Author Topic: Called upon the Serve the Church again  (Read 5611 times)

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John 1:1

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Called upon the Serve the Church again
« on: Mon Feb 11, 2008 - 18:31:09 »
This might fare better in the general discussion area, but I feel I might get input from those already serving.

When I was 13-14, I was called upon the serve the church, at the time, I was going to Catholic mass on a regular basis, I wrestled with it during those years and ultimately turned it down.  Here I am 26 years later, I found out there is a vacant church building just a few blocks away from me.  I have been looking for a new local church to go to, and this was the first one I checked out.  There are no signs on or around it anywhere.  The evening I was in dialog with God, I tend to talk to  him out loud and contemplate things such as this, when my thoughts came about to open the doors to that place, I was hit with his spirit boldly, it almost was painful and it was just like being shocked for an instant. 

I look back at the first calling, seeing what a complete mistake I made not accepting it and doing God's will, that doing my own, I still ended up not having a family at all, so my logic was clearly flawed.  This time, I still wrestle with the same main element, as in, I absolutely do not feel worthy for this cause at all, I can't believe he would pick me, I consider myself the least of his children, and the more I think that, the stronger he calls me. 

I write this, holding back my tears in the process, knowing full well, I have no training at all to do this, that I have alot of things that I should address, other priorities that logic dictates I must address, yet I stand here in complete fear of his wrath if I do not obay him this time.  I place myself in his hands and let him do what he needs to, I do so knowing full well, he's in charge now, not I, and I keep thinking with one of the lines from the Lords pray, "Thy will be done".  Have any of you experienced something similar to this, how do you prepare, how do you allow him to work through you even though you know it's utterly illogical to do this, that I am clearly not worthy of this task at all, yet I sit here with a heavy heart knowing full well, his will, will be done.  Also, this will not be a catholic church, it will be all denominational.

Advice anybody, please, I'm just having a hard time with this, I know it must be done, I just don't know how or why, I just know....

John 1:1

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #1 on: Tue Feb 12, 2008 - 12:11:41 »
Well, we have 54 views, no responses.  I guess what I was struggling with is the preconceived notion as to what a minister is supposed to be like, I reflect now and realize, I'm setting up an ideal that I cannot do on my own.  I was overthinking this all together.  The idea, keep it as casual, as informal as possible, that what I thought goes out the window, that I am overthinking this, that my roll is simply to get the doors open, contribute where I can and not worry about becoming some figurehead.  That this can happen and likely, will be the most casual gathering together imaginable.  I'll let God handle the necessary details, for now, just to keep it simple, easy to handle, and not fret over my preconceived notions, that I can simply be me, remain myself, do what I do best and that's good enough.  From there, will see how it happens, what unfolds may turn into something that has a great deal of appeal towards those that are turned off due to the overly structured and formalized settings.

At least I have the music department covered, I play guitar, so I guess I need to start picking up some mainstream gospel chords and music, at least I have amazing grace covered, and if anything, if nobody shows up initially, I'll just play that so people realize, this church is now open because they will be able to hear the music.  That I don't have to focus on creating these moving sermons, that I can simply wing it and let this happen naturally on it's own.  So, basically, the more I stand aside and let God do what he want's to do, the rest will fall together as he intended. 

I needed to get this off of my chest, so if it sounds like I'm rambling, forgive me, it's good to share even if nobody is responding.

John 1:1

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #2 on: Thu Feb 14, 2008 - 13:18:44 »
Well, I guess this will remain a journal, perhaps someone might also have/will have the same experience as I.

Latest update, I have the flu, so have yet to contact the owner of the property, I'd like to approach them without having to blow my nose an cough in front of them, it's kind of unprofessional, so have been holding off on that.

I had a couple of dreams, one the other night, where I was in this building that was partitianed off cloth curtains/walls, I walked by one of the partitians and observed a ring of people kneeling on the ground with a leader/priest standing on the top edge of it.  There were 4 - 5 people to the left looking inwards, 3 children on the right side looking outwards, they were chanting this strange tone.  Just prior to that, what looked like an old person with a beard was holding onto this big black embossed book saying it's the word of the devil, and these people in that room were having a ceremony around it.  I proceded into a room to the west of it and there was a woman and her child, she was in anguish over what was going on in that ceremony, I told her about Jesus and how she need not fear, for the lord is on her side and that nothing can stand against God.

I then had a dream last night where I showed up at a church and the minister asked the congregation weather I was allowed to stay with their group, to the right, a few of them raised their hands in affirmations that I should stay, to the left, a larger number of them raised their hands that I should go.  When I explained to them that I was opening up the doors to this building, they cast another vote, this time much more of the ones to the right raised their hands casting a positive vote my direction, the others on the left, there were far fewer of them raising their hands in opposition.

I don't know what this means outside of the fact, this has bled into my dreams themselves now.

Offline kanham

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #3 on: Fri Feb 22, 2008 - 21:51:37 »


I don't know your story so I really can't say.

I will say that I felt called as a kid and because of my life choices felt like that wasn't going to happen. Ten years into a career in advertising and I packed up the family and began ministry. It is not easy and it isn't for everyone but it is what I am called to do even on the days I look at the want ads for graphic designers.

John 1:1

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #4 on: Wed Mar 05, 2008 - 06:47:42 »
kanham, I am not having to leave my gig, I'm self employed, I have to expand it but shush on that matter, that task at hand in this matter is really coming into place now.  So, so much thanks to the Lord for his wisdom, spirit, inspiration, what a wonderful God to take time out in these man made matters!!!

I integrate rather then leave, you were in need of total resolve along leaving beceause what was around you, what was set up to be was counterprductive. I stay in the "general" local mainly because of obvious reasons, there is much more so, much, the Lord has recently revealed to me through today.  Praise be his name!!!!  Now if I can remember it tomorrow I'll be hapy, he he. lol

I really did have a good day today though, a big part of it was choosing to have one, another big part, God decided to let me have one as well.  Im finding he leans towards letting us choose that area mostly. :)
« Last Edit: Wed Mar 05, 2008 - 18:40:30 by John 1:1 »

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #4 on: Wed Mar 05, 2008 - 06:47:42 »



Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #5 on: Wed Mar 05, 2008 - 17:48:32 »
The evening I was in dialog with God, I tend to talk to  him out loud and contemplate things such as this, when my thoughts came about to open the doors to that place, I was hit with his spirit boldly, it almost was painful and it was just like being shocked for an instant. 

I look back at the first calling, seeing what a complete mistake I made not accepting it and doing God's will, that doing my own, I still ended up not having a family at all, so my logic was clearly flawed.  This time, I still wrestle with the same main element, as in, I absolutely do not feel worthy for this cause at all, I can't believe he would pick me, I consider myself the least of his children, and the more I think that, the stronger he calls me. 

I write this, holding back my tears in the process, knowing full well, I have no training at all to do this, that I have alot of things that I should address, other priorities that logic dictates I must address, yet I stand here in complete fear of his wrath if I do not obay him this time.  I place myself in his hands and let him do what he needs to, I do so knowing full well, he's in charge now, not I, and I keep thinking with one of the lines from the Lords pray, "Thy will be done".  Have any of you experienced something similar to this, how do you prepare, how do you allow him to work through you even though you know it's utterly illogical to do this, that I am clearly not worthy of this task at all, yet I sit here with a heavy heart knowing full well, his will, will be done.
Yes, I have.

But I didn't act on it.  And now, perhaps its too late.  So I have no advice for you.  Only sympathy.

John 1:1

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #6 on: Thu Mar 06, 2008 - 00:37:43 »
I keep seeing things fit into place, like parts of his plan unfolding and how he works to benifet my being.  I think having a family at this stage would be counterproductive, I'd end up having to divide my time, which is already distributed pretty thinly with everything that I have going on at this point.  So,  not looking for sympathy.

I am working steadily towards finishing up current business so I can dedicate more time to this challenge.  With the tasks I've accompolished in the past, I'm putting this as being yet one more added to the pile, so do have things in better perspective now as to the scope and magnatude of what I must do here.  I was even offered a job locally I could fall back on to do the 9-5, which sure would ease up my schedule since running a business takes it's toll on your time and resources.

Offline Imabear

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Re: Called upon the Serve the Church again
« Reply #7 on: Sat Mar 22, 2008 - 13:31:44 »
Brian, (I hope I got that right)
I don't usually read this part of the forums, but my recommendation would be to just start something where you are, with those you come in contact with.  Maybe a house church or something. 
I want to caution you, that there are many churches that have had to close their doors recently due to the enormous costs of upkeep and heat.  I wouldn't want to see you get stuck in that mess.


This has reminded me of an article I read in one of Christianity Today's online newsletters.  http://www.christianitytoday.com/outreach/articles/starbucksspirituality.html

By the way Christianity Today has a bunch of different free online newsletters you can subscribe to.  Some are for small group leaders, others for people called to outreach and evangelism.  Check them out, you might find something that is helpful.

 

     
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