A Wife is a God-Given Gift — And Should be Treated Like One
Written by Ian Drucker
I am sorry to say that for many years I had an incorrect perspective of my wife, and women in general. Over time the enemy used my addiction to Internet Porn to pollute my mind, and to corrupt my thoughts as to why women exist.
I viewed women as objects who were solely created to be pleasing for men to look at, and derive pleasure. I believed that women were here for one reason; to satisfy men. I know, I know, that’s really nauseating!
I believe that it is this ungodly view of women by some men that is largely responsible for the tension that exists between the sexes, and has affected our culture in such a negative way. This view and attitude toward women perverts the godly purpose for which women have been created. Thankfully, the Holy Spirit has been doing a mighty work in me. By the grace of God, I am free from my addiction. The enemy no longer has the influence over my thoughts as he once did. I now strive to take every thought captive to Christ. That leads me to the main thrust of this article, which is that a wife is a God given gift.
Genesis 2:22 indicates, “Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.”
The key words in this passage to me are “and he brought her to the man”. That helps me to see, understand and realize that my wife is truly a gift from God. God didn’t just create woman and let her coexist with man, until they decided to join together. On the contrary, God brought her to the man. I now understand that my wife is a gift that God has chosen specifically for me. Along with this gift comes the responsibility of protecting the sacred unity of this relationship.
I have prayed earnestly for God to give me the wisdom that I need, so that I would treat my wife in a manner pleasing to Him and in accordance with His will. I have asked him to open my eyes and my heart, and give me the desire to learn how to treat my wife as he intended her to be treated. Well, once again, He has proven to me that He is an awesome God. God has answered my prayers. God has provided me with an understanding of how I should view and treat my wife. In addition, I have been convicted by and through the Holy Spirit, to live out this understanding in my attitudes and in the way I treat my wife every day. Am I perfect in every situation? No. Am I striving to get better each day? Yes, I hope and believe that I am. I suppose I might have to encourage my wife to write an article on that to be certain.
Nonetheless, my renewed insight came mostly from Ephesians. Ephesians 5:25-28 indicates; “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
In this passage God is actually commanding me, as a husband, to love my wife just as Christ loved the church. That means it is not a choice, and it does not mean only if and when I feel like it. It means every minute of every day. Everything that Christ did for the church was out of selflessness, and for the benefit of the church to make it be all that it should be for future generations. Christ gave himself up for her (the church) to make her holy. There is much to be said about and gained from this passage both in symbolism and in practical everyday life, and perhaps death.
I do believe that I must be willing, if the situation arises, to lay down my life for my wife it this action will help in any way to save her. I am now of a renewed mind, that would lead me to do this for her without hesitation.
Many husbands, would actually say that they would lay down their lives for their wives (chivalry isn’t completely dead). This is good, and is as God says it should be. But in another way, I believe that it’s also an easy cop-out for what we are commanded to do daily. This in itself is not enough in consideration of the way we are commanded to love our wives.
The real challenge is in how we treat our wives every day. Do we ask about, and think of their needs before our own? Do we go out of our way to make their life easier? Do we provide the adequate spiritual leadership, not only by words, but also by example so that they see Christ in us? Do we show them that we value time with them more than time spent with anything or anyone else (other than God), in a way that is satisfying to them? Do we lift them up in prayer? Do we encourage and affirm them? Do we love them as we love ourselves, and are we willing to show them that we do every day? The list of questions that we could ask goes on and on. The real issue becomes clear. Are we really even willing to ask the questions? If not, it’s probably because we already know some of the answers, and the truth might hurt too much. I know that it hurt me. If we are willing to ask, do we really seek honest answers? If so the questions should be directed to God and to our wives, not ourselves. Given that we obtain answers to these questions, do we need to and are we willing to change? Are we willing to heed the command that God gives us? I believe we must. If we are willing to be Christ-like to our wives, regardless of the way our wives respond to us; I believe over time they will joyfully fulfill the purpose for which God has given them to us. It is then, that we will truly be one in mind, body and spirit for the glory of God.