No need to be ashamed about 25 years. I have neglected Him for many years . .. and only really grow for 22 years. So it is about growing and not just knowing.
1Pe 2:2 As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
I am just wondering what I would have been now if I was really growing all those years that I wasted.
If you are really that earnest . . .I hope you have discovered the mystery of Gods "milk"
Wnen I entered the Church in 1990 my third wife had just divorced me for the same lying reason as the other two had, incompatability. Truthfully, they did not know how to deal with my night terrors, gifted me by all those poor South Vietnamese and watching my friends and the men, kids, assigned under me to die and we were not allowed to win the war.
But when II entered Vietnamj I was an atheist But when I found my best friend blown to pieces because I was informed he took a mortar in the chest I found myself standing in the middle of the Company Street cursing the God I professed not to be in existence. And it that still quiet sure voice He said to me, "Wy curse me, you don't even believe." Then I was a deist searching for who was this God that could speak to me and nobody else could hear Him?
About twenty-three years later I was really hungry to know God and I purchased a KJV Bible, but it read like pure gibberish, I could understand the Book of John for the greater part, but the rest of the New Testament only made marginal sense to me and the Old Testament, the only chapter that made sense to me was Isa. 53, the Gospel of Isaiah.
But there was an obviously single Blond Woman that had legs all the way from her behind, plumb down to the ground and she, without the heals was as tall as myself. But perfect woman or not, three wives were unable to feel safe all night long with my memories haunting me. I figured that if you can't figure a thing out in three tries, it was time to quit doing that.
But I found out later that she was taken with me and she called my apatment to ask if I wanted to take her to the Valentines Banquet in the FamilyLife Center at the Church.
We were married about a year and a half later and her growing up a deacon's daughter I could lay in bed after she went to sleep and study and with her snoring, I would as her something and from a full on snore she would answer my queery and go right back to sleep. She now says she did not sleepfor thos first five years because she was the Bible Answer Woman.
And the more I know God, even in the Wrath so many deny, I love Him even more. Nay God always bless you as He is me.