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There is one other thing that needs to be considered.

Several periods of times past in Israel's history (such as the first trip to Sinai in Exodus) people were to "consecrate" themselves as a preparation for doubly purity period of time...and then go back to normal.

(no one could last long doing Temple duty...way too difficult)

So many of the Gentile believers were abstaining from any kind of sexual relations whatsoever. Even marriage. People were taking vows of celibacy thinking it was what had to happen in order to please God.

Paul also was telling them the urgency of the time and that the Gospel needed to be preached everywhere with fervor.

But it wasn't the end of the world...just a particular age that was coming.

These were Gentiles...all things of Judaism were a bit foreign to them to begin with and the few Jews running about were heavily tainted with the Law as they understood it....and not explaining things the best in the world to these people.

Paul wanted to set the record straight...Marriage is not a sin. Forbidding people to marry was.  Some people are cut out for the single lifestyle and some aren't...neither was wrong but one was richer in God than the other. (marriage takes time and focus to do well which takes time and focus off of witnessing and studying)

There were many cultural differences that had to be bridged...Paul was working against all kinds of misunderstandings.

Lets put it this way...

Your average guy in Ephesus would worship the Roman gods as part of normal business...which meant services of a prostitute were regularly engaged. The man would have a girlfriend and a wife. None of which was secret. Paul said for the men to Love their wives.
But men didn't love their wives...they were strictly for reproductive purposes...nothing else. Love was out of the question. They viewed Paul as a radical for this sort of suggestion. also the bit about wives respecting their husbands...also very radical idea to them as well...women were almost one step above property...

i think as long as you are in a committed relationship, sex before marriage is acceptable in god's eyes.  you guys clearly are committed to one another, so i wouldnt worry about it. 

lets face facts, god is supposed to love us all no matter what. 

and - what about people who cant get married but want to share their bodies with each other?  sometimes people just cant afford to get married.  are they supposed to wait??  what happens if they can never afford to get married?

surely god wouldnt want us to be lonely and unloved?

Hi, Rachel . . . I see this is still going. I am Bill . . . good to see you You asked, what is marriage? I'll offer a little of what I have >

Well, Mary and Joseph were engaged; and if Joseph was surprised that Mary got pregnant, then it would seem he had not been having sex with her so she could get pregnant. And they were a godly couple, I would say, who would do things God's way. If sex would have been ok, why wouldn't they?

"'If a young woman who is a virgin is betrothed to a husband, and a man find her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry out in the city, and the man because he humbled his neighbor's wife; so you shall put away the evil from among you.'" (Deuteronomy 22:23-24)

So, it is a death penalty offense to have sex with a virgin who is another man's fiancée. So, cheating while engaged is a death penalty offense. And it looks like while the woman is engaged, she is a virgin, though she is called her fiancé's "wife". If sex would be ok, why is she still a virgin? Well, it could be she is too young but has been promised, "but it doesn't say anything about the age of the virgin!"

I would say that marriage is when two engaged people end their virginity with each other. However . . . Paul in 1 Corinthians chapter seven was writing to Christians who would be family all together. So, couples who belonged together would be known to the others, and they would understand who was with who. And I would say ones would not go on to sex without first having agreement with their other Jesus family people. There would be accountability, not secret stuff. And the real leaders are approved by God; so if God trusts our really Christian leaders, He certainly expects us to trust them, too, including by obeying what they say about when sex starts > Hebrews 13:17. So, I would say marriage begins after there is oneness with trust with our other Jesus people whom we know God trusts, and when then we have sex.

"Because sex for Christians is not just a physical act, but in trust and intimacy with all our other Jesus family people. It is an act of love, which involves trust and honesty."

Oh wow, lol, I just realized this post from Rachel (the OP) was done over a year ago!!!! And she said she was good with it! (laughing)...well, glad to know.

Rachel, if you're out there in Gracecentered land, hope all is well for you these days!

Pre-marital sex is a sin.

And yet in the Old Testament with see David with a house full of wives and concubines as well as it was no secret that Tamara presented herself as a prostitute to Judah and yet the Bible does not condemn this, quite the contrary, it condemns Judah for denying Tamara his son and therefore heirs and Judah calls her righteous.

It doesn't seem so black and white to me.

This was an interesting read...however for the record, SEX IS ONLY RIGHT WITHIN THE BOUNDS OF MARRIAGE!!!!! Marriage is a covenant made between two parties before God, and witnessed by others (So there can't be a "we got married in the bedroom even though nobody was there with us, but God saw us")

"got married in the bedroom?"  I've heard of lots of things to do in the bedroom, but never that one...

I had a colonel once in the army who told me that if you have to explain your actions, it's an excuse.  That's exactly what that sounds like.  And just like Col. Potter, God won't accept excuses.

Yes could be a little crowded in the bedroom with the priest, family, friends, as well as the couple. lol. Mind you people do get married in the strangest places these days!
I suppose people will always try to find loopholes, but in this matter, there arent any. Get married THEN have sex. Simple.