GCM Home | Your Posts | Rules | DONATE | Bookstore | Facebook | Twitter | FAQs


Author Topic: God's Plan for Aging  (Read 217 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Ginger Rella

  • 100% Christian .... 100% American.
  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1200
  • Manna: 113
  • PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND A DEPLORABLE TOO
    • View Profile
God's Plan for Aging
« on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 07:58:44 »

           God's Plan for Aging

 Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors  would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the  bathroom, thus providing more exercise.  God looked down and saw that  it was good.

So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

#9  Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

#8  Life is sexually transmitted.

#7  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

#6   Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

#5  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

#4  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

#3  All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

#2  In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

#1  Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

P.S.
Please share this wisdom with others while I go to the bathroom.

Christian Forums and Message Board

God's Plan for Aging
« on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 07:58:44 »

Offline Texas Conservative

  • Resident Board Genius
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7116
  • Manna: 270
  • My church is 100% right, Your church is 100% wrong
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #1 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 08:00:15 »
#6 is Fake News!

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #1 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 08:00:15 »

Offline Carey

  • Lord its not hard to be humble, I am imperfect in every way
  • Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 2414
  • Manna: 116
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #2 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 08:35:47 »
Thanks Rella, made me smile,  ::smile:: manna for you.

Offline soterion

  • Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 3434
  • Manna: 113
  • Gender: Male
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #3 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 13:01:31 »
 rofl

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #3 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 13:01:31 »

Offline Ginger Rella

  • 100% Christian .... 100% American.
  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1200
  • Manna: 113
  • PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND A DEPLORABLE TOO
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #4 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 14:19:24 »
#6 is Fake News!

No, when you get your long pants, you will understand.

In the meantime... here, just for you  ::yummy::


Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #4 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 14:19:24 »



Offline Texas Conservative

  • Resident Board Genius
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 7116
  • Manna: 270
  • My church is 100% right, Your church is 100% wrong
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #5 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 14:21:14 »
No, when you get your long pants, you will understand.

In the meantime... here, just for you  ::yummy::



When you get male parts you will understand.

There is no confusion on my part when it comes to "hanky panky" and sandwiches. 

Offline Alan

  • I AM Canadian!
  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 5683
  • Manna: 216
  • Gender: Male
  • Politically Incorrect
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #6 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 18:52:36 »
When you get male parts you will understand.

There is no confusion on my part when it comes to "hanky panky" and sandwiches.


Amen! One will never alleviate the desire for the other, long pants or not.

Offline Ginger Rella

  • 100% Christian .... 100% American.
  • Senior Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 1200
  • Manna: 113
  • PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN AND A DEPLORABLE TOO
    • View Profile
Re: God's Plan for Aging
« Reply #7 on: Mon Apr 23, 2018 - 18:56:57 »
When you get male parts you will understand.

There is no confusion on my part when it comes to "hanky panky" and sandwiches.

Then I take my sandwich back...... I have someone I need to give it to  rofl

 

     
anything