CHURCH FOOTBALL
 
 Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.
 
 Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.
 
 Half-time -  The period between Sunday School and worship when many choose to leave.
 
Benchwarmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently do anything but sit.
 
 Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.
 
 Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.
 
 Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.
 
 Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.
 
 Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime".
 
 Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.
 
 End Run - Getting out of church quickly without speaking to any guest or fellow member.
 
 Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.
 
 Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service or Bible study.
 
 Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the benediction.
 
 -- Author Unknown