Author Topic: Bad Advice Only (Read 167148 times)

zoonance · « **Reply #2975 on:** Fri Sep 18, 2009 - 14:33:16 »

Tell my wife it is on sale and its for the grandbaby. Then ask to borrow it after she buys it.

I am having to paint the clinic, quarantine room and treatment wing. How can I get you (anybody but me) to do it?

Ewigkeit · « **Reply #2976 on:** Fri Sep 18, 2009 - 18:17:50 »

Offer them a thousand dollers each per hour, and while they're doing the job, skip town!

I much enjoy following the college games on Saturday, but I really should be studying my anatomy insted. What should I do?

zoonance · « **Reply #2977 on:** Sat Sep 19, 2009 - 08:01:01 »

Quote from: Ewigkeit on Fri Sep 18, 2009 - 18:17:50

Offer them a thousand dollers each per hour, and while they're doing the job, skip town!

I much enjoy following the college games on Saturday, but I really should be studying my anatomy insted. What should I do?

If you don't know your anatomy by now, try Dr. Seuss's "See Bird, See Bee" while watching the games.

How do I get back to work when I would rather post all day?

Ewigkeit · « **Reply #2978 on:** Sun Sep 20, 2009 - 12:24:52 »

Throw your computer out of an upstairs window; then there'll be nothing to do bet go to work!

hI prefer firm bread, but most bread in stores is so soft it crushes in your fingers when you pick it up. What can I do about that?

As for my anatomy, I definitely prefer Elaine Marieb to Dr. Seuss.

marc · « **Reply #2979 on:** Thu Jun 17, 2010 - 21:32:43 »

Get your bread from the dumpster out back of the store.

I keep getting kidney stones, no matter what I do to prevent them. Help me!

Little Lamb · « **Reply #2980 on:** Tue Aug 17, 2010 - 15:45:04 »

Stop trying things that don't work, only do stuff that actually works!

How do I formulate the problem I have in mind?

walker starr · « **Reply #2981 on:** Tue Aug 17, 2010 - 16:58:50 »

The (one of the) definitions of insanity is to repeat an action over
and over and over again expecting a different result.

zoonance · « **Reply #2982 on:** Sat Aug 21, 2010 - 18:19:12 »

Quote from: walker starr on Tue Aug 17, 2010 - 16:58:50

The (one of the) definitions of insanity is to repeat an action over
and over and over again expecting a different result.

But I tried that approach and I expect a different result. Should I keep trying over and over?

bemark · « **Reply #2983 on:** Sat Aug 21, 2010 - 18:29:53 »

You must ,after all..... you have spent all that time and energy......I mean..... what else would you do?

Wycliffes_Shillelagh · « **Reply #2984 on:** Wed Sep 01, 2010 - 17:54:29 »

You could vote for the 3rd party.

I can't remember where I left the glasses that I'm wearing. Can someone help me find them?

marc · « **Reply #2985 on:** Fri Jan 21, 2011 - 01:34:42 »

Most likely they fell into the commode while you were flushing. Dig up the sewer system, and you'll find them for sure.

__________________________

No one has any interest in these fun old threads. How can I resurrect them?

Wycliffes_Shillelagh · « **Reply #2986 on:** Tue Jan 25, 2011 - 15:17:57 »

Now that's just plain ironic, since I just finished snaking a line and replacing a toilet the other day.

If you want to resurrect these old threads, you will need a Philosopher's Stone. You should take up alchemy.

My girlfriend likes to talk right about the time of night that I want to be getting into bed. How can I keep girlfriend happy, and get a good night's sleep too?

marc · « **Reply #2987 on:** Sun Mar 20, 2011 - 20:56:01 »

Cloning, duh. Or if you're not afraid of temporal distortion, time machines can also allow you to be in two places at once.

I need to work this week (It's Spring Break and my choice) because I'm broke, but I'm also very tired. What should I do?

Wycliffes_Shillelagh · « **Reply #2988 on:** Mon Mar 21, 2011 - 01:12:09 »

Quote from: marc on Sun Mar 20, 2011 - 20:56:01

Cloning, duh. Or if you're not afraid of temporal distortion, time machines can also allow you to be in two places at once.

I need to work this week (It's Spring Break and my choice) because I'm broke, but I'm also very tired. What should I do?

Get a job serving drinks on the beach in Baja! That way you can work, AND celebrate spring break at the same time.

I can't seem to ever get rid of the crab grass that likes to grow in my rocks. How can I kill that stuff for more than a month?

marc · « **Reply #2989 on:** Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 22:21:19 »

Plant marijuana in among the crabgrass. It won't stop the crabgrass from growing, but you won't care.

I'm going with a bunch of people to a concert by a group I don't really like because I like the opening act. What should I do during the main concert?

Wednesday · « **Reply #2990 on:** Sun Mar 27, 2011 - 22:41:40 »

Quote from: marc on Tue Mar 22, 2011 - 22:21:19

Plant marijuana in among the crabgrass. It won't stop the crabgrass from growing, but you won't care.

I'm going with a bunch of people to a concert by a group I don't really like because I like the opening act. What should I do during the main concert?

Shots of Tequila with the security guards!

My nieces uncle by marriage is visiting with my 2nd cousins first removed brother in laws daughter by his 4th marriage to his great aunt that is gay and the daughter really belongs to her sister by birth, what do I call this girl, is she a relative?

marc · « **Reply #2991 on:** Fri Apr 15, 2011 - 21:45:54 »

I don't know what you should call her, but you should call yourself a cab.

My laptop no longer recognizes my home network. How do I get it to work again?

Bitter Sweet · « **Reply #2992 on:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 15:22:10 »

Quote from: marc on Fri Apr 15, 2011 - 21:45:54

I don't know what you should call her, but you should call yourself a cab.

My laptop no longer recognizes my home network. How do I get it to work again?

First cancel your internet and then use any open network in the neighborhood, theirs is probably faster anyway and it's free.

My house is a mess and my husband is coming home tonight, what should I do?

Nevertheless · « **Reply #2993 on:** Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 16:14:49 »

Quote from: Bitter Sweet on Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 15:22:10

First cancel your internet and then use any open network in the neighborhood, theirs is probably faster anyway and it's free.

My house is a mess and my husband is coming home tonight, what should I do?

Take all your clothes off, wrap yourself in plastic wrap, and greet him at the door. He'll never notice the mess.

My feet are hot and sweaty at the end of the work day. What should I do about it?

Bitter Sweet · « **Reply #2994 on:** Wed Jul 11, 2012 - 12:03:05 »

Quote from: Nevertheless on Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 16:14:49

Quote from: Bitter Sweet on Tue Jul 10, 2012 - 15:22:10

First cancel your internet and then use any open network in the neighborhood, theirs is probably faster anyway and it's free.

My house is a mess and my husband is coming home tonight, what should I do?

Take all your clothes off, wrap yourself in plastic wrap, and greet him at the door. He'll never notice the mess.

My feet are hot and sweaty at the end of the work day. What should I do about it?

First find about 5 rubber bands, put them all around your feet, make sure your skin is bulging out. Snap them a couple times to make sure they are snug and cutting off circulation. Next get out your highest heels and start running, for about an hour. When you take off your heels, snap the bands a couple times and you won't feel a thing!

I have rotten food left over from last weeks power outage, I don't want to through it out, what can I do with it?

chell622 · « **Reply #2995 on:** Wed Dec 12, 2012 - 08:18:09 »

Make a smootie out of it! Enjoy!!!

The sun is shining so bright in my house, it's hard to see. What should I do?

Stucky · « **Reply #2996 on:** Mon Feb 04, 2013 - 13:08:23 »

Quote from: chell622 on Wed Dec 12, 2012 - 08:18:09

Make a smootie out of it! Enjoy!!!

The sun is shining so bright in my house, it's hard to see. What should I do?

Go outside with a friend, dig a hole, jump in, ask friend to cover you up.

My head lice are on. What should I do?

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Author Topic: Bad Advice Only (Read 167148 times)

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