Dear psalmgirl, you plight breaks my heart and I can ony think you were becoming very close to the Lord for these things to come to you. Take the following things the Apostle Paul experienced. Where was the Lord at that time for Paul; working in his life for things eternal rewards.

1 Corinthians 11:23-30
23  Are they ministers of Christ? (I speak as a fool) I am more; in labours more abundant, in stripes above measure, in prisons more frequent, in deaths oft.
24  Of the Jews five times received I forty stripes save one.
25  Thrice was I beaten with rods, once was I stoned, thrice I suffered shipwreck, a night and a day I have been in the deep;
26  In journeyings often, in perils of waters, in perils of robbers, in perils by mine own countrymen, in perils by the heathen, in perils in the city, in perils in the wilderness, in perils in the sea, in perils among false brethren;
27  In weariness and painfulness, in watchings often, in hunger and thirst, in fastings often, in cold and nakedness.
28  Beside those things that are without, that which cometh upon me daily, the care of all the churches.
29  Who is weak, and I am not weak? who is offended, and I burn not?
30  If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities.
 
I wrote the follow "Christian Sufferings" to explain these things if you're interested. God bless you in Jesus' name.

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/christian-sufferings-part-one-of-two/

http://www.gracecentered.com/christian_forums/theology/christian-sufferings-part-two-of-two/

Sweetie,
None of us understands God and I guess it is supposed to be that way for now. Being a Christian is not a guarantee that we will be immune from external pressures such as you are going through.

Even though you can't feel Him God is there with you at this moment. I know it's hard but could you try each day to find some thing no matter how small in your eyes to thank Him for. I have found that is the best place to start.

Father, I pray for the encouragement and love of the Comforter to touch our sister. I pray against a work that would try to impoverish so I pray for your healing and restorative power to enter this situation, that you would undertake for Psalmgirl in every way to bring peace and the joy of the Lord into her life.

We praise you for who you are and that you Lord are God who finds nothing impossible. In Jesus name.

  I am so touched by everyones responses and prayers... thank you for your time and for praying such beautiful prayers for me... I know I need to get to the place where I can accept that God is in control and doesn't owe me anything, just not sure how to get there...  I read His Word everyday about how faithful and loving He is...  and I truly understand trials are needed,  but when it is in every area of your life without letting up, and for so long a time, it is so overwhelming that I find it hard to have the Godly response He is looking for, because I feel so beaten down...  I feel like I have lost my salvation and have already gone to hell... I have no hope or anything to look forward to but more hardship... I know this is the wrong attitude, but see no hope for me...

Psalmgirl- watch what you speak over yourself.  Those things which you say come to pass (Mk. 11:23) and that works in the negative and in the positive.  Start thanking God for His provision, and thank Him that things are as good as they are.  (You could be on the street!)  As you start giving praise and glory to God for His power working in your life, things will begin to change because You will be honoring Him and building your faith in His promises to take care of you.

Father, I pray for psalmgirl, for Your love and peace to overwhelm her.  Give her wisdom to hear your voice and be directed by Your Spirit.  I thank You Lord that she is in Your hands and You will not let her go.  No weapon formed against her shall prosper for she is more than a conqueror through Him who loves her.  Thank You Lord for the victory that is coming into her life, and the testimony that will come out of it.  In Jesus' Name, amen.

If you are interested, check out a page I put together on squidoo.com- Word Power- Your Future Is in Your Mouth at http://www.squidoo.com/power-words

Hang in there Psalmgirl . God may be planing a 180 for your situation

And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Galatians Chapter 6 Verse 9