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Author Topic: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!  (Read 107008 times)

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k-pappy

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #210 on: Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 19:41:33 »
I have spanked all of my kids.  I have also yelled at them and put them in a corner.

I have received so many comments from people about how well behaved my kids are.

And guess what?  My kids still love me even though they were spanked.  When my plane landed at midnight, and left the terminal my two boys ran, yes ran up to me and nearly knocked me over with their hugs.

Frankly that's all I care about...my kids.  I will raise them as I see fit and hope they turn out well.  So far they are doing well.

In Christ,
KP

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #210 on: Fri Oct 30, 2009 - 19:41:33 »

Offline lightshineon

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #211 on: Sun Nov 01, 2009 - 18:18:04 »
I have spanked all of my kids.  I have also yelled at them and put them in a corner.

I have received so many comments from people about how well behaved my kids are.

And guess what?  My kids still love me even though they were spanked.  When my plane landed at midnight, and left the terminal my two boys ran, yes ran up to me and nearly knocked me over with their hugs.

Frankly that's all I care about...my kids.  I will raise them as I see fit and hope they turn out well.  So far they are doing well.

 Oh, I am sure they were so glad to see you, and that touched my heart.

In Christ,
KP

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #211 on: Sun Nov 01, 2009 - 18:18:04 »

Offline JohnDB

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #212 on: Mon Nov 02, 2009 - 06:06:58 »
I have seen parents that are constantly spanking their children...and hollering at them to behave...and it doesn't seem to do any good...they are still rotten to the core.

Somewhere along the line the parent's or children just didn't connect....no clue as to why.

All I do know is about my son...rather too truthful at times (if such a thing can be said)
And usually well behaved and teachable.

(he has his moments like most children)

The only time corporal punishment was ever used was when he was willfully defiant. Other than that usually redirection or making him think/realize about the consequences of his actions was enough.


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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #212 on: Mon Nov 02, 2009 - 06:06:58 »

Offline IloveJesus

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #213 on: Sun Nov 15, 2009 - 19:40:36 »
Does it say anywhere in the bible that you should spank your kids? I'm not arguing with anyone I'm just curious.

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #213 on: Sun Nov 15, 2009 - 19:40:36 »

Offline antheia187

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #214 on: Wed Nov 25, 2009 - 09:07:44 »
My mom, has its own way of disciplining us, she never spank her children. She would always say, that it would be better to talk to us, about the wrong things we've done.  She generously explains everything to help us understand that we should not be doing those things.

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #214 on: Wed Nov 25, 2009 - 09:07:44 »



Offline walker starr

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #215 on: Wed Nov 25, 2009 - 09:41:11 »



   Book of Proverbs mentions spanking I don't recalL the verse but its in there.
   STATED THUSLY: hE THAT SPARETH THE ROD,SPOILETH THE CHILD.    ::smile::

Offline faithlady59

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #216 on: Wed Nov 25, 2009 - 11:28:39 »
I hate that I can't spank my child when I need to (i.e., in public). He's only 3, and a delayed spanking at this age is simply not effective. It doesn't take much, either - one light swat and his heart is absolutely broken. I just don't dare do it in public, except at church.
IF you spank a child in public some do gooder will callthe police and report you for "Child abuse" which  I think is just wrong.
Faithlady

Offline zoonance

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #217 on: Fri Dec 25, 2009 - 17:45:27 »



   Book of Proverbs mentions spanking I don't recalL the verse but its in there.
   STATED THUSLY: hE THAT SPARETH THE ROD,SPOILETH THE CHILD.    ::smile::


Only rods are authorized.   Or     

That is Old Testament - God has become a christian now (I do wonder how non OTers can justify using this verse as if it were still relevant today but can't see the value in IM verses.....)   

Offline IamStefanie

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #218 on: Sat Dec 26, 2009 - 21:34:49 »
From the bible version that I'm reading, it mentions the 'rod'. Proverbs 29:15 - A rod and a reprimand impart wisdom, but children left to themselves disgrace their mother.
Proverbs 29:17 - Discipline your children, and they will give you peace: they will bring you the delights you desire.
Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold discipline from your children; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.

This is why reading the entire word of God is so important. I have not read the entire bible from Genesis to Revelations, but I have read a good bit of it and while I believe (from what I have read and studied) physically disciplining your child is ok, there is also self-control and love, which has to be included in all forms of discipline. We should not spank our children out of anger, but out of love, because we want them to be better people. I remember, thinking 'now how can I physically discipline my son' if I'm not angry. Because usually, by the time I've calmed down, I don't want to spank. But I've also realized that a spanking (or as well call it around here, 'whoopin', LOL) is good for him. I don't believe in embarrassment or abuse, but I do know that all children born into sin and we as parents must show them the way to go. And when I child knows better, they should do better. Plain and simple. And if they continue to act out, a whoopin wont hurt them. When I child sees that he or she can get away with whatever they want, they just may continue to do it (shoot, we as adults are like that too with our Father (in Heaven) - but praise God He is a lot more patient with us)).

Now on the other hand, every parent has their own strategy. Some choose to spank, some dont. But discipline IS needed. Respect is required. If we let our children do whatever we want to do just to spare their feelings, then what kind of people will they be when they have to face this world without the assistance of mom and dad?? If a child uses bad language, don't laugh, do something about it. If a child goes around hitting on others 'just because' nip it in the bud. God has made us parents for a reason, and if we don't know what to do, he is there every step of the way to help us and guide us through. Praise God!!!



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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #218 on: Sat Dec 26, 2009 - 21:34:49 »

Offline vonny

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #219 on: Wed Jan 13, 2010 - 18:14:12 »
I do spank, and I believe it's biblical if done in the spirit of loving correction, not angry retribution for your ego having been insulted.

There are six kids in my house, and all of them are different in their temperament and response to correction.Spanking is necessary sometimes for a couple of them, and more often for two in particular.


Offline Britt333

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #220 on: Fri Jan 15, 2010 - 16:07:58 »
I can definatley say I wouldn't be in the spot I am if my parents hadn't spanked me a bit...... It is a good thing... nothing comes from no punishment!
hahaha that sounds morbid
 ::crackup::

Offline faithlady59

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #221 on: Fri Jan 15, 2010 - 19:45:46 »
HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

Spanking is not beating a kid up.  Spanking is not wrong.  When done right, it is the best deterrent to violence and it instills respect for authority.  We are living in a world devoid of discipline and a lack of respect for authority.
No spanking is not wrong.  kids need to be spanked in order to help them learn not to behave a certain way
Faithlady

debra

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #222 on: Wed Mar 03, 2010 - 23:50:19 »
I have not read all the responses as the thread is long.

I would like to share my personal experience.  I am middle aged now. I grew up in a home where my parents didn't care what we kids did. We came and went as we pleased, did what we wanted, had no love, no boundries, and raised ourselves.

As a child, I wanted my parents to love me, set boundaries, and set consequences for misbehavior.

I wish my parents had set limits and given me a spanking when I needed it. I grew up feeling (to this day) that nobody card about me . I  tried to get into trouble, at home, school, testing to see if even one adult would take me aside, explain why I needed punishment, and followed through with my needed discipline. Not one ever did.

I saw other children with loving parents who set limits and enforced them. I wanted that.

Now, as an old person, never having been loved and cared enough to discipline me, I feel worthless.

As a child, I knew I needed a spanking. I secretly wanted someone, anyone, to take me into their love and teach me, love me, and spank me when i so often needed it.

I tell this now to you young parents because kids need boundaries and loving discipline. They want it. A spanking for misbehavior also clears their conscious.

Love your kids, spank them in love, and they will grow up knowing they were loved and safe.

Offline phoebe

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #223 on: Thu Mar 04, 2010 - 11:45:12 »
What do you do if you have a child with no issues, no behavioral or discipline problems?  Just a good, kind, loving kid.  Do you have to spank them so they will know they are loved, safe, well-behaved (even though they already are), so they will learn (what they seem to already know)?  Is he now spoiled because I didn't use a rod on him w/o cause?


Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #224 on: Thu Mar 04, 2010 - 21:07:32 »
You go by results.  You got good fruit?  Then, your way was perfect for your kid.  Unless he grew up well in spite of your way.  I figure those who turn out well sometimes do it in spite of the imperfections of their parents.

Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #225 on: Thu Mar 04, 2010 - 22:09:51 »
What do you do if you have a child with no issues, no behavioral or discipline problems?  Just a good, kind, loving kid.  Do you have to spank them so they will know they are loved, safe, well-behaved (even though they already are), so they will learn (what they seem to already know)?  Is he now spoiled because I didn't use a rod on him w/o cause?



Do they make kids like that?  I know I don't have any.

son of God

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #226 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 04:11:05 »
Do they make kids like that?  I know I don't have any.

I have one.  Melissa.  16 years old.  Spanked once as a toddler.  Only once.  A word to her is very sufficient.  I could count on one hand the times that she hasn't had alacrity.  It's just crazy.  But really, really nice.

Rachel, 14, has been spanked about 4 or 5 times max.  No bad attitudes there, either.  Just today I had to tell her twice to do something, as she had forgotten to do it the first time, and I was shocked.  My wife looked at me, and was equally surprised.  Haven't seen her pout since she was about 4 or 5.

Stephen, 11, is very much just like Rachel.  

Funny thing is, Donald, 18, is the one that needs to be told a number of times about almost everything.  They are far from perfect.  We are constantly training and teaching and correcting little things here and there.

Bad attitudes do not exist except in our youngest, Nathan, who is 2.5 years old.  Just the other day I had the talk with my wife about her not disciplining him as she should, and he was a brat, throwing fits, and finally she responded in sincerity and purity, and changed.  The next day, she was a different woman, like she had been with the first 4 kids.  In the three days since that talk, everyone has seen the difference in Nathan.  He hasn't thrown a fit at all today.  And has been happy almost the whole time.

Joseph, our Downs, 9, is totally different.  He hasn't been obeying well, either, but not throwing fits like Nathan was.  My wife changed, and Joseph has been very prompt and happy in obeying for two days now -- it only took him one day to change, and completely so.  It's just amazing.

I can say before God, that I've only once seen a child of mine be angry.  One child.  One time.

Maybe God has gifted me for raising kids.  My wife says so, but I don't see it.  I see it as God doing all of it.  I am nothing: if gifted in it, then that gift is from God.  Totally.  So no matter how you cut it, I'm nothing.

They never fight.  Arguments?  You'll look a long, long time to see even a mild one.

People constantly state how incredible our kids are.  God has done it.  He had to, for my wife and I had much, much strife in our marriage for many years.  God did it all in our kids.  Fortunately!  He did it despite us.

God has blessed us with incredible children.  It's almost too good to be true.

I'm glad that we labor over little things.  Very glad.

But we sure are happy that they're ours!

We were up until after 10 tonight, playing fast UNO, and laughing so hard it hurt.  We have lots of fun together.  Our weekends are basically playing games and having lots of fun together.  The game really doesn't matter: we have a ton of fun that really has nothing to do with the game that we're playing -- we are having fun together, because of who are are with each other.  We're just basically looking for any excuse to have more fun together.  I'm so blessed, it's most amazing.

Just this afternoon we had a mom come and ask us how to discipline children to have them so "perfect".  Our response?  Instant discipline, steady and constant, given with instruction as to the heart and attitudes, and why it was given, and what it is to facilitate in them.  And our discipline is always temporary, no matter the form, for when the child shows acceptable progress, the discipline is immediately removed.  We never punish, but always discipline.  They don't have to exhibit total victory -- just heart change and progress, and it is immediately lifted.  If it isn't lifted immediately, then it has just become thoroughly counterproductive in them, and it will be strained against.  And because we are the ones that initiated it, they will then strain against us.  We are to guide the heart and mind: we cannot change it or manipulate it or break it without destroying it.  God is to break the spirit, and He will build it completely new in Him.  We just faciliitate their openness to that from Him.

They see their Dad's heart break as he reads God's word and the tears roll down his cheeks.  They see Dad's eyes light up when he speaks of sharing Christ with the lost: his excitement is contagious.  They see Dad's anger against sin, and they have a holy fear of God and want no part of sinning.  They see God speak and work through their Dad all the time, and they long to have the same thing themselves with God.  And God is starting to do it in the oldest.  It just blows me away to see him witnessing on the internet as he plays games.  Just incredible.  They receive constant tenderness, coupled with unwavering firmness against sin.  And they love it all.  They hear their Dad's disgust with those who profess, but live in sin and insist on negating the word of God.  They see their Dad's endless gentleness with the new and young in Christ, and total lack of patience with those who ought to be mature in Him.

They see their Mom love their Dad, and support him and serve him.  They see the love and tenderness that Dad constantly showers on their Mom.  They see the joy of their Mom as she walks in inner beauty that the women of old had, calling their husband "Lord".  They see Mom light up when Dad gets home, and it's contagious: the kids rush out the door to greet their Dad.  My 18 year old son still calls me daddy -- in front of everyone, even at the college.  I guess that there's no stiffling love and contentment and joy, is there?

They see day spend up to 8 hours a day in the Word, simply because of love for God and His word: he hungers and thirst for it, like the Psalmist wrote.  So they each have an Ipod, and they listen to the Word while they do chores or their evening janitorial contract.  And they listen to it during quiet time.  And they will get up and read the word in the morning at 6, even if Dad and Momd sleep in, and then they'll speak of what they read and how it was cool.

They complain when we quite reading after a few chapters in Leviticus, because it just so exciting to them.  It was a serious bore and very unpleasant to me when I was growing up.  What a difference the heart of the parents makes!  The kids catch what the parents have, it seems.  Or as the adage goes, "the fruit falls close to the tree".

How will they turn out in adulthood?  God only knows.  But they are His, not mine.  I'm just the tutor until they walk fully with the Teacher Himself, showing that they need Him completely.  What they will each do with that, I don't know.  It will break my heart if they don't walk with God, but I'm not naive enough to assume that any of them will.  As God said in Isaiah about the children of Israel, that He'd been the perfect father, and that He had done all that was possible to do, and yet they still rebelled against Him.  And I've made lost of mistakes with them, and given numerous apologies to them.  Why God has done such a wonderful thing in my children, I probably will never know.  

But my wife and I are very, very thankful for what He has done.  It's amazing to see.  To God alone be the glory!

Joseph, the Down's, I'm sure has been given just so that we wouldn't think that parenting is a breeze.  My wife and I actually believe this.  And yes, now you all know beyond a doubt that I'm a wacko and ungodly.  I'm sure that some don't believe what I'm posting here.  O well.

A few years ago I did a CD audio set on parenting, but I no longer give it out.  Why?  Parenting is based solely upon the heart/soul state of the parent and that is conveyed to the child.  It is an unpleasant message that few want to hear.  So it collects dust.  It's much more palatable to accept 5 steps or 7 principles or whatever, for having "good" kids.  Or as Bill Gothard states, we must do 27 things for them to turn out godly.  Sorry, suckers, if you mess up on one of them: there's no guarantee then.  What rubbish!  Kind of funny how no one has been able to keep even ten commandments without their soul first being born of God, but we can believe that we need to do 27 things, count that, 27 of them for our kids to turn out for God.  All 27 of them.  It's just amazing the rubbish that people will believe.

Funny thing is, the fat lady that stayed with us had her baby two weeks ago, and I had sat down with her a month ago and told her that she was fat, lazy, a slob, and so selfish and arrogant and wicked.  That she needed to repent.  And I told her this for half an hour.

She was raised in a "Christian" family.  Her dad is still a pastor.  She's 30.  Ya know what?  A few days after that, she started getting up and having breakfast with us at 6 AM, and participating in the bible reading.  She started asking questions like, "How do I repent?  I've tried, and nothing seems to work?"  The state shipped her back to Oregon.  Her parole officer will not let her leave the state -- and only if she comes to live with us again.  They're working on the paper work.  She doesn't want to live anywhere but with us.  She is working on getting the state to grant us a form of guardianship over her (she's a mental patient), so that she can live with us and learn more about God.  Cool.

She has stated that we are the only people that have ever shown true love for her.

She also stated that she is not willing to let her baby be adopted by anyone but us.  And if we did that, she'd be willing to live somewhere else, but could we teach her about God?  She was also demon possessed when she came here.  This stuff is "chump change" for God -- it's a piece of cake!  We are just used by Him to prompt a little bit of it in others.  What a privilege!

God does the work.  He's been working since the very beginning, just as Christ stated.  It's amazing to see.  God alone is worthy of glory and honor and praise, for it is all of Him.

Some mock us for these things, and say that we are ungodly, or that we are off the deep end.  Or that I'm out of touch and on a rampage.  We've heard it all before I ever got on this forum.  Nothing new here.

I will receive correction from others.  I've needed it.  I'm still growing in Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior, learning more and more how to more properly wield this incredible, uncontainable Spirit that I've recieved without measure -- for the glory of God amongst a wicked and perverse generation in the church.  Like everything else, one needs to grow into maturity in this, too.  

"By their fruits you shall know them."

The fruits condemn many.  If I were to state as Paul did, "follow my example in these things", I'd be written off completely, if I haven't been already by most here.  I don't have an "apostle's badge".  Whatever that is.  I'm "not inspired".  I hate sin and get angry over it and confront people over it.  I mock them.  I chide them.  I encourage some.  I thank some.  I rebuke some.  I exhort some.  I spur others.  I sharply rebuke others.  Even by name.  And I use scriture, too.

I am taught by others.  Some threads I really enjoy reading and not posting at all, but learning from others.  When learning, keep the mouth shut so that the eyes and ears and mind will be open, was what I was taught as a kid.

"By their fruits you shall know them."  As Paul stated, I'm not boasting, but I'm forced to present some of the things in my life for others to see that God does lead me, and use me, for many in life to see.  And just like for Paul, why must this be done?  I'm discredited by what I write against sin and the sinners who commit the sin.  My wrtings are harsh they say.  Yes, they are.  But in person I come accross as weak, they say.  Some have even stated this to my face.  Kind of funny, but that was said about someone else.  A guy in the NT.  And like him, in my defense, I've been forced into exhibiting cleary the things in my life as vindication.

But now I've been preaching and "railing" yet again.  Sorry.  I can't help it, I guess.

And Phoebe, if you thought that your post would create "problems" or show a problem with the main of the threads which speak of spanking and corporeal discipline, or give grounds for reconsidering or accepting your position, you were very mistaken.  It must be scripturally based.  It wasn't.  Hypothetical stuff is for the birds.  How many angels can dance on the head of a pin is entirely useless.   Your "question" was of the same caliber.  Or arguing for the sake of arguing is of no benefit to anyone, either.

For one who is so adamant in their beliefs, I would expect a little more substance.  Scritpure would suffice.

Offline janine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #227 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 08:05:52 »
No doubt you apply many wonderful Bible-based principles in raising your kids, s.o.G, but I also figure God doesn't challenge just anybody with the toughest brood.

Who sits you down and tells you when you're backsliding in parental discipline, or getting lazy and self-centered?  Is there anyone?  Or do you simply never sin in these ways?

son of God

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #228 on: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 18:48:41 »
No doubt you apply many wonderful Bible-based principles in raising your kids, s.o.G, but I also figure God doesn't challenge just anybody with the toughest brood.

Who sits you down and tells you when you're backsliding in parental discipline, or getting lazy and self-centered?  Is there anyone?  Or do you simply never sin in these ways?

Nobody.  Except the Spirit.

And we see so many others, and are cognizant of these things that they are going through and learn and apply BEFORE we get to the same state they do.  This is why the scriptures state to look to those who have it together as an example, and why it states that those who sin and err are to be rebuked openly before all that the rest might fear and learn.  In so many ways it seems that we have been taught to not do these very things.  And it shows.  Just look at children behaviors!  And the parents, too.

I can understand when a person with lying talks with another person who has a problem with lying, and they try to help each other in it.  But not all are liars, right?  Likewise, not all parents get lazy and self-centered.  And yes, the two liars can talk and try to help each other, but really, who would be most profitable for a liar to spend time with for insight or fellowship -- another struggling liar or someone who has no problems with lying?

I'm concerned that we are conditioned to believe that there is virtually no one who basically has their life together as a whole.  It's sad.

And no, he doesn't challenge just anybody with the toughest brood.  That's why when I worked with adult Downs years ago, and with problem children, I was always given the worst: I was the only one that could handle them.  I don't know why.  They just smartened up around me.  When I worked in the oilfield, the tough guys would come right out and state that they were going to make me sin.  That they would beat the stuffins out of me.  But every time, they were powerless and feared me.  When I lived where drunks were, I was the one asked to deal with them.  Even when they would try to run people over in their cars.  For some reason, they would always come around to my take on things and go away.

The same is true with nature.  I go to a hive of bees, open it up, and grab a handful of bees.  Without getting stung.  And with bears.  I've tried many times to swat them, but they always run away when I'm about 5 feet away and swing forward to hit them.  I used to chase them out of the blueberry patch -- I wanted the blueberries more than they did.  I've chased two skunks at a time down the road.   They don't take time to spray, but run for their lives as I chase them with a pitchfork or whatever implement is ready at hand.  They fear me.  In Christ we are at the very top of the ladder.  Do we not know that we will judge angels?  Even angels are at our beck and call.  The centurion understood this.  Why don't we?  He had godly faith.  I'm concerned about ours.

God created man at the top of the ladder.  And those who are born of God, have dominion over all things.  Nature fears and respects them.  This is natural.  I consider it normal.  Nobody else does.  Why not?

I consider kids that are angry to be abnormal.  Kids that hate their parents is terribly abnormal.  There's just so much that we consider normal, which is very, very backwards.    It's like an ad that I saw the other day about parenting.  It went something like this: "Hearing the words 'I hate you' and knowing that you're doing something right".  That is sheer stupidity.  When your kid is telling you that they hate you, you are NOT doing something right!  So, if they say that they love you, you're doing something WRONG?  As the scriptures state, the wicked call good evil, and evil good.

Are you upset with me over this?

Is it too good to be true?

Or can anyone be this way with their kids?

btw, we just got in from a few hour walk in the woods with the kids.  Lot's of fun.  They have our heart.  We have theirs.  That's what it's all about.  If you don't have theirs, it's your fault.  You they don't have yours, it's your fault.  

Too many people give their opinion on the latest thing that Warren Buffet might be doing, yet they are paupers compared to him.  Funny, how they seem to know so much about whether he is making the best choices or not, or how they know and can agree that he is, as if they have knowlege about any of it and the whys of it all.  

The same things happens with parenting.  Or walking in spiritual vicotry.  Or having the power of God doing many miracles and wonders through a person.  Almost nobody in the church has these things.  And yet they besmirch me for having it.  

It shows the heart and why they have the fruit that they do, right?

Did you not see in my previous post that we've had issues to deal with in two of our kids, because we'd bombed it?
« Last Edit: Sat Mar 06, 2010 - 18:56:53 by son of God »

Offline phoebe

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #229 on: Wed Mar 10, 2010 - 09:56:02 »
What do you do if you have a child with no issues, no behavioral or discipline problems?  Just a good, kind, loving kid.  Do you have to spank them so they will know they are loved, safe, well-behaved (even though they already are), so they will learn (what they seem to already know)?  Is he now spoiled because I didn't use a rod on him w/o cause?



Do they make kids like that?  I know I don't have any.

Yes, there are some.

I also have one that called for spankings nearly every Sunday.  I believe Satan uses our children to create chaos on Sundays.  My daughter is the reason I came up with rules-to-spank-by for myself.

Both of them have grown into fine young adults.

Offline PDeverit

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #230 on: Wed Mar 10, 2010 - 19:50:36 »
People used to think it was necessary to "spank" adult members of the community, military trainees, and prisoners. In some countries they still do. In our country, it is considered sexual battery if a person over the age of 18 is "spanked", but only if over the age of 18.

For one thing, because the buttocks are so close to the genitals and so multiply linked to sexual nerve centers, striking them can trigger powerful and involuntary sexual stimulus in some people. There are numerous physiological ways in which it can be sexually abusive, but I won't list them all here. One can use the resources I've posted if they want to learn more.

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:

Child buttock-battering (euphemistically labeled "spanking","swatting","switching","smacking", "paddling",or other cute-sounding names) for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.

Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.

I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.

There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:

Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,

The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,

NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.

Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit the website of Parents and Teachers Against Violence In Education at www.nospank.net.

Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:

American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
American Psychological Association,
Center For Effective Discipline,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.

In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
 

Offline phoebe

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #231 on: Wed Mar 10, 2010 - 20:45:43 »
...
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
 

Nor should they.  Ever.   



son of God

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #232 on: Wed Mar 10, 2010 - 22:26:17 »
...
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
 

Nor should they.  Ever.   




I agree completely.  If it is ratified, it supercedes US law.  The only law that it wouldn't supercede is the constitution.

And it takes the right of parenting, even for choosing to raise a child in your own beliefs, away from the parent, making it illegal.  If completely and legally makes children the responsibility of the state, and gives the state the rights to raise the child as it sees fit.  The parents merely feed and clothe and house the child for the state. 

Fairly nasty document that the US refused to sign. 

Offline ela

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #233 on: Thu Apr 01, 2010 - 00:54:52 »
As well as having been a mom, I have also worked with children as a preschool teacher, nanny and in various other capacities for over 30 yrs. I have found that the answer is not with the techniques I use ~ spankings, timeouts, sterner voice, or etc. These may curb behaviors...out of not wanting to feel the pain or discomfort again...but they rarely go any farther then that.

Discipline is more, much more then getting a kid to stop behaviors.
It should be about --

*An ongoing process of drawing child and caregiver closer together, because the child experiences the caregivers personal consistent integrity, instead of inanimate techniques that have no integrity or love in themselves at all...... ----><((meaning; caregiver backs up their words everytime, which gives the child a real reason to begin trusting the caregiver and therefore minding him/her much more naturally. Again, the child starts minding better because of the caregivers consistant integrity and NOT because of harsher or better techniques. In fact I have seen kids begin minding very quickly after realizing "I meant my words" even tho the penalty was usually not terribly  uncomfortable. Children respond well to someone who shows consistant-confident strength, as they know instinctively that they need to be taken care of by someone stronger then they are so they have security and their needs met....in fact many kids will act out just to see what you, their caregiver, is made of. In fact, I have seen kids who did not feel as though they had a strong caregiver "take over" essentially (bossy, bullying, acting out, over-responsible and etc...), as they instinctively know that someone has to be in charge!!!!))>.

* Another reason for the caregiver to depend on themselves (their integrity) instead of inanimate techniques is because their consistent integrity does not only help children mind....but the trust that they begin giving you is far reaching....as they will more likely come to you later in life as they know you are a person they can connect to no matter what and that you ARE one to be trusted. ALSO, which is just as important,  because you have always meant your words - they will truly believe you when ever you tell them you love them...and this love will be there with them even when you are not. It is a love with staying power...it is a God-kind of love!

*Helping children see that their behaviors affect others, and that the situation is sad not just because they got caught. (Conscience development)  

>>>>>>>>>>>>> There was a study done a few yrs ago in a couple of prisons to find out IF childhood abuse was the main reason for most incarcerations. What they found however, was that abuse was not typical at all among the prisons populations. What they found was that they lacked two things...conscience development and parental concern/involvement=connection. They found that when these "kids" got in trouble that the parents would spank them or yell, or restrict or take things away....but then it would stop there. The parent stayed disconnected from the situation and relied on the form of discipline to do the work of correction...as though the parenting was given over to something outside of themselves--something inanimate..................

                                           (((((This is why the bible says that when WE [The caregiver/parent] do not discipline our children then we are showing them that we hate them. BTW, the rod was something different -- as a Shepherd used their rods, which was to pull the lamb closer...not to beat them...altho they would break a lambs leg if the lamb was one that would consistently run away. Then he would put the lamb around his shoulders when they would have to leave the pasture. The Shepard was very involved in the management of the sheep. He did not relegate this responsibility to something outside of himself...in fact the rod or staff was used as an extension of his arm...so that he could reach to pull a sheep in when they were too far away. In this way the sheep would learn to trust the Shepard to such a degree, that they would never rely on or listen to anyone else but the Shepard!)))))

.......................therefore, instead of getting the idea that the parent loved them and was committed to them and wanted what was best for them...which would have been shown by their involvement and  follow-thru...they only came away with the desire to not get caught.  Because they were not taught that their actions hurt others or that the parents cared...then all the inmates came away with was to be self-centered and then also, to try and avoid trouble. Most of the inmates remember the parents saying things like, "Don't do it again or you'll get it worse"...or, "I know you don't want to get in trouble again, so you'd better shape up!". SO, basically, they were taught and shown that it's all about dodging consequences  and avoiding pain....therefore, they just went about the business of trying not to get caught...because that IS the only "lesson" they learned when "disciplined".

To put this in biblical terms, the law is and was unfeeling, impersonal and all about punishment (pain) as a way of behavior management....however, now, we have an actual Person and His Spirit (that are NOT inanimate) to lead us into right living. Yes, we are disciplined....but it is by God (Who IS love) Himself with His HS as our unction, comforter and guide...and Jesus our Redeemer and Example of how to live. The law is no longer a nursemaid or disciplinarian....because we are directly connected with God Himself and His HS.



Peace! Blessings!
« Last Edit: Thu Apr 01, 2010 - 01:16:07 by ela »

Offline DocLogic77

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #234 on: Tue Jun 22, 2010 - 21:54:28 »
I see zero reason to hit a child unless they don't respond to less physical methods.  I won't let my children run amok and I have never had to hit my kids.  I also don't believe hitting your child is a Biblical principle.  Sparing the rod I believe refers to sparing discipline.  If your child responds to other methods why lay a hand on em?

Offline inhimwearefree12

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #235 on: Wed Jun 23, 2010 - 08:58:50 »
I grew up in a household where my mother did physical discipline, and my father used his words.

My mother used plastic spoons, and belts. Sometimes I would be back slapped with her hand. At one point my mother kind of "lost it" when I was 12. I was playing piano, and she came running downstairs with the belt claiming I was playing too fast (which was misbehaving according to her), and "beat" me with the belt. It was only a few lashes, and left a black and blue welt on my knee. At this point I had, had enough. I had 3 younger siblings, one being a 13 month younger brother who was ADHD. He had been "physically disciplined" multiple times over behaviors that I really think he struggled with mentally. He was a test drug baby, being ripped off of different psychotropic meds, and put on others until they found what worked. The next day I called CPS on my mother, and though she gave me silent treatment for a week, and was extremely mad at me, she never laid a hand on any of her four children again.

My youngest brother, and sister were never "physically beaten." They were grounded, put in time outs, and had loss of things such as computer, games, etc. My sister ended up playing on a world series softball team, and is attending college becoming a dietitian. My brother is still relatively young, 13, and is first chair in his school band, in the advance program, and is pulling straight A's. Both attend church every sunday, and fully believe and live their lives for christ.

My brother who had ADHD and was "physically disciplined" is attending college but struggling. He does not attend church but does believe in God. He frequently partakes in drinking, but I love him very much because I know his past haunts him.

Myself. I am married to a wonderful Jesus worshiping man. I dropped out of college (I attended bible college but I hated the constant bickering especially between the Calvinists and evangelicals). I am returning this fall for nursing.  I work with Abused foster children in a residential therapeutic home. My work does not believe in corporal punishment, and our success rate is high. We have been featured on ABC News for one of the most successful residential homes of foster children in America. We care for level 5 kids, which are extremely tough kids with a ton of unsafe behavior. However, they are loved so much, and are shown how to live a good moral life.

I grew up with Authoritarian parents. I was never explained what I did wrong, or how I could have handled the situation better until I was older around 19. I dealt with a lot of anger management issues growing up because of the discipline my parents used. I was saved at the age of 17, knowing that God would never lose my trust, nor would He ever forsake me. He loves me, even when I do wrong. I always wished my parents would have just talked to me, maybe even show me more praise for my "good" behaviors. But it's in the past now, and after a lot of healing from the Lord (and I mean a lot, I'm still healing to this day) I am able to love my parents very much and I look up to them.

Physical abuse: "Physical abuse is abuse involving contact intended to cause feelings of intimidation, pain, injury, or other physical suffering or bodily harm"
That would describe belting (whippings), using instruments instead of a hand in a calm caring way, etc. This includes switching as well.
No matter how soft, or how caring, using these instruments can and may leave a physical mark on your child. I remember having a few (my mom didn't try to beat the crud out of me), she did it to try to get me controlled. I suffered psychological issues from this.

I think the best parenting is by words. God doesn't kill me, nor physically punish me. He loves me, yearns for me, cares for me, and watches over me. Do I suffer consequences of sin? Yes. But is he always forgiving? Yes.  I don't need to supply scripture because this is what the whole NT is all about! Jesus was whipped, and nailed to a cross for us! Why do I need to do that to my children?

Offline inhimwearefree12

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #236 on: Wed Jun 23, 2010 - 09:00:04 »
I should add, my younger siblings were never touched again because I made that call. Thank God for every day that  I live, that my sister and brother will never be affected the way I was.

Offline celine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #237 on: Tue Jul 13, 2010 - 17:56:32 »
I've been raised in a traditional Catholic household.  Responsible parents will see their task to nurture the  moral and physical development of their children. There is no way that this can be done in my view without at some time resorting to punishment as well as the granting of rewards. Different parents have different views as to what is the most effective form of sanctions. In my view, so long as the rules are humane and clearly communicated, and any punishment for infringement is  reasonable and proportionate and carried out in a spirit of love, nobody can definitively state that one method surpasses another as a universal rule. In fact my parents did believe that a quick, sharp spanking was often the appropriate remedy, though they also use grounding, withdrawal of privileges, extra chores, cancelling allowances etc.

Offline zanaswy

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #238 on: Wed Jul 14, 2010 - 12:32:51 »
This is a great find.   I am glad you shared this with us.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #239 on: Wed Jul 14, 2010 - 16:59:56 »
I see zero reason to hit a child unless they don't respond to less physical methods.  I won't let my children run amok and I have never had to hit my kids.  I also don't believe hitting your child is a Biblical principle.  Sparing the rod I believe refers to sparing discipline.  If your child responds to other methods why lay a hand on em?

  Agree totally. Being firm and using discipline doesnt need to invole hitting /beating/spanking. It involves being consistant and firm when needed. I also agree that the Bible is speaking about good discipline and not about hitting.

Offline Bon Voyage

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #240 on: Wed Jul 14, 2010 - 17:35:01 »
Chosenone,

Since you decided to come back to this topic, I must reiterate my requests for you to provide biblical support for your position.

I don't believe I ever received any.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #241 on: Thu Jul 15, 2010 - 22:02:22 »
Please read the 23rd psalm. The 'rod' here does not refer to a hitting impliment, but a guiding and protecting one. The one verse that I am aware of that some use to justify hitting a child (spare the rod)is the same word that is used in this psalm. The shepherd does not hit his sheep but gently guides them along the path to make sure they dont stray,and protects them also.A good example for us to follow with our own children. Guiding and protecting them.  
psalm 23 v4 amplified
....for you are with me:Your rod (to protect) your staff (to guide) they comfort me.

 My husband was a very sensitive little boy who was beaten with a belt by his mum(a Christian)and even now he is 53, he still clearly remembers instances where this happened and it has affected him a lot. Its makes my blood run cold to even think about it. Horrible.
« Last Edit: Thu Jul 15, 2010 - 22:27:31 by chosenone »

Offline celine

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #242 on: Mon Jul 19, 2010 - 15:29:49 »
I agree that "spare the rod" is quoted out of context. I agree it is  perfectly possible to bring up children excellently without employing physical discipline. I also agree that condoning the use of corporal punishment gives a licence to abusive parents. There is no excuse for inflicting violence upon or striking a child in anger. I can therefore see the strength of the abolitionist cause. I have to reconcile this with my own upbringing where spanking was used in a measured and controlled fashion and reserved for serious offences. There was always fair warning provided of the consequences which would flow from specific misdemeanours and the spankings themselves though unpleasant were completed swiftly and in no way compromised our physical wellbeing.

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #243 on: Mon Jul 19, 2010 - 18:33:21 »
I am always dismayed when I hear people take the absolute stand against spanking because they knew someone who inappropriately disciplined a child. :(  

It also bothers me when, in order to answer for the biblical advice to swat, the verses are said to be taken out of context.  That would mean that any verse that makes us uncomfortable, or that we can't fully understand can be dismissed because "it has been taken out of context."  I don't think this is a wise way to go, honestly.

God used corporal punishment, but on very rare occasions and always because of outright rebellion and defiance displaying strong willed, stiff necked behavior.  It never made Him happy.  That is true of a parent who spanks as well.  

Christ turned over tables and used a whip to drive the money changers out of the temple.  Again, He didn't do this every time the Pharisees ticked Him off, but when it was appropriate and as a last resort, He did use corporal punishment.

My oldest is past the swatting age, but is grounded right now.  He is *the* happiest he has been in a LOOONG time.  I cracked up at him last night and told him he must be the only teenager in the world that is happier after discipline and being grounded.  He grinned and told me it was because he was "free" from having to sneak about and hide things.  It made me think back to when he was of swatting age...he was exactly like that.  He would be an absolute *pill* and nothing would snap him out of it; not time out, not talking to, not toy removal, not loss of Barney or Seasame St., nothing...until I finally had to swat his little bum.  He would physically relax and actually sigh and become his happy little self again.  It reminded me of the verse that has been brought up about God's rod and staff comforting.  My son was comforted by effective discipline then and still is today.  I believe that is what that verse it talking about.  God's discipline comforts us because we are then "free" from having to try and sneak around and hide things from Him. We are comforted when things are out in the open, dealt with correctly and then we are restored to righteousness.


Offline Eagle

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Re: Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!
« Reply #244 on: Mon Jul 19, 2010 - 19:00:30 »
Quote
I see zero reason to hit a child unless they don't respond to less physical methods.  I won't let my children run amok and I have never had to hit my kids.  I also don't believe hitting your child is a Biblical principle.  Sparing the rod I believe refers to sparing discipline.  If your child responds to other methods why lay a hand on em?
Quote
Agree totally. Being firm and using discipline doesnt need to invole hitting /beating/spanking. It involves being consistant and firm when needed. I also agree that the Bible is speaking about good discipline and not about hitting.

Your post surprises me Chosen, most often you take a direct meaning from Scripture.

Pro 23:13  Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

Pro 29:15  The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.

Pro 26:3  A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back.

Pro 22:15  Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
 
Pro 13:24  He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

H7626
שׁבט
shêbeṭ
shay'-bet
From an unused root probably meaning to branch off; a scion, that is, (literally) a stick (for punishing, writing, fighting, ruling, walking, etc.) or (figuratively) a clan: -  X correction, dart, rod, sceptre, staff, tribe.


Deu 21:18  If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
Deu 21:19  Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
Deu 21:20  And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
Deu 21:21  And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

Very harsh words we tend to think of God as a Teddybear. 

Not all kids need a spanking.  My older sister never got a spanking.. I know of one time jack  got  Dads belt for talking disrespect to Mom. Dad had his belt off and wrapped around Jacks legs in a flash. Jack must have been 13…strange jack was never insulting again.  Me I was the ‘Preacher’s kid ‘ of jokes.  I would weigh the value of doing XYZ against a spanking.  Spanking won some lost some.