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Christian Interests => Theology Forum => Topic started by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:00:12

Title: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:00:12
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: memmy on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:50:05
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 10:56:16
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Linkoln on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:05:59
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: memmy on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:20:23
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?

By showing the love Jesus has for us, even though we are not perfect either.

We need to be open and honest with each other, and allow others to see our weaknesses, so that they will know that Christ does love us, even in our weaknesses.

There's nothing that rings truer than for those outside of Christ to see that when we who His, are honest and allow others to see that we fall down still, that they too can come to the Father and know that His love can still reach around all those weaknesses, and He is the One who can overcome them, not in any way that is in us, but it is He that is in us who makes us His own.

Blessings, Memmy
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:21:29
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: memmy on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 11:27:03
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:08:26
With God's love and forgiveness a given to believers, I believe love of self is directly connected to forgiveness, which is directly connected to loving others. Self-forgiveness. We are unable to forgive ourselves for our own sins, and carry that over to others. We can't forgive others because we can't love them. We can't love them because we can't forgive ourselves. They may not seem connected, but I believe Jesus connects it with his command to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can't love ourselves unless/until we forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is simply letting go of past sins that we drag around with us.

There was an excellent film about the baggage we carry and the effect it has on our lives, I think it was called "The Mission," with Robert DiNero and Jeremy Irons. Highly recommend it.

As for why people feel unloved, a quick run-through of some of these threads would give a good glimpse. This is the picture of Christ we present to the world via cyberspace. We don't act very loving. People feel unaccepted, rejected, never measuring up, never good enough, not perfect enough. When we love ourselves, we are less hypercritical, less cynical, less angry, more patient, more tolerant (Scripture says to "put up with each other"), more loving.

"Love your neighbor" isn't the most important part of Jesus' words. It's "as you love yourself."
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Serenity432001 on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:27:49
Excellent topic.  Thanks for starting this.  I've enjoyed everyones share.  Can't really add a lot but all thats been said really does reinforce why love is the greatest commandment.   
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: marc on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:32:20
It can get bad when people go past the point of feeling unloved and just quit feeling.  As long as there is a conscious longing to be loved, there is hope. It's good to think we can be the type of people who give others hope.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Jon-Marc on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:32:56
People feel unloved for various reasons. Mine goes back to my childhood days when my "dad" constantly told me I was useless and couldn't do anything right. He also said that a man never says "I love you" to anyone or shows any emotion. He was cruel and uncaring, and I learned nothing about love from him except that's it's earned, and I was never able to earn his love or acceptance.

The only attention I got from him was a severe beating on the back of my legs when I did wrong. Maybe I deliberately did wrong a lot just to get some attention from him--I don't know. That's why I find it difficult to think of God the Father as loving ME, because I don't feel worthy of being loved and never have. Also, the comparison of Jesus' love to a half-brother's love means nothing to me since my brothers didn't love me either. They were just as cruel to me as my dad. I was the youngest and was everyone's punching bag. Only the grace of God brought me through that reasonably sane.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: kmv on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:36:25
The World presents a false picture of Love.  In our particular time and place, the World says that love is a feeling, rather than an action.  It says that we are 'struck' by love-making love into a whim rather than a decision.  And the World tells us that we must earn that whimsical Love - with physical beauty or wealth or fame or perfection.

It seems to me that to contradict that lie, start with the decision.  Decide that you're going to act in love and then do so - even when you don't feel all that loving. 

Never focus so much on the message, or the action, that you lose sight of the person.  Presenting the Gospel is good, telling someone about Jesus is better.  Feeding the poor is good, having dinner with someone who's hungry is better.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Wycliffes_Shillelagh on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 13:41:45
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???
Well, people have to see you doing something in order to feel loved.

The Head loves them all with a perfect love.
But the Body seems a little slow to act to day.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: broach972 on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 15:46:01
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Linkoln on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 15:53:22
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.




I like when you said "word and deed." That is so true. The leadership in any church has to be sold out to loving the entire congregation and each other continuously. Many in leadership just want to hang out with a specified group and that is a shame. I can tell you as a Pastor that it is a blessing to know and fellowship with everyone we possibly can in our church. When people start being loved and cared for they will return that to others around them.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: James Rondon on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:07:18
I read the title of this thread, and the following passage from the Proverbs came to my mind:

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:5-6)
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: YHP on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:13:34
Why are people feeling unloved today?

No more today than anythime in history, but with the internet, reality programs on TV and radio, you hear of it more.  It is has been one of Satan's best methods of driving a wedge between the "Afflicted" and God. 

Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?

Absolutely!  Satan uses it to drive that wedge between the "Afflicted" and God, by making the "Afflicted" feel they are either unworthy of God's Love or that God has forsaken them.  In either case, the results are the same... The "Affllicted" turn away from God instead of Running to Him.

How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

I see it and read about it in emails a lot.  But, I am happy to say, it is the easiest type of problem to resolve, by simply showing them love and my building up their self-esteem.  Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.  Positive Autosuggestion can change a person's life for the better, and when used inconjunction with God's Love, will generate the most powerful positive change you will ever witness.  "You know John/Jane, I love you and I will be here for you, but do you know who loves you more?  God! God loves you!  and He loves you in a way that I, nor anyone else can ever love you.  Take my hand and kneel down with me, and let us pray together.  O' Heaven Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus.  Father, John/Jane needs to feel your love, your warmth, your guidance.  Let your love wash over him/her,  filling them with the Holy Spirit.  Let them feel the love of Jesus, and let Your Guardian Angels walks and be with them always.  In the name of Jesus, Amen."

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree?

If you are in Christ, you do it automatically.  You cannot help but do it.  You cannot pass by someone in need, or that is hurting, and not feel compelled to stop and say hello. 

Or are you too busy to care?

There are times when I felt I was too busy, but every time I did, I felt guilty.  So even if I am running late, I will stop. 

Too consumed with self?  No!

Any solutions???

Yes!  It begins with smiling and saying hello to everyone you meet.  It means opening a door, or helping someone reach for something that is high on shelf, or carry something that is heavy.  It means looking at people in the eye and reading their eyes (the window to the soul) and not just listening to their voice.  It means giving your elderly neighbor a hug and telling them you love them.  It means sitting next to the neighbor kid sitting on the curb crying and finding out why.  It means taking the first step,
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Charles Sloan on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:18:36
Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.

Interesting way of putting it...
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Serenity432001 on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 16:59:42
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

I will ::hug:: and a  ::kissing:: and a ::smile::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: broach972 on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:17:48
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

I will ::hug:: and a  ::kissing:: and a ::smile::

 ::blushing::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:50:28
Because the enemy lies, that's why.

The enemy won't keep them from our Savior unless we let him.

People tend to think they are not good enough to be loved, and that in and of ourself is true.

People need to see, and feel for themselves the unconditional love of our Father through His Son, and our Savior.

People need to be aware that God sent His Son to be that love of our lives, and when we finally find that True Love, we will be able to understand better how to love others ane feel loved by others ourselves.

True love comes from the comfort in knowing Him, not just knowing about Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Hi Memmy, good post!
How can we as individuals convince someone feeling unloved that what they feel isn't true?

By showing the love Jesus has for us, even though we are not perfect either.

We need to be open and honest with each other, and allow others to see our weaknesses, so that they will know that Christ does love us, even in our weaknesses.

There's nothing that rings truer than for those outside of Christ to see that when we who His, are honest and allow others to see that we fall down still, that they too can come to the Father and know that His love can still reach around all those weaknesses, and He is the One who can overcome them, not in any way that is in us, but it is He that is in us who makes us His own.

Blessings, Memmy

Never fear that the sinners miss seeing a single time when we fail or fall. They are watching our every move you can be sure.  It's when we try to hide these human failings from those outside or within see us as artificial and untrue.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: spurly on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 17:54:33
Why are people feeling unloved?  Because the body of Christ isn't doing their job!
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:08:20
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Charles Sloan on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:13:31
Why are people feeling unloved today?

I would say because iniquity abounds. (cf. Mat 24:12)
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:36:41
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???

People feel unloved for many reasons and really God only knows. From first glance I could point to a variety of things in our families, in our culture and in this world, most caused by sin and it's deceitfulness.  Also, because there is evil in this world and we all have an enemy not wanting us to believe the truth from God that we are loved, worthy, precious and desirous to Him. We must remember that we too play roles in how others "feel loved" and therefore as we show them the love of God we must do so with wisdom, humility and consideration of their life circumstances, sometimes we are part of this problem, including churches and Christians themselves.

Yes, I do think this condition, as well as many others, does keep people from trusting, which can inhibit their ability to know Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit.

I see the situation today bad, how bad, I don't really know. From some background in sociology that I have I would tend to think that over time, this feeling of being unloved has gone on since the beginning of time. I think it's vital to focus on loving people where they are at and walk with them and encourage them while on this earth to live for God.

To love those I know I am doing just what I mentioned, get to know people, their life and the truth of what goes on, their strengths, weaknesses, pains and fears and strive to pray for them, walk this road with them and show them the love of God through unconditional love, as best I can give. Freely loving, accepting and not shaming them for their place in life. I have been there and may be soon again.

Yes, I believe there is something we need to overcome, this sense of not feeling loved. I agree. No, I am not too busy to care, nor am I too consumed with self.

The only solution I would add would be what Jesus said ~

Quote
"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." Matthew 22: 36-40

In order to love others, our neighbors, we must first love ourself. We must know we are loved, believe it, live it, use this truth as your guide to know that God loves you and because of this, you are truly capable to love others. To love oneself does not mean be consumed with self, but rather to honestly look at ourselves as we really are, broken people, admit our sins, weakness and struggles, confess, repent, find someone to hold you accountable, go to counseling/small group or whatever community you might need to find someone to pray for you, walk with you and guide you to deal with these feelings effectively. Not everyone needs to do things like this, yet I believe so often we need to, dysfunction in our understanding, our upbringing and life experiences shapes the way we see God and often that needs to be dealt with too. That I believe, is the first step. Once you deal with yourself as you really are and come to accept yourself in the same way, then you truly can love your neighbor. Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks, so if my heart is resting in the knowledge that I am loved then you can spring from this new reality and see the world with new eyes and find true mercy, grace and hope that you may have "known" with your head and experience joy which truly compels you to share the love of Jesus Christ.

That's my thoughts.



I really like your post.  It has lots of "action" that we as individuals can get our hands on and DO to show others the love of God.

Quote
People feel unloved for many reasons and really God only knows. From first glance I could point to a variety of things in our families, in our culture and in this world, most caused by sin and it's deceitfulness.   

The quote above from your post hits us as a society.  The problems are deeply rooted.  One instance from my own life goes back to childhood and maybe that's where most of the unloved feelings begin in many people.

I always knew I was loved.  My mother was always home every day when I came back from school with hugs and kisses and a snack.  We were a poor family and sometimes she did house cleaning jobs to help with bills but she always made sure to be home when my sisters, brother and I got off the school bus.  Nothing money could buy could have replaced her being there for us.
We had aunts, uncles and cousins going in any direction and all within walking distance.  I think that made an enormous difference in how we grew up to be adults.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: marc on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 18:39:47
I tend to think people feel unloved more today than at any time in history.  Techonology distances us from others.  Our time, our minds are occupied.  Communities have broken down; families have disentigrated.  We have become a nation of islands.

One reason 9-11 affected everyone so much is that we came together as a community.  It's a shame that it took a tragedy to do this, and now we have drifted apart again.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:01:47
With God's love and forgiveness a given to believers, I believe love of self is directly connected to forgiveness, which is directly connected to loving others. Self-forgiveness. We are unable to forgive ourselves for our own sins, and carry that over to others. We can't forgive others because we can't love them. We can't love them because we can't forgive ourselves. They may not seem connected, but I believe Jesus connects it with his command to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can't love ourselves unless/until we forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is simply letting go of past sins that we drag around with us.

There was an excellent film about the baggage we carry and the effect it has on our lives, I think it was called "The Mission," with Robert DiNero and Jeremy Irons. Highly recommend it.

As for why people feel unloved, a quick run-through of some of these threads would give a good glimpse. This is the picture of Christ we present to the world via cyberspace. We don't act very loving. People feel unaccepted, rejected, never measuring up, never good enough, not perfect enough. When we love ourselves, we are less hypercritical, less cynical, less angry, more patient, more tolerant (Scripture says to "put up with each other"), more loving.

"Love your neighbor" isn't the most important part of Jesus' words. It's "as you love yourself."


You could be right that many Christians don't love themselves or accept that God has forgiven them.  They can't enjoy the fruits of the Spirit because they don't feel loved.  These don't truly believe they are saved.

As for sinners who feel that way, it could be a multitude of reasons as to what has brought them there. IMO it mostly does go back to childhood.

Our Pastor and his wife are a young couple in their early thirties.  His wife has been in counseling for 10 years and on medication for depression.  She has been a born again Christian for several years but she can't come to terms or feel a release from her dad's sexual molestation from the time she was 9 years old until around 12 years old.  She confided in me and we have personal telephone conversations as this isn't common knowledge among the congregation.  I love her as my sister and friend and she knows I'm there for her when she needs someone to just talk to.  Other than what I'm doing plus praying for her and what she is doing by seeking help, I honestly don't know what else can be done... until she is ready to let go.  She's a lovely kind hearted person. I ask all Christians here to pray for her also.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:20:36
People feel unloved for various reasons. Mine goes back to my childhood days when my "dad" constantly told me I was useless and couldn't do anything right. He also said that a man never says "I love you" to anyone or shows any emotion. He was cruel and uncaring, and I learned nothing about love from him except that's it's earned, and I was never able to earn his love or acceptance.

The only attention I got from him was a severe beating on the back of my legs when I did wrong. Maybe I deliberately did wrong a lot just to get some attention from him--I don't know. That's why I find it difficult to think of God the Father as loving ME, because I don't feel worthy of being loved and never have. Also, the comparison of Jesus' love to a half-brother's love means nothing to me since my brothers didn't love me either. They were just as cruel to me as my dad. I was the youngest and was everyone's punching bag. Only the grace of God brought me through that reasonably sane.

Jon-Marc, I love your post because of the honesty of it.  You are one proof that we can overcome our childhood problems.  A testimony like yours should give hope to everybody who grew feeling unloved.
Even though my mother was loving my dad was different.  I could never get his approval it seemed.  My mom died in 2003 and shortly after that dad was diagnosed with dementia Alzheimer's disease.  He's in the second stage.  Although he remembers us most of the time, he can no longer grasp much of reality.  I'm still trying to win his approval in any little way that I can.  I guess it's sort of unrealistic at this point.

God Bless You
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:39:01
The World presents a false picture of Love.  In our particular time and place, the World says that love is a feeling, rather than an action.  It says that we are 'struck' by love-making love into a whim rather than a decision.  And the World tells us that we must earn that whimsical Love - with physical beauty or wealth or fame or perfection.

It seems to me that to contradict that lie, start with the decision.  Decide that you're going to act in love and then do so - even when you don't feel all that loving. 

Never focus so much on the message, or the action, that you lose sight of the person.  Presenting the Gospel is good, telling someone about Jesus is better.  Feeding the poor is good, having dinner with someone who's hungry is better.

I can connect with the world's kind of artifical love well.  I straved myself into a pencil thin version of a girl who thought being like the "stars" would get me love and acceptance.  The love it got me was the kind that hurts and doesn't love back in a real sense as the love we know which comes from God.

When I got saved I learned that real love returns itself many times over. A group of us women from the congregation would clean the homes of the elderly and take meals to those who were sick or maybe just lonely. We played soft ball with the kids after church on Sunday, etc., that kind of love brings peaceful sleep to be sure.

I'm yaking too much in these replies and it's taking me so long.  I need to cut down.  They gave me a dial up connection to use when we got into the new place yesterday and it's very slow. I'm promised my DSL back within 7 to 10 days.

Yes, the kind of love that produces action on our part is what's needed.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:45:51
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???
Well, people have to see you doing something in order to feel loved.

The Head loves them all with a perfect love.
But the Body seems a little slow to act to day.

So true, Jarrod.  We can talk about love from now on but that won't do any good.  It's like telling someone to stop being hungry and walking off and leaving them standing there.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 19:53:34
I feel loved...

Now, who wants to give me a big hug?....   ::hug::

What I like to hear!   ::hug:: ::hug:: ::hug::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:00:05
Why are people feeling unloved today?
Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?
How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree? Or are you too busy to care?  Too consumed with self?

Any solutions???




I am so thankful that you started this thread! This is something that has been on my mind since the beginning of 2008. I think part of the problem is that we are not loving each other in the church as we should. I just recently read a statistic about the percentage of those who attend church who actually read their bibles with regularity and it frightened me. Transformation starts by reading God's word. When we read God's word conviction definitely comes. It is our choice whether we give into that conviction or not.

The fruit of the Spirit is definitely lacking. When people are not loving each other in the church the world sees this and they have no reason to join in. If we would start truly extending grace to each other in the church we would be more apt do do this outside of the church. My wife and I made a commitment in January to watch our words carefully and to start loving people in ways that we ourselves long to be loved. I think it is going to take congregations who want to see God's love dominate their fellowship and who are willing to do whatever that takes.

You asked if we are too consumed with ourselves. The answer is; YES! But those of us who are leaders in our churches have to model biblical Christianity to the rest of the congregation if we are going to see results.

Amen, brother! You sound very concerned and trying your best which is all anyone can do.
So you see a part of loving each other is showing it in word and deed.  Also as getting the congregation to read and study more.  I understand your job as Pastor in the same way I understand the love Apostle Paul showed by teaching the truth even when it's not popular.

I know for myself that church is not always a place to find loving fellowship.  Many times everyone is in such a hurry to go eat or go home, etc., that we don't give the time we should to each other.
The trouble is we need others who are willing to give of themselves in order for this to work.




I like when you said "word and deed." That is so true. The leadership in any church has to be sold out to loving the entire congregation and each other continuously. Many in leadership just want to hang out with a specified group and that is a shame. I can tell you as a Pastor that it is a blessing to know and fellowship with everyone we possibly can in our church. When people start being loved and cared for they will return that to others around them.

Amen! brother.  I wonder if it's too far for me to travel to the church you Pastor.  ::pondering::   It probably is but we need more Pastors like you. IMO
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:05:56
I read the title of this thread, and the following passage from the Proverbs came to my mind:

"Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." (Proverbs 27:5-6)

Oh my goodness, food for the soul!
Thank you, James, for the appetizer.  If only someone would feed us dinner.
 ::whistle::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:08:35
Why are people feeling unloved today?

No more today than anythime in history, but with the internet, reality programs on TV and radio, you hear of it more.  It is has been one of Satan's best methods of driving a wedge between the "Afflicted" and God. 

Is that condition keeping them from the Saviour?

Absolutely!  Satan uses it to drive that wedge between the "Afflicted" and God, by making the "Afflicted" feel they are either unworthy of God's Love or that God has forsaken them.  In either case, the results are the same... The "Affllicted" turn away from God instead of Running to Him.

How bad do you see this unloved situation today?

I see it and read about it in emails a lot.  But, I am happy to say, it is the easiest type of problem to resolve, by simply showing them love and my building up their self-esteem.  Autosuggestion, is a very passive, yet, very powerful way of brainwashing someone.  Positive Autosuggestion can change a person's life for the better, and when used inconjunction with God's Love, will generate the most powerful positive change you will ever witness.  "You know John/Jane, I love you and I will be here for you, but do you know who loves you more?  God! God loves you!  and He loves you in a way that I, nor anyone else can ever love you.  Take my hand and kneel down with me, and let us pray together.  O' Heaven Father, we come to you in the name of Jesus.  Father, John/Jane needs to feel your love, your warmth, your guidance.  Let your love wash over him/her,  filling them with the Holy Spirit.  Let them feel the love of Jesus, and let Your Guardian Angels walks and be with them always.  In the name of Jesus, Amen."

Tell us what you believe and what you are doing to love somebody.
As Christians we need to understand and overcome this problem, don't you agree?

If you are in Christ, you do it automatically.  You cannot help but do it.  You cannot pass by someone in need, or that is hurting, and not feel compelled to stop and say hello. 

Or are you too busy to care?

There are times when I felt I was too busy, but every time I did, I felt guilty.  So even if I am running late, I will stop. 

Too consumed with self?  No!

Any solutions???

Yes!  It begins with smiling and saying hello to everyone you meet.  It means opening a door, or helping someone reach for something that is high on shelf, or carry something that is heavy.  It means looking at people in the eye and reading their eyes (the window to the soul) and not just listening to their voice.  It means giving your elderly neighbor a hug and telling them you love them.  It means sitting next to the neighbor kid sitting on the curb crying and finding out why.  It means taking the first step,

Great post, YHP.
I especially like the last paragraph.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:12:15
Why are people feeling unloved?  Because the body of Christ isn't doing their job!

Good summation, Spurly, but where are the answers as to how the Christians can overcome this problem?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:16:40
Why are people feeling unloved today?

I would say because iniquity abounds. (cf. Mat 24:12)

I think that's one of the problems too.  We might as well get used to it.  Only when Jesus comes will we have true justice.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Wed Apr 30, 2008 - 20:41:25
I tend to think people feel unloved more today than at any time in history.  Techonology distances us from others.  Our time, our minds are occupied.  Communities have broken down; families have disentigrated.  We have become a nation of islands.

One reason 9-11 affected everyone so much is that we came together as a community.  It's a shame that it took a tragedy to do this, and now we have drifted apart again.

Yep, Marc, I think the old ways nurtured us.  Most people are too busy today. If we're honest we'll realize that pride, greed and power have overtaken mankind in a horrendous way.
911 did bring our nation together and many sought out the Lord.  Much like a death in the family will bring out of touch relatives together.  It's sad that it takes something like that.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: memmy on Thu May 01, 2008 - 06:15:02
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to "do", ( do something, conditional)  in order to be "done to". (be loved by God.)

Sorry that wasn't clear. 

Also, I was agreeing with Linkoln, just adding my thoughts to his. I guess that didn't look as clear either.

This is an interesting topic.

Blessings, Memmy
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: memmy on Thu May 01, 2008 - 06:17:23
I tend to think people feel unloved more today than at any time in history.  Techonology distances us from others.  Our time, our minds are occupied.  Communities have broken down; families have disentigrated.  We have become a nation of islands.

One reason 9-11 affected everyone so much is that we came together as a community.  It's a shame that it took a tragedy to do this, and now we have drifted apart again.

Sure is.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 06:56:36
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to "do", ( do something, conditional)  in order to be "done to". (be loved by God.)

Sorry that wasn't clear. 

Also, I was agreeing with Linkoln, just adding my thoughts to his. I guess that didn't look as clear either.

This is an interesting topic.

Blessings, Memmy

It's been very interesting.  We still don't have many clear cut ways of how to show love though.  The little things we can do as has been posted add up to big things I think when we do them.

It's unconditional when we realize we have nothing to give Christ to save us and that it's all His doing on the Cross.  It's free for all who call upon His name in belief and in repentance.

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.
God bless you, Memmy.

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Allegiance on Thu May 01, 2008 - 10:00:34
I think, partly based of what I see in school, would be that everyone is trying to become better, some want to be like the celebs and actors. Sometimes, people start to act very self-centered and care less about true friendship then others are usually left out of cliques and want in. People are less caring so don't want you to be with them because you don't wear $79.99 Hollister clothing, and some people can't afford that, don't like it or whatever. Then add the discouragements by the enemy and some people are depressed. This applies kind of to high-schoolers and young people but can also be for older I suppose.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 10:16:31
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to "do", ( do something, conditional)  in order to be "done to". (be loved by God.)

Sorry that wasn't clear. 

Also, I was agreeing with Linkoln, just adding my thoughts to his. I guess that didn't look as clear either.

This is an interesting topic.

Blessings, Memmy

It's been very interesting.  We still don't have many clear cut ways of how to show love though.  The little things we can do as has been posted add up to big things I think when we do them.

It's unconditional when we realize we have nothing to give Christ to save us and that it's all His doing on the Cross.  It's free for all who call upon His name in belief and in repentance.

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.
God bless you, Memmy.



"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."

A condition for what?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 10:42:51
I think, partly based of what I see in school, would be that everyone is trying to become better, some want to be like the celebs and actors. Sometimes, people start to act very self-centered and care less about true friendship then others are usually left out of cliques and want in. People are less caring so don't want you to be with them because you don't wear $79.99 Hollister clothing, and some people can't afford that, don't like it or whatever. Then add the discouragements by the enemy and some people are depressed. This applies kind of to high-schoolers and young people but can also be for older I suppose.

School is very hard on some of us.  I think feeling left out for no good reason causes a very deep hurt.  There's the cliques as you say and they are in every age group but it does seem to matter more in our teenage years.  Being a teen is difficult enough without the added pressure from these groups to be perfect, beautiful and wearing designer clothers.  They have it all wrong while thinking they're so hot.

I get depressed myself usually over things I can't change.  I have to just leave all my problems at the feet of Jesus.  Praying, telling him all about it and saying Lord, it's too much, too big for me.  Please take care of it, Jesus.
Sometimes it seems like He is the only friend I've got. He is always there and He always cares.  He's not a God afar off who can't be touched by our hurts, concerns and needs.

Many problems in this life won't go away but it sure makes it easier to depend on our blessed Saviour.

God Bless You    ::hug::
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 10:48:08
Linkoln, I believe that God is calling us to love more, and when we are His, we will hear that, as is being talked about here on this forum.

We meet alot of opposition to "love" topics, but we really should know that because God is Love, that this is what will be met in opposition by the enemy.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

It's faith first, because in that is where we are made righteous, not by what we do, but what is done in us. Faith in  Christ Jesus through God and what He is capable of doing in us.

If we truly believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

I think the brother has shown much humility and love in his post. He's concerned enough as a Pastor to keep trying to think of more ways to help the congregations.

Quote
Many of us still believe the lies that we have to do, in order to be done to. That is the lie of all lies.

This quote from your post above is what I don't understand the meaning of.

Many of us still believe the lies that we have to "do", ( do something, conditional)  in order to be "done to". (be loved by God.)

Sorry that wasn't clear. 

Also, I was agreeing with Linkoln, just adding my thoughts to his. I guess that didn't look as clear either.

This is an interesting topic.

Blessings, Memmy

It's been very interesting.  We still don't have many clear cut ways of how to show love though.  The little things we can do as has been posted add up to big things I think when we do them.

It's unconditional when we realize we have nothing to give Christ to save us and that it's all His doing on the Cross.  It's free for all who call upon His name in belief and in repentance.

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.
God bless you, Memmy.



"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."

A condition for what?


I would think that is obvious and I don't mean to insult anyone.  As Christians I believe it's only natural to love God back.  If we don't love God, how can we say we know Him or belong to Him?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: marc on Thu May 01, 2008 - 10:54:36
Just throwing this out, but could it be said to be a condition of us belonging to Him but not a condition of His loving us and wanting us to belong to Him?  Does that make any sense?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 11:19:03
....

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.
God bless you, Memmy.



"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."

A condition for what?


I would think that is obvious and I don't mean to insult anyone.  As Christians I believe it's only natural to love God back.  If we don't love God, how can we say we know Him or belong to Him?

It isn't obvious to me. I am not insulted. What you say in this post is true for some people, but not all. Some people fear God, rather than love Him. And, it doesn't answer my question. What is the "condition"? If we don't love God, as in the case of those who fear, what is the consequence of failing to live up to this "condition"?

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 11:24:31
Just throwing this out, but could it be said to be a condition of us belonging to Him but not a condition of His loving us and wanting us to belong to Him?  Does that make any sense?

I follow you, and it makes sense, but I don't necessarily agree with you.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: marc on Thu May 01, 2008 - 11:31:14
I don't have time to explain much right now, but from the post before I think you may be thinking of what loving God means a little differently than I am.  I don't think our love for Him is anything like a complete, never-moving love.  I think it tends to be as imperfect as we are.  I just think that following Him and belonging to Him means that we make the choice and are drawn to Him.


I wasn't really thinking of the fear aspect.  I'll post something about that when I have time.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 11:59:07
Just throwing this out, but could it be said to be a condition of us belonging to Him but not a condition of His loving us and wanting us to belong to Him?  Does that make any sense?

Yes, it makes plenty of sense.  Jesus died for us and at the time very few loved him.  The condition comes in after we are saved.  If we didn't love God back I don't think we would want anything to do with Him.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 12:11:32
....

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.
God bless you, Memmy.



"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."

A condition for what?


I would think that is obvious and I don't mean to insult anyone.  As Christians I believe it's only natural to love God back.  If we don't love God, how can we say we know Him or belong to Him?

It isn't obvious to me. I am not insulted. What you say in this post is true for some people, but not all. Some people fear God, rather than love Him. And, it doesn't answer my question. What is the "condition"? If we don't love God, as in the case of those who fear, what is the consequence of failing to live up to this "condition"?



I'm not at all sure I know what you are saying.  We should have fear, a Godly reverence.  A person may be afraid and seek the Lord to stay out of hell.  I think that's a wise decision for the Bible says it's a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. We're to work out our soul's Salvation with fear and trembling.
After we're saved, we don't need to have "a scared to death" kind of fear of the Lord.  He's our best friend and Saviour and we have a Godly reverence, respect for Him.
I can't see how anyone would think they could be saved and not love God back.  I've never heard of this one before.
Why wouldn't you love the one who saved your soul?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 12:47:37
There are plenty who fear God more than love Him. But that isn't the question. That's a little off-track.

You used the word "condition" ref: "God does require that we love Him back." A condition means that if the condition isn't met, there is a consequence. What is the consequence of not meeting the condition?

Maybe if I try to tell you how I understand all this works, you can tell me how it differs from your thinking.

We are told to love God with all of our being - heart, mind, soul, strength. We are told that God is a jealous God, that we are to place nothing and no one before Him. We are told to love each other the same way that Christ loves us - which was unconditional and complete to the point of death.That places us where - at the very bottom. That is love. God IS love. He placed Himself - because of the this love - in the form of the Human Being, Jesus, at the bottom of that heap. He is at both places, top and bottom. Love is at the bottom. Loved is at the top.

I don't see it as being 'love the one that saved my soul'. That is a love born of gratitude. It probably includes that, but is not the foundation of it. I see it as a choice to place God above all else, above anything else, above everyone else. Any other place is unacceptable to Him. The reverse of God at the top is God at the bottom and self at the top. This is what we are seeing more and more.

He does require that we love Him. Without condition. I think it is evidence that we belong to Him.

These are my thoughts, as incomplete as they are. He is more than I can wrap myself around.


My question to you remains, what are the consequences of not loving God? Perhaps if "love God" were defined, that would make the question clearer.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Harold on Thu May 01, 2008 - 16:06:06
I'll start with sensuality, we have been taught to feel loved, and you will be loved. You will get the response you are seeking in yourself.......

Do you love unconditionally everyone you know, or don't know?

Do you love your enemies?

When we become love, which is unconditional love for all, then we will feel loved. As my sister Phoebe pointed out, until you know you are forgiven you will not grow in Christ. You will always feel less, rather than more, loved. You will think love is conditional. True love is never conditional.

God loved us while we were yet sinners, there is no greater love than His love, He laid down His life for me.

Love the Lord  your God, because He is...

Love your neighbor as yourself, because they are.....

Love your brothers and sisters sacrificially, because you should......

FTL
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 16:07:11
Quote
There are plenty who fear God more than love Him. But that isn't the question. That's a little off-track.

I know of many people who seem to have no fear of God or anything else.  The devil has them blinded.  A man my husband works with will come to church once in a great while because we ask him to.  He stands gripping the back of the pew and cries but he won't accept Christ.  Something is holding him back, something in the world that he doesn't want to give up, that he loves more than God.

Quote
You used the word "condition" ref: "God does require that we love Him back." A condition means that if the condition isn't met, there is a consequence. What is the consequence of not meeting the condition?

I doubt anybody who doesn't love God will live for Him.  I think we must love Him or we wouldn't seek Himwant Him in our life.

Quote
Maybe if I try to tell you how I understand all this works, you can tell me how it differs from your thinking.

We are told to love God with all of our being - heart, mind, soul, strength. We are told that God is a jealous God, that we are to place nothing and no one before Him. We are told to love each other the same way that Christ loves us - which was unconditional and complete to the point of death.That places us where - at the very bottom. That is love. God IS love. He placed Himself - because of the this love - in the form of the Human Being, Jesus, at the bottom of that heap. He is at both places, top and bottom. Love is at the bottom. Loved is at the top.

Yes, that is the first commandment to love God with all of our mind, strength and soul.  Don't you love God?  Honestly, I've never met a Christian who has a problem of loving God and I don't know what to tell you.  The Bible tells us that it's not everyone who cries Lord, Lord but the ones who do the Will of the Father who will make it into heaven.

Quote
I don't see it as being 'love the one that saved my soul'. That is a love born of gratitude. It probably includes that, but is not the foundation of it. I see it as a choice to place God above all else, above anything else, above everyone else. Any other place is unacceptable to Him. The reverse of God at the top is God at the bottom and self at the top. This is what we are seeing more and more.
[/quote]

The paragraph here in the quote you explain loving God. You know He must come first. What else is there to understand?
You also call loving and putting Him first is as a choice.  It is a choice and as Christians we gladly do that.  We owe everything to Him.


Quote
He does require that we love Him. Without condition. I think it is evidence that we belong to Him.

These are my thoughts, as incomplete as they are. He is more than I can wrap myself around.


Quote
My question to you remains, what are the consequences of not loving God? Perhaps if "love God" were defined, that would make the question clearer


Love God has been defined in this post and the others. Look it up in your Bible.  Ask your Pastor for understanding of it.  To love God is to love His ways and want to do that which pleases Him.
Surely something has confused you or have you always believed it's an option whether to love God or not?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 16:46:50
Quote
There are plenty who fear God more than love Him. But that isn't the question. That's a little off-track.

I know of many people who seem to have no fear of God or anything else.  The devil has them blinded.  A man my husband works with will come to church once in a great while because we ask him to.  He stands gripping the back of the pew and cries but he won't accept Christ.  Something is holding him back, something in the world that he doesn't want to give up, that he loves more than God.

Quote
You used the word "condition" ref: "God does require that we love Him back." A condition means that if the condition isn't met, there is a consequence. What is the consequence of not meeting the condition?

I doubt anybody who doesn't love God will live for Him.  I think we must love Him or we wouldn't seek Himwant Him in our life.

Quote
Maybe if I try to tell you how I understand all this works, you can tell me how it differs from your thinking.

We are told to love God with all of our being - heart, mind, soul, strength. We are told that God is a jealous God, that we are to place nothing and no one before Him. We are told to love each other the same way that Christ loves us - which was unconditional and complete to the point of death.That places us where - at the very bottom. That is love. God IS love. He placed Himself - because of the this love - in the form of the Human Being, Jesus, at the bottom of that heap. He is at both places, top and bottom. Love is at the bottom. Loved is at the top.

Yes, that is the first commandment to love God with all of our mind, strength and soul.  Don't you love God?  Honestly, I've never met a Christian who has a problem of loving God and I don't know what to tell you.  The Bible tells us that it's not everyone who cries Lord, Lord but the ones who do the Will of the Father who will make it into heaven.

Quote
I don't see it as being 'love the one that saved my soul'. That is a love born of gratitude. It probably includes that, but is not the foundation of it. I see it as a choice to place God above all else, above anything else, above everyone else. Any other place is unacceptable to Him. The reverse of God at the top is God at the bottom and self at the top. This is what we are seeing more and more.


The paragraph here in the quote you explain loving God. You know He must come first. What else is there to understand?
You also call loving and putting Him first is as a choice.  It is a choice and as Christians we gladly do that.  We owe everything to Him.


Quote
He does require that we love Him. Without condition. I think it is evidence that we belong to Him.

These are my thoughts, as incomplete as they are. He is more than I can wrap myself around.


Quote
My question to you remains, what are the consequences of not loving God? Perhaps if "love God" were defined, that would make the question clearer


Love God has been defined in this post and the others. Look it up in your Bible.  Ask your Pastor for understanding of it.  To love God is to love His ways and want to do that which pleases Him.
Surely something has confused you or have you always believed it's an option whether to love God or not?

Bonnie, I am not confused. You're reading more into this than I write. Yes, I love God. I'm not talking about me, and I don't know where you get that. The question isn't about me. I thought if I shared with you my thoughts, that you might be able to explain a little more about your own thoughts, and then maybe I could understand what this "condition" is. Clearly, that didn't work. We got all tangled up in the "love God" part.

So, for now, let's just skip the "love God" part and go back to my original question. You said: "God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition." My question: What "condition"? For there to be a "condition", there must be a consequence. So the follow-up question is: What is the consequence? I could suggest some answers, but I don't want to lead you. I want to know what, in your thinking/belief, is the condition and subsequent consequence of not loving God?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: YHP on Thu May 01, 2008 - 17:17:08
So, for now, let's just skip the "love God" part and go back to my original question. You said: "God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition." My question: What "condition"? For there to be a "condition", there must be a consequence. So the follow-up question is: What is the consequence? I could suggest some answers, but I don't want to lead you. I want to know what, in your thinking/belief, is the condition and subsequent consequence of not loving God?

To answer your question Phoebe that answer lays throughout 1 John 4.

1 John 4

1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.
4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5 They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. 6 We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

Knowing God Through Love   
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Seeing God Through Love   
12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

The Consummation of Love
17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Obedience by Faith   
20 If someone says, “I love God,
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 17:18:26
Quote
There are plenty who fear God more than love Him. But that isn't the question. That's a little off-track.

I know of many people who seem to have no fear of God or anything else.  The devil has them blinded.  A man my husband works with will come to church once in a great while because we ask him to.  He stands gripping the back of the pew and cries but he won't accept Christ.  Something is holding him back, something in the world that he doesn't want to give up, that he loves more than God.

Quote
You used the word "condition" ref: "God does require that we love Him back." A condition means that if the condition isn't met, there is a consequence. What is the consequence of not meeting the condition?

I doubt anybody who doesn't love God will live for Him.  I think we must love Him or we wouldn't seek Himwant Him in our life.

Quote
Maybe if I try to tell you how I understand all this works, you can tell me how it differs from your thinking.

We are told to love God with all of our being - heart, mind, soul, strength. We are told that God is a jealous God, that we are to place nothing and no one before Him. We are told to love each other the same way that Christ loves us - which was unconditional and complete to the point of death.That places us where - at the very bottom. That is love. God IS love. He placed Himself - because of the this love - in the form of the Human Being, Jesus, at the bottom of that heap. He is at both places, top and bottom. Love is at the bottom. Loved is at the top.

Yes, that is the first commandment to love God with all of our mind, strength and soul.  Don't you love God?  Honestly, I've never met a Christian who has a problem of loving God and I don't know what to tell you.  The Bible tells us that it's not everyone who cries Lord, Lord but the ones who do the Will of the Father who will make it into heaven.

Quote
I don't see it as being 'love the one that saved my soul'. That is a love born of gratitude. It probably includes that, but is not the foundation of it. I see it as a choice to place God above all else, above anything else, above everyone else. Any other place is unacceptable to Him. The reverse of God at the top is God at the bottom and self at the top. This is what we are seeing more and more.


The paragraph here in the quote you explain loving God. You know He must come first. What else is there to understand?
You also call loving and putting Him first is as a choice.  It is a choice and as Christians we gladly do that.  We owe everything to Him.


Quote
He does require that we love Him. Without condition. I think it is evidence that we belong to Him.

These are my thoughts, as incomplete as they are. He is more than I can wrap myself around.


Quote
My question to you remains, what are the consequences of not loving God? Perhaps if "love God" were defined, that would make the question clearer


Love God has been defined in this post and the others. Look it up in your Bible.  Ask your Pastor for understanding of it.  To love God is to love His ways and want to do that which pleases Him.
Surely something has confused you or have you always believed it's an option whether to love God or not?

Bonnie, I am not confused. You're reading more into this than I write. Yes, I love God. I'm not talking about me, and I don't know where you get that. The question isn't about me. I thought if I shared with you my thoughts, that you might be able to explain a little more about your own thoughts, and then maybe I could understand what this "condition" is. Clearly, that didn't work. We got all tangled up in the "love God" part.

So, for now, let's just skip the "love God" part and go back to my original question. You said: "God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition." My question: What "condition"? For there to be a "condition", there must be a consequence. So the follow-up question is: What is the consequence? I could suggest some answers, but I don't want to lead you. I want to know what, in your thinking/belief, is the condition and subsequent consequence of not loving God?


It's impossible for me to answer a question that I don't know?  Who are you talking about? A sinner or a christian?
And, the best way for me answer you is if you just ask the question?
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: kmv on Thu May 01, 2008 - 17:36:56
Bonnie, when you said "God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition." did you mean that God won't love us if we don't love Him? 
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Thu May 01, 2008 - 18:42:08
So, for now, let's just skip the "love God" part and go back to my original question. You said: "God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition." My question: What "condition"? For there to be a "condition", there must be a consequence. So the follow-up question is: What is the consequence? I could suggest some answers, but I don't want to lead you. I want to know what, in your thinking/belief, is the condition and subsequent consequence of not loving God?

To answer your question Phoebe that answer lays throughout 1 John 4.

1 John 4

1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2 By this you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is of God, 3 and every spirit that does not confess that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is not of God. And this is the spirit of the Antichrist, which you have heard was coming, and is now already in the world.
4 You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 5 They are of the world. Therefore they speak as of the world, and the world hears them. 6 We are of God. He who knows God hears us; he who is not of God does not hear us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

Knowing God Through Love   
7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Seeing God Through Love   
12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

The Consummation of Love
17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Obedience by Faith   
20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

I thank you YHP for answering this post from Phoebe. I hope that's what she's looking for because frankly I don't understand her at all.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Thu May 01, 2008 - 23:32:20
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Serenity432001 on Fri May 02, 2008 - 06:07:58
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.



My answer would be just because someone makes a statement on this website, doesn't make it true.  As far as explaining what was meant, I have no idea.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: YHP on Fri May 02, 2008 - 06:34:42
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Ok... I'll do this...
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot trulu love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your eartly master - Satan

For GOD IS LOVE!
Thus if you LOVE GOD than you are able to experience TRUE LOVE
Thus, you are ABLE TO TRULY LOVE OTHERS
Thus you are ABLE TO FULFILL the commandment stated in 1 John 4:21 (CEV) "Love God and Love Each Other!"
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Fri May 02, 2008 - 07:46:33
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Ok... I'll do this...
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot trulu love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your eartly master - Satan

For GOD IS LOVE!
Thus if you LOVE GOD than you are able to experience TRUE LOVE
Thus, you are ABLE TO TRULY LOVE OTHERS
Thus you are ABLE TO FULFILL the commandment stated in 1 John 4:21 (CEV) "Love God and Love Each Other!"



"Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation"


If that is true, then, IMO, since not one of us can live up to this kind of perfection, not one of us is saved.

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Fri May 02, 2008 - 07:50:08
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.



My answer would be just because someone makes a statement on this website, doesn't make it true.  As far as explaining what was meant, I have no idea.

Yes, I agree. I am just trying to understand what Bonnie meant. I hope YHP is incorrect in his understanding of what he thinks this "condition" and subsequent consequence is.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: da525382 on Fri May 02, 2008 - 07:58:33
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.



It seems quite clear as it is laid out in scripture that I have already hated God, was at enmity with Him.  The decision was made, the stone chiseled.  It was He who brought me back with His love, I had no love in me whatsoever, none left to even think about Him, let alone love Him.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Fri May 02, 2008 - 08:28:15
It seems to me, connecting this to the OP, that if loving others via loving God is a "condition for salvation", then precious few are actually saved if there are so many feeling so unloved. In fact, Mother Theresa may be the only one who has perfectly demonstrated this kind of selfless love.

Maybe the statement was simply worded badly and that isn't what Bonnie was saying. I think it is a way to grow into, this perfect, selfless love, but to say that it is a condition for salvation... is reading more into it than I believe God is saying via Scripture. It may be a way of identifying those who are maturing in this love, but that idea holds no place for those who are still trying to understand, those who still struggle with forgiveness and letting go of self, learning how to love. IOW, it says that we aren't saved until we have reached perfect and complete maturity, and I don't buy that.

But, I gather this discussion is not really about the unloved, anyway, but about End Times theology, so I will step out, since I don't dwell on and feed on that. I have enough to worry about today.

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 08:28:40
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Ok... I'll do this...
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot trulu love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your eartly master - Satan

For GOD IS LOVE!
Thus if you LOVE GOD than you are able to experience TRUE LOVE
Thus, you are ABLE TO TRULY LOVE OTHERS
Thus you are ABLE TO FULFILL the commandment stated in 1 John 4:21 (CEV) "Love God and Love Each Other!"


YHP, thank you so much for answering this question. I dreaded like the plague to have to post the answer. I just don't feel up to battles right now.
You have posted the Word, the truth.

We moved a couple of days ago. That is bad enough but I tripped and fell down some stairs and I'm in pain.  I don't feel up to posting much but neither can I get this new place straightened up.  It is frustrating!  My husband and daughter have worked very hard and accomplished a lot.  I'm thankful for that.

God Bless
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 09:03:26
YHP, I thought I'd add this Scripture as I ran across it when studying this morning.  If we did a thorough search I'm sure there's countless Scriptures like this one.

Luke 16:13 No servant can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.


Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bigdog on Fri May 02, 2008 - 09:52:51
I feeling unloved by my whole family It seems like what I say is of no value. Part of it is due to my Bipolar depression, part is my wife ripped my heart out with her many affairs. Every doctor I see says I need to get out. I still praise the Lord because when I'm home the Holy Spirit is with me and I have a great Church family.
 The main problem is I lost most of my interest in doing anything, my dog is really this man's best friend even his name says it Buddy.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: YHP on Fri May 02, 2008 - 12:13:43
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Ok... I'll do this...
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot truly love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your earthly master - Satan

For GOD IS LOVE!
Thus if you LOVE GOD than you are able to experience TRUE LOVE
Thus, you are ABLE TO TRULY LOVE OTHERS
Thus you are ABLE TO FULFILL the commandment stated in 1 John 4:21 (CEV) "Love God and Love Each Other!"

"Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation"
If that is true, then, IMO, since not one of us can live up to this kind of perfection, not one of us is saved.

No you will NEVER have the perfection of love like that of the Lord.  I did not say you had to LOVE like God, I said you have to Love God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, and by doing so you are able to TRULY LOVE OTHERS.  But, if you do not love God, you do not know what love is...  It is a mystery to you, for you are living in desire rather than Love, and serving your earthly master - Satan.  and when I say YOU, I am not meaning YOU PERSONALLY, but anyone who says they do not love God.

I LOVE GOD, and just thinking about Him I get this warm feeling that washes over me, and it makes me feel loving towards others.  Everytime I think about Him, even a fraction of a second, this feeling happens.  It is AMAZING!  Because something can happen that makes me angry, and just thinking about God for one second, calms me, and washes away that anger.  So that I deal with the situation in a calm, logical, and rational manner -- using the wisdom He has given me.

I am thinking, you think, that to love God, you feel you have to love with God's perfection.

Psalm 139:1-24
The LORD Is Always Near

01 You have looked deep into my heart, LORD, nd you know all about me.
02 You know when I am resting or when I am working, and from heaven you discover my thoughts.
03 You notice everything I do and everywhere I go.
04 Before I even speak a word, you know what I will say,
05 and with your powerful arm you protect me from every side.
06 I can't understand all of this! Such wonderful knowledge is far above me.
07 Where could I go to escape from your Spirit or from your sight?
08 If I were to climb up to the highest heavens, you would be there. If I were to dig down to the world of the dead you would also be there.
09 Suppose I had wings like the dawning day and flew across the ocean.
10 Even then your powerful arm would guide and protect me.
11 Or suppose I said, "I'll hide in the dark until night comes to cover me over."
12 But you see in the dark because daylight and dark are all the same to you.
13 You are the one who put me together inside my mother's body,
14 and I praise you because of the wonderful way you created me. Everything you do is marvelous! Of this I have no doubt.
15 Nothing about me is hidden from you! I was secretly woven together deep in the earth below,
16 but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed. Even before I was born, you had written in your book everything I would do.
17 Your thoughts are far beyond my understanding, much more than I could ever imagine.
18 I try to count your thoughts, but they outnumber the grains of sand on the beach. And when I awake, I will find you nearby.
19 How I wish that you would kill all cruel and heartless people and protect me from them!
20 They are always rebelling and speaking evil of you.
21 You know I hate anyone who hates you, LORD, and refuses to obey.
22 They are my enemies too, and I truly hate them.
23 Look deep into my heart, God, and find out everything I am thinking.
24 Don't let me follow evil ways, but lead me in the way that time has proven true.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 12:21:56
Bonnie,

I am seeing there has been some dialogue about loving God. A conversation continued revolving around this point.

Quote
It's unconditional when we realize we have nothing to give Christ to save us and that it's all His doing on the Cross.  It's free for all who call upon His name in belief and in repentance.

God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition. When we love Him we will want to please Him and not grieve the Holy Spirit. We will hate sin as much as He does and strive to rid ourselves of it as He works in us, conforming us to the image of His Son.

I agree that God's love is unconditional towards us. We have nothing to offer him, not of works, yes. The only thing we offer Him is our hearts, our love and our devotion, as you expressed. I agree that God requires that we love Him back. He longs for relationships with His creation. He will always have a relationship with us, it's whether we chose to have a relationship with Him. I think it's also important to understand that the love we enter into a personal relationship with Him and the way I love Him may not be the same way that you love Him. We are all unique in the body of Christ and we are to use the gifts He gave us to honor Him and bring glory to Him.

As to what YHP added

Quote
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot trulu love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your eartly master - Satan

This goes back to your original question about why people may feel unloved. God is Love and praise Him for that! The measure that I love Him back is effected by many things, like has already been discussed, how I perceive, understand and receive His love totally effects how I relate to Him, His body, and myself in relation to others. God knows our hearts, I haven't heard anyone say that they do not love God, do you?

If people do not know the love of God, how can they truly know what love is? You may know what you think is love, but you don't know the love God speaks of until the Spirit of God reveals such to you through the Word of God and through Jesus Christ. The caution is passing judgment and making the measure of our love to God a condition of salvation. Only God knows our circumstances as we follow Him and our understanding of His love and our worth certainly ties into our reflection of His love. The goal as you expressed is to be ever transformed into His image, that starts with us examine the original question set forth and coming to terms with the love God truly pours out on His people.





Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

God Bless
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: kmv on Fri May 02, 2008 - 12:45:10
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 13:11:50
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



First of all I'm not being unfair to anyone.  Let the posts speak for themselves. You should stay out of things you don't understand or at least attempt to understand them.  Maybe post #41 which is mine and Phoebe's start with post #43 would help you understand.  I think that's the one anyway.

You made a post to me in this thread and you know what it's about.  I'm not going to get baited into an argument by anyone over this.

edited to correct post numbers
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bigdog on Fri May 02, 2008 - 13:41:06
"God does require that we love Him back.  That's a condition."


To anyone: What "condition", and what is the consequence for failing to meet this condition?

I'm not asking what is God's love. I'm asking about this "condition" thing. Because frankly I don't understand the statement at all.

Ok... I'll do this...
God is love
Therefore if you DO NOT LOVE GOD, than you DO NOT know what LOVE IS.
Therefore you cannot trulu love others
Therefore you are lost
Thus you do not have salvation
Thus you are doomed to live with your eartly master - Satan

For GOD IS LOVE!
Thus if you LOVE GOD than you are able to experience TRUE LOVE
Thus, you are ABLE TO TRULY LOVE OTHERS
Thus you are ABLE TO FULFILL the commandment stated in 1 John 4:21 (CEV) "Love God and Love Each Other!"

Great and Truthful Statement.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Linkoln on Fri May 02, 2008 - 13:56:48
I have been thinking about this wonderful subject for the past few days. I will give you one example of how this is played out. I noticed someone in our church who was looking sort of down for the past few months. I gave them a call and asked them to come into the office. They assumed it was about the ministry that they run in the church. I told them that I cared for them and asked if everything was alright. The person said that they had been depressed lately and it was starting to get better in the past few weeks. We had a great conversation and talked about some resources and strengthened our friendship. I am not telling this story to commend myself, I am sharing it because we must learn to be there for each other. We have to start loving each other by investing our time and energy into each others lives. If we really meditate on the scripture that says "love your neighbor as yourself" we all will see that we fall short in this command. This command is lived out in small increments each day. Even if we don't immediately see a difference we have to keep setting the example to others.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: kmv on Fri May 02, 2008 - 14:19:16
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



First of all I'm not being unfair to anyone.  Let the posts speak for themselves. You should stay out of things you don't understand or at least attempt to understand them.  Maybe post #41 which is mine and Phoebe's start with post #43 would help you understand.  I think that's the one anyway.

You made a post to me in this thread and you know what it's about.  I'm not going to get baited into an argument by anyone over this.

edited to correct post numbers

I'm sorry, I'm not understanding.  I think maybe a line was deleted from your reply?

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 14:32:11
I feeling unloved by my whole family It seems like what I say is of no value. Part of it is due to my Bipolar depression, part is my wife ripped my heart out with her many affairs. Every doctor I see says I need to get out. I still praise the Lord because when I'm home the Holy Spirit is with me and I have a great Church family.
 The main problem is I lost most of my interest in doing anything, my dog is really this man's best friend even his name says it Buddy.

Thanks for your post Bigdog.  I can't tell you that I understand your problems because I don't think we can truly understand something until we have to go through it ourselves.  I can say as one Christian to another that I care and that I'll remember you in my prayers.  I hope you will remember me in yours. We all need each other.  I'm so very glad to hear that you have a great church and a family of God.  That's worth a fortune. I know I love my church family and the fellowship we share.

God Bless
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Fri May 02, 2008 - 14:42:09
I have been thinking about this wonderful subject for the past few days. I will give you one example of how this is played out. I noticed someone in our church who was looking sort of down for the past few months. I gave them a call and asked them to come into the office. They assumed it was about the ministry that they run in the church. I told them that I cared for them and asked if everything was alright. The person said that they had been depressed lately and it was starting to get better in the past few weeks. We had a great conversation and talked about some resources and strengthened our friendship. I am not telling this story to commend myself, I am sharing it because we must learn to be there for each other. We have to start loving each other by investing our time and energy into each others lives. If we really meditate on the scripture that says "love your neighbor as yourself" we all will see that we fall short in this command. This command is lived out in small increments each day. Even if we don't immediately see a difference we have to keep setting the example to others.

God bless, brother, I'm happy that you shared that with us.  It makes me happy to hear good news like this.  It encourages us I think and gives us hope to know that they're Christians like you still on the firing line for God.
Yes, it's so true that we fall short but God knows our hearts and understands that we strive on the narrow path to please Him. Thank you for making this post.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: da525382 on Sat May 03, 2008 - 09:39:45
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



Exactly, no one in this thread or on this forum has every suggested that Christians don't love God.
Every post I have seen here gives greater insights into the truths before us.  And that's what's so great about sharing these ideas........
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Sat May 03, 2008 - 10:21:10
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



Exactly, no one in this thread or on this forum has every suggested that Christians don't love God.
Every post I have seen here gives greater insights into the truths before us.  And that's what's so great about sharing these ideas........

Don, all I can say is that you haven't read the posts and gotten their intents right.  Post 66 in this thread seems pretty plain to me and it's one of the weaker posts on the topic.

I really wish that this thread would be locked and go under because it serves no purpose anymore.

The other thread "Hate Crimes Against Humanity" definitely shows that there are people who think they don't have to love God. If you want the truth try reading the last page of it.

I am going to ask that both threads be locked because I'm tired of being questioned over and over about this when the truth is plain as day.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: da525382 on Sat May 03, 2008 - 10:48:48
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



Exactly, no one in this thread or on this forum has every suggested that Christians don't love God.
Every post I have seen here gives greater insights into the truths before us.  And that's what's so great about sharing these ideas........

Don, all I can say is that you haven't read the posts and gotten their intents right.  Post 66 in this thread seems pretty plain to me and it's one of the weaker posts on the topic.

I really wish that this thread would be locked and go under because it serves no purpose anymore.

The other thread "Hate Crimes Against Humanity" definitely shows that there are people who think they don't have to love God. If you want the truth try reading the last page of it.

I am going to ask that both threads be locked because I'm tired of being questioned over and over about this when the truth is plain as day.

First of all let me say that I never read posts thinking that I have the ability to get the "intents" of the author "right", ever, I cannot see, nor do I have the ability to look into the heart of man, only God can do that.

Secondly, I have read post 66, I simply disagree with you, you are free to insist what you say it says.....But I, and I think others here, don't think it is dismissive of what you have said, it is an added thought to it, and it is not intended as bait for you.

You can request your own threads to be locked when people post things you disagree with, but that generally, as I understand it, is not a valid basis for closing a thread, because by its very nature, this forum encourages dissenting comment, which means such comment may be disagreeable to you.

Sorry, but I simply disagree with your sentiments and perceptions here.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Sat May 03, 2008 - 11:24:57
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



Exactly, no one in this thread or on this forum has every suggested that Christians don't love God.
Every post I have seen here gives greater insights into the truths before us.  And that's what's so great about sharing these ideas........

Don, all I can say is that you haven't read the posts and gotten their intents right.  Post 66 in this thread seems pretty plain to me and it's one of the weaker posts on the topic.

I really wish that this thread would be locked and go under because it serves no purpose anymore.

The other thread "Hate Crimes Against Humanity" definitely shows that there are people who think they don't have to love God. If you want the truth try reading the last page of it.

I am going to ask that both threads be locked because I'm tired of being questioned over and over about this when the truth is plain as day.

First of all let me say that I never read posts thinking that I have the ability to get the "intents" of the author "right", ever, I cannot see, nor do I have the ability to look into the heart of man, only God can do that.

Secondly, I have read post 66, I simply disagree with you, you are free to insist what you say it says.....But I, and I think others here, don't think it is dismissive of what you have said, it is an added thought to it, and it is not intended as bait for you.

You can request your own threads to be locked when people post things you disagree with, but that generally, as I understand it, is not a valid basis for closing a thread, because by its very nature, this forum encourages dissenting comment, which means such comment may be disagreeable to you.

Sorry, but I simply disagree with your sentiments and perceptions here.

If you have read that post and still stand by your statements then I would assume either you don't understand it or you agree with it.

YHP finally gives Phoebe the answer to her question.  Do you disagree with his posts? She did.

You should know how closing threads go since you tried closing mine and it worked only until the mods knew I had not made the request. So I think you are starting out bias here simply because you didn't get your way. You shouldn't let your personal feelings rule you and stop you from being fair.

That's all I have to say to you.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: da525382 on Sat May 03, 2008 - 11:31:11
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



Exactly, no one in this thread or on this forum has every suggested that Christians don't love God.
Every post I have seen here gives greater insights into the truths before us.  And that's what's so great about sharing these ideas........

Don, all I can say is that you haven't read the posts and gotten their intents right.  Post 66 in this thread seems pretty plain to me and it's one of the weaker posts on the topic.

I really wish that this thread would be locked and go under because it serves no purpose anymore.

The other thread "Hate Crimes Against Humanity" definitely shows that there are people who think they don't have to love God. If you want the truth try reading the last page of it.

I am going to ask that both threads be locked because I'm tired of being questioned over and over about this when the truth is plain as day.

First of all let me say that I never read posts thinking that I have the ability to get the "intents" of the author "right", ever, I cannot see, nor do I have the ability to look into the heart of man, only God can do that.

Secondly, I have read post 66, I simply disagree with you, you are free to insist what you say it says.....But I, and I think others here, don't think it is dismissive of what you have said, it is an added thought to it, and it is not intended as bait for you.

You can request your own threads to be locked when people post things you disagree with, but that generally, as I understand it, is not a valid basis for closing a thread, because by its very nature, this forum encourages dissenting comment, which means such comment may be disagreeable to you.

Sorry, but I simply disagree with your sentiments and perceptions here.

If you have read that post and still stand by your statements then I would assume either you don't understand it or you agree with it.

YHP finally gives Phoebe the answer to her question.  Do you disagree with his posts? She did.

You should know how closing threads go since you tried closing mine and it worked only until the mods knew I had not made the request. So I think you are starting out bias here simply because you didn't get your way. You shouldn't let your personal feelings rule you and stop you from being fair.

That's all I have to say to you.

That's fine Bonnie, I'm sorry you feel that way, but I'm afraid the "personal feelings" hysteria is yours alone..........
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bigdog on Sat May 03, 2008 - 14:40:22
 
 One thing to remember is God's love is unconditional. He loved us from the beginning of time, That is why He sent His Son to earth to die for sins.
 He paid a debt He did not owe, we owed a debt we could not pay! ::amen!::
 Rob ::hug::
 
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Bonnie on Sat May 03, 2008 - 14:55:14

 One thing to remember is God's love is unconditional. He loved us from the beginning of time, That is why He sent His Son to earth to die for sins.
 He paid a debt He did not owe, we owed a debt we could not pay! ::amen!::
 Rob ::hug::
 

Amen! ::clappingoverhead::
God Bless
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: kmv on Sat May 03, 2008 - 15:17:10
Quote
Thanks for your post. Yes, not loving God has been a huge topic in this thread for maybe the the last couple of pages.  I felt I was being baited to get into an argument that Christians don't or can't love God.  It's been a shocker for me.  You can go back through a few posts and read for yourself. I would have never dreamed a Christian wouldn't love God.  How could that be possible!  I sure was glad for YHP's help.

I'm glad to know that you do!  Praise the Lord.

bonnie, this is unfair.  NO ONE has suggest that he, or any other Christian, doesn't love God.  It looks like you and phoebe are talking about different concepts, and to be honest, I don't really understand what either of you are saying.  But phoebe has explained to you that you misunderstood her posts, and it is unworthy of a Christ-follower to continue to imply differently.



First of all I'm not being unfair to anyone.  Let the posts speak for themselves. You should stay out of things you don't understand or at least attempt to understand them.  Maybe post #41 which is mine and Phoebe's start with post #43 would help you understand.  I think that's the one anyway.

You made a post to me in this thread and you know what it's about.  I'm not going to get baited into an argument by anyone over this.

edited to correct post numbers

I'm sorry, I'm not understanding.  I think maybe a line was deleted from your reply?



bonnie, since you didn't respond, I assume that you did, in fact, intend to tell me to stay out of things I don't understand.  Which seems an odd thing to say after one has started a discussion on a public forum.

Obviously, to post your opinion on a public forum is to invite comment on your words - that's the point of a public forum, in fact.  Surely you don't expect to post to a discussion forum then just tell everyone who disagrees with you to butt out? 

I took your advice to da... and reread post 66.  Here it is:
Quote
It seems to me, connecting this to the OP, that if loving others via loving God is a "condition for salvation", then precious few are actually saved if there are so many feeling so unloved. In fact, Mother Theresa may be the only one who has perfectly demonstrated this kind of selfless love.

Maybe the statement was simply worded badly and that isn't what Bonnie was saying. I think it is a way to grow into, this perfect, selfless love, but to say that it is a condition for salvation... is reading more into it than I believe God is saying via Scripture. It may be a way of identifying those who are maturing in this love, but that idea holds no place for those who are still trying to understand, those who still struggle with forgiveness and letting go of self, learning how to love. IOW, it says that we aren't saved until we have reached perfect and complete maturity, and I don't buy that.

But, I gather this discussion is not really about the unloved, anyway, but about End Times theology, so I will step out, since I don't dwell on and feed on that. I have enough to worry about today.

As best I can tell (which I admit is imperfectly), phoebe is saying that we fail in perfectly loving God by the way we love others, as evidenced by the way so many feel unloved.  And, as best I can tell (which I admit is imperfectly), you are saying either that God only loves us if we love Him, or that our salvation is conditional upon our love for God.  I may very well be wrong, as I don't know either of your intent.

On the other hand, your sister in Christ has told you twice that you misunderstand her.  That should be enough for you.  Why is it not?

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Sat May 03, 2008 - 16:29:49
I think I'm beginning to see "Why Are People Feeling Unloved".

Thanks to da525382 and KMV for hearing me.
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: da525382 on Sat May 03, 2008 - 16:53:11
I think I'm beginning to see "Why Are People Feeling Unloved".

Thanks to da525382 and KMV for hearing me.


Here Phoebe.......have a hug!.......... ::huggingyou::

Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: Harold on Sat May 03, 2008 - 16:58:16
I think I'm beginning to see "Why Are People Feeling Unloved".

Thanks to da525382 and KMV for hearing me.


Well I love you sister.

BTW we are commanded to become Christ like, Hmmm..... God is love, we must become love, even if the world hates us. We feel unloved because we fail to love. It is more blessed to give than receive, giving love is better than receiving love.

Make it your goal to become the Love of Christ. Then I believe you will feel loved.

God loves us unconditionally, there are no conditions attached to God's love, giving or receiving.

He loves us even when we are bad, or unfaithful.

FTL
Title: Re: Why Are People Feeling Unloved
Post by: phoebe on Sat May 03, 2008 - 17:40:03
Thanks guys.

I totally know that I am loved by God, even when I am at my most unlovable, because His love for me is a decision He made at Creation. That has never been a question for me.