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Author Topic: Can Women Be Elders?  (Read 34688 times)
Bonnie
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« Reply #135 on: November 11, 2008, 05:27:17 PM »

I'll get back to Jason's comments...but in reading through the thread to this point there seems to be a certain perception that is coming through, but maybe it's just the way I'm reading...


Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?

I thinks theres been some halfast logic in play over this issue, and not just on this thread.  I Tim. 2:12-14 appears to be the polar opposite "trump card" (to use Gary's referent as he did about Gal. 3:26-29 earlier in this thread) that is used to "put women in their place", so to speak.  From my reading and experience in the Lord, NO Believer is to "usurp" or "have authority" over any other Believer, male or female.  This backward reasoning also seems to be much of the basis of what is fobbed off as "male headship in the family", ie. "the guy's in charge".

Also, the word "authority" may not be clearly defined in this discussion.  Normally, when I see "authority" being discussed in this setting the equivalent Greek word that comes to mind is "excousia"--command style, top-down hierarchy--the kind that Jason is well used to from his experience in the Marines.  That kind of "authority" is the exact kind that Jesus said "not so" to. 

So, to reiterate; "Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?"  Or, is there actually a third path, *cough*, I mean, The Jesus Path?


V

The Jesus path is that men are to be responsible and serve their families and put the need of the family above their own (leadership).  The Jesus path is that qualified men are to serve their church families and put the need of their church families before their own (leadership).

 Amen!
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« Reply #135 on: November 11, 2008, 05:27:17 PM »

 
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kensington
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« Reply #136 on: November 11, 2008, 05:31:29 PM »

Bonnie... We are the church.  Our whole lives are about Christ.  It's not about when we are in a building.  We are the church.
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« Reply #136 on: November 11, 2008, 05:31:29 PM »

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Johnb
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« Reply #137 on: November 11, 2008, 05:43:11 PM »

Bonnie
If you look at the passages I mentioned they are all commands in the same way as women be silenent etc.
4Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Sounds like a command to me.

If you were not allowed to speak at a public gathering in the US, not allowed to vote, not allowed to speak a word of thanks to the president in the presence of a man and not allowed any voice in the decisions of the country would you be a second class citizen?  I say yes.
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Bonnie
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« Reply #138 on: November 11, 2008, 07:16:08 PM »

Bonnie... We are the church.  Our whole lives are about Christ.  It's not about when we are in a building.  We are the church.

True!
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« Reply #139 on: November 11, 2008, 07:24:55 PM »

Bonnie
If you look at the passages I mentioned they are all commands in the same way as women be silenent etc.
4Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. 15I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.

Sounds like a command to me.

If you were not allowed to speak at a public gathering in the US, not allowed to vote, not allowed to speak a word of thanks to the president in the presence of a man and not allowed any voice in the decisions of the country would you be a second class citizen?  I say yes.

As I said we practice that but some people don't.  What does that say to you about the ones who don't?  Some people take Communion every Sunday, some only do that once a year.

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« Reply #140 on: November 11, 2008, 10:11:01 PM »

"Paul here gives some reasons for why he teaches on women not teaching or exercising authority over a man. Have these reasons changed, did the woman being deceived, falling into transgression stop being a reality after that culture passed?"

Excuse me, but exactly WHEN did men stop being deceived and falling into sin in the body of Christ brother?  I have seen more men ruin the pulpit than women... 

This comment takes your side past the realm of reality and into fantasy... Men are sinless?  Give me a break.

I see now the heart of your theology... it is contrived from a male dominance idea, and probably stems from insecurity issues brought on by some sort of thing the mother did wrong in raising them.  UGH...   That's crazy Na Na
[/color]

Its interesting that all I have been doing is quoting scripture.


First you said that only a fool would say women cant teach, I hope that was before you knew Paul taught that so you can claim ignorance.

Kensington said:
A man who says a woman can't teach... is foolish.  I teach all the time, I teach truth to ANYONE who will listen.  I have no authority to make them submit to it...  the Holy Spirit in us does that.  If you reject the truth and say .. "You can't teach me, you are a woman"... 

Please...  do you not know GOD?  He can use a fisherman to teach or even a donkey to complete his will...  hey, he can even use MEN!!   



You teach all the time, I'm sorry to here that. If the truth you are teaching is anything like the truth you claim here then that is a scary thought. Do I not know God? I know God enough to know that He expects us to Love one another as ourselves, I know God enough to know that He inspired 66 books of the Bible to be written for our benefit so we wouldn't have to be in the World without a Guidebook, I know God enough to know that He expects obedience, I know that the Entire Word of God is eternal and infallible. I also know that Gods Holy Spirit would not lead someone to live contrary to the Word of God.

Kensington wrote:
Excuse me, but exactly WHEN did men stop being deceived and falling into sin in the body of Christ brother?  I have seen more men ruin the pulpit than women... 

This comment takes your side past the realm of reality and into fantasy... Men are sinless?  Give me a break.

I see now the heart of your theology... it is contrived from a male dominance idea, and probably stems from insecurity issues brought on by some sort of thing the mother did wrong in raising them.  UGH...   


I sincerely wish you could TRULY see the heart of my theology, because that would mean that you would understand that my only concern is that all Christians were striving to be as close to Christ as possible. I didn't realize I ever said men were without sin?? Oh wait that's right, I never did. Is this one of those teaching techniques you use, its very effective, I have been making the mistake of using scripture to back up my beliefs. This must be a part of the heart of my theology that you seem so insightful about. You say that my comment takes my side past the realm of reality into fantasy... Well it is a fantasy of mine that all would turn to God and accept His Gift that He gave us through the sacrifice of His Son that we might take that gift and give all (our prideful desires etc.)      to live for Him. I believe that we must die daily to the flesh and do our best to live for Him and By His Word. Just for the Record I believe that men and women alike, are sinful in nature and neither is more or less sinful than the other.

It is contrived from a male dominance idea, and probably stems from insecurity issues brought on by some sort of thing the mother did wrong in raising them.  UGH...   

I'm sorry you feel this way about me. I always thought I had the best mother in world, I will always feel that way and love her very much. She and my father raised me and my brothers to be obedient to the Word above all things and I thank God for giving me God fearing/loving parents.

We may disagree about doctrine and I hope this isn't always so, but I still love you and want the best for everyone on this website. I pray that all here are truly seeking Gods face and use His Word for a way to do this along with prayer and adhering to the Holy Spirit.


Titus 2:1-5

1.  But Speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: 2.  That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.  3.  The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not to given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4.  That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5.  to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.


speak sound doctrine - I believe that to be the teachings in the Bible, not in history or the things that culture would have us do.

aged women should be teachers of good things - again teachers of things that are in line with the biblical scriptures

That they may teach the young women - I believe here Paul explains to women one of the groups of whom they may teach.

obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. - To blaspheme the Word of God would be quite a sin.. maybe that is a hint from Paul that the things that he teaches are more than just a cultural issue, or would it be blasphemy to the Word to act contrary to cultural issues?

God Bless

Jason
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« Reply #140 on: November 11, 2008, 10:11:01 PM »

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Volkmar
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« Reply #141 on: November 11, 2008, 11:44:26 PM »

In green are quotes from Volkmar:


Wiley's assessment, which you quoted in green, is correct.  Wiley, Sherman,  and others, have given ample evidence to these things numerous times.  Most of the time the evidence is rejected because of;


because it isnt supported by the Bible.

So you say.  However, my perspective and understanding is not the ONLY one being challenged.  I am challenging your perspective because of your un-questioning allegiance to certain interpretations of many translators.  More later...


As Wiley and Sherman have already pointed out, the cultural norms of the first century (also before and after) demonstrate the realities of what God told Adam and Eve were to be the consequences of their rebellion.  That has been, and continues to be, the story of "the world", and unfortunately that worldly story has too often been in the "church story".  Paul and Peter often instructed Believers to not exercise their "rights" in Christ if that exercise would be offensive, especially to the "weaker brother" (and evidently this doesn't apply to women, because NO "weaker sister" is ever mentioned... ;o)  ) and cultural propriety was part of their instruction to the churches. 

So, it remains to us to discern what in the Epistles and Acts is prescriptive and what is actually descriptive. 


 1 Tim 2:12-15

12.  But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.  13.  For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.  14.  And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being quite deceived, fell into transgression.


Paul here gives some reasons for why he teaches on women not teaching or exerciseing authority over a man. Have these reasons changed, did the woman being deceived, falling into transgression stop being a reality after that culture passed? I will choose to listen to Paul and his teaching that were inspired by God and not the culture of his day.

Thier does not need to be any discerning where their is plain, straight foreward teaching , read verse 12, it isnt a very deep issue, pretty cut and dry. To me its similar to do not fornicate or murder or lie.

It might be that simple if 1 Timothy weren't such a "low context" document.  All of the epistles are much like listening to one side of a phone conversation...we have to infer and construct much of the in-coming conversation.  The letters to Timothy are especially one-sided in this way. (I'm not going to argue whether or not Paul actually wrote all of the Pastorals or not.)(btw, we know from internal evidence in I Cor. that the Corinthian ekklesia had received at least one letter from Paul prior to "1st" Corinthians.)  We don't know to any great degree what the questions were from Timothy which Paul is addressing.  Paul also makes statements in regard to specific individuals in his response to Timothy which Timothy must have directly understood even though the names of the individuals were not mentioned in the letter.  We do the same when we share a common personal history and experience--like when a jealous wife refers to another female who presents a challenge to the exclusivity to her husband, "THAT woman!!"

That "low-context-edness" is certainly at play in your I Tim. 2 citation.  I'll try to demonstrate the flow...

Notice that in vs. 9-10 "women" plural is used;
Quote
Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness.

Then, in vss. 11-14 Paul shifts to "the woman" or "a woman" singular;
Quote
A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.

 12But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.

 13For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.

 14And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
(NASV)

I don't think Paul was speaking in the "generic singular", that is, he wasn't referring to all women, rather, he was directing his remarks to Timothy in how to deal with a specific woman in the Ephesian ekklesia.  The addressed problem fits the cultural context of Ephesus, which contained the Temple of Diana where women were the authorities and men the subjects.   Verse 14 drives that point home; it wasn't the man Adam who was deceived, rather it was the woman who fell prey to Satan and transgressed.  (The only thing about vs. 15 which has general agreement is that vs. 15 lessens the impact of vss. 13-14.)

I don't know if Paul used spacing and punctuation when he wrote his letters, if indeed he did the actual writing (and we do know that he employed amanuensis from time to time).  The oldest manuscripts we do have are Uncials with no space between words, and certainly no chapter/verse demarcations (nothing you don't already know).  Given those realities, we, and the translators, make little more than leaping guesses as to punctuation, sentence beginning and endings, shifts in subject, etc.  I don't think translators have typically picked up on the shift between vs. 10 and 11.  Another example of institutionalized bias.  (The other example which we might dicuss is the "silence" passage in I Cor. 14.)

You may agree or disagree, but you do not have the latitude to say that my argument (or Wiley's or Sherman's, or johnb's or whomevers) isn't supported by the Bible.  And, to be blunt, the Bible doesn't support itself or interpret itself; only people interpret and/or support the Bible.  What you would prefer to be "cut and dry" and conform to your hermeneutical methodolgy isn't of the same nature as "fornication, murder, and lying", though it's apparent that you'd prefer to see all issues from the same level playing field of a Biblical Blueprintism which relies on proof-texting over against text plotting and Cononical criticism (which basically says that every part of the Bible must be interpreted in its relationship to the entire Canon and not just interpreted by authorial intent).

You might find this paper by N.T. Wright useful...A conference paper for the Symposium, 'Men, Women and the Church'

However, if you are of the opinion that Anglicans are "gets of Satan" then I'm sure it will be a waste of your time to read the paper.



"Biblical Blueprintism" is stultifying, not to mention that it constitutes an avoidance of actually living the way that Jesus modeled so that we could enter into the fullness of Life with the Father and each other.  Any system of hermeneutics that produces second class citizens within the Kingdom of Heaven is by definition a faulty hermeneutic


What I am suggesting in Obedience, nothing else. Obedience is more important than sacrifice...Are you saying that keeping withing the guidlines that paul left for us keeps us from living like Christ. Then whose guideline should we follow, our own discernment, ive never met someone discerning enough to live outside the Bible and inside the will of God at the same time, are you that wise and discerning in Gods will for you life to pick and choose what "guidelines" to take and which to ignore as cultural ideals.


I have no problem with obedience, or, at least no more than the next bloke.  I do think it's important to know what it really is that we are to obey, and even more important than the "what" is to know the "who".  Jesus did not "genderize" in any sense as has been common in His church.

As Samuel said, "It is better to obey than to sacrafice."  But, even better than obeying is to Love the Lord with all the heart, mind, soul.  If we have the grace to do that then all else will find its place, despite our mistakes.

To discern is not to live outside of the Bible...rather it is more like "rightly dividing" and is one of the gifts of the Spirit.  I'm not claiming infallibility, and I have not always believed what I've been attempting to articulate in this discussion, but I am at peace with my understanding at this point and with the Spirit of Christ within me.

We all "pick and choose" to some degree, even you.  Do you practice foot washing and snake handling and drinking poison in your assembly?


As Wiley and Sherman have already pointed out, the cultural norms of the first century (also before and after) demonstrate the realities of what God told Adam and Eve were to be the consequences of their rebellion.  That has been, and continues to be, the story of "the world", and unfortunately that worldly story has too often been in the "church story".  Paul and Peter often instructed Believers to not exercise their "rights" in Christ if that exercise would be offensive, especially to the "weaker brother" (and evidently this doesn't apply to women, because NO "weaker sister" is ever mentioned... ;o)  ) and cultural propriety was part of their instruction to the churches. 

So should we not speak against genocide or rape or homosexuality, because it may have been just a cultural thing and if we do speak out with the truth of Jesus Christ some person living in sin may be offended and we wouldnt want to make someone feel uncomfortable for living contrary to the Word of God would we. Jesus Christ didnt stop speaking against rebellion and disobedience when the pharasees and sudducees appeared, of did He?

And you miss the point.

Genocide, rape, homosexuality may be expressed in any culture, and in any cultural expression they are sin, anti-Christ, contrary to Life in the Spirit.

The most insidious kind of rebellion and disobedience that Jesus addressed with the Pharasees and Sadducees was their religiously justified disregard for God's intent.  By substituting the traditions of the Fathers they nullified the Word of God.  

Do you think that your understanding on this subject is penultimatly definitive and beyond modification?  



So, it remains to us to discern what in the Epistles and Acts is prescriptive and what is actually descriptive


I would never want to be included in the "us" of discerning the scriptured to mean something different for you than for someone else. God is the same..always.

When it comes to issues of "authority" in the church I'd always advise skepticism if that perspective of "authority" gets cross-wise with what Jesus said about "lording it over" in Matt. 20:25ff and if "authority" means that some so and so's takes upon themselves to be the Holy Spirit for other Believers.

"Authority" and "leadership" are not necessarily synonyms.  No Believer is to have command authority over any other Believer, rather, we are to submit ourselves to the Lord and submit outselves to each other.  Leadership among Believers becomes an organic reality where there is humbleness and submissiveness to the Lord and to the brethren.


Some can and do abuse authority, but we cant just pick and choose or "discern" away scriptures because they ruffle our feathers or are contrary to the way WE believe we should live, We are either in Gods will or not, in line with the Bible or not. God is not going to lead us astray from what He has already had written down for us as a guidebook for our lives.


finally I will end with this I will be back later must sleep and God Bless you.

Jason


Each person must determine what it is they believe and what they don't believe.  To blindly accept a group-think is not obedience, rather, that is conformity to the group.  Our "conformity" is to be conformed to Christ...not to a systematic theology, a  hermeneutic, not to a religion.  This conformity to Christ is a messy process, and difficult, and impossible by our own resources.

I too must get some sleep.  God's peace upon you also.


V
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« Reply #142 on: November 11, 2008, 11:48:05 PM »

"Well it is a fantasy of mine that all would turn to God and accept His Gift that He gave us through the sacrifice of His Son that we might take that gift and give all (our prideful desires etc.)      to live for Him."

You are right, while your fantasy may be sincere, it is sincerely fantasy... because we KNOW that the WORD of GOD says that men will be lost, that some will go to Hell. So, it is a fantasy to want the all would turn to GOD but, that we live and talk and teach a saving gospel that men might be saved, and always remember that men come to Jesus by the Holy Spirit, and not by us.

I'm sorry you feel this way about me.   Frowning

NOPE... I did not say this about you, I said it is the basis for the theology that you believe.  I think it is, it is a "copout" that has been widely accepted around the world and even in the body of Christ.  Men preach male dominance in the body.  Speaking a theology that says that women do not teach when they speak the word of God, and men do...  is just what that is.  I was being sarcastic and rude, I've had that "Male" only stuff shoved at me since I got saved, and I've watched men of God stand silent when teaching NEEDED to be given and if I had kept my mouth shut, a moment to witness and teach someone who might be saved would be lost.

You don't believe women should teach? But, you cannot be around the world to preach every day all day long, or teach, and it's proven the body of Christ has more women than men... and we need to be teaching the word.  Daily.  If you hold so fast to your rules that you miss that... THEN you will fall under that "mentality" that I compared your theology to.

Now, let me repeat myself... I am going to continue to teach the word of God every day of my life until He returns and I go home.  I am not going to shirk back, I am going to contend and strive for the Gospel, because the LORD is my covering.  That is all.  At least I can admit that I teach... women who jump on the band wagon to fall inline with that mentality and then I see them teach... what are they doing?  They are deceiving themselves.  Paul may not have suffered me to teach, but I do teach. Sorry Paul....  If you were the Savior, I might ask forgiveness... but you are not.

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« Reply #143 on: November 11, 2008, 11:57:10 PM »

I'll get back to Jason's comments...but in reading through the thread to this point there seems to be a certain perception that is coming through, but maybe it's just the way I'm reading...


Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?

I thinks theres been some halfast logic in play over this issue, and not just on this thread.  I Tim. 2:12-14 appears to be the polar opposite "trump card" (to use Gary's referent as he did about Gal. 3:26-29 earlier in this thread) that is used to "put women in their place", so to speak.  From my reading and experience in the Lord, NO Believer is to "usurp" or "have authority" over any other Believer, male or female.  This backward reasoning also seems to be much of the basis of what is fobbed off as "male headship in the family", ie. "the guy's in charge".

Also, the word "authority" may not be clearly defined in this discussion.  Normally, when I see "authority" being discussed in this setting the equivalent Greek word that comes to mind is "excousia"--command style, top-down hierarchy--the kind that Jason is well used to from his experience in the Marines.  That kind of "authority" is the exact kind that Jesus said "not so" to. 

So, to reiterate; "Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?"  Or, is there actually a third path, *cough*, I mean, The Jesus Path?


V

The Jesus path is that men are to be responsible and serve their families and put the need of the family above their own (leadership).  The Jesus path is that qualified men are to serve their church families and put the need of their church families before their own (leadership).

And women are not called to that?

V
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« Reply #143 on: November 11, 2008, 11:57:10 PM »

 
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« Reply #144 on: November 11, 2008, 11:58:11 PM »

Someone answer this for me...  It's simple Bible 101...

If a new born believer hears me talking or I know them, and they come to me and say... "you are older in the LORD than me, will you explain this passage to me"...  and I can, and I know I can, and I have that knowledge..  am I supposed to tell them "NO" am I supposed to say... "I am not a man, I can't teach you about the Bible"...   Because there is not one standing around?

Am I supposed to say... "WAIT... we must wait for a man for you to learn that in your baby walk"?  

Anyone?  This is what this theology is saying to me.. and I am not ready to just walk away from someone who needs something that way.
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« Reply #144 on: November 11, 2008, 11:58:11 PM »

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« Reply #145 on: November 12, 2008, 07:26:37 AM »

Kensington

You have the picture now.  I once preached at a church that had a bus program.  We could not have a woman teaching the children if a man was driving the bus.  She might be teaching him also.  How absurd. 
Again I ask is the NT a new rule book or law? 

If our theology is based on CENI.  We must follow all NT commands, and aproved example.  Logic demands it.  If not why not?  Who gets to choose which commands and examples we must follow and which ones we are free to ignore?  This is a theology based on human logic and rule keeping.  Simply can not work and has no chance of unifing Gods children,  
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« Reply #146 on: November 12, 2008, 08:10:56 AM »

I have missed Phoebe and Peck in this discussion.  I know Peck is not able to, but I am very surprised Pheobe has managed to avoid this conversation.
 Watching the show and eating popcorn
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« Reply #147 on: November 12, 2008, 08:56:18 AM »

I must admit my thinking on this subject is in a continual state of flux.  From a more male dominant view due to the obvious patriarchal themes in the OT and the analogy to Christ as the head of the church and the man/husband is the head of the woman/wife, to cultural considerations, to what was really the status of man/woman - husband/wife in the Garden of Eden, to the meaning of "authentein", to current cultural considerations, to well, OK, just no preaching or eldering for women, to the bottom line of good arguments on both sides of the issue.

I'm still listening and learning from many of you.  So if I'm learning from you, you're teaching me.
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« Reply #147 on: November 12, 2008, 08:56:18 AM »

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Bocephus
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« Reply #148 on: November 12, 2008, 09:10:43 AM »

I'll get back to Jason's comments...but in reading through the thread to this point there seems to be a certain perception that is coming through, but maybe it's just the way I'm reading...


Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?

I thinks theres been some halfast logic in play over this issue, and not just on this thread.  I Tim. 2:12-14 appears to be the polar opposite "trump card" (to use Gary's referent as he did about Gal. 3:26-29 earlier in this thread) that is used to "put women in their place", so to speak.  From my reading and experience in the Lord, NO Believer is to "usurp" or "have authority" over any other Believer, male or female.  This backward reasoning also seems to be much of the basis of what is fobbed off as "male headship in the family", ie. "the guy's in charge".

Also, the word "authority" may not be clearly defined in this discussion.  Normally, when I see "authority" being discussed in this setting the equivalent Greek word that comes to mind is "excousia"--command style, top-down hierarchy--the kind that Jason is well used to from his experience in the Marines.  That kind of "authority" is the exact kind that Jesus said "not so" to. 

So, to reiterate; "Do men have "authority" over women?  Or, is it that women are to not have "authority" over men?"  Or, is there actually a third path, *cough*, I mean, The Jesus Path?


V

The Jesus path is that men are to be responsible and serve their families and put the need of the family above their own (leadership).  The Jesus path is that qualified men are to serve their church families and put the need of their church families before their own (leadership).

And women are not called to that?

V

As overseer?  No.
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"Are you one of those Christians that you don't land in any church because none of them is right for you, none of them is biblical, none of them is good enough?  If you've been to 27 churches, and not one of them is right, just remember this you're the only constant variable.  It's probably you." - Mark Driscoll, from message "God Sends."
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« Reply #149 on: November 12, 2008, 09:47:22 AM »

Someone answer this for me...  It's simple Bible 101...

If a new born believer hears me talking or I know them, and they come to me and say... "you are older in the LORD than me, will you explain this passage to me"...  and I can, and I know I can, and I have that knowledge..  am I supposed to tell them "NO" am I supposed to say... "I am not a man, I can't teach you about the Bible"...   Because there is not one standing around?

Am I supposed to say... "WAIT... we must wait for a man for you to learn that in your baby walk"?  

Anyone?  This is what this theology is saying to me.. and I am not ready to just walk away from someone who needs something that way.

I think anybody worth their salt would help a young Christian in that situation. 
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