What Does She Do?

[VisionQwest]

I have an hypothetical topic. I like to see what others may say on this situation I brainstormed at home in my head. So let's suppose this situation.

There was a single woman working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day and she has a 12 year old daughter.

One day her daughter told  her mother that about 3 months ago she slept with a boy sixteen years old. And now she found out she is pregnant by him and has not since then slept with anyone else.

The mother is single because she also dated some guy for a few months. He left before she had her baby. Now she is going to non-denominational church and her daughter goes sometimes.

In this situation the girl is pregnant what is the mother to do with her? Like does the girl stay in school  or does she have to take a break not to promote the idea of being pregnant at school? She can you know be embarrassed maybe. .

If the mother is single and working how can she help her daughter? Does she equally raise this child or does she have her daughter to put in adoption? Which seems to be better to do?

Doe this girl need to go to classes to learn to have a baby especially at her age?

How can this girl keep being educated without being out of school too much? 

As far as the 16 year old boy what should happen to him?. How much responsibility will be on his part?. Is he supposed to in anyway or his parents support this girls child or there is no law of that age to do so? 

Try your best to answer on this one. Because as a male not thinking like a girl. I don't have many answers. I get this feeling girls may know more on this one. Except those men that are doogie houser doctor type thinking. If you have not seen this show on tv. He is a ten year old kid that works at a real hospital.

[Alan]

Since this scenario is hypothetical, let's suppose another hypothetical where this much thought is placed in teaching youth that sex is first and foremost for the act of procreation, secondly it is to be assumed by those that can be responsible to the first. It's really very disturbing that our youth is taught that "sex is something beautiful that we should all embrace, the consequences can be dealt with later".

[mommydi]

It's a very messy situation that will leave life-long scars no matter which options are taken.

I would think twice about forcing the girl to put the baby up for adoption if she's opposed to it, and here's why-  I knew a young girl who got pregnant, and against her will, her family forced her to give up her baby. MUCH wailing and gnashing of teeth on this young girl's part! So you know what this girl did after she was forced to give up her baby? She went out and got pregnant again and ran away from home - saying no one will take that baby from her. Her life has continued to spiral out of control. The last I heard, her life is a wreck - years later.  IDK if forcing her to give up her baby against her will triggered all this or not, but it sure seemed to have a very negative impact on her and possibly made matters worse.

I know of another family who went through the same thing. Their young daughter got pregnant. She delivered the baby and the whole family helped her raise the child. The bio dad was virtually out of the picture (a 10th grader) and the girl's family preferred him being out of the picture. It worked out well, but she had a large circle of support from family to help her. It wasn't easy for them at all, but it did work out in the end.

[DaveW]

Since this scenario is hypothetical, let's suppose another hypothetical where this much thought is placed in teaching youth that sex is first and foremost for the act of procreation,

I am wondering why you are giving a biological answer instead of a biblical one.

There is a whole book of the Bible devoted to sexual pleasure (Song of Solomon) and not one word is said about procreation.

[Alan]

I am wondering why you are giving a biological answer instead of a biblical one.

There is a whole book of the Bible devoted to sexual pleasure (Song of Solomon) and not one word is said about procreation.

Simply because those verses do not apply to 1) Underaged youths 2) Unwed individuals.

It makes no sense to teach our youth about the pleasures of sex when we are failing at teaching them the primary purpose of sex. It may appear to be a fear tactic but kids need to understand that when they engage in sex it's a very real possibility that the consequences may be a child.

[DaveW]

Simply because those verses do not apply to 1) Underaged youths 2) Unwed individuals.

It makes no sense to teach our youth about the pleasures of sex when we are failing at teaching them the primary purpose of sex. It may appear to be a fear tactic but kids need to understand that when they engage in sex it's a very real possibility that the consequences may be a child.

Where in the bible do you get the idea that procreation is " the primary purpose of sex?"  Chapter and verse PLEASE!


Yes that is a biological reality that needs to be understood; but I see nowhere that the bible says it is the primary purpose.  And to teach it as such pretty much discards the biblical view of the topic.

[RB]

I have an hypothetical topic. I like to see what others may say on this situation I brainstormed at home in my head. So let's suppose this situation.

There was a single woman working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day and she has a 12 year old daughter.

Personally, this is a hypothetical question that's too far out to even give an answer~simply by the fact that the child is twelve years old and the other child is only sixteen. I have lived for 72 plus years and have seen a lot, but not one like this one.

Now, if you say the girl is fifteen and the boy is seventeen or eighteen then I can give my view on such a question.

One day her daughter (fifteen, or sixteen)  told her mother that about 3 months ago she slept with a boy eighteen years old. And now she found out she is pregnant by him and has not since then slept with anyone else.

The mother has the right to either keep the child and allow her daughter to raise it with her mother's help and the young man, or just let them get marry and let them fulfill their responsibility as the parents of the child~but it is the parent's decisions that should rule in such a case.

The mother is single because she also dated some guy for a few months. He left before she had her baby. Now she is going to a non-denominational church and her daughter goes sometimes.

Has no authority in what to do in the daughter's situation.

In this situation the girl is pregnant what is the mother to do with her? Like does the girl stay in school  or does she have to take a break not to promote the idea of being pregnant at school? She can you know be embarrassed maybe. .

No problem....home school, there's a lot of ways of doing this.

If the mother is single and working how can she help her daughter?

Well, now, so far she has failed her daughter by not being wise as to monitor her as she should have done to not allow her with a boy one on one without some supervision of an adult~mainly her as her mother. There are ways this could have been done. I had daughters and took my responsibility very seriously as their father and so did their mother. There have been single mothers who raised girls and KNEW the danger of allowing their daughters along with a male unsupervised.

Does she equally raise this child or does she have her daughter to put in adoption? Which seems to be better to do?

No brainer~raised the child IT IS YOUR CHILD and YOUR responsibility to do so.

Does this girl need to go to classes to learn to have a baby, especially at her age?

She already HAS ONE, no need to learn how to have one, and as far as learning how to care for them~no problem, mother instinct will provide the learning, maybe not as wise as some being so young, but they will learn~the lack of knowledge is the results of having a child out of wedlock at a young age~but God is merciful if one puts their heart to do the best they can seeking his mercy.

As far as the 17, or 18-year-old boy what should happen to him?. How much responsibility will be on his part?. Is he supposed to in anyway or his parents support this girls child or there is no law of that age to do so?

As I said above, it is the parent of the pregnant girl that makes this call, yet as far as I'm concern, I would judge the character of the young man and make that decisions more in favor of making it HIS RESPONSIBILITY, but it all depends on his character.

[Alan]

Where in the bible do you get the idea that procreation is " the primary purpose of sex?"  Chapter and verse PLEASE!


Yes that is a biological reality that needs to be understood; but I see nowhere that the bible says it is the primary purpose.  And to teach it as such pretty much discards the biblical view of the topic.

You're flipping a moral consideration for a youth to a biblical idea that is given for those that are permitted to engage in sexual activities. Please stop.

[DaveW]

You're flipping a moral consideration .... to a biblical idea

The ONLY source of "moral consideration" for anyone is "biblical idea." 

If you are taking your moral compass from any other source (including science) then you are at best listening to the flesh; and at worst, to the devil.

Please stop.

No I will NOT stop as the Bible is our only source for moral direction.

And you have NOT answered me yet on your BIBLICAL reasoning for maintaining "that sex is first and foremost for the act of procreation." 

Edited to add:

This is off topic to the OP.  The question was about what the single mom should do in the given situation, NOT the morality of  her or her daughter getting pregnant.

[Alan]

The ONLY source of "moral consideration" for anyone is "biblical idea." 

If you are taking your moral compass from any other source (including science) then you are at best listening to the flesh; and at worst, to the devil. No I will NOT stop as the Bible is our only source for moral direction.

And you have NOT answered me yet on your BIBLICAL reasoning for maintaining "that sex is first and foremost for the act of procreation." 

Edited to add:

This is off topic to the OP.  The question was about what the single mom should do in the given situation, NOT the morality of  her or her daughter getting pregnant.

You're being ridiculous but please do go ahead and teach your 12 year old child about sexual pleasures. 

[DaveW]

You're being ridiculous but please do go ahead and teach your 12 year old child about sexual pleasures. 

Alan, if you or I do NOT teach our 10-11-12 year old kids about sexual pleasure, they WILL learn about it elsewhere. 

At home we can teach it in a biblical and moral framework that will NOT be available from friends at school, internet websites (porn or otherwise) or sex ed classes.

[Alan]

[RB]

Alan, if you or I do NOT teach our 10-11-12 year old kids about sexual pleasure, they WILL learn about it elsewhere.  At home we can teach it in a biblical and moral framework that will NOT be available from friends at school, internet websites (porn or otherwise) or sex ed classes.

You do not need to teach them, their bodies will be their teachers. For boys somewhere between 10-14 God's hypodermic needle begins to pump testosterone into their bodies while they are sleeping and beginning to dream of kissing Suzie. With girls one day boys are a pest, up until the age of eleven and then they become cute, etc. Then the troubles starts.

Dave, children in their early twenties think they have already learned more than you know~at probably 13 they are wondering if you and their mothers still are even having pleasures anymore.

Dave, consider the animal creation, they never had the first sex lesson, yet it all becomes very natural to them at the right time and they all follow the same paths of seducing and enjoying the process.

[4WD]

No I will NOT stop as the Bible is our only source for moral direction.

The Bible is out only source for a totally objective moral direction. And that because God is the author.  But that doesn't exclude a subjective morality from being in alignment with God's moral direction.  The laws banning murder, even if subjective and not coming from God directly, are quite suitable to God.

[Texas Conservative]

You do not need to teach them, their bodies will be their teachers. For boys somewhere between 10-14 God's hypodermic needle begins to pump testosterone into their bodies while they are sleeping and beginning to dream of kissing Suzie. With girls one day boys are a pest, up until the age of eleven and then they become cute, etc. Then the troubles starts.

Dave, children in their early twenties think they have already learned more than you know~at probably 13 they are wondering if you and their mothers still are even having pleasures anymore.

Dave, consider the animal creation, they never had the first sex lesson, yet it all becomes very natural to them at the right time and they all follow the same paths of seducing and enjoying the process.

Naw, you need to teach them the consequences of sex.  Although biology gives them urges, they are too stupid to understand the consequences.  Plenty of adults in our culture are also too stupid to understand.

[Alan]

Naw, you need to teach them the consequences of sex.  Although biology gives them urges, they are too stupid to understand the consequences.  Plenty of adults in our culture are also too stupid to understand.

Pretty much what I said before Dave came at me with Song of Solomon and the pleasures of sex that we should be reiterating to our 12 year old kids. 

[DaveW]

You do not need to teach them, their bodies will be their teachers. For boys somewhere between 10-14 God's hypodermic needle begins to pump testosterone into their bodies while they are sleeping and beginning to dream of kissing Suzie. With girls one day boys are a pest, up until the age of eleven and then they become cute, etc. Then the troubles starts.

Dave, consider the animal creation, they never had the first sex lesson, yet it all becomes very natural to them at the right time and they all follow the same paths of seducing and enjoying the process.

Yes their bodies will tell them a LOT.  And if we do NOT teach it within a biblical moral framework, it can go any which way.  That is evidenced well enough in modern western society. 

the old main line way of just saying "God hates sex" and "Just say no" never really worked. 

[RB]

Naw, you need to teach them the consequences of sex.  Although biology gives them urges, they are too stupid to understand the consequences. 

Well, that would come as we teach them the consequences of sin.

they are too stupid to understand the consequences

Like father and mother so are our children, even we are dull of the consequences of sin~and of all sin for youth the sin of evil concupiscence is the hardest to overcome.

[RB]

the old main line way of just saying "God hates sex" and "Just say no" never really worked.

Well, no one is saying to tell them that, for their bodies created by God tells them differently. My wife and I have always been very affectionate toward each other before our children, in our own quiet way, which has taught them that marriage and love in that marriage is a wonderful gift from God. They have seen us from a very early age of making time for ourselves apart from them. I have taught them that marriage is a fifty-year commitment, and when the children are gone we will be by ourselves for many years afterward and are looking forward to those days. There are many ways to teach them without going into details about what we do behind closed doors. As a matter of fact, our bedroom is off-limits to them even from a very young age.