I feel today like I am finished.  But, oh,  I know that I will rebound.  I always do.

I crashed and am burning right now.  It's finally sinking in that I unloaded some pretty personal stuff.  It's 'out there'. In one way I still do not regret it but the 'side effects' of letting go is like being bitten by a viper.  Not pleasant.  I do not recommend it!

 I met with two Christian brothers last night.  The night started off great but by the end of the evening  one  of the guys got really agitated with me.  He almost lost it. 

I coined a phrase--"Don't let your infirmity become your identity."  There is another, not one that I wrote : "Beware of analysis paralysis".  Maybe you have heard of that one.  If you get too focused on your problems, whatever it or they might be, you can lose sight of the Saviour.  That's not what I was trying to do or what was happening in my opinion. Did it seem that way to you?  This is a hard thing--I am swinging back and forth today like a pendulam.  One moment I can feel confident and strong and then later I can be moody, depressed, angry...it's frustrating, confusing and very tiring.  Right now I feel like God is looking down at me and pronouncing me a fool.  I don't really think He is--it feels that way.

I believe that it has been somewhat therapeutic to discuss some of this stuff.  But I guess maybe I am not as brave about it as I thought I was.  I don't know--I'm just really confused.  Posting that stuff has been beneficial to me, and to some others and who knows what guests who drop by get out of it. 

I get this one right?--share on a deep level and suffer?  Is it really worth it or is it better to keep things safe and superficial--at least when it comes to one's personal life?  I dunno.  For too long I kept my cards too close to my vest.  Then one evening in prayer the Lord spoke to me concerning casting my bread upon the waters.  In other words stop playing it safe and take a risk--better put is to say step out in faith--and boldness.

O well, like my grandmother used to say, "Live and learn.".  I'd appreciate prayer--any kind of prayer.  I am so at the bottom today I have to look up to look down.

Well, that's too bad for me.  And in case you are wondering I am not looking for attention here--just prayer.

Bye. 
Michael

Don't give up.  When you finally make it through the fire, you will be so refined that ebay won't be able to afford you!!   

God Bless,
Basherbelding

Sorry I didn't see this before Michael, and I am sure happy you have bounced back again.

God bless you muchly, Memmy

I will pray.

love,

Sopranette

Memmy, Johntwayne and KingsKid...thank you for your kind words.  The support here for one and another is genuine.  The fact that it is on-line does not matter or make the Christian fellowship any less significant in my opinion.

And all God's people said, 

God bless you, Michael.
I will remember you in my prayers.