Self-pity is selfishness. It, therefore, is destructive to our mind and spirit, because it makes us anxious, depressed, sad, dejected, bitter, jealous, angry and revengeful. On the other hand, when we think about the sufferings of others and try to help them, we find peace, because our focus is on others.
When others hurt us, they are hurting themselves, because their offense against us is a sin and sin hurts their spirit by cutting them away from God, and without God there is no life. If our response to is take revenge and retaliate, we too cut our self from God. On the other hand, if we forgive them and heal them through our prayers and acts of sacrificial love, we will find peace and joy during our hurt, because we will be one with God. Furthermore, our love for them may heal them and bring them back to God.
When Jesus was carrying His cross, he was not concerned about His own suffering. He kissed the cross and carried it without demanding any pity, because He was doing it out of love for us. Furthermore, when He met the women of Jerusalem, He was concerned about the suffering that was to come upon them, rather than the suffering He was going through (Luke 23:27-29). Similarly, he was concerned about the eternal life of those who were killing him. He, therefore, told His Father to forgive them (Luke 23:34).