Hi, I have been marriage for 3 1/2 years.  Prior to being marriage I had a sexual addiction.   I could never stop but yet I could never tell a soul.  I ended up going into my marriage.  My amazing wife stuck by my side even though I had cheated three times on her.  I would think back and it was like a gun was to my head.  A sexual addiction is uncontrollable.  She believes it was a still a choice but I look at my self and can't belive that happened to me.  She is amazing, she beautiful, a christian, loving, supportive etc.  Well on March 3rd, I watched the movie FireProof.  The movie changed me forever.  I gave my complete self to God and the addiciton went away. It has been 8 months since then and still to this date I have absolutely no feelings of my past. I do not think or feel that way. The best part is with God I know I am never going back to that. I hate that person and thank her ever day for sticking by my side during that difficult time in my life and our marraige.  I promised her in March that I would never hurt her again and would mend her back up and heal her and stitch all her scars back up.  I thought I had been doing that for he past 8 months.  We went to councelling but minimal and unfortunately it wasn't a christian counceling.  I knew I had things to work on in our marriage but the addiction was gon and I finally trusty myself with all I have.  The thought of hurting my wife in anyway is like hurting my children.. I love her with everything.  I knew I need to work being critical, nagging etc.. We would get in fights over stupid things.  We would have go there but justwasn't there.  I have done everything for her that I can.  She is the most beautiful person in the world on the inside and out but she doesn't think that I feel that way.  She went for w week on a woman's bible study camp in Texas, well I missed her more than anything and could'nt wait for her to come back. I learned a new appreciatation for her. She is a stay at home mom for our two little ones, 1 1/2 and 3 1/2.  I also have 4 amazing step kids from her first marriage.  While she was gone I showed a control issue that I wasn't aware of but had been told.  She came back and I was so exited but it has been done hill since.  She told me that she has to find her self and isnt' happy.  She says she has to be on her one.  I would be hard either way but she is choicing not as a couple.  I pray every day that our marriage can be restored but she doesn't feel it every can be because she is so scared of getting hurt.  that will never happen in our life together.  I have no idea what to do. She wants to be alone but yet I want to restore our marriage. She says she has not marrital love for me anymore.  Please pray for our marriage.  Everyone is praying for the marriage but she says she has to be alone to heal.. With God I know our marriage can be saved.  I couldn't handle it last week.  God put all of me inside of me and I couldn't handle who I was.   I could now see the control and the past from hurting my wife previously.  I ended up trying to commit suicide becuase of what I did to my wife and couldn'[t handle who I had been. I was hanging by my neck to die and all the sudden I feel to the ground. God at that moment stated to me.  No, you can choice live, you are now empty, give the bibles word to your family, loved ones, children and my wife.  However she does believe it can and will get better.. I love her with everything I have.

Please pray for us.  In Gods name.  Amen

You have so much happening!  I hope things work out for your marriage to be rebuilt.  God bless you and your family.