Hey guys,
I'm 26 years old, been married for 7 years and have a generally great marriage and have 2 kids: 5 and 1. After the birth of my youngest child, my wife's sex drive has increased considerably (from maybe once a month to about once a week on average), but I'm personally having a problem. I'm told all men, like myself, struggle feeling loved without sex. She is a great wife and more than I ever could have asked for, but I struggle feeling loved without sex. Due to complications every pregnancy is completely sex free which is as short as 10 months without sex or 1.5 years with my first child. Including her monthly cycle preventing sex I often feel depressed or unintentionally angry. I try distracting myself with chores or hobbies but at the end of the day when I'm desiring her and nothing can happen about it, it just sucks. I know now that I'm not alone in this so here is my question: What do you do to feel loved despite a lack of sex?
Referring to your problem, why cant you do other things of a sexual nature when you can't have full intercourse? Have you both discussed this and what you can do when full sex isn't an option? If you aren't having any more children then that isn't going to happen again anyway, and why couldn't you have sex in pregnancy, was there a medical reason?
Anyway apart from pregnancy, sex doesn't seem very infrequent to me.
I do think that men do feel loved and wanted and desired when their wives want to have sex with them, but maybe your frustration is fairly extreme as she does want to, especially when its for a good reason and not for long(say a week). Make sure you are both still affectionate and loving with each other during these times.
We want more kids, maybe 6 total. We aren't medically allowed sex during pregnancy because she had a c-section ( I don't recall the dangers but the docs were very adamant about no sex). We have discussed other options but she is not comfortable with it.
: BeforeTheKing Sat Oct 13, 2018 - 13:18:30
We want more kids, maybe 6 total. We aren't medically allowed sex during pregnancy because she had a c-section ( I don't recall the dangers but the docs were very adamant about no sex). We have discussed other options but she is not comfortable with it.
Wow, good luck with that. Well then you will face many more very long periods of no sex but I guess that's your choice in the end. I have never heard of sex being banned because of a c section. and why did that mean you had no sex in the first pregnancy?
Its sad she wont do other things, there are so many options for sexual intimacy if you can't have full intercourse.
Is it your choice to have that many children or hers?
I think that you must be honest with her about this situation, and how it affects you. Having so many children will not help the situation only make it worse. Not just because of the no sex in pregnancy, but because with so many children you will both be permanently exhausted. Sex will probably be the last thing on her mind.