About the wedding vows in the first post, why don't you have the woman say the words about reverencing her husband from the part about the wife's duty from the pasage you cite. you have the wife agreeing to do the instructions to the husband.
that doesn't gow ith your egalitarian viewpoint, but it makes sense in light of hte passage.
Btw, i don't think being more egalitarian is going to lower the divorce rate. It is probably the case that women's liberation and too much emphasis on 'sameness', and the stripping away of male headship and leadership in the home is what has inflated the divorce rate.
Social stigma against divorce, a death penalty for adultery if proven, and making it very difficult, legally to divorce would be a way of keeping a low divorce rate in a society. It's worked in the past.
in the church, confronting and restoring people who sin sexually or in putting away their wives-- and cutting off from fellowship those who do not repent may reduce divorce rates. Teaching against divorce more may help as well. It is amazing how many church people you encounter who think divorce and remarriage is no big deal.