Author Topic: Adult help on sex  (Read 2057 times)

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Offline FlawedWings

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Adult help on sex
« on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:27:17 »
Several times my parents have tried to explain sex and stuff like that to me this year. I'm in highschool, so I hear about it all the time, but they just don't understand! I don't want to hear about it, especially the details. I don't care that sex is a "blessing" because if bears forth children. Big whoop! I'm terrified of sex. I think it's immensly gross and unsettling. I also have a fear I'll do it too soon or become addicted if I hear about it. So, I have sworn off sex. Forever. I'm adopting a kid.
My parents don't get it. They don't feel the same as I do about it. I was horrified when my mom went to take a shower, and my dad went in the bathroom with her!! I cried, hiding in my bed, and they never found out how much it hurt me. These "pleasures" make me feel so sick in my stomach and I have literally passed out a few times from hearing about it.
The girls at school (Christian girls) ask me how feel about sex after marrige. And I told them, "pfft no way on this earth I'm letting some girl get all touchy feely with me!!!" The girls at school all laughed, saying "No girl will ever marry someone who is unwilling to have sex with them!" They giggled and walked off. I thought about that. What if I can't find a girl against it? Will I never marry? Right now I'm honestly fine with adopting a kid or two and maybe a dog as well and not having a wife. But.. I always imagined myself with the one. But what do I do if I end up marrying, then she asks me about sex, and I tell her NOOOOOOO? Will she leave me?
I know I am only a teenager, but I have thought about this for a long time. I know I won't change my mind, so don't go off about "once you're an adult, you'll crave it". Because I am downright horrified of sex.
Will I never marry because of my such strong feelings against sex, even after marrige?

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #1 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:32:45 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #2 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:35:43 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

If my body is my wife's once I marry, I'm suppose to let her see me naked and mess with.. Certain things, and do whatever she wants with me? That sounds terrible! ..Maybe I shouldn't.. Ever.. Marry..

Offline Willie T

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #3 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:36:27 »
Is it "girls" or is it "sexual intercourse" that turns you off?  I mean, there's "Heing & Sheing", "Heing & Heing", "Sheing & Sheing", and then there's also Meing & Meing".  Have you engaged in any of them?

Determining this for yourself may help pinpoint particular problem areas.

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #4 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:41:54 »
Is it "girls" or is it "sexual intercourse" that turns you off?  I mean, there's "Heing & Sheing", "Heing & Heing", "Sheing & Sheing", and then there's also Meing & Meing".  Have you engaged in any of them?

Determining this for yourself may help pinpoint particular problem areas.


Just sex in general. Male and female, female and female, male and male, it all scares me. Girls don't scare me. Sex with girls? THAT scares me. It doesn't matter what gender it is (and I am straight incase anyone is wondering), I just don't want to hear about it, do it, see it, experiance it, ect. Sex, and my wife (if I ever have one) leaving me are my biggest fears.

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #4 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:41:54 »



Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #5 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:42:11 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

If my body is my wife's once I marry, I'm suppose to let her see me naked and mess with.. Certain things, and do whatever she wants with me? That sounds terrible! ..Maybe I shouldn't.. Ever.. Marry..

1Corinthians 7:3-5...The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of our lack of self-control.

Here is what God Word gives us in this regard.  If you cannot fulfill this for your wife...you should not marry.

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #6 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:43:05 »
And no, I have never had sex, and I certainly don't plan on it

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #7 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:45:18 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

If my body is my wife's once I marry, I'm suppose to let her see me naked and mess with.. Certain things, and do whatever she wants with me? That sounds terrible! ..Maybe I shouldn't.. Ever.. Marry..

1Corinthians 7:3-5...The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of our lack of self-control.

Here is what God Word gives us in this regard.  If you cannot fulfill this for your wife...you should not marry.

I had no idea marrying without sex was a sin.. Thanks for telling me... I think I shall go cry in my bed now, since I will be forever alone

Offline Thankfulldad

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #8 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:49:40 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

If my body is my wife's once I marry, I'm suppose to let her see me naked and mess with.. Certain things, and do whatever she wants with me? That sounds terrible! ..Maybe I shouldn't.. Ever.. Marry..

1Corinthians 7:3-5...The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of our lack of self-control.

Here is what God Word gives us in this regard.  If you cannot fulfill this for your wife...you should not marry.

I had no idea marrying without sex was a sin.. Thanks for telling me... I think I shall go cry in my bed now, since I will be forever alone

God may have huge plans for you as a single...your relationship with Him is the only one that counts.  Paul tells us that those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and he would like to spare us from that (1Corinthians 7:28)

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #9 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 11:51:34 »
My advice....never marry; God did not intend for a wife to go without sex.

Once you marry, your body is not your own...but it is your wife's...

If my body is my wife's once I marry, I'm suppose to let her see me naked and mess with.. Certain things, and do whatever she wants with me? That sounds terrible! ..Maybe I shouldn't.. Ever.. Marry..

1Corinthians 7:3-5...The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of our lack of self-control.

Here is what God Word gives us in this regard.  If you cannot fulfill this for your wife...you should not marry.

I had no idea marrying without sex was a sin.. Thanks for telling me... I think I shall go cry in my bed now, since I will be forever alone

God may have huge plans for you as a single...your relationship with Him is the only one that counts.  Paul tells us that those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and he would like to spare us from that (1Corinthians 7:28)

Thanks.. I guess it's better that I learn this now then finding out right before I get married and having whoever it is leave me right before.

Offline Willie T

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #10 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 12:02:43 »
Just a thought to kick around in your "Hummm" box.  At your age, girls SHOULD scare you.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #11 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 12:17:47 »
Sex, and my wife (if I ever have one) leaving me are my biggest fears.

Let me put it this way.  If you don't have sex with her, your wife WILL leave you.

Now if you were born 75 or 100 years ago you might just find a good christian girl as scared and grossed out by sex as you are.   Probably not now. 

How old are you?  Closer to 13 or closer to 19?  I suspect if you are on the young end of the teen years, you will have a HUGE change of mind on this subject in a while.

You asked for "adult help" on this so I will ask you some adult questions:

Do you have erections?
Do you have desires for release?  How strong are they?
Do you masturbate?
Have you ever had a wet dream?

If your answer is no to all these and you are on the older end of being a teen, (17+) I would suggest you make an appointment with your doctor. You could have a delayed puberty which can cause some medical problems.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #12 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 12:35:21 »
I guess I need to respone to the OP as well
Several times my parents have tried to explain sex and stuff like that to me this year. I'm in highschool, so I hear about it all the time, but they just don't understand! I don't want to hear about it, especially the details.
If you are living at home you need to submit yourself to your parents.  If they want to talk about it you are not wise to refuse to listen. In fact, you are violating scripture.

Quote
I don't care that sex is a "blessing" because if bears forth children. Big whoop! I'm terrified of sex. I think it's immensly gross and unsettling. I also have a fear I'll do it too soon or become addicted if I hear about it. So, I have sworn off sex. Forever.


So you have just unilaterally decided to swear off a gift from God?  Again, not a wise choice.

Quote
They don't feel the same as I do about it. I was horrified when my mom went to take a shower, and my dad went in the bathroom with her!! I cried, hiding in my bed, and they never found out how much it hurt me. These "pleasures" make me feel so sick in my stomach and I have literally passed out a few times from hearing about it.


You need to tell your parents this.  Be completely up front about it.

Quote
I know I am only a teenager, but I have thought about this for a long time.


OK this sets off a huge red flag for me. 

1 - as a teen (especially a young teen) should not have been thinking anything about sex "for a long time."
2 - the reactions you describe: crying, hiding, passing out, and the fear.

These 2 point to one thing for me - sexual abuse as a young child. I am no shrink or therapist but have been around people who were abused including my wife and what you describe fits right into their attitudes and reactions.  You may have even suppressed the memory or it happened too early for you to remember it.

If that is the case, you will need to realize that all this is a gut reaction to a violent sin committed against you, and God can and will heal it. 

I am not saying it did happen, just that what you describe are classic symptoms of it.

=========================

ETA:

I am  not writing this to upset you, although it probably will.  I am writing because you posted here asking for help.  You may need that help more than you realize.  I want to see you grow up to be complete in Christ.  He wants every area of your life brought under HIS lordship, including this one.
« Last Edit: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 12:52:57 by DaveW »

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #13 on: Tue Aug 07, 2012 - 14:39:37 »
To those questions by DaveW, yes, no, no, yes... I am in the age range of 13-16 but I don't feel comfortable telling where I am on that age list.

I have NOT been abused... The reason I have thought about it is because I hear about it so much. On tv, radio, music, movies, books... I've thought about it as in, "why would someone do this?" "what is sex?" "what is puberty for?"  "why does this happen to my body?" "why I am attracted to girls?" I admit, I'm much too curious for my taste.. And then the scareing me part.. I know of kids/teens (and even adults) who are sex addicts or who have been raped. THAT is why I am scared.

I know you all are just trying to help, but maybe it's best for me to ask this question again when I'm around the ages of 23-26, when I may consider sex after marrige.

But thank you all for trying to help me, I really appriciate it. Now that I think about this harder, I am probably just too young to crave sex (THANK GOD HA HA), and the feeling will probably come 'round when I'm more of the appropriate age. (maybe God is just trying to keep me from wanting it until I am good and ready) And by the way, none of the comments upset me. I think they might of actually possibly teensy weensy bit of incouraged me that sex (AFTER MARRIGE) is not a sin, like I have been thinking it was.  ::blushing::

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #14 on: Wed Aug 08, 2012 - 06:13:35 »
Quote
I admit, I'm much too curious for my taste..
Curiosity on this subject is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL at your age. (even INTENSE curosity)

Quote
Now that I think about this harder, I am probably just too young to crave sex

Actually you are at the age where those cravings are just starting.  But don't worry. They will get a LOT stronger over the next 4-5 years.

Quote
I think they might of actually possibly teensy weensy bit of incouraged me that sex (AFTER MARRIGE) is not a sin, like I have been thinking it was.

Glad to be an encouragement.  But let me submit that you HAVE been abused but not in the physical sense.  The fact that you considered marital sex to be sinful indicates some awefully bad teaching from your church or your environment or your family.

The believers that I know who were physically sexually abused often said the worst scars to get past in marriage was the bad teaching from their church.  THAT impacted their marriage worse than the abuse.

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #15 on: Wed Aug 08, 2012 - 08:45:59 »
Quote
I admit, I'm much too curious for my taste..
Curiosity on this subject is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL at your age. (even INTENSE curosity)

Quote
Now that I think about this harder, I am probably just too young to crave sex

Actually you are at the age where those cravings are just starting.  But don't worry. They will get a LOT stronger over the next 4-5 years.

Quote
I think they might of actually possibly teensy weensy bit of incouraged me that sex (AFTER MARRIGE) is not a sin, like I have been thinking it was.

Glad to be an encouragement.  But let me submit that you HAVE been abused but not in the physical sense.  The fact that you considered marital sex to be sinful indicates some awefully bad teaching from your church or your environment or your family.

The believers that I know who were physically sexually abused often said the worst scars to get past in marriage was the bad teaching from their church.  THAT impacted their marriage worse than the abuse.

Yeah, I understand. Thank you so much for all the help. I use to feel so uncomfortable about this subject, but all of you have really helped me. I barely feel uncomfortable about it at all now. And when I said "I'll never change my mind..." heh.. I'm a rebellious teenager, what can I say?

Offline WILDJC

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #16 on: Fri Aug 10, 2012 - 17:08:33 »
Several times my parents have tried to explain sex and stuff like that to me this year. I'm in highschool, so I hear about it all the time, but they just don't understand! I don't want to hear about it, especially the details. I don't care that sex is a "blessing" because if bears forth children. Big whoop! I'm terrified of sex. I think it's immensly gross and unsettling. I also have a fear I'll do it too soon or become addicted if I hear about it. So, I have sworn off sex. Forever. I'm adopting a kid.
My parents don't get it. They don't feel the same as I do about it. I was horrified when my mom went to take a shower, and my dad went in the bathroom with her!! I cried, hiding in my bed, and they never found out how much it hurt me. These "pleasures" make me feel so sick in my stomach and I have literally passed out a few times from hearing about it.
The girls at school (Christian girls) ask me how feel about sex after marrige. And I told them, "pfft no way on this earth I'm letting some girl get all touchy feely with me!!!" The girls at school all laughed, saying "No girl will ever marry someone who is unwilling to have sex with them!" They giggled and walked off. I thought about that. What if I can't find a girl against it? Will I never marry? Right now I'm honestly fine with adopting a kid or two and maybe a dog as well and not having a wife. But.. I always imagined myself with the one. But what do I do if I end up marrying, then she asks me about sex, and I tell her NOOOOOOO? Will she leave me?
I know I am only a teenager, but I have thought about this for a long time. I know I won't change my mind, so don't go off about "once you're an adult, you'll crave it". Because I am downright horrified of sex.
Will I never marry because of my such strong feelings against sex, even after marrige?


Young Man,

Perhaps you are destined to be celibate in your service to God? This is NOT a bad thing, but it takes prayer and discipline. Is this something you have considered? In certain denominations, celibacy is a requirement. If it is something you wish to do in your service to God, then you have married Christ and that is a GOOD thing. God will not burden you above your ability. For now, please enjoy your youth. You will probably change your mind a dozen times until you have settled on what is acceptable to God and to yourself, because there are many ways to serve the Lord that are righteous.

Bless you.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #17 on: Fri Aug 10, 2012 - 20:51:29 »
Give it 5 years and see how you feel then. Sex in marriage is great and godly and good. Thank God that you have parents who have a good sex life!

Offline Bitter Sweet

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #18 on: Wed Aug 15, 2012 - 10:12:17 »
Give it 5 years and see how you feel then. Sex in marriage is great and godly and good. Thank God that you have parents who have a good sex life!

I'm just guessing but I think FW has been traumatized by this comment, hence the reason why he hasn't returned.  ::giggle::

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #19 on: Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 09:41:15 »
Anyone who would find that traumatic (instead of simply age-appropriately distasteful) has had some REALLY BAD sex education.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #20 on: Fri Aug 17, 2012 - 09:50:39 »
Anyone who would find that traumatic (instead of simply age-appropriately distasteful) has had some REALLY BAD sex education.


Yes, agreed.

Offline Gracey

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #21 on: Sat Nov 24, 2012 - 05:54:51 »
I thought it interesting that this guy said he was 'straight'.  How does he know?  That can only be because on some deep level, there is an attraction there for girls.  If he was 'asexual', I think he'd just be ambivalent about the whole thing and not have any feelings of attraction at all.

The 'sex is gross' stuff is pretty much what a pre-pubecent person would say.  I think it sounds about right - there is some kind of delayed puberty here.  A visit to a doctor isn't a bad idea. 

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #22 on: Tue Nov 27, 2012 - 09:47:21 »
The 'sex is gross' stuff is pretty much what a pre-pubecent person would say.  I think it sounds about right - there is some kind of delayed puberty here.  A visit to a doctor isn't a bad idea.

Pre-pubescent does not account for this statement:

Quote
My parents don't get it. They don't feel the same as I do about it. I was horrified when my mom went to take a shower, and my dad went in the bathroom with her!! I cried, hiding in my bed, and they never found out how much it hurt me. These "pleasures" make me feel so sick in my stomach and I have literally passed out a few times from hearing about it.

That is much  more serious than a simple case of delayed puberty.

Offline Gracey

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #23 on: Sun Dec 23, 2012 - 09:12:12 »
That is much  more serious than a simple case of delayed puberty.

Yeah, you could be right.

It could also be a wind-up?!   ::shrug::

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #24 on: Mon Dec 24, 2012 - 11:09:23 »
It could also be a wind-up?!   ::shrug::

To what?

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #25 on: Tue Dec 25, 2012 - 17:31:23 »
ive returned. I still feel pretty much the same... it unsettls me still, but I'm not terrified I guess
the're was a girl who tried to kiss me the other day. actually, more like she pulled me onto of her and started kissing me. I yanked away from her, appalled, told her she was scaring me, then she looked like she was going to cry. I don't understand sensual things. she considered hanging out with me a date and wanted to make out. I really hurt her feelings when I was like "what do you think you''re doing???? don't touch me.." and know people at school scowl at me even more than they use to. because I didnt wanna be on a date or make out. whats going on? why are thy all making such a big deal out of it?

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #26 on: Tue Dec 25, 2012 - 20:30:00 »
Hi FW.. Glad you are still with us.

They think it is strange because it IS strange. There is something developmentally missing or delayed. The desire for intimacy on both an emotional and physical level is fundamental to our survival as a species. God put it in the instinct of every human, We do not have many instincts but that is one of them.

I seriously encourage you to talk to a doctor and a pastor/priest/christian counselor on this issue.

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #27 on: Wed Dec 26, 2012 - 10:02:55 »
Hi FW.. Glad you are still with us.

They think it is strange because it IS strange. There is something developmentally missing or delayed. The desire for intimacy on both an emotional and physical level is fundamental to our survival as a species. God put it in the instinct of every human, We do not have many instincts but that is one of them.

I seriously encourage you to talk to a doctor and a pastor/priest/christian counselor on this issue.

I see your point. but if I don't want a girl kissing me and running her hands over my chest and thighs, what am I suppose to do? we aren't married, so why did everyone freak out that I'm uncomfortable (not with kissing, but with touchy feely making out) and I don't like the feeling of getting turned on? when I get turned on I get scared. I'm afraid things have gone too far when that happens. I get this warning voice in my head saying "you won't be able to hold back. stop immediately."

and why am I on the watch list? I'm a kid, I don't know when I put something in the wrong place. I try to keep posts where they go..

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #28 on: Wed Dec 26, 2012 - 12:22:45 »
Quote
if I don't want a girl kissing me and running her hands over my chest and thighs, what am I suppose to do?

And there you have a great example of the double standard in our culture.  If you put your hand on a girl's thighs and chest, she could scream 'RAPE!' and off to jail you would go. Life forever on a Sex offender list. When it happens the other way around and you are the one uncomfortable with it, tough patudies. I agree that is not fair.

But I really am concerned about your fear of intimacy.  Not liking being the frustration of being turned on with no outlet for it I can understand; but not liking being turned on period is not how God designed you. Being afraid of things going too far I also understand (and avoided dating both in HS and college because of it) but since I masturbated frequently I enjoyed being aroused. Becoming sexually active with my wife was something I looked forward to a LOT.

I still suggest you sit down with someone and talk about all this.

Do your parents know of this fear? 

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #29 on: Thu Dec 27, 2012 - 11:10:59 »
Quote
if I don't want a girl kissing me and running her hands over my chest and thighs, what am I suppose to do?

And there you have a great example of the double standard in our culture.  If you put your hand on a girl's thighs and chest, she could scream 'RAPE!' and off to jail you would go. Life forever on a Sex offender list. When it happens the other way around and you are the one uncomfortable with it, tough patudies. I agree that is not fair.

But I really am concerned about your fear of intimacy.  Not liking being the frustration of being turned on with no outlet for it I can understand; but not liking being turned on period is not how God designed you. Being afraid of things going too far I also understand (and avoided dating both in HS and college because of it) but since I masturbated frequently I enjoyed being aroused. Becoming sexually active with my wife was something I looked forward to a LOT.

I still suggest you sit down with someone and talk about all this.

Do your parents know of this fear? 

well.. see.. the turned on part.. in a way I do like it. but I also hate the fact that I like it because I have a feeling that getting turned on will make me want to go farther. I think I may have been the one that caused that fear... yes. my parents know. they suggested I get an understanding girlfriend and just go very slowly (holding hands, giving gifts, etc) they said maybe if I find a girl that I really like, which there is actually one that makes my heart race. shes my closest friend, but she has told me before that she likes me. I would do anything for her, and I think my parents are right. I want to please her, so maybe I would kiss her if she wanted. what do you think of this idea? I feel confident around her and I kinda do like it when when hugs me and I get a little turned on.

and about being turned on, I guess I get scared because I feel dirty

Offline FlawedWings

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #30 on: Thu Dec 27, 2012 - 11:19:08 »
they said maybe if I find a girl I really like, I will feel differently I meant to say.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #31 on: Thu Dec 27, 2012 - 12:27:52 »
well.. see.. the turned on part.. in a way I do like it.
Good!


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but I also hate the fact that I like it because I have a feeling that getting turned on will make me want to go farther. I think I may have been the one that caused that fear...
OK I get that.  BTW, God DESIGNED that drive to make you "want to go farther."  But I can see how that can be scarey.

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yes. my parents know.
Good!

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they suggested I get an understanding girlfriend and just go very slowly (holding hands, giving gifts, etc) they said maybe if I find a girl that I really like,
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they said maybe if I find a girl I really like, I will feel differently I meant to say.
They are right but such a person may be difficult to find.

Going slow is good esp at your age.

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which there is actually one that makes my heart race. shes my closest friend, but she has told me before that she likes me. I would do anything for her, and I think my parents are right. I want to please her, so maybe I would kiss her if she wanted. what do you think of this idea? I feel confident around her and I kinda do like it when when hugs me and I get a little turned on.

Ok - that sounds like a possibility.  But at your age, it may be that ANY female may make your heart race as that is a hormonal response as it does trigger arousal.  So be aware of that.

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and about being turned on, I guess I get scared because I feel dirty

And that is a problem. This is what I was talking about in an earlier post. Thinking that sex or arousal and release is "dirty" is a lie from the devil.  God made it to be a blessing for marriage.

You are a teen aged guy. You will get erections.  You will experience an INTENSE need to release. IT is a function of the hormones in your body which are finishing up the job of physically maturing you. Your voice drops. You start to grow hair on your face and other places. Your muscles get larger.  Your bones thicken. And your male parts finish growing up too.

None of that is "dirty" but is part of the way God designed physical maturity to happen.

Offline Truthlady5

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Re: Adult help on sex
« Reply #32 on: Tue Jan 29, 2013 - 18:28:27 »

1Corinthians 7:3-5...The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband.  In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of our lack of self-control.

Here is what God Word gives us in this regard.  If you cannot fulfill this for your wife...you should not marry.


  I Agree !!!