I have 4 children, 17, 14, 6, and 2 and each one of them is very different, requiring different mixtures of types of discipline. My 14 year old required the most % of corporeal punishment to date, but his and my relationship are very good. And there is a big difference between abuse and corporeal punishment. In fact, I often gage how hard my swats are, with a belt or switch, by hitting my own leg.
By the way, I've also taken the spanking for my kids. I ususally do that once in their early teens, to teach them that I love them enough to take their beating, if it would do them any good. The way I do this, is for a series of oppropriate actions and attitudes, I take them to their room for an official spanking. I go in, have them bend over, and proceed to spank my leg far worse than I've ever spanked their behind. When it's over, I explain to them my love for them and that I would take all of their spankings if I believed it would do them good. But that I don't because they have got to learn to respect people, rules, and authority.
I also tell my children that I love them the same, that's why I treat them each so differently. I do my best to treat them based upon their own make-up.