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Messages - AidensMommy

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Christian Women Forum / Re: Why does God allow us to suffer?
« on: Mon Jan 27, 2014 - 14:38:53 »
When I am at my lowest and throwing angry questions, I feel a calm come over me and a quietness to my soul.
A loss is a loss and I'm sorry about the circumstances regarding your Mother's passing. It is never easy losing a piece of our heart.
My eyes have surely been opened. I only want to use this burden how God intended me to use it, to fulfill his purpose.
At time, this is most challenging. Not knowing if I am listening carfully enough to be led how He planned.
Yes, I do have other children. I have two daughters, aged 9 and 6. They have taken their brother's passing difficult but also find comfort in knowing he is in heaven and we will see him again but they question as well. It is difficult answering their questions on why he couldn't stay here with us. It is all so confusing for them. I try my best to provide answers but some we will never know.
They just wanted to keep their baby brother, as did we, and they don't understand why everyone else got to keep their babies.
I sometimes wonder about the bigger picture and how this was meant to shape their futures as well.

Christian Women Forum / Re: Why does God allow us to suffer?
« on: Mon Jan 27, 2014 - 14:18:12 »
Thank you Helen.
Thank you for pointing out that God does not waste pain. It has been challenging to find the purpose God has set in front of me but life is so much bigger.
Through the profound pain of losing my son, I've come to realize what a blessing truly is about. It isn't always about seeing it in front of your face but feeling it from within.
Yes, I worry for those that have not found the peace and comfort in God. I don't know how anyone can make it through without His grace.

Christian Women Forum / Re: Why does God allow us to suffer?
« on: Mon Jan 27, 2014 - 12:04:17 »
Thank you so much.
It feels so much better hearing it from another Christian's mouth. I don't pretend to think that my loss is any greater than that of another's. It is just different and when society calls it 'out of the natural order of things', it leaves a person feeling like there is something wrong with them.
You hit the nail on the head. I wish I could stop doubting and allow my faith to overcome the fear.
I guess patience isn't my strong suit and yes, I need to be gentle with myself and fully allow grief to shape me.
I never thought I would be standing here and surviving. Surely, I thought losing my child would cause me to crumble to ash in an instant.
I've learned already how strong God is for us while we are broken beyond repair. It is amazing the peace and calm that I can feel everyday but it still hurts. The pain is so deep that I know I will carry it with me until the end of my days but I am hopeful to find beauty in the darkness of this journey.
Thank you for your kind and healing words.

Christian Women Forum / Why does God allow us to suffer?
« on: Mon Jan 27, 2014 - 10:34:38 »
I've been questioning God and scripture a lot since my infant son's death 5 months ago.
I know as a Christian, I am going to be subjected to suffering but the death of my own child has shaken my inner being.
If the Bible says that it is not by the will of God that these little ones shall perish but then God numbers our days, why must little ones die?
At times, it all seems so contradictory and confusing.
I have a strong faith and I know I will see my child again but I'm having a difficult time living joyfully after such a profound loss.
I know God's plans are bigger than my dreams. I know we live in a fallen world.
I know that the sufferings of this time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
I don't understand why children have to die. I don't understand how a parent can live with this and find joy again.
Why did God want me to be a part of this darkness of the world that involves losing children?
I've tried reaching out to other bereaved parents but we are all in the same sinking boat.
Thank you for your help.

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