Please find it in your heart to pray for me and my family. I have been struggling for several years now to provide for my 4 kids and my mother who lives with me, after my husband abandoned us years ago, and left us with nothing. He disappeared, and has not seen our kids, or sent any money in all those years. The older ones are practically grown, and two of them work. My oldest daughter has COPD, which is rare at a young age, but she is not able to work, but is not on disability.
I sell custom made items on the internet to pay our rent, buy our food, and to pay for our necessities. The two children that work, help pay what they can as well. But it is not enough. I have been feeling sick, and depressed, and have gotten behind in my work. I can't keep up with it, and now owe a lot of people their items, or refunds. A lot of these customers are understandably frustrated now, and won't wait for me to get finished. They all want their items before Christmas, and it is now impossible for me to please them all. I also don't have the money to refund them. I am in constant fear now, and am afraid I will wind up in jail for this. My small little business will be ruined, and I am not well enough to do any other work, and even if I could, it would not be enough to pay everyone back, and to keep living. It is a huge snowball effect, and I don't know what to do now. I wish I had a fresh start, but that is impossible.
I have prayed and prayed, and I know God is listening, but maybe it is not his will that this won't be fixed for me. I, and my family are all good people. None of us drink, have never done drugs, and we are good and kid to people, and have always tried to help others, even if it is just kind words. or being there for them. I feel like a horrible person right now, because I have gotten so far behind. My health is not good, and I haven't even found the time to go to the doctor much, or get y health straightened out. I have diabetes, thyroid problems, and something going on with my liver. With worrying about my 74 year old mother's health, and my daughter's, I rarely have time to think about what is going on with me.
I don't know what will happen to my family, if I am not around to take care of them. They need me, and I won't be able to help them, if I get too sick, or wind up in prison. I am sick with worry, all I can do is cry all the time. I've gotten through some really hard times in my life, but I see no light at the end of the tunnel this time. I need a breakthrough, or a miracle. I am so depressed and scared, that I don't know what to do with myself anymore.
Please, please, please, pray for me, that something good will happen. That I will either get a financial breakthrough, that will let me take care of what needs to be done, or that my customers will give me more time, and be kind and understanding. I believe in God, and the power of prayer. I have seen the power of prayer work before when a family member was at death's door, and they stayed on this earth for a few more years after that. I haven't been to church in several years, but believe in God, and pray every day. Teach me, if you can, the right way to pray to God, for what I need. I only pray for what I need, I don't need anything more than that. Please pray for me, and get some others to pray for me if you can. God Bless.