Author Topic: Not New-Hit on outrageously  (Read 1097 times)

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Offline sassygrrl32

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Not New-Hit on outrageously
« on: Sat Apr 01, 2017 - 13:26:40 »
HI, I'm not new here. It's been awhile though. I posted this in another forum. But I would like to get everyone's opinions, thoughts and if this situation happens to men as well.

Ok, I'm not sure if this is where this belongs but I wanted to get some input. Just a little background. I'm currently travelling(Oklahoma) and do all the time for business, etc.
So today in Walmart a guy(20 yrs younger) hits on me. Summed up, "I'm married with 2 kids, wife's not giving me any so why don't you give me some? But 1st, gotta get drugs. My dealer just walked in the store." This is nothing new. Some are way more outrageous. I'm attractive for late 40's but this ridiculous. It's getting worse as I get older. Last yr I had a guy stop me while I was walking and wanted to know if I'd go to his apt with him and 1 of the most outrageous was a guy in Utah who stopped by my car(I was in front of an abandoned building looking at something on my phone), we chat then he asks me to dare him to walk to the building naked. He then gets out of his car and starts to disrobe. I wish him well and drive away. Later I tell this to a man I know and he says, "OMG, that is the most outrageous way I've heard of a man hitting on a woman. When this happens I'm not smiling, looking around, as if I'm open to even being approached. And I'm not some celebrity model lookalike. And it doesn't matter what I say, I can say anything, I could say I was satan, no matter how bad, they're only more enamored. Unfortunately, I don't attract the right kind in relationships either(but that's a whole other story & they're almost, if not more outrageous). So I'm wondering, do I have a neon sign on my forehead? Or does this happen to everyone else too? Or maybe it's the shock factor....Just trying to understand this behavior. Everyone around me(my therapists especially) think I should write a book. Admittingly, everyone would be rolling in the floor. So, do other women encounter this too? Men?

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #1 on: Sat Apr 01, 2017 - 16:12:37 »
Are you dressing like a lady of the night?

Offline geronimo

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #2 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 08:22:25 »
 I was just thinking about what society will be coming to in the future. Mostly because of what they are being taught now. We can't expect much from a society that not only accepts, but celebrates that type behavior from our elected leaders, as well as abandonment of the truth and respect for women in all areas of society. And to defend, even promote, that type attitude towards women. It's like we didn't have any mothers or wives or female children to protect from that stuff.
 I don't know what to tell you, other than arm yourself, as that seems to be the accepted solution these days. Apparently grabbing a lady by the uh oh is accepted behavior now. Where are the parents? I don't know. I pray for you.

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #3 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 08:36:40 »
I was just thinking about what society will be coming to in the future. Mostly because of what they are being taught now. We can't expect much from a society that not only accepts, but celebrates that type behavior from our elected leaders, as well as abandonment of the truth and respect for women in all areas of society. And to defend, even promote, that type attitude towards women. It's like we didn't have any mothers or wives or female children to protect from that stuff.
 I don't know what to tell you, other than arm yourself, as that seems to be the accepted solution these days. Apparently grabbing a lady by the uh oh is accepted behavior now. Where are the parents? I don't know. I pray for you.

The "I can do whatever I want, don't blame the victim" mentality is also idiotic.  I have two daughters.  My oldest is almost a teenager.  I am teaching her about boys and sex, and what is right and what is not.

I want her to be safe and know the truth.

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #3 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 08:36:40 »
Pinterest: GraceCentered.com

Offline geronimo

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #4 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 09:41:13 »
 So, TC, your daughter comes home and tells of an experience she had with a snatch grabber. You immediately ask her how she promoted it? Let the grabber go, or say "oh well, boys will be boys"?
 I've read enough of your posts, that you are an upright and fair man. I don't believe you'd just drop it immediately or blame your daughter s. You for sure wouldn't be inviting the grabber in for dinner. Am I wrong?

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #4 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 09:41:13 »



Offline MeMyself

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #5 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 09:44:55 »
What kind of input are you wishing to find?
I am in my late 40's as well, have been approached and I am watched. I don't notice it, but my kids and husband do; but it has *never* been what you describe! In fact, it's kind of hard to believe, if I may be honest.
My husband tells me that my vibe is, "off limits."
I don't make eye contact, I don't encourage conversation, though I am polite, I am also quick to keep moving along, hardly pausing to answer a question if I am asked. I answer, but don't stop to do so, if that makes sense.
Pray that God help you have an "off limits" vibe.

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #6 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 12:30:38 »
What kind of input are you wishing to find?
I am in my late 40's as well, have been approached and I am watched. I don't notice it, but my kids and husband do; but it has *never* been what you describe! In fact, it's kind of hard to believe, if I may be honest.
My husband tells me that my vibe is, "off limits."
I don't make eye contact, I don't encourage conversation, though I am polite, I am also quick to keep moving along, hardly pausing to answer a question if I am asked. I answer, but don't stop to do so, if that makes sense.
Pray that God help you have an "off limits" vibe.
Excellent MM! These are the things that I tell my wife. Also , not to even make eye contact with other drivers while driving so to avoid possible road rage. No telling what people can perceive from body language. It's best not to give anybody a reason to question. No means yes, right?  ::frown::

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #7 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 12:45:43 »
So, TC, your daughter comes home and tells of an experience she had with a snatch grabber. You immediately ask her how she promoted it? Let the grabber go, or say "oh well, boys will be boys"?
 I've read enough of your posts, that you are an upright and fair man. I don't believe you'd just drop it immediately or blame your daughter s. You for sure wouldn't be inviting the grabber in for dinner. Am I wrong?

There are two issues here.  And they can both have merit in the real world, even though politics seems to make them opposites.

1.  I don't condone the behavior of men who are perverts and sexually assault women or verbally harass them.  I am also teaching my daughter the truth that many men/teenage boys will say whatever they need to, to get sexual gratification.  I also wouldn't place the blame on women for being assaulted.  I classify this as right/wrong issue.

2.  At the same time, the "I can do whatever I want, don't blame the victim crowd" ignores reality in favor of PC culture.  That is idiotic.  How women dress can send unwanted signals to men, especially the pervs.  Being aware of this is smart.   I classify this as a smart/stupid scale.  An example is being a pedestrian crossing a city street where the pedestrian always has the right of way.  The pedestrian is always in the right, but may be seriously hurt if they don't pay attention.   




Offline chosenone

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #8 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 16:26:19 »
Not sure why you have posted this twice or what you are hoping to hear that you didn't hear on the first thread but here goes.

Yes, women get men look/stare at them. They sometimes get men who speak to them, thats life. Just ignore them, turn away and move on.
Men have women do the same, again that's life. It happens. My husband had a gay man very keen on him in the past.  ::eek:: He also had a lady at work a few years back who was giving him FAR too much attention. He ignored it, was polite but distant and got on with his job. She got another job after a while.

Some people crave this sort of attention and and it makes them feel good about themselves, some don't like it at all.
 
Just act modestly, don't encourage them or engage in conversation, and don't worry about it. 

What else is there to say.

Are you a Christian?
« Last Edit: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 16:48:47 by chosenone »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #9 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 16:38:34 »
So, TC, your daughter comes home and tells of an experience she had with a snatch grabber. You immediately ask her how she promoted it? Let the grabber go, or say "oh well, boys will be boys"?
 I've read enough of your posts, that you are an upright and fair man. I don't believe you'd just drop it immediately or blame your daughter s. You for sure wouldn't be inviting the grabber in for dinner. Am I wrong?

There are two issues here.  And they can both have merit in the real world, even though politics seems to make them opposites.

1.  I don't condone the behavior of men who are perverts and sexually assault women or verbally harass them.  I am also teaching my daughter the truth that many men/teenage boys will say whatever they need to, to get sexual gratification.  I also wouldn't place the blame on women for being assaulted.  I classify this as right/wrong issue.

2.  At the same time, the "I can do whatever I want, don't blame the victim crowd" ignores reality in favor of PC culture.  That is idiotic.  How women dress can send unwanted signals to men, especially the pervs.  Being aware of this is smart.   I classify this as a smart/stupid scale.  An example is being a pedestrian crossing a city street where the pedestrian always has the right of way.  The pedestrian is always in the right, but may be seriously hurt if they don't pay attention.
 


Wow we agree on something. ::clappingoverhead::

 It saddens me that women will go out wearing less clothing and looking far more promiscuous than prostitutes did only 25-30 or so years ago. ::frown::
My old neighbour had a daughter who was then aged about 12 or 13. One evening I saw her take her daughter and another girl of a similar age out somewhere, and I am not kidding, they looked like little hookers. Plastered with make up, wearing really immodest clothes.  I am very hard to shock but I was shocked and very saddened by this.

As women there is a lot we can do not to send out the wrong messages by dressing and acting modestly. By going against the flow of the world standards. By being different.
Many Christian men do try and keep their minds pure and their eyes off women who dress this way, and we have a responsibility to help them do this in my opinion.
 
« Last Edit: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 16:45:40 by chosenone »

Offline geronimo

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #10 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 16:57:13 »
I reckon I look at it in the light of the man being responsible for his actions. Like and alcoholic. It doesn't matter if he goes to the liquor store and buys alcohol, or if he's at a party with drinks being served. If he chooses to Imbibe, it is his responsibility and he must pay the consequences. If he is a grabber, he'd better be sure he's had an invitation, and not just the fact that he sees it and wants it. It's the woman's responsibility to say yes or no. And I'm of the age that not having permission is still saying no. Assuming, because a woman looks good to you, is not permission or saying yes. IMO. I understand what you are saying, but the responsibility is still on the offender, not the offended. Maybe she is eligible for stoning in some religions. But normally in that situation, man is not the victim.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #11 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 17:24:07 »
I reckon I look at it in the light of the man being responsible for his actions. Like and alcoholic. It doesn't matter if he goes to the liquor store and buys alcohol, or if he's at a party with drinks being served. If he chooses to Imbibe, it is his responsibility and he must pay the consequences. If he is a grabber, he'd better be sure he's had an invitation, and not just the fact that he sees it and wants it. It's the woman's responsibility to say yes or no. And I'm of the age that not having permission is still saying no. Assuming, because a woman looks good to you, is not permission or saying yes. IMO. I understand what you are saying, but the responsibility is still on the offender, not the offended. Maybe she is eligible for stoning in some religions. But normally in that situation, man is not the victim.

I see it like locking the doors in your home. If you get burgled its not your fault, but if you had locked the doors they wouldn't have got in. Its common sense to do what you can to protect yourself, and that includes not getting so drunk that you dont know what you are doing as well. 

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #12 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 17:33:33 »
You know cell phones are powerful tools anymore:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dpljREw58g0

However, a friend of mine had a pervert stalking her. The third and final time that she seen him was in walmart. He was getting really close to her so she decided to give him what he wanted. She lifted up her blouse just enough to show him her  glock. ::giggle::

He rushed out to never be seen again. He really got lucky, he really did.

Offline geronimo

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #13 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 18:05:59 »
Sounds like he made a responsible decision. heh heh.

Offline Texas Conservative

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #14 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 19:51:08 »
I reckon I look at it in the light of the man being responsible for his actions. Like and alcoholic. It doesn't matter if he goes to the liquor store and buys alcohol, or if he's at a party with drinks being served. If he chooses to Imbibe, it is his responsibility and he must pay the consequences. If he is a grabber, he'd better be sure he's had an invitation, and not just the fact that he sees it and wants it. It's the woman's responsibility to say yes or no. And I'm of the age that not having permission is still saying no. Assuming, because a woman looks good to you, is not permission or saying yes. IMO. I understand what you are saying, but the responsibility is still on the offender, not the offended. Maybe she is eligible for stoning in some religions. But normally in that situation, man is not the victim.

Yes, the responsibility of being wrong lies on the offender.  I agree with you on that.

But, at the same time it is smart to understand how you appear, to follow God's wisdom.

Offline geronimo

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Re: Not New-Hit on outrageously
« Reply #15 on: Thu Apr 06, 2017 - 20:30:12 »
Absolutely. We each are responsible for our own decisions. Not for other's.