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Author Topic: Why Are People Feeling Unloved  (Read 6662 times)

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Offline Bonnie

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Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:00:12 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???

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Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:00:12 »

Offline memmy

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #1 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:50:05 »
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #1 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:50:05 »

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #2 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:56:16 »
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #2 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:56:16 »

Offline Linkoln

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #3 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:05:59 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #3 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:05:59 »

Offline memmy

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #4 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:20:23 »
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?

By showing the love Jesus has for us, even though we are not perfect either.

We need to be open and honest with each other, and allow others to see our weaknesses, so that they will know that Christ does love us, even in our weaknesses.

There's nothing that rings truer than for those outside of Christ to see that when we who His, are honest and allow others to see that we fall down still, that they too can come to the Father and know that His love can still reach around all those weaknesses, and He is the One who can overcome them, not in any way that is in us, but it is He that is in us who makes us His own.

Blessings, Memmy

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #4 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:20:23 »



Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #5 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:21:29 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #5 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:21:29 »

Offline memmy

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #6 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:27:03 »
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Offline phoebe

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #7 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:08:26 »
With God's love and forgiveness a given to believers, I believe love of self is directly connected to forgiveness, which is directly connected to loving others. Self-forgiveness. We are unable to forgive ourselves for our own sins, and carry that over to others. We can't forgive others because we can't love them. We can't love them because we can't forgive ourselves. They may not seem connected, but I believe Jesus connects it with his command to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can't love ourselves unless/until we forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is simply letting go of past sins that we drag around with us.

There was an excellent film about the baggage we carry and the effect it has on our lives, I think it was called "The Mission," with Robert DiNero and Jeremy Irons. Highly recommend it.

As for why people feel unloved, a quick run-through of some of these threads would give a good glimpse. This is the picture of Christ we present to the world via cyberspace. We don't act very loving. People feel unaccepted, rejected, never measuring up, never good enough, not perfect enough. When we love ourselves, we are less hypercritical, less cynical, less angry, more patient, more tolerant (Scripture says to "put up with each other"), more loving.

"Love your neighbor" isn't the most important part of Jesus' words. It's "as you love yourself."

Offline Serenity432001

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #8 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:27:49 »
Excellent topic.  Thanks for starting this.  I've enjoyed everyones share.  Can't really add a lot but all thats been said really does reinforce why love is the greatest commandment.   

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #8 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:27:49 »

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #9 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:32:20 »
It can get bad when people go past the point of feeling unloved and just quit feeling.  As long as there is a conscious longing to be loved, there is hope. It's good to think we can be the type of people who give others hope.

Offline Jon-Marc

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #10 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:32:56 »
People feel unloved for various reasons. Mine goes back to my childhood days when my "dad" constantly told me I was useless and couldn't do anything right. He also said that a man never says "I love you" to anyone or shows any emotion. He was cruel and uncaring, and I learned nothing about love from him except that's it's earned, and I was never able to earn his love or acceptance.

The only attention I got from him was a severe beating on the back of my legs when I did wrong. Maybe I deliberately did wrong a lot just to get some attention from him--I don't know. That's why I find it difficult to think of God the Father as loving ME, because I don't feel worthy of being loved and never have. Also, the comparison of Jesus' love to a half-brother's love means nothing to me since my brothers didn't love me either. They were just as cruel to me as my dad. I was the youngest and was everyone's punching bag. Only the grace of God brought me through that reasonably sane.

Offline kmv

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #11 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:36:25 »
The World presents a false picture of Love.  In our particular time and place, the World says that love is a feeling, rather than an action.  It says that we are 'struck' by love-making love into a whim rather than a decision.  And the World tells us that we must earn that whimsical Love - with physical beauty or wealth or fame or perfection.

It seems to me that to contradict that lie, start with the decision.  Decide that you're going to act in love and then do so - even when you don't feel all that loving. 

Never focus so much on the message, or the action, that you lose sight of the person.  Presenting the Gospel is good, telling someone about Jesus is better.  Feeding the poor is good, having dinner with someone who's hungry is better.

Offline Wycliffes_Shillelagh

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #12 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:41:45 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???
Well, people have to see you doing something in order to feel loved.

The Head loves them all with a perfect love.
But the Body seems a little slow to act to day.

Offline broach972

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #13 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 15:46:01 »
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

Offline Linkoln

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #14 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 15:53:22 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.




I like when you said "word and deed." That is so true. The leadership in any church has to be sold out to loving the entire congregation and each other continuously. Many in leadership just want to hang out with a specified group and that is a shame. I can tell you as a Pastor that it is a blessing to know and fellowship with everyone we possibly can in our church. When people start being loved and cared for they will return that to others around them.

Offline James Rondon

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #15 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:07:18 »
I read the title of this thread, and the following passage from the Proverbs came to my mind:

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:5-6)

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #16 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:13:34 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?

No more today than anythime in history, but with the internet, reality programs on TV and radio, you hear of it more.  It is has been one of Satan's best methods of driving a wedge between the "Afflicted" and God. 

Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?

Absolutely!  Satan uses it to drive that wedge between the "Afflicted" and God, by making the "Afflicted" feel they are either unworthy of God's Love or that God has forsaken them.  In either case, the results are the same... The "Affllicted" turn away from God instead of Running to Him.

How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

I see it and read about it in emails a lot.  But, I am happy to say, it is the easiest type of problem to resolve, by simply showing them love and my building up their self-esteem.  Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.  Positive Autosuggestion can change a person's life for the better, and when used inconjunction with God's Love, will generate the most powerful positive change you will ever witness.  "You know John/Jane, I love you and I will be here for you, but do you know who loves you more?  God! God loves you!  and He loves you in a way that I, nor anyone else can ever love you.  Take my hand and kneel down with me, and let us pray together.  O' Heaven Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus.  Father, John/Jane needs to feel your love, your warmth, your guidance.  Let your love wash over him/her,  filling them with the Holy Spirit.  Let them feel the love of Jesus, and let Your Guardian Angels walks and be with them always.  In the name of Jesus, Amen."

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree?

If you are in Christ, you do it automatically.  You cannot help but do it.  You cannot pass by someone in need, or that is hurting, and not feel compelled to stop and say hello. 

Or are you too busy to care?

There are times when I felt I was too busy, but every time I did, I felt guilty.  So even if I am running late, I will stop. 

Too consumed with self?  No!

Any solutions???

Yes!  It begins with smiling and saying hello to everyone you meet.  It means opening a door, or helping someone reach for something that is high on shelf, or carry something that is heavy.  It means looking at people in the eye and reading their eyes (the window to the soul) and not just listening to their voice.  It means giving your elderly neighbor a hug and telling them you love them.  It means sitting next to the neighbor kid sitting on the curb crying and finding out why.  It means taking the first step,

Offline Charles Sloan

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #17 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:18:36 »
Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.

Interesting way of putting it...

Offline Serenity432001

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #18 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:59:42 »
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

I will ::hug:: and a  ::kissing:: and a ::smile::

Offline broach972

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #19 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:17:48 »
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

I will ::hug:: and a  ::kissing:: and a ::smile::

 ::blushing::

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #20 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:50:28 »
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?

By showing the love Jesus has for us, even though we are not perfect either.

We need to be open and honest with each other, and allow others to see our weaknesses, so that they will know that Christ does love us, even in our weaknesses.

There's nothing that rings truer than for those outside of Christ to see that when we who His, are honest and allow others to see that we fall down still, that they too can come to the Father and know that His love can still reach around all those weaknesses, and He is the One who can overcome them, not in any way that is in us, but it is He that is in us who makes us His own.

Blessings, Memmy

Never fear that the sinners miss seeing a single time when we fail or fall. They are watching our every move you can be sure.  It's when we try to hide these human failings from those outside or within see us as artificial and untrue.

Offline spurly

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #21 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:54:33 »
Why are people feeling unloved?  Because the body of Christ isn't doing their job!

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #22 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:08:20 »
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.

Offline Charles Sloan

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #23 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:13:31 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?

I would say because iniquity abounds. (cf. Mat 24:12)

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #24 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:36:41 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???

People feel unloved for many reasons and really God only knows. From first glance I could point to a variety of things in our families, in our culture and in this world, most caused by sin and it's deceitfulness.  Also, because there is evil in this world and we all have an enemy not wanting us to believe the truth from God that we are loved, worthy, precious and desirous to Him. We must remember that we too play roles in how others "feel loved" and therefore as we show them the love of God we must do so with wisdom, humility and consideration of their life circumstances, sometimes we are part of this problem, including churches and Christians themselves.

Yes, I do think this condition, as well as many others, does keep people from trusting, which can inhibit their ability to know Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.

I see the situation today bad, how bad, I don't really know. From some background in sociology that I have I would tend to think that over time, this feeling of being unloved has gone on since the beginning of time. I think it's vital to focus on loving people where they are at and walk with them and encourage them while on this earth to live for God.

To love those I know I am doing just what I mentioned, get to know people, their life and the truth of what goes on, their strengths, weaknesses, pains and fears and strive to pray for them, walk this road with them and show them the love of God through unconditional love, as best I can give. Freely loving, accepting and not shaming them for their place in life. I have been there and may be soon again.

Yes, I believe there is something we need to overcome, this sense of not feeling loved. I agree. No, I am not too busy to care, nor am I too consumed with self.

The only solution I would add would be what Jesus said ~

Quote
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22: 36-40

In order to love others, our neighbors, we must first love ourself. We must know we are loved, believe it, live it, use this truth as your guide to know that God loves you and because of this, you are truly capable to love others. To love oneself does not mean be consumed with self, but rather to honestly look at ourselves as we really are, broken people, admit our sins, weakness and struggles, confess, repent, find someone to hold you accountable, go to counseling/small group or whatever community you might need to find someone to pray for you, walk with you and guide you to deal with these feelings effectively. Not everyone needs to do things like this, yet I believe so often we need to, dysfunction in our understanding, our upbringing and life experiences shapes the way we see God and often that needs to be dealt with too. That I believe, is the first step. Once you deal with yourself as you really are and come to accept yourself in the same way, then you truly can love your neighbor. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, so if my heart is resting in the knowledge that I am loved then you can spring from this new reality and see the world with new eyes and find true mercy, grace and hope that you may have "known" with your head and experience joy which truly compels you to share the love of Jesus Christ.

That's my thoughts.



I really like your post.  It has lots of "action" that we as individuals can get our hands on and DO to show others the love of God.

Quote
People feel unloved for many reasons and really God only knows. From first glance I could point to a variety of things in our families, in our culture and in this world, most caused by sin and it's deceitfulness.   

The quote above from your post hits us as a society.  The problems are deeply rooted.  One instance from my own life goes back to childhood and maybe that's where most of the unloved feelings begin in many people.

I always knew I was loved.  My mother was always home every day when I came back from school with hugs and kisses and a snack.  We were a poor family and sometimes she did house cleaning jobs to help with bills but she always made sure to be home when my sisters, brother and I got off the school bus.  Nothing money could buy could have replaced her being there for us.
We had aunts, uncles and cousins going in any direction and all within walking distance.  I think that made an enormous difference in how we grew up to be adults.

marc

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #25 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:39:47 »
I tend to think people feel unloved more today than at any time in history.  Techonology distances us from others.  Our time, our minds are occupied.  Communities have broken down; families have disentigrated.  We have become a nation of islands.

One reason 9-11 affected everyone so much is that we came together as a community.  It's a shame that it took a tragedy to do this, and now we have drifted apart again.

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #26 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:01:47 »
With God's love and forgiveness a given to believers, I believe love of self is directly connected to forgiveness, which is directly connected to loving others. Self-forgiveness. We are unable to forgive ourselves for our own sins, and carry that over to others. We can't forgive others because we can't love them. We can't love them because we can't forgive ourselves. They may not seem connected, but I believe Jesus connects it with his command to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can't love ourselves unless/until we forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is simply letting go of past sins that we drag around with us.

There was an excellent film about the baggage we carry and the effect it has on our lives, I think it was called "The Mission," with Robert DiNero and Jeremy Irons. Highly recommend it.

As for why people feel unloved, a quick run-through of some of these threads would give a good glimpse. This is the picture of Christ we present to the world via cyberspace. We don't act very loving. People feel unaccepted, rejected, never measuring up, never good enough, not perfect enough. When we love ourselves, we are less hypercritical, less cynical, less angry, more patient, more tolerant (Scripture says to "put up with each other"), more loving.

"Love your neighbor" isn't the most important part of Jesus' words. It's "as you love yourself."


You could be right that many Christians don't love themselves or accept that God has forgiven them.  They can't enjoy the fruits of the Spirit because they don't feel loved.  These don't truly believe they are saved.

As for sinners who feel that way, it could be a multitude of reasons as to what has brought them there. IMO it mostly does go back to childhood.

Our Pastor and his wife are a young couple in their early thirties.  His wife has been in counseling for 10 years and on medication for depression.  She has been a born again Christian for several years but she can't come to terms or feel a release from her dad's sexual molestation from the time she was 9 years old until around 12 years old.  She confided in me and we have personal telephone conversations as this isn't common knowledge among the congregation.  I love her as my sister and friend and she knows I'm there for her when she needs someone to just talk to.  Other than what I'm doing plus praying for her and what she is doing by seeking help, I honestly don't know what else can be done... until she is ready to let go.  She's a lovely kind hearted person. I ask all Christians here to pray for her also.

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #27 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:20:36 »
People feel unloved for various reasons. Mine goes back to my childhood days when my "dad" constantly told me I was useless and couldn't do anything right. He also said that a man never says "I love you" to anyone or shows any emotion. He was cruel and uncaring, and I learned nothing about love from him except that's it's earned, and I was never able to earn his love or acceptance.

The only attention I got from him was a severe beating on the back of my legs when I did wrong. Maybe I deliberately did wrong a lot just to get some attention from him--I don't know. That's why I find it difficult to think of God the Father as loving ME, because I don't feel worthy of being loved and never have. Also, the comparison of Jesus' love to a half-brother's love means nothing to me since my brothers didn't love me either. They were just as cruel to me as my dad. I was the youngest and was everyone's punching bag. Only the grace of God brought me through that reasonably sane.

Jon-Marc, I love your post because of the honesty of it.  You are one proof that we can overcome our childhood problems.  A testimony like yours should give hope to everybody who grew feeling unloved.
Even though my mother was loving my dad was different.  I could never get his approval it seemed.  My mom died in 2003 and shortly after that dad was diagnosed with dementia Alzheimer's disease.  He's in the second stage.  Although he remembers us most of the time, he can no longer grasp much of reality.  I'm still trying to win his approval in any little way that I can.  I guess it's sort of unrealistic at this point.

God Bless You

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #28 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:39:01 »
The World presents a false picture of Love.  In our particular time and place, the World says that love is a feeling, rather than an action.  It says that we are 'struck' by love-making love into a whim rather than a decision.  And the World tells us that we must earn that whimsical Love - with physical beauty or wealth or fame or perfection.

It seems to me that to contradict that lie, start with the decision.  Decide that you're going to act in love and then do so - even when you don't feel all that loving. 

Never focus so much on the message, or the action, that you lose sight of the person.  Presenting the Gospel is good, telling someone about Jesus is better.  Feeding the poor is good, having dinner with someone who's hungry is better.

I can connect with the world's kind of artifical love well.  I straved myself into a pencil thin version of a girl who thought being like the "stars" would get me love and acceptance.  The love it got me was the kind that hurts and doesn't love back in a real sense as the love we know which comes from God.

When I got saved I learned that real love returns itself many times over. A group of us women from the congregation would clean the homes of the elderly and take meals to those who were sick or maybe just lonely. We played soft ball with the kids after church on Sunday, etc., that kind of love brings peaceful sleep to be sure.

I'm yaking too much in these replies and it's taking me so long.  I need to cut down.  They gave me a dial up connection to use when we got into the new place yesterday and it's very slow. I'm promised my DSL back within 7 to 10 days.

Yes, the kind of love that produces action on our part is what's needed.

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #29 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:45:51 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???
Well, people have to see you doing something in order to feel loved.

The Head loves them all with a perfect love.
But the Body seems a little slow to act to day.

So true, Jarrod.  We can talk about love from now on but that won't do any good.  It's like telling someone to stop being hungry and walking off and leaving them standing there.

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #30 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:53:34 »
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

What I like to hear!   ::hug:: ::hug:: ::hug::

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #31 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:00:05 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.




I like when you said "word and deed." That is so true. The leadership in any church has to be sold out to loving the entire congregation and each other continuously. Many in leadership just want to hang out with a specified group and that is a shame. I can tell you as a Pastor that it is a blessing to know and fellowship with everyone we possibly can in our church. When people start being loved and cared for they will return that to others around them.

Amen! brother.  I wonder if it's too far for me to travel to the church you Pastor.  ::pondering::   It probably is but we need more Pastors like you. IMO

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #32 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:05:56 »
I read the title of this thread, and the following passage from the Proverbs came to my mind:

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:5-6)

Oh my goodness, food for the soul!
Thank you, James, for the appetizer.  If only someone would feed us dinner.
 ::whistle::

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #33 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:08:35 »
Why are people feeling unloved today?

No more today than anythime in history, but with the internet, reality programs on TV and radio, you hear of it more.  It is has been one of Satan's best methods of driving a wedge between the "Afflicted" and God. 

Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?

Absolutely!  Satan uses it to drive that wedge between the "Afflicted" and God, by making the "Afflicted" feel they are either unworthy of God's Love or that God has forsaken them.  In either case, the results are the same... The "Affllicted" turn away from God instead of Running to Him.

How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

I see it and read about it in emails a lot.  But, I am happy to say, it is the easiest type of problem to resolve, by simply showing them love and my building up their self-esteem.  Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.  Positive Autosuggestion can change a person's life for the better, and when used inconjunction with God's Love, will generate the most powerful positive change you will ever witness.  "You know John/Jane, I love you and I will be here for you, but do you know who loves you more?  God! God loves you!  and He loves you in a way that I, nor anyone else can ever love you.  Take my hand and kneel down with me, and let us pray together.  O' Heaven Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus.  Father, John/Jane needs to feel your love, your warmth, your guidance.  Let your love wash over him/her,  filling them with the Holy Spirit.  Let them feel the love of Jesus, and let Your Guardian Angels walks and be with them always.  In the name of Jesus, Amen."

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree?

If you are in Christ, you do it automatically.  You cannot help but do it.  You cannot pass by someone in need, or that is hurting, and not feel compelled to stop and say hello. 

Or are you too busy to care?

There are times when I felt I was too busy, but every time I did, I felt guilty.  So even if I am running late, I will stop. 

Too consumed with self?  No!

Any solutions???

Yes!  It begins with smiling and saying hello to everyone you meet.  It means opening a door, or helping someone reach for something that is high on shelf, or carry something that is heavy.  It means looking at people in the eye and reading their eyes (the window to the soul) and not just listening to their voice.  It means giving your elderly neighbor a hug and telling them you love them.  It means sitting next to the neighbor kid sitting on the curb crying and finding out why.  It means taking the first step,

Great post, YHP.
I especially like the last paragraph.

Offline Bonnie

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Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
« Reply #34 on: Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:12:15 »
Why are people feeling unloved?  Because the body of Christ isn't doing their job!

Good summation, Spurly, but where are the answers as to how the Christians can overcome this problem?

 

     
anything