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Author Topic: Whats your take on this article on spanking?  (Read 4849 times)

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Offline Charles Sloan

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Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« on: April 04, 2012, 03:16:26 PM »
Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways.
For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee.
Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table.  — Psalm 128:1-3

I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name. — Psalm 138:2

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Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« on: April 04, 2012, 03:16:26 PM »

Offline the_last_gunslinger

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2012, 11:42:44 AM »
It's an interesting study for sure. I'm a little perplexed at the reason for these findings; I don't see a direct correlation between spanking and IQ points, but it's worth considering. I've always been against spanking personally, but for different reasons. Though I'm not a parent so maybe that alters your perspective on it.

Overall a pretty cool read, though.

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #1 on: April 05, 2012, 11:42:44 AM »

Offline chosenone

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2012, 12:56:05 PM »
I have bought up three children in a loving but firm way, with clear boundaries and consistant parenting, and I dont like spanking either. I especially thought this part was interesting:-

"First, corporal punishment is extremely stressful and can become a chronic stressor for young children, who typically experience corporal punishment three or more times a week. For many it continues for years. The research found that the stress of corporal punishment shows up as an increase in post-traumatic stress symptoms such as being fearful that terrible things are about to happen and being easily startled. These symptoms are associated with lower IQ".

It is correction through fear, and it doesnt surprise me that for many children it is extreemly stressful. I cant imagine how horrible and frightening it must be even for an adult to live with a spouse who hits and beats them, but we think its OK to do that to our children?
. If a woman comes here and says that her husband hits her, we say leave, run, get out and quick. If we hit or spank or beat our children, who are half our size or smaller, no one bothers and even says its apparently the right thing to do!Talk about double standards.

If a person attacked us in the street, we would report them to the police, and they may get charged and put in prison, but then we go home and do the same to our little children!

So no, this article doesnt surprise me.

It really is possible to bring up lovely, kind, caring young people without hitting them. I have seen this in many families.
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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #2 on: April 05, 2012, 12:56:05 PM »

Offline Shodan

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2012, 08:45:05 PM »
My take is that first, it is another of the world's attempts to slant the story to undermine the Bible's teaching on discipline.

As for the correlation with IQ, it could be that the compliant child is more inclined to be a serious student versus the willful child who is always testing the limits....just a thought.
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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #3 on: May 09, 2012, 08:45:05 PM »

Offline Voluntary Joe

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2012, 09:03:01 PM »
Children emulate the behavior of their parents, violence is a language, children won't learn to be violent if they don't experience it. The contradiction of being told hitting is wrong and being hit is mentally destructive. It comes down to whether violence is right or wrong. It's hypocritical to tell your child violence is bad and then later on go and hit them. It's a contradiction. Standards are universal, if the standard is violence is bad then it's bad, no exceptions. Respect teaches respect just as violence teaches violence.

Christians too often don't treat children as rational beings, like equals capable of discussion, understanding and mutual agreement and mutual respect. That's not to say you can truly have a relationship of equality with your child because they are completely dependent on you, but it does mean that we need to understand that every relationship must have reciprocal values. That means if the standard is that you can hit them then it would be wrong to say they can't hit you. Because the development of the mind is so vital to behavior and cognitive reasoning ability it's imperative that parents avoid as much as possible placing contradictions into our children's minds.

Violence begets violence and understanding begets understanding. Violence is a language. If you have no discipline that is very unhealthy, obviously, but hitting is not discipline. Of course the obvious flaw in spanking as a method for correcting behavior is the frequency with which it appears to be needed. Persuasion will always win out over force, and when discipline is necessary there are in infinite amount of options at your disposal. Hitting is lazy because you don't want to think of a more effective alternative and it shows a lack of creativity in how you handle a situation. Hitting should never be an option if your intelligent enough to come up with an alternative and calm enough not have hitting be your natural reaction. I know I may sound harsh and critical and I apologize, but I think it's important to get rid of this mindset that hitting is somehow the only way to handle kids, or that it is in some way more appropriate than hitting a spouse or brother or parent or co-worker or anyone else in your life.

The parent-child relationship is the only relationship in the world which one party has no option of disassociation. The relationship of child to parent is essentially a state of involuntary dependency. Therefore, any aggression by the parent toward the child - whether in the form of verbal or physical violence; or, physical or emotional withdrawal, constitutes a violation of and an abuse of that relationship. In other words, it is the obligation of the parent, to insure that the child's experience of the relationship were as if it were voluntary.

There is only incentive and compulsion (or the threat of compulsion). Incentive must be the primary method of behavior modification. Since children are designed to emulate the parent, the most effective method of teaching desired behavior, is to model that behavior. This means: behavior modification is first and foremost, an obligation on the parent, not the child. Incentive is not the removal of a negative, the removal of a negative is not a positive. -1 + 1 = 0. A child must be shown why it is a positive value to behave a certain way.

The imposition of will, as a parent, is a necessity - but only validly so, in circumstances in which it is clear that the child would agree (when old enough), that it was indeed in their best interest. Such cases might include interventions to insure the immediate safety of the child, or the regulation and maintenance of the optimum health of the child, long-term. In addition, this standard goes both ways: the parent is obligated to anticipate choices for the family that, while inconvenient or uncomfortable for the adult, are directed toward satisfying the mental and emotional needs of the child (something they presumably would also grant ex-post facto permission for).

Children are a fountain of natural wisdom, from which parents can augment and expand their own learning and growth process. Without the humility to ask the question, "what can I learn from my child", both parent and child suffer. This kind of humility is another way in which the parent can create opportunities for the child to contribute in meaningful ways to the family.

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2012, 09:03:01 PM »



Offline JohnDB

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2012, 06:33:10 AM »
Yet another study showing how frogs with no legs are deaf.

Human behavior has many facets.
One of the things I find to be true is that psychologists & psychiatrists are usually a little crazy. Yet for some reason we go to them for life advice. That's even more nuts.
I wanna die like grandpa, peacefully and in my sleep; not like the passengers in his car...they were all screaming and panicking.

Offline Bitter Sweet

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Re: Whats your take on this article on spanking?
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2012, 02:24:39 PM »
I didn't spank my oldest, she's 160. I spanked my middle, she's 130. They are both crazy and the oldest wants to be a psychiatrist, but more for research. My youngest is only 3 and he is using his super ego so I'm guessing he'll be the most intelligent because he has common sense, something the others lack.
Galatians 4:16 Have I now become your enemy by telling you the truth?