Spank Me Please Mommy and Daddy!

[admin]

Spank me, please

Social psychologists and financial analysts continue to look for the critical personal characteristics that lead a person to be a CEO or successful entrepreneur. Much to the dismay of child psychologists, there is one thing they all seem to have in common.

As children, they were paddled, belted, switched or swatted.

The frustrated child psychologists wince at such a finding and warn that spanking “slows mental development and hinders achievement.

[mandalee65]

I hate that I can't spank my child when I need to (i.e., in public). He's only 3, and a delayed spanking at this age is simply not effective. It doesn't take much, either - one light swat and his heart is absolutely broken. I just don't dare do it in public, except at church.

[zoonance]

The frustrated child psychologists wince at such a finding and warn that spanking “slows mental development and hinders achievement.

[janine]

They ought to quit looking so hard at the elements that go into raising up a functional, gracious, poised, talented, confident kid -- and look rather at what appears to work for each kid.

I am sure there are kids somewhere that require little or even no physical/corporal punishment in the mix -- but I have never met one.

I have, OTOH, met several kids I found to be obnoxious, out-of-control, who wre raised by parents who never ever ever spanked them.

Then there are the kids who got liberal doses of spanking and swatting and thumping, which might have been misapplied, since the kids were still obnoxious brats.

It's not like there's a secret, inflexible formula.  What works in your household?  What gets you the end result you want in your kids?

[whispering hope]

The secret, for me, was to study each child and figure out what worked best.  We gave a few spankings but mostly a certain tone of voice or a look would render the culprit conscience-stricken enough to "straighten up."  Time-outs and grounding were also effective.  I have cared for children or known children where the only way to make the point was a spanking, but never carried out in anger. 

Whispering Hope

[Bon Voyage]

My wife still needs one now and then.   

[Cliftyman]

I've had to spank a couple times when time-outs wouldn't work.  Sometimes I don't think its that effective for long term correction.  Especially on my young child.  Perhaps when he is 3-5 a spanking might go longer term in helping him remember what to do and what not to do... right now timeouts just seem like better punishment... or putting his toys in timeout seems to work well too.

I was spanked when I was young... I'm moderately successful for my age I guess... 

[DCR]

Discipline should be taylored for the child.  No one method works best for all.

I suspect it depends on the personality of the child.

(But, what do I know... I don't have any kids.  )

[confused and lost]

HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

[Bon Voyage]

HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

Spanking is not beating a kid up.  Spanking is not wrong.  When done right, it is the best deterrent to violence and it instills respect for authority.  We are living in a world devoid of discipline and a lack of respect for authority.

[Weeble]

HOW DARE YOU, i have only just joined this forum and untill now i have agreed with everything you have said untill now. Spanking your child is wrong i teaches them nothing except fear for their perants for the people that are supposed to love and protect them, Put yourself in a childs shoes im 6"3 and wiegh about 196 im sure you are all about my size or smaller or bigger but if i imagine a 12"3 guy who wieghs 400 pounds hitting me well im going to be scared. We can not allow people to hit their children it is unbelievable wrong would it be alright for a man to hit his wife would that teach her something if i kicked my dog would that fair would that show that i cared for it spanking breeds fear spanking builds resentment spanking builds hatred, as i have mentioned two of my friends have tried to commit suicide and i can put my hand on my heart and say that these two were the only that had perants that hit them wait thats a lie, anouther of my friends is beatern by his perants it started with a light smack and now he spends about 7 months of year in hospital but the police wont do a thing do you not understand what giving people that little amount of power does it makes them need more it makes them abuse it...

Well you are confused on this isue.

I was spanked growing up.  It was never done out of anger, and I hated the talk before the spanking worse that the spanking itself.  I have grown up to love and cherish the man and woman who took the time to love me and discipline me.  Besides it's Biblical:

Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.

Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die

[twd]

The problem is that we have lost the distinction between appropriate physical correction and physical abuse, so that the first is assumed by many to be automatically the second.  That is, to use the technical, psychological term, hogwash.

[confused and lost]

I must apolgise for my previous message, as it is plainly veiwable it was writtern in anger as i had just spoken to a friend of mine who had just been released from hospital after a suicide attempt because his dad beat him up. My main issue with your proposal that spanking is right is the fact that when given a small amount of power it is in human nature to try and get more... are you guys not worried that a simple smack could escalate in to something more?

[kalen]

The key is to remember is to discipline our kids (which isn't always "punishment").

[BondServant]

I hate that I can't spank my child when I need to (i.e., in public). He's only 3, and a delayed spanking at this age is simply not effective. It doesn't take much, either - one light swat and his heart is absolutely broken. I just don't dare do it in public, except at church.

Have you tried taking him to a public restroom?  I had to do that with my 2 y/o once, and now I just mention the bathroom and he bucks right up.

Our best form of "discipline" right now is at their bedtime.  Boy my boys are afraid of the dark, so the mere threat of closing their door is enough to make them behave 

KP