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Author Topic: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!  (Read 106936 times)

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Offline admin

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Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« on: Wed Oct 18, 2006 - 10:35:52 »
Spank me, please

Social psychologists and financial analysts continue to look for the critical personal characteristics that lead a person to be a CEO or successful entrepreneur. Much to the dismay of child psychologists, there is one thing they all seem to have in common.

As children, they were paddled, belted, switched or swatted.

The frustrated child psychologists wince at such a finding and warn that spanking “slows mental development and hinders achievement.
« Last Edit: Wed Oct 18, 2006 - 10:42:09 by admin »

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Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« on: Wed Oct 18, 2006 - 10:35:52 »

Offline mandalee65

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #1 on: Wed Oct 18, 2006 - 11:15:07 »
I hate that I can't spank my child when I need to (i.e., in public). He's only 3, and a delayed spanking at this age is simply not effective. It doesn't take much, either - one light swat and his heart is absolutely broken. I just don't dare do it in public, except at church.

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #1 on: Wed Oct 18, 2006 - 11:15:07 »

Offline zoonance

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #2 on: Fri Oct 20, 2006 - 17:41:38 »
The frustrated child psychologists wince at such a finding and warn that spanking “slows mental development and hinders achievement.

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #2 on: Fri Oct 20, 2006 - 17:41:38 »

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #3 on: Mon Oct 23, 2006 - 06:39:50 »
They ought to quit looking so hard at the elements that go into raising up a functional, gracious, poised, talented, confident kid -- and look rather at what appears to work for each kid.

I am sure there are kids somewhere that require little or even no physical/corporal punishment in the mix -- but I have never met one.

I have, OTOH, met several kids I found to be obnoxious, out-of-control, who wre raised by parents who never ever ever spanked them.

Then there are the kids who got liberal doses of spanking and swatting and thumping, which might have been misapplied, since the kids were still obnoxious brats.

It's not like there's a secret, inflexible formula.  What works in your household?  What gets you the end result you want in your kids?

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #3 on: Mon Oct 23, 2006 - 06:39:50 »

Offline whispering hope

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #4 on: Mon Oct 23, 2006 - 18:10:03 »
The secret, for me, was to study each child and figure out what worked best.  We gave a few spankings but mostly a certain tone of voice or a look would render the culprit conscience-stricken enough to "straighten up."  Time-outs and grounding were also effective.  I have cared for children or known children where the only way to make the point was a spanking, but never carried out in anger. 

Whispering Hope

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #4 on: Mon Oct 23, 2006 - 18:10:03 »



Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #5 on: Mon Oct 23, 2006 - 18:14:01 »
My wife still needs one now and then.   ::nodding::

Offline Cliftyman

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #6 on: Tue Oct 24, 2006 - 14:13:49 »
I've had to spank a couple times when time-outs wouldn't work.  Sometimes I don't think its that effective for long term correction.  Especially on my young child.  Perhaps when he is 3-5 a spanking might go longer term in helping him remember what to do and what not to do... right now timeouts just seem like better punishment... or putting his toys in timeout seems to work well too.

I was spanked when I was young... I'm moderately successful for my age I guess...  ::smile::

Offline DCR

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #7 on: Tue Oct 24, 2006 - 21:56:28 »
Discipline should be taylored for the child.  No one method works best for all.

I suspect it depends on the personality of the child.

(But, what do I know... I don't have any kids.  ::doh:: )

Offline confused and lost

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #8 on: Thu Oct 26, 2006 - 10:12:09 »
HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #8 on: Thu Oct 26, 2006 - 10:12:09 »

Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #9 on: Thu Oct 26, 2006 - 16:54:30 »
HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

Spanking is not beating a kid up.  Spanking is not wrong.  When done right, it is the best deterrent to violence and it instills respect for authority.  We are living in a world devoid of discipline and a lack of respect for authority.

Offline Weeble

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #10 on: Sun Oct 29, 2006 - 09:07:41 »
HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...


Well you are confused on this isue.

I was spanked growing up.  It was never done out of anger, and I hated the talk before the spanking worse that the spanking itself.  I have grown up to love and cherish the man and woman who took the time to love me and discipline me.  Besides it's Biblical:

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die



twd

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #11 on: Sun Oct 29, 2006 - 12:15:17 »
The problem is that we have lost the distinction between appropriate physical correction and physical abuse, so that the first is assumed by many to be automatically the second.  That is, to use the technical, psychological term, hogwash.

Offline confused and lost

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #12 on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 - 10:06:14 »
I must apolgise for my previous message, as it is plainly veiwable it was writtern in anger as i had just spoken to a friend of mine who had just been released from hospital after a suicide attempt because his dad beat him up. My main issue with your proposal that spanking is right is the fact that when given a small amount of power it is in human nature to try and get more... are you guys not worried that a simple smack could escalate in to something more?

kalen

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #13 on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 - 10:38:40 »
The key is to remember is to discipline our kids (which isn't always "punishment").

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #14 on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 - 10:47:05 »
I hate that I can't spank my child when I need to (i.e., in public). He's only 3, and a delayed spanking at this age is simply not effective. It doesn't take much, either - one light swat and his heart is absolutely broken. I just don't dare do it in public, except at church.

Have you tried taking him to a public restroom?  I had to do that with my 2 y/o once, and now I just mention the bathroom and he bucks right up.

Our best form of "discipline" right now is at their bedtime.  Boy my boys are afraid of the dark, so the mere threat of closing their door is enough to make them behave  ::lookaround::

KP

Offline djcasp

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #15 on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 - 16:52:13 »
My wife still needs one now and then.   ::nodding::
I hope you follow the rule of thumb and do not use and stick that is bigger than the circumference of your thumb.

Offline Weeble

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #16 on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 - 17:27:13 »
I must apolgise for my previous message, as it is plainly veiwable it was writtern in anger as i had just spoken to a friend of mine who had just been released from hospital after a suicide attempt because his dad beat him up. My main issue with your proposal that spanking is right is the fact that when given a small amount of power it is in human nature to try and get more... are you guys not worried that a simple smack could escalate in to something more?


First I am sorry if I misread your tone  Your mood bear was set to angelic.


There is a HUGE difference between spanking for punishment and beating your kids because you are frustrated. My wife and I use coporal punishment and we try as hard as we can to cool off before we spank them. It is hard but a trip to their room so that you can cool off and then talking about why they are getting the spanking and then spanking is better in my opinion than slapping them across the mouth because they disrespected their mother. So at least up to this point a simple smack of the behind has never esclated into something more.

Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #17 on: Tue Dec 26, 2006 - 19:06:46 »
What caused mental scarring in me was the constant verbal abuse I suffered from my sorry-excuse-for-a-dad. I healed from the beatings.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #18 on: Wed Dec 27, 2006 - 01:48:14 »
We need to plan ahead and try to see possible outcomes.  As was mentioned before, looking at what works for each individual kid is the key --

For some kids, having carried them to the restroom so they can get their swat on the butt while out away from home, and then reminding them later that a trip to the restroom is a possibility, will work well.  For some other kids it will instill in them a hatred of the restroom and keep them in diapers until they are 5!  You gotta tread carefully!

Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #19 on: Wed Dec 27, 2006 - 13:34:32 »
All I had to do with my daughters when they were little was ask, "Do you me to give you something to cry about?" when they were unruly, and they shut right up. They knew it wasn't an idle threat like parents do these days (If you don't stop that, I'm going to spank you.) The child knows that will never happen and go right on with what they're doing with no fear of punishment. My daughters knew I would do what I said. One thing I never did was lie to my daughters.

Offline zoonance

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #20 on: Wed Dec 27, 2006 - 23:34:50 »
I must apolgise for my previous message, as it is plainly veiwable it was writtern in anger as i had just spoken to a friend of mine who had just been released from hospital after a suicide attempt because his dad beat him up. My main issue with your proposal that spanking is right is the fact that when given a small amount of power it is in human nature to try and get more... are you guys not worried that a simple smack could escalate in to something more?


Are you a parent?  I could be way off, but you sound too young and/or unmarried.  I used CENI by the way.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #21 on: Thu Dec 28, 2006 - 22:55:53 »
My wife still needs one now and then.   ::nodding::
Every time I see this thread title I think sado-masochistic thoughts for a moment.  Sad, iddinnit?

Thanks ever so much for egging me on...

Offline memmy

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #22 on: Fri Dec 29, 2006 - 21:26:35 »
All I had to do with my daughters when they were little was ask, "Do you me to give you something to cry about?" when they were unruly, and they shut right up. They knew it wasn't an idle threat like parents do these days (If you don't stop that, I'm going to spank you.) The child knows that will never happen and go right on with what they're doing with no fear of punishment. My daughters knew I would do what I said. One thing I never did was lie to my daughters.
So funny you should mention that. Today my daughter was talking about that exact phrase. She said with her 2 year old, it is a silly thing to say, since usually the problem is that he is already crying and why would you ask that, if in his mind, he already has something to cry about?

My Mom always used that phrase.

Blessings, Memmy

Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #23 on: Fri Dec 29, 2006 - 22:14:52 »
So funny you should mention that. Today my daughter was talking about that exact phrase. She said with her 2 year old, it is a silly thing to say, since usually the problem is that he is already crying and why would you ask that, if in his mind, he already has something to cry about?

My Mom always used that phrase.

Blessings, Memmy

Children are not stupid. They know whether or not they can get their way with crying, and often they can. Too many parents would rather give in and give the child what they want. Asking them that question ALWAYS shut them up, because they knew I would give them a REAL reason to cry.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #24 on: Sat Dec 30, 2006 - 04:01:27 »
Either that, or they knew that there was no possible way their father would EVER understand what was causing them pain -- so they sucked it up, shut it down, squelched themselves inside, and trudged along ahead in life.   Some kids will stay shut down like that and want nothing to do with their fathers years later.

Yes, I know that lots of times a crying screaming whiny kid is just acting out and being manipulative.  So are adults often acting the same exact way, they've simply learned more adult-acceptable ways of pulling the same garbage.

But -- but.

Sometimes, with a kid old enough to articulate things, I think an actual discussion of the basis for the unhappiness would be a lot more productive.

Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #25 on: Sat Dec 30, 2006 - 11:47:05 »
Either that, or they knew that there was no possible way their father would EVER understand what was causing them pain -- so they sucked it up, shut it down, squelched themselves inside, and trudged along ahead in life. 

I'm not talking about all parents, all children, and every situation. I'm talking about My children. I knew what the problem was. They wanted something they couldn't have and like ALL children would cry about it. Too many parents will give in to their wants to shut them up. I don't believe in giving in to a child's every desire. That's why too many children have no respect for their weak, lenient parents who are more concerned with being their friend than their parent. Before you ask, I have two grown daughters from whom I got a lot of hugs and kisses when they were little and even after they grew up. We live in separate states, and I'm not able to see them or my grandkids.

I have a nephew who is in prison because he was given everything he demanded, and I mean DEMANDED. Even when he was old enough to do things for himself, he would tell his parents what he wanted them to do, and they would do it. His parents waited on him hand and foot and never denied him anything. He grew up not knowing how to do anything for himself other than take and never give.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #26 on: Sat Dec 30, 2006 - 13:40:45 »
I wonder if that was less of a problem in the "Way Back When".

I mean, far enough back that an average person HAD to work if they wanted to eat.

Now, even a person who has good intentions about not being soft and self-centered gets fewer challenges thrown at him to make him clear-eyed.  We live in such a push-button world, in the West anyway.

My kids don't have to do rock-bottom-basic stuff like grow their own food, but I hope over the years I've put them in enough gardens and rabbitries and chicken yards, and sent them up enough trees after mushrooms, that they have some idea how to survive if they need to.

Maybe I am idealizing things the way they once were, but it just seems like as time goes on it's easier to be self-centered.  Am I totally out of touch with reality here?

Offline memmy

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #27 on: Sun Dec 31, 2006 - 19:09:19 »
This is something we are dealing with right now along with my daughter and her 2 year old.

Babies are conditioned to cry as their means of communication, as to say they are hungry. tired, belly aches, or sometimes feeling in need of some affection as well.

When they are almost to the point of being able to communicate with words, we begin to start punishing them for crying because we don't want to "look bad" to so and so at church, in the store, etc. I stress almost able to communicate. Many times, we can't understand what they are saying yet.

Heck, some of us adults get grumpy when we are hungry, if we skip a meal, are tired, or are not feeling well, and can lash out in grumpiness too. The thing is, by then, we usually know what our problem stims from. As small toddlers, they haven't quite gotten to the point of understanding those basic needs, and how to communicate them yet either.
It's a tough life for a toddler, in between being tended to for their needs by crying and to the point of being able to be understood through verbal skills.

Tough life for those 2 year olds. No wonder we call them "the terrible twos".

Blessings, Memmy

Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #28 on: Sun Dec 31, 2006 - 22:16:17 »
This is something we are dealing with right now along with my daughter and her 2 year old.

Babies are conditioned to cry as their means of communication, as to say they are hungry. tired, belly aches, or sometimes feeling in need of some affection as well.

When they are almost to the point of being able to communicate with words, we begin to start punishing them for crying because we don't want to "look bad" to so and so at church, in the store, etc. I stress almost able to communicate. Many times, we can't understand what they are saying yet.

Heck, some of us adults get grumpy when we are hungry, if we skip a meal, are tired, or are not feeling well, and can lash out in grumpiness too. The thing is, by then, we usually know what our problem stims from. As small toddlers, they haven't quite gotten to the point of understanding those basic needs, and how to communicate them yet either.
It's a tough life for a toddler, in between being tended to for their needs by crying and to the point of being able to be understood through verbal skills.

Tough life for those 2 year olds. No wonder we call them "the terrible twos".

Blessings, Memmy

I have spanked my daughter for "crying."  In fact, I have this very day.  But she makes the "terrible two's" seem like serenity.

Offline Sherman Nobles

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #29 on: Mon Jan 22, 2007 - 10:53:29 »
I have 4 children, 17, 14, 6, and 2  and each one of them is very different, requiring different mixtures of types of discipline. My 14 year old required the most % of corporeal punishment to date, but his and my relationship are very good. And there is a big difference between abuse and corporeal punishment. In fact, I often gage how hard my swats are, with a belt or switch, by hitting my own leg. 

By the way, I've also taken the spanking for my kids. I ususally do that once in their early teens, to teach them that I love them enough to take their beating, if it would do them any good.  The way I do this, is for a series of oppropriate actions and attitudes, I take them to their room for an official spanking. I go in, have them bend over, and proceed to spank my leg far worse than I've ever spanked their behind. When it's over, I explain to them my love for them and that I would take all of their spankings if I believed it would do them good. But that I don't because they have got to learn to respect people, rules, and authority.

I also tell my children that I love them the same, that's why I treat them each so differently.  I do my best to treat them based upon their own make-up.

Blessings,
Sherman

Offline Adrian

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #30 on: Thu Feb 01, 2007 - 20:56:06 »
Spank me, please

Social psychologists and financial analysts continue to look for the critical personal characteristics that lead a person to be a CEO or successful entrepreneur. Much to the dismay of child psychologists, there is one thing they all seem to have in common.

As children, they were paddled, belted, switched or swatted.

The frustrated child psychologists wince at such a finding and warn that spanking “slows mental development and hinders achievement.” Of course they are confident that a corrective spanking opens the door to physical abuse and permanent emotional scaring.

However, it appears that a smack here and there is a part of every CEO’s history. USA Today interviewed CEOs over a three month period and could not find a single one that had been spared a spanking now and then as a child. And those business leaders tend to express more appreciation for their parents than those from correction-free households.

Sara Blakely says she was "spanked and spanked often," so much that she would wear all of her days-of-the-week underwear at the same time to soften the blow. Today, she is the founder and owner of a women's undergarment manufacturer that has passed $100 million in retail sales this year. Blakely says she thought of a name for her company while sitting in Atlanta traffic. It's a name that nobody seems to forget. Spanx. Now there's a case study that will drive a Freudian psychoanalyst crazy.

Full Story

That good ole' Biblical wisdom.


Corporations draw attention from the small business, thus leaving said small business to rot in bankruptcy. It's a cold-hearted way of doing business if you ask me. I like to use the cancer analogy. Stealing nutrients from healthy cells in an egotistical, sociopathic way. Eventually killing the entire body. How decieving of those CEOs to do that to people. Especially Nike, moving to Indonesia where they only have to pay their workers 2 cents a day, leaving American workers unemployed, just to make a few extra bucks. Which they obviously don't need. That doesn't seem very Christian. More Satanic. Self righteous and justified only in greed.
If you're going to justify spanking with examples of succesful people, don't use the avarice dwelling, demeening, business *******.
« Last Edit: Thu Feb 01, 2007 - 20:59:44 by jmg3rd »

Offline memmy

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #31 on: Thu Feb 01, 2007 - 21:08:44 »
Please watch your choice of words Adrian.

Don't forget this is a Christian board, ok?

You seem very bitter about this matter.

I believe the point was that these CEOs have grown up to be self disciplined people now. I don't believe they are are so evil, as you seem to portray them. Some, no doubt are, but you find that in all walks of life, no matter where you look around.

That's why we need Jesus.

Blessings, Memmy

Offline Adrian

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #32 on: Thu Feb 01, 2007 - 21:45:08 »
Please watch your choice of words Adrian.

Don't forget this is a Christian board, ok?

You seem very bitter about this matter.

I believe the point was that these CEOs have grown up to be self disciplined people now. I don't believe they are are so evil, as you seem to portray them. Some, no doubt are, but you find that in all walks of life, no matter where you look around.

That's why we need Jesus.

Blessings, Memmy
Selfishly taking one's business to idiotic measures by competively trying to create an unnecessary monopoly, despite the downfall of fellow companies, in order to get an uncomprehensible amount of cash that is completely supererogatory is not "self-discipline". Quite the opposite on the contrary. Especially when one person is taking all that money when the US is over 8 billion dollars in debt.

And when does someone have to be a CEO to be succesful to begin with? It's obviously not the correct choice for everyone. There are many other opportunities in "lesser" jobs that are just as, perhaps more satisfying.

Offline Adrian

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #33 on: Thu Feb 01, 2007 - 21:54:03 »
While your points on CEO's and business certainly have merit,From what I understand, this article and discussion is about spanking and discipline in the family. Let's try to keep the thread on topic.

Thanks!  ::smile::

I was trying to point out that using CEOs as an example of succesful "spanked" people was not the best idea.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #34 on: Fri Feb 02, 2007 - 05:43:19 »
Um... Adrian?  Ever thought of kidnapping and torturing CEO's?

 

     
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