GCM Home | Your Posts | Rules | DONATE | Bookstore | Facebook | Twitter | FAQs


Author Topic: Porn  (Read 1789 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Layceers

  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 72
  • Manna: 7
  • Gender: Female
  • (T)ogether (E)veryone (A)chieves (M)ore
Porn
« on: Thu Jun 21, 2018 - 13:41:41 »
I have a husband who is a non-Christian and addicted to porn.   When I confront him about it, he becomes angry and tells me "I am not his mother and quit trying to control me."  However, he keeps trying to get close to me in a conjugal way, but I feel so disrespected and hurt, that I have no feelings for him in that way.  I do love him and we get along in all other ways, but that part of our relationship to me is dead.   I don't know why I am saying this on here except that there is no one else I can talk to about it.   I am embarrassed and hurt.

Have any of you ever had to deal with this sinfulness on the part of your spouse?   And how did you handle it?   ::cryingtears::

Christian Forums and Message Board

Porn
« on: Thu Jun 21, 2018 - 13:41:41 »

Online mommydi

  • ~Always gentle, but never tame~
  • Legendary Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 6739
  • Manna: 702
  • Gender: Female
  • *Cruising the facility and picking up slack*
Re: Porn
« Reply #1 on: Thu Jun 21, 2018 - 14:16:58 »
Layceers, I'll send you a private message in a few minutes.


Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Porn
« Reply #1 on: Thu Jun 21, 2018 - 14:16:58 »

Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 30205
  • Manna: 531
  • Gender: Female
Re: Porn
« Reply #2 on: Mon Jun 25, 2018 - 12:41:02 »
A lady I know got so fed up with her husband's porn us that she gave him an ultimatum. The porn or me. She was determined to leave if he refused to stop. Guess what, after many years of porn use he stopped just like that. I do think that too many women sort of enable this by not standing up against it. You must mean it though. He will know if you are just saying it.

Were you aware of the porn use when you get married? 

I see it as adultery, it certainly is Biblically, I wouldn't put up with it at all. Its evil and damaging and ruins lives and marriages.  The ONLY way the marriage can be saved is if he stops and focuses all of his sexual energies and thoughts on you.

In the end the choice is yours. Tell him that you will not put up with the terrible way he is treating you any longer, and give him a choice. If he chooses the porn then that shows where his loyalties lie.



« Last Edit: Mon Jun 25, 2018 - 12:44:40 by chosenone »

Offline MeMyself

  • Lee's Inner Circle Member
  • *******
  • Posts: 15983
  • Manna: 382
  • Gender: Female
Re: Porn
« Reply #3 on: Wed Jun 27, 2018 - 10:22:48 »
Tell him you aren't going to try and control him any more.  He knows how deeply this hurts and disrespects you and makes you feel as if he is using you to be a sex toy, and yet, continues to settle for so far less than what he, you and your relationship is worth, so its clear what he wants from you.

Then tell him, "Thats not good enough for me.  I am worth more than this, *you* are worth more than this, but *I* will not subject myself to this disrespect any longer.  *you* can continue to submit to an industry that mocks and belittles you and laughs at you rather than cherishes your sexuality, but I will not. Do what you wish. I will do what I wish and I do not wish to be your plastic sex toy.  When you are done settling for a lie and then thinking its up to me to "help" what that sick, twisted stuff has stirred up in you, I will be available to you. I *hope* you are able to be healed from this horrible blindness that has taken us over, but I can't force you to see what you don't want to. I love you and want a relationship with you; one that is  built on mutual respect and dignity...this isn't it." 

End of discussion.

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Porn
« Reply #3 on: Wed Jun 27, 2018 - 10:22:48 »

Offline Jean74

  • Greetings for Season
  • Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 264
  • Manna: 12
  • Gender: Female
  • Christmas is Coming
Re: Porn
« Reply #4 on: Sat Jun 30, 2018 - 19:59:10 »
Praying for him to be a Christian. Most of all save himself and his family. Seek treatment for his addiction. It is like that of drugs, food, or alcohol. Praying for you all! ::groupprayer::

Christian Forums and Message Board

Re: Porn
« Reply #4 on: Sat Jun 30, 2018 - 19:59:10 »



Offline Bella_lee

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Manna: 0
  • (T)ogether (E)veryone (A)chieves (M)ore
Re: Porn
« Reply #5 on: Tue Jul 17, 2018 - 03:43:58 »
Hi  @Layceers I just wanted to encourage you today that you are worthy of true love that is respectful of your feelings. I understand how hurtful it must be that your husband has decided on this path and is oblivious to the damage he is causing to your marriage and even to himself. In my case, it took time, prayer and the merciful intervention of God in my marriage to bring about a turn around in my husband's life. A wonderful Christian mentor came alongside us and counseled my husband and myself through this journey. I also found some valuable resources on here that you might find useful too as you navigate this season in your marriage. Do remember no one is too far away that God cannot touch.
« Last Edit: Tue Jul 17, 2018 - 05:54:14 by Alan »

Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 30205
  • Manna: 531
  • Gender: Female
Re: Porn
« Reply #6 on: Tue Jul 17, 2018 - 03:51:37 »
Praying for him to be a Christian. Most of all save himself and his family. Seek treatment for his addiction. It is like that of drugs, food, or alcohol. Praying for you all! ::groupprayer::

#
 Sadly many Christian men look at porn as well.

Offline 3rdday

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 2
  • Manna: 0
  • (T)ogether (E)veryone (A)chieves (M)ore
Re: Porn
« Reply #7 on: Mon Sep 17, 2018 - 18:05:32 »
Porn is a terrible addiction. It is very hard for anyone to control similar to drugs. I am sorry your husband is involved in it and hope you can be strong as you walk through this. Please don't be embarrassed - there are many people struggling with this and you aren't alone. Here is a website full of good resources on this topic
« Last Edit: Mon Sep 17, 2018 - 20:10:52 by Alan »

Offline grams

  • Hero
  • *****
  • Posts: 2129
  • Manna: 54
  • Gender: Female
Re: Porn
« Reply #8 on: Tue Sep 18, 2018 - 08:07:23 »


Ask him  if he loves  you !

IF  he does,  why  is he acting this way.......?

Love is being kind to your  spouse, wife  , husband....

Dulcie

  • Guest
Re: Porn
« Reply #9 on: Tue Sep 18, 2018 - 12:31:47 »
If it was me, I'd feel demeaned. Porn is just too terrible to watch and I can't express how sickened and betrayed I'd feel if I had a partner looking at that unspeakably awful stuff. Fortunately I have never been in an adult relationship where this has happened.

Giving an ultimatum might just make him see sense, since you are very hurt and your self esteem I would imagine is damaged. However, I suggest you take legal advice and see where you stand as to whether porn could be grounds for divorce or separation months down the line. Talking to your pastor is another suggestion. The more people you have on your side, the better.

Feel welcome to pm me.

Offline chosenone

  • Global Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 30205
  • Manna: 531
  • Gender: Female
Re: Porn
« Reply #10 on: Thu Sep 20, 2018 - 00:01:09 »
If it was me, I'd feel demeaned. Porn is just too terrible to watch and I can't express how sickened and betrayed I'd feel if I had a partner looking at that unspeakably awful stuff. Fortunately I have never been in an adult relationship where this has happened.

Giving an ultimatum might just make him see sense, since you are very hurt and your self esteem I would imagine is damaged. However, I suggest you take legal advice and see where you stand as to whether porn could be grounds for divorce or separation months down the line. Talking to your pastor is another suggestion. The more people you have on your side, the better.

Feel welcome to pm me.

Apparently porn use is cited in 60% of all divorces now. So sad.

Dulcie

  • Guest
Re: Porn
« Reply #11 on: Thu Sep 20, 2018 - 01:54:57 »
Apparently porn use is cited in 60% of all divorces now. So sad.

Yes I agree, @chosenone and it is so sad how so many people - women, too, in addition to young people get hooked!