how to explain profanity to a 1st grader

[TOURAINE]

Son is hearing much profane language at school, on bus, from other kids etc..He comes home wanting to know what %#&* means.  What is the best way to explain that those words are unacceptable and not to be repeated? (without sounding horrified) T.Y!  

[larry2]

Son is hearing much profane language at school, on bus, from other kids etc..He comes home wanting to know what %#&* means.  What is the best way to explain that those words are unacceptable and not to be repeated? (without sounding horrified) T.Y! 
 

In my youth it was called a switch. I may have not learned the meaning of the word, but I knew from that point on not to use it. No, your kid isn't dumb and will test you. Proverbs 22:15. "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him."

[JohnDB]

Well Larry,

My mamma used soap...and let me tell you dial tastes better than ivory. Irish spring may smell good but it was the worst.

[TOURAINE]

Thank you for the replies. Using the switch and/or soap on a child who is asking WHAT something means does not seem very productive to me. IF he already KNEW the word was profane and said it anyway, I can understand the punishment. However, when there is NO knowledge, such reactions can only bring confusion. EX: English is not my primary language. I remember asking what certain words meant when I first came to the US as an adult. Some words WERE foul, but how was I to know? I had heard them from other people. Am I glad I was not made to eat soap or get a whipping.!!

[Nevertheless]

Touraine, I think your first post contained the answer. Simply tell your child that those words are unacceptable and not to be repeated. If he still wants to know what it  means then explain in simple terms, also explaining that people use foul language to insult, intimidate and offend others.

You are correct that simply asking what a word means is not a reason for punishment.

[kensington]

Well, much to my suprise, my son used a completely diffefrent approach with his two 5 year olds.  The first time I heard my grandson call his dad a "poopy (other word) head" I almost fainted. My son just sat there, "yeah... that's right, daddy is a ****head"... and went on about his business.

I called him out on it immediately, and he told me. That in his day care, all the kids were getting in so much trouble for cussing he decided to try something and it worked. He told Luke to pick a word, any cuss word, and that he could use that one at home and in private, but he could NEVER use any other word outside of that. He didn't know one word from the other, and he picked this one. And he NEVER, EVER cusses at any time, at school or at home.

That was two years ago, and now, he is so used to being able to say it... he doesn't. He doesn't care, he has found other words, that he thinks is just as cool, that are not cussing to use, and it ws never a big deal in their house.

I don't know that I would reccommend that, but his son didn't cuss behind his back and didn't get into trouble at school when other kids were. So... go figure. KWIM?"

[Bitter Sweet]

Well, much to my suprise, my son used a completely diffefrent approach with his two 5 year olds.  The first time I heard my grandson call his dad a "poopy (other word) head" I almost fainted. My son just sat there, "yeah... that's right, daddy is a ****head"... and went on about his business.

I called him out on it immediately, and he told me. That in his day care, all the kids were getting in so much trouble for cussing he decided to try something and it worked. He told Luke to pick a word, any cuss word, and that he could use that one at home and in private, but he could NEVER use any other word outside of that. He didn't know one word from the other, and he picked this one. And he NEVER, EVER cusses at any time, at school or at home.

That was two years ago, and now, he is so used to being able to say it... he doesn't. He doesn't care, he has found other words, that he thinks is just as cool, that are not cussing to use, and it ws never a big deal in their house.

I don't know that I would reccommend that, but his son didn't cuss behind his back and didn't get into trouble at school when other kids were. So... go figure. KWIM?"

This is very similar with how I taught my daughter. She came home one day and asked me what the middle finger meant when she was 6 years old, some kid gave it to the teacher. I told her it wasn't a nice thing to do but this is what it means in words. I told her there are different meanings for that word but most of the time it's just used as an angry expression. I also told her that she was allowed to use the finger and say cuss words, but only on the 4th of July while jumping on a bed.

That 4th of July we rented a hotel room on the riverfront where the firewords were being displayed. She started jumping on the bed and I took some pictures because she was so excited and happy being allowed to do that, I taught her a couple more cuss words that day too in a few languages. She never said it again but now that she's 17 almost 18, she cusses like a sailor in front of me so IDK what went wrong. BUT it's acceptable to cuss in my family's culture so we never cringe or think twice when we hear bad words, there is a time and place for everything. She's also Yale bound so it's not because she can't think of a better word.

 

[MeMyself]

Its only as big a deal as you react to it IMO.  If they are experimenting or asking what the word means, just remain calm, tell them it is NOT a nice word,its even a bad word and that they must never use it. Most kids will just be like   "A *bad* word? I don't *want* to say a *bad* word!" and be done with it.

When they KNOW it is bad, and or if they choose to use it anyway, THEN more strict consequences should be used IMO.  

[DaveW]

One member of my former forums home (Christianity.com) named dianetavegia  said the worst beating she ever got as a child was when she asked her dad "What does 'virgin' mean?"

After the beating her dad asked her where she heard such an obscene term.  She answered "Round yon virgin, mother and child."

[MeMyself]

One member of my former forums home (Christianity.com) named dianetavegia  said the worst beating she ever got as a child was when she asked her dad "What does 'virgin' mean?"

After the beating her dad asked her where she heard such an obscene term.  She answered "Round yon virgin, mother and child."

  ugh! That is awful!  Virgin isn't even a bad word, for heaven's sake! 

[DaveW]

ugh! That is awful!  Virgin isn't even a bad word, for heaven's sake! 

Back in the 1950s it was considered a bad word as it recognized the existance of sexuality.

[kensington]

Its only as big a deal as you react to it IMO.  If they are experimenting or asking what the word means, just remain calm, tell them it is NOT a nice word,its even a bad word and that they must never use it. Most kids will just be like   "A *bad* word? I don't *want* to say a *bad* word!" and be done with it.

When they KNOW it is bad, and or if they choose to use it anyway, THEN more strict consequences should be used IMO.  

I've raised 7 kids and I was a kid too. And this has never been my experience. It's been my experience, that once you tell a kid that something is "Bad" and "Don't ever do it"... they immediately find a way to get away from you to try it.  They want to find out exactly how Bad it is.

[MeMyself]

Its only as big a deal as you react to it IMO.  If they are experimenting or asking what the word means, just remain calm, tell them it is NOT a nice word,its even a bad word and that they must never use it. Most kids will just be like   "A *bad* word? I don't *want* to say a *bad* word!" and be done with it.

When they KNOW it is bad, and or if they choose to use it anyway, THEN more strict consequences should be used IMO.  

I've raised 7 kids and I was a kid too. And this has never been my experience. It's been my experience, that once you tell a kid that something is "Bad" and "Don't ever do it"... they immediately find a way to get away from you to try it.  They want to find out exactly how Bad it is.

4 here plus, I teach...every time I simply said it was bad and not to be said, they were very remorseful and it wasn't much of an issue after that...  

This just happened today.  My little one was playing at the playground when a bigger kid who was trying to be impressive started throwing the "S" word around.  She said she finally said to him "did you know that is a bad word and you shouldn't say it?" He said that he had that habit of saying it in his family.  She told him "Well, you need to break that habit then!" and ran off to play. Cracked me up. 

[MeMyself]

PS. and if there are some that can't wait to run away from you and try those words out...there are LOTS of others who are more than happy to report it back to you. LOL.

That is a whole other issue though.  The op was about explaining it to kids who are merely in the asking phase. 

[hwyangel]

I just explained to my boys that they were "baby words" and that sometimes adults said them by accident because they are not thinking. On a few occasions they have corrected adults with the "big boy word" or just laughed at them for talking like a baby. lol