May I ask a few related questions for thought...
Is it equitable for us to say to those who would promote "following commands" out of love that they are legalistic and judgmental, while at the same time accusing those people of "forsaking commands" (like the assembly of believers), judging them as being "outside" of the body of Christ?
Both groups believe in commands to follow in obedience to God, so is it really fair to label one group as "legalistic" without labeling the other group as the same, or should we end the label altogether? We all believe in commands; rules that must be followed out of love, right?
As surely as one group can label the other as "legalistic" - and argue that the old law was done away with - the other group could counter-argue and say that the "command" to assemble together wasn't a command from God at all (a "thus saith the Lord") but was a plea by Paul for those persecuted members to remain united during their trial, while the commands from God are actual rules that Christ said do not pass away as long as heaven and earth remained and until ALL is fulfilled (and Christ's Revelation Book proves there are some that remaining to be fulfilled).
One could go even further and point out that many (though not all) of those who promote "assembling together" as a command also promote "paying tithes" as an active command...even though paying tithes was a part of the same old law that is argued as being "done away with", and even while Paul (the same who said "assemble together") says give whatever your heart tells you to give, whether money or not money; freely give whatever gift you have (Romans 12:6-9; 2 Corinthians 9:5-15). And yet for some, the mere thought of NOT paying tithes places them in fear of God's curses/wrath even though they have no fear of curses/wrath by not following God's other old commands. Was every law nailed to the cross except for the law about money?
Now I'm not saying assembling together or giving isn't important, I actually do both (though not in/to a church building)...but I think it's more important for all of us to be consistent with commands, isn't it (be Hot or Cold)?
But back to the topic, if I were to step back and ask, "true or false: 'loving God is to follow his commandments', is scriptural and is in the New Testiment", the answer would be "true". Is that answer judgmental? No...it's just a fact, and yet, some may feel judged by reading that fact.
And if I were to ask, "true or false: the saints of the end times (from Revelation...which many of us believe we're in or about to be in) are those who keep both God's commandments and Christ's testimony (Rev 12:17; 14:12)", the answer would be "true". Is that answer judgmental? No...it's just a fact, but still, some may feel judged by reading that fact and so respond with a defense against the person answering or drawing attention to the fact.
But what or who is really doing the judging?
Are we claiming that "anyone who would merely bring up the fact that scripture says loving God is following his commandments or that the end time saints are those who keep God's commandments AND Christ's Testimony, is - by default - judging another person"?
[which suggests that bringing up ANY fact is being "judgmental" because it offends someone, and so no one should profess ANY truth.]
...Or, is it the scriptures themselves that are judging us? The Holy Spirit alone convicting us (with complete authority to do so)?