Author Topic: Relationship help please!  (Read 2102 times)

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Offline walkbyfaith314

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Relationship help please!
« on: July 26, 2011, 05:04:56 PM »
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few weeks now.  This is kinda of awkward, but I've noticed that sometimes he gets an erection when he's around me.  It's usually when he's got his arm around me and pulls me in closer.  That's not really glorifying God, it's glorifying me.  We've talked about being honest about things that cause temptations or cause us to stumble, and I kinda just feel that he's not being completely honest with me.  I know he prays a lot about being pure and asking God to keep his mind pure.  I know he wouldn't act on something like this, but I just don't think it's keeping God at the center of our relationship.  Honestly, I think he's too embarrassed to say anything.  What do I do?  Do I say something when I see him next?  Do I say something next time it happens (maybe just that we shouldn't be so close, not necessarily referring to his erection)?  Do I just avoid him having his arm around me?  Or do I just wait for God to show him what to do? 

Offline anx

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Re: Relationship help please!
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2011, 08:20:59 PM »
You can talk to him about this, but it is totally normal and not something that he has to think about to happen. Attraction isn't usually something that you think about, it just is. Erections usually just happen when close to someone you are interested in. Especially if you pretty young.

I would mention it is some funny or non embarrassing way.

I used to ballroom dance when I was dating. We would both get dressed up and I was certainly attracted. We never talked about me having an erection, but its a pretty natural thing when you are interested in someone and close.

Offline chosenone

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Re: Relationship help please!
« Reply #2 on: July 31, 2011, 02:36:53 AM »
I agree with anx. Many young men especially get erections often, and being close to you is clearly starting one off. Its normal believe me, and as long as you don't let things get far physically then why worry? He is a normal man and it shows that everything is working properly.
Its nothing to do with lack of faith or spirituality at all. Just ignore it. Its not something that he can turn on and off at will.

Offline DaveW

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Re: Relationship help please!
« Reply #3 on: November 23, 2011, 09:05:54 AM »
It is normal.
It is not controlable.
He may not even be aware of it until it has already happened.

As a single man who presumably is abstaining sex, he is in a state of constant want/need. 

Think about it as food and he is on a VERRRYYYY long fast.  Do you think anyone could stop their stomach from growling or their mouth from salivating if they are near a nice meal, even if they do not intend to eat it?

In what way do you think he is not being honest?

Truth be told, if you find him attractive you may have an equivalent unconsious reaction and not be aware of it yourself.

That is all perfectly normal and the way God designed us to work.

happypromises

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Re: Relationship help please!
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2012, 12:25:52 PM »
I totally agree and think it would be embarassing and hurtful to talk to him aI were you, I'd be happy that everything is in working order and that he's vefy attracted to you.  Just know your limits and don't get into a compromised situation and all will be well.

I remember once early in our relationship I walked past my then boyfriend and patted him affectionately on the tummy...he had an almost instant reaction and had to leave the room....we just laughed about it later. I actually liked the idea of having that kind of 'power'.  That power will be a real blessing when you're married. ;-)

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Re: Relationship help please!
« Reply #4 on: January 22, 2012, 12:25:52 PM »