Christian Forums

This forum is for Christian singles to discuss dating, courtship, relationships and the like.

If you are single and are looking for an online, personals type dating website for Christians, consider visiting Real Christian Singles (http://www.realchristiansingles.com) and joining their Facebook group (http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=43678033966).

Cool.

I was single once.  Back in the Stone Age.  I would like to hear what goes on in their heads and hearts these days.

Is it a sign of the general lack of respect for us that's out there that the word "singles" isn't capitalized in the board title?   ::lookaround::

I'm just kidding; I'm just kidding!  ::saint::

Should we start calling you Unhitched-Americans, Single-Americans, Unyoked-Americans, or Noncovenantal-Americans?

Independent-Americans.

As opposed to Interdependent-Americans?

Yup.

Matrimonally Challenged, perhaps?  Nah....that presumes that everyone is supposed to be married.

Yes, I think Independent-Americans works well.  So when do we vote and who gets to send out the official "MEMO" to the rest of the world?

At least you don't have to worry about whether to put Mr. or Mrs. on the address line...

Hmmm, I think I just might like this. How nice this will be to get others opinions and feelings who are in the same ocean, just different boats!

I just posted something somewhere, (I'm new and everytime I open a door, I can;t figure out where I was before that one!) where I was addressing EruditeJoy and Spurly on the subject of singleness. I see EruditeJoy found this place. I pray we help lift each other here. Bless and be blessed. 

Smart Americans? rofl

: msbradley  Sat Aug 05, 2006 - 11:59:47
Hmmm, I think I just might like this. How nice this will be to get others opinions and feelings who are in the same ocean, just different boats!

I just posted something somewhere, (I'm new and everytime I open a door, I can;t figure out where I was before that one!) where I was addressing EruditeJoy and Spurly on the subject of singleness. I see EruditeJoy found this place. I pray we help lift each other here. Bless and be blessed. 

if you loose something you posted, u can go to profile and resent post from this person, obviously you will be looking for your own post.
I am cool with the Indi-American kinda reather it be - Former Amirican, forward all mail to 777  Heaven lane care of Jesus  -though.

To the person who said they would like to know what goes on in our hearts and heads; its probably the same as what went on in yours when you were single: "I would love to get married and be out of this lonely situation, but I must not panic, but I am getting old, but I know I will find someone, but suppose I don't, but I know I will, yeah but just suppose I turn 40 and have never married, but how many people turn 40 unmarried?, but many seem to, etc etc."

By the way this may come as a massive shock to you guys but there are singles in the world who are not American!!

: Alistair  Wed Mar 19, 2008 - 14:56:37
To the person who said they would like to know what goes on in our hearts and heads; its probably the same as what went on in yours when you were single

As a single....what I think about is.....the remote is ALL MINE!  ::clappingoverhead::

Do you have a forum for widows/widowers

Not sure if you all know this or not, but for the first time in our nation's history there are more single 20-somethings than married...

It makes sense, given that we live in an ever-increasingly isolated and self-interested culture.

: janine  Mon Jul 24, 2006 - 22:19:39
At least you don't have to worry about whether to put Mr. or Mrs. on the address line...

I'll always be putting Mr. on the address line.  I hope when I get married that I never get confused with that one!  LOL, just thought I had to take a jab  ::smile::

what goes on in my single mind.....
Will I ever find Mr right?? When will I get married I really want to have kids and not be chasing after them with a cane... All I really want is to be a stay at home mom how in the world do I persue that when I'm not married?? Do I go to school even though theres nothing Id rather do that be a stay at home mom and wife? .... Whats next in life??

: nikki  Tue Jul 15, 2008 - 17:16:13
what goes on in my single mind.....
Will I ever find Mr right?? When will I get married I really want to have kids and not be chasing after them with a cane... All I really want is to be a stay at home mom how in the world do I persue that when I'm not married?? Do I go to school even though theres nothing Id rather do that be a stay at home mom and wife? .... Whats next in life??

Keep going to school.  Someday your own kids will grow up.  You might want to be a teacher, or something else that deals with kids, and then that degree might just come in handy.

FORNICATION: WHAT IS IT? WHEN IS IT COMMITTED?

1Corinthians 6:18; 1Corinthians 7:1-2;

Fornication is the incontinence or lewdness of unmarried persons, male or female. Occasionally, it means unchastity. Hebrews 13:4; It is a sexual intercourse a person and a unmarried person – 1Corinthians 5:1

Up to this day, this truth is well understood in the Middle East, Greece , Turkey , Syrians Christian living in Iraq , Palestine . These countries have upheld God's word that women should be virgins up to the day of their marriage, there must be proof that they are virgins, and if they are not, they can be PUT AWY right then, the same night.

Now here is how it is done based on God's word: We read in the Bible about the token of virginity. The day of the marriage, the parents of the girl give some kind of towel or cloth, and after her virginity is broken, the blood will be wiped on that cloth, and that cloth is given back to the parents of the girl to keep as a PROOF that their daughter was a virgin when she married. As soon as they get the bloody cloth, the parents proudly dance before the guests with joy that their daughter was a virgin. If she was not a virgin, sometimes the father & brothers kill the girl right there. But if they do not kill her, the bridegroom can put her away right then, and marry someone else. Such customs are still practiced in remote villages & towns in Greece , Turkey , and the Middle East .

When Joseph saw Mary was with a child, he thought of "putting Mary away privately

DATING IN CHRISTIANITY...COULD BE DANGEROUS IN PARTNER'S SELECTION!

Read Proverbs 2:7-27; Ecclesiastes 11:9-10, 2Timothy 2:22; Colossians 3:5, Romans 12:1-12; 1John 2:15-17, 2corinthians 6:1-4, 14-18

 

Dating – The habit of letting two young folks or older folks out together to try each other. It is a custom imported from the world into the Christianity because it never happened in the Bible days. The theory of try first and get acquainted is a strange fire, "sweetheart meeting

: GloryB  Wed Mar 19, 2008 - 19:40:07

: Alistair  Wed Mar 19, 2008 - 14:56:37
To the person who said they would like to know what goes on in our hearts and heads; its probably the same as what went on in yours when you were single

As a single....what I think about is.....the remote is ALL MINE!  ::clappingoverhead::

what about Godly Americans

: jmg3rd  Mon Jul 17, 2006 - 09:49:51
Should we start calling you Unhitched-Americans, Single-Americans, Unyoked-Americans, or Noncovenantal-Americans?

What about singles who are not Americans?  ::pondering::

I understand that you want to be a stay at home mom. I think that you should continue schooling/ keep busy doing the Lord's work. He know what your desires are. Trust me, you'd rather stay the way you are until the right man find you instead of you trying to jump in because of your age. So many wish that they had waited but the biological clock was ticking so they jumped in head first and regreted it until this day. Just work on yourself and when Mr. right comes along you will be even better than you are today. Remember, don't settle for less!

Truby

God is a God of orderliness, when a young man has established himself in a profession and began to earn enough money whereby he can feed himself and a wife, then he should start praying that the Lord will guide to God's choice for him to be a helpmate and establish a home and raise Godly seed. At that time, through prayer and waiting on God, He will surely guide him to the right one he has prepare for him to accomplish God's great plan in their life.

I love the idea and the ideal -

However, I am 51yo, been well employed for years - and still waiting... AND more important - I am not close to being alone.  It seems you have not made much of an effort to be in touch with a large number of singles - I think that will bring reality to bear on the sad state of older Christian singles....

Best,
Aner

: janine  Mon Jul 03, 2006 - 21:19:44
I was single once.  Back in the Stone Age.  I would like to hear what goes on in their heads and hearts these days.

I sm single and glad to be single. There are too many guys who are not gentlemen. I dated two of them
Faithlady

I did register. I cannot log in, though I received the e-mail confirming I was registered. I used the correct log in information, I did not check that I was under 18 (unless it was automatically checked in the form), and I am not using Firefox. There is no way to contact the site to figure out what went wrong, and the FAQs list did not answer my question, so I am contacting you.

Please help me!  ::frustrated::

: James.  Mon Jul 17, 2006 - 09:49:51
Should we start calling you Unhitched-Americans, Single-Americans, Unyoked-Americans, or Noncovenantal-Americans?

How about Lucky Americans?

Wheter single or married God can make you a whole and secure person, secure and whole in Him. Alot of singles think only if they could find someone that they would be happy. It is based on fraud and a lie. If you are looking for a mate let God first heal you and make you a whole and happy person, then you would be of alot more benefit to someone else. I am not saying this out of a lofty position, God had to make me whole and happy through Himself. When I got married at the age of nineteen yrs. old when the greatness of just being married wore off I was very miserable in that marriage and prayed all the time for God to give me a legitimate way to get out of the marriage. Some people, including christians are looking for mates out of all the wrong motives and reasons. Hope this helps someone. God bless you!

What a great question!  What goes through my mind?  I often wonder if I will ever find someone who is right for me.  I often find women I'm initially attracted to, but after one or two dates I usually find some reason why they aren't right. 
I want a woman who is morally straight.  She doesn't have to be a Christian but I would prefer that she be chaste.  I have been celibate for some time now and I truly believe it has helped me deal with other vices and addictions to which I was once enslaved.
I want a woman who is kind and forgiving.  Not just with me, as I probably deserve any brow-beating I might recieve, but with other people.  A generosity of spirit is something I find very compelling.
I want a woman who is honest and forthright.  I have never been any good at playing romantic "games." One thing I am trying to erase from my life is hypocrisy, and so I try to avoid it wherever possible.
I want a woman who isn't hung up on appearances.  I'm no George Clooney and I'm not looking for a beauty queen, or someone who gives much credence to what other people think of her.
I want an emotionally strong woman.  I have had difficulty with women who lead with their emotions to the detriment of all reason.
So that's what goes through my mind.  I have this wish list and every year Santa brings me a rock in my stocking.

Smart Americans is a good one...being single in a way is being "smart."

: KRISSY  Thu Jan 04, 2007 - 16:54:24
Smart Americans? rofl

::noworries:: ::giggle::

LOL... You make a wonderful point!  See? Political correctness alienates people.   ::giggle::

Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

The need for another person to make you whole and content only means that you are not ready to date.

Loneliness is a spiritual disease. This is the main cause of failure in dating.
[link removed]

I can't find anyone :(

I'm definitely matromonally challenged for sure.  I've never dated a Christian man before.  I think it's because of my extreme personality ::amen!:: lol......BUT the more I put Jesus first, the easier it is to cope with being alone

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

I totally agree. I have seen it written many times that it is only when we are happy being single, and have stopped looking for a mate, that God will find us someone. I have never heard such nonsense! I never liked being single, I love being married, and I was proactive in finding a husband, and guess what, God rewarded that, and I have an amazing husband.

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

For some people i completely agree that its best not too date till you don't need it.For me that's the case and heres why.

You need to ask yourself what do you value the most in life. For me it was the desire to be married over God.Looking back i am glad God kept a woman out of my life,because i wasn't ready yet.Had he not i would have focused more on the woman and not of God.

If God isn't more important too you than your desire to find a husband or wife you need to rethink your priorities.

Luke 9:61 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.
62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

The point isn't that marriage is wrong,but if you are not right in your walk with God you do a disservice to yourself and your future mate.

: robert9712000  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 20:06:38

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

For some people i completely agree that its best not too date till you don't need it.For me that's the case and heres why.

You need to ask yourself what do you value the most in life. For me it was the desire to be married over God.Looking back i am glad God kept a woman out of my life,because i wasn't ready yet.Had he not i would have focused more on the woman and not of God.

If God isn't more important too you than your desire to find a husband or wife you need to rethink your priorities.

Luke 9:61 And another also said, Lord, I will follow thee; but let me first go bid them farewell, which are at home at my house.
62 And Jesus said unto him, No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

The point isn't that marriage is wrong,but if you are not right in your walk with God you do a disservice to yourself and your future mate.

That has so much wisdom.  I'm the same way.  I'm glad God has kept a man from my life because I would've made that man my number one over Him. We need to be dependent on God alone, for all things.  Don't think of marriage as the ultimate goal.  The ultimate goal is to live with Christ, and fully surrendering to Him.  Marriage is just having someone by your side to worship Christ and do His work with you. 

1 Timothy 6:6 - But godliness with contentment is great gain

The site you recommend says convicted criminals cannot join. I'm not a criminal, but I've been convicted. Do you think they'd give me a pass? ...

: robert9712000  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 20:06:38

For some people i completely agree that its best not too date till you don't need it.For me that's the case and here's why.

.......

33 But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.
34 There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
35 And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.
36 But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry.

The point isn't that marriage is wrong,but if you are not right in your walk with God you do a disservice to yourself and your future mate.

But if you don't "NEED" to find someone, why even bother in the first place? You list the scriptures that say how much better it is to be single.

Singleness for me is like God asking you to take a bitter pill. Too bitter at the start until you get used to it and don't taste it anymore.

Or, it's  like a curse given to you by God for whatever reason you will only know when you face Him.

So good luck with us singles. Lol

: Aner  Wed Apr 22, 2009 - 23:28:18

God is a God of orderliness, when a young man has established himself in a profession and began to earn enough money whereby he can feed himself and a wife, then he should start praying that the Lord will guide to God's choice for him to be a helpmate and establish a home and raise Godly seed. At that time, through prayer and waiting on God, He will surely guide him to the right one he has prepare for him to accomplish God's great plan in their life.

I love the idea and the ideal -

However, I am 51yo, been well employed for years - and still waiting... AND more important - I am not close to being alone.  It seems you have not made much of an effort to be in touch with a large number of singles - I think that will bring reality to bear on the sad state of older Christian singles....

Best,
Aner

Quoting what you quote. Believe me no matter how you pray to God about it, the last word will always be His. Your prayers or even tears won't do much to change His plans. If God deemed that you stayed single, you'll be single. So, it is really better to keep in mind the possibility of being single or alone forever.

Having that perspective keeps you from being disappointed. It makes you happier, stronger... Not expectant of God to give you someone.

: chosenone  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 18:55:58

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

I totally agree. I have seen it written many times that it is only when we are happy being single, and have stopped looking for a mate, that God will find us someone. I have never heard such nonsense! I never liked being single, I love being married, and I was proactive in finding a husband, and guess what, God rewarded that, and I have an amazing husband.

Good for you! BUT... BUT it is not always the case! How many Men and women who died waiting for their mate from God???? Hahaha countless I say.

Just don't expect it to happen. Better life

: alwaysme  Fri Dec 09, 2016 - 12:13:24

: chosenone  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 18:55:58

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

I totally agree. I have seen it written many times that it is only when we are happy being single, and have stopped looking for a mate, that God will find us someone. I have never heard such nonsense! I never liked being single, I love being married, and I was proactive in finding a husband, and guess what, God rewarded that, and I have an amazing husband.

Good for you! BUT... BUT it is not always the case! How many Men and women who died waiting for their mate from God???? Hahaha countless I say.

Just don't expect it to happen. Better life

Yes i had always hoped to marry again, but I also knew that it may well have never happened.
Have you been proactive? As I always say, God isnt going to bring someone to your door. I met my husband on a Christian dating site, as did many couples I know.

: chosenone  Fri Dec 09, 2016 - 12:34:13

: alwaysme  Fri Dec 09, 2016 - 12:13:24

: chosenone  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 18:55:58

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

I totally agree. I have seen it written many times that it is only when we are happy being single, and have stopped looking for a mate, that God will find us someone. I have never heard such nonsense! I never liked being single, I love being married, and I was proactive in finding a husband, and guess what, God rewarded that, and I have an amazing husband.

Good for you! BUT... BUT it is not always the case! How many Men and women who died waiting for their mate from God???? Hahaha countless I say.

Just don't expect it to happen. Better life

Yes i had always hoped to marry again, but I also knew that it may well have never happened.
Have you been proactive? As I always say, God isnt going to bring someone to your door. I met my husband on a Christian dating site, as did many couples I know.

That's what I realized but it was already too late. I thought when I was younger, I would just spent my time serving God in ministry and being a breadwinner while trusting God He will take care of finding a mate for me. I'm not really the type of person that will make an effort to find an opposite sex or find a mate by myself. I thought that's part of having a "personal savior". Anyway,  I literally followed "see ye first... Etc. Etc"

But I am very wrong. I should have not thought of that that way. I should have not trusted God that way. I should have made an effort before. I really regret it many times lately. But it's too late so I just accept reality.

: alwaysme  Fri Dec 16, 2016 - 12:51:42

: chosenone  Fri Dec 09, 2016 - 12:34:13

: alwaysme  Fri Dec 09, 2016 - 12:13:24

: chosenone  Fri Jan 04, 2013 - 18:55:58

: DaveW  Thu Jan 03, 2013 - 16:33:26

: eaglemustfly  Sun Jan 29, 2012 - 05:16:39
Best Advice for a Single:

Date! Only When You Actually DON'T Need It

This is the most important rule before you start searching for your soul mate.

That makes as much sense as saying to eat only when you are not hungry.

If you are coming off of a 10 day fast when are you supposed to get "not hungry" enough to eat?

God was moved to make woman when he noticed that it was not good for the Man to be alone.

I totally agree. I have seen it written many times that it is only when we are happy being single, and have stopped looking for a mate, that God will find us someone. I have never heard such nonsense! I never liked being single, I love being married, and I was proactive in finding a husband, and guess what, God rewarded that, and I have an amazing husband.

Good for you! BUT... BUT it is not always the case! How many Men and women who died waiting for their mate from God???? Hahaha countless I say.

Just don't expect it to happen. Better life

Yes i had always hoped to marry again, but I also knew that it may well have never happened.
Have you been proactive? As I always say, God isnt going to bring someone to your door. I met my husband on a Christian dating site, as did many couples I know.

That's what I realized but it was already too late. I thought when I was younger, I would just spent my time serving God in ministry and being a breadwinner while trusting God He will take care of finding a mate for me. I'm not really the type of person that will make an effort to find an opposite sex or find a mate by myself. I thought that's part of having a "personal savior". Anyway,  I literally followed "see ye first... Etc. Etc"

But I am very wrong. I should have not thought of that that way. I should have not trusted God that way. I should have made an effort before. I really regret it many times lately. But it's too late so I just accept reality.

My aunt married the love of her life when she was 60 and he was 70. Its never too late.

Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

Yes I understand that you wanted children, but He will never answer a prayer that you will die. I would rather have a great marriage with no children than no marriage at all. 

: chosenone  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 13:27:18

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

Yes I understand that you wanted children, but He will never answer a prayer that you will die. I would rather have a great marriage with no children than no marriage at all.

Chosen....

So would I.

But at my age, and having prayed and waited for 51 years... since I was 18... and finding no one, or better said... no one wanting me, no everyone gets a shot at that brass ring.

It takes someone who has lived a life, alone , to understand what always me is saying.

I now get it.... it was never to be for me.

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao. ??? ?

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

That's just absurdity, I'm 54 and married my wife 2 1/2 years ago, this has been the best time of my life without exception. You seem to be saying to God, "I want it when I want it, not when YOU deem fit, if I can't have it when I want it I don't want it at all". You're writing off what could be something truly wonderful because it doesn't fit into your "plan".  ::frown::

: Rella  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 19:01:56

: chosenone  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 13:27:18

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao.????

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

Yes I understand that you wanted children, but He will never answer a prayer that you will die. I would rather have a great marriage with no children than no marriage at all.

Chosen....

So would I.

But at my age, and having prayed and waited for 51 years... since I was 18... and finding no one, or better said... no one wanting me, no everyone gets a shot at that brass ring.

It takes someone who has lived a life, alone , to understand what always me is saying.

I now get it.... it was never to be for me.

I have some lovely women close to me who are in the same position as you. There are quite a lot of Christian women in the same position sadly due to the lack of godly men. I do get where you are coming from, but I also have a close friend who married at 40, never did get pregnant, but who has an amazing marriage and full life. They travel all the time and have many friends. My aunt too had a very happy marriage at 60. Its never too late for love, even if without children.

My advise is always to be very proactive.  Many Christians are meeting on Christian dating sites now, I think I know about 8 or 9 couples who met this way including us. Getting involved in as much as you can where you will meet other Christians is another ploy. As my friends husband said to their 30 year old son, you aren't going to meet anyone sitting at home all the time.   

: Alan  Sat Jan 07, 2017 - 07:18:29

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao. ??? ?

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

That's just absurdity, I'm 54 and married my wife 2 1/2 years ago, this has been the best time of my life without exception. You seem to be saying to God, "I want it when I want it, not when YOU deem fit, if I can't have it when I want it I don't want it at all". You're writing off what could be something truly wonderful because it doesn't fit into your "plan".  ::frown::

Exactly, we were age 48 and 49 when we married 11 years ago. How is marrying the love of you life at 50 an insult??? I watched a programme the other day about old people finding love (and I mean old people, not 50's or 60's)and they were getting married in their 70's-90's. I think thats amazing. 
If you have already written later love off as 'an insult', then its not going to happen.
You may even meet someone who has children and grandchildren who you can enjoy with them.

: chosenone  Sat Jan 07, 2017 - 10:32:34

: Alan  Sat Jan 07, 2017 - 07:18:29

: alwaysme  Fri Jan 06, 2017 - 12:47:17

: chosenone  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 23:09:52

: alwaysme  Sat Dec 31, 2016 - 15:05:15
Lmao. ??? ?

I'd say "No thank!" you if it will be just when I turned 70. Besides, I expect to die at 50.

Why do you say that?

i married my soul mate when we were both nearly 50. Its never to late for love and companionship.

It's because what I asked and wanted is a family. Marrying first time at 50 is just an insult for me or something. It's like putting salt on the wound. So I honestly will say "God, thanks but no thanks. Just bring me home. " it's just a disappointment so never mind.

That's just absurdity, I'm 54 and married my wife 2 1/2 years ago, this has been the best time of my life without exception. You seem to be saying to God, "I want it when I want it, not when YOU deem fit, if I can't have it when I want it I don't want it at all". You're writing off what could be something truly wonderful because it doesn't fit into your "plan".  ::frown::

Exactly, we were age 48 and 49 when we married 11 years ago. How is marrying the love of you life at 50 an insult??? I watched a programme the other day about old people finding love (and I mean old people, not 50's or 60's)and they were getting married in their 70's-90's. I think thats amazing. 
If you have already written later love off as 'an insult', then its not going to happen.
You may even meet someone who has children and grandchildren who you can enjoy with them.

Yep, there are many different scenarios that could transpire into having a truly wonderful and loving relationship, stomping your feet on the ground because it's not happening in your timeline will hinder it from ever happening. 

What do you call 10-20 years or more of being alone? Can you consider that a blessing or a curse, especially when God said "It's not good for man to be alone."?

Personally, I would rather not wait and expect anymore and survive life daily than live expecting and hoping it to happen. If God wills it, so be it. If not, so be it. It's just tiring to hope or wait. I'd rather be used to being alone and be happy than always wanting something that's not happening. It is just too disappointing.

Accepting the reality of life is where I am right now. Realizing that not all prayers are given that's why there is NO in His answer, it's not God's responsibility to provide a spouse, not all dreams come true, marriage is not for all, being alone is still a "future" (Jer. 29:11), and this is the future God has for me.

: alwaysme  Sat Jan 07, 2017 - 12:35:02
What do you call 10-20 years or more of being alone? Can you consider that a blessing or a curse, especially when God said "It's not good for man to be alone."?

Personally, I would rather not wait and expect anymore and survive life daily than live expecting and hoping it to happen. If God wills it, so be it. If not, so be it. It's just tiring to hope or wait. I'd rather be used to being alone and be happy than always wanting something that's not happening. It is just too disappointing.

Accepting the reality of life is where I am right now. Realizing that not all prayers are given that's why there is NO in His answer, it's not God's responsibility to provide a spouse, not all dreams come true, marriage is not for all, being alone is still a "future" (Jer. 29:11), and this is the future God has for me.

How do you know what future God has for you??? Maybe, just maybe, He wants you to get out there and make new friends and meet new people. Be proactive. if I hadn't done that I would probably still be alone now, 17 years after my first marriage ended.

We are very different, because to me hope is vital. Its kept me going through terrible times, the hope that is in me.   
When my first marriage suddenly ended after 23 years, I was in my 40's. After 4 years of trying to recover, I began to think about the possibility of getting married again.  I knew that the number of available Christian men of that sort of age was very very small, and this was confirmed after I had spent some time on Christian dating sites where the numbers of women were about 3 to 1 men, and this got worse as the ages increased.
So looking at it realistically, the chances of me meeting a good man and getting married again seemed slim. However I believe in being proactive. I also had hope. I also know that God can do things that seem impossible.
So, as I said to myself, a man isn't going to turn up at you door. I was on various Christian dating sites for 2 years before I met my now husband. I had been in communication with countless men, and had met 3 before my husband. A lady who I made friends with through one of these sites, who was also in her 40's, was on it for 7 YEARS before she met her husband. She had hope and she didn't give up.
Hope is vital, without it we can get bitter and angry and resentful. 

It's simply because of what God is giving me right now. I'd rather accept it now so I can plan my life alone than hope for another endless years and wake up still alone.

I'm done hoping. It will just disappoint me again.

There are people who kept hoping till their 50s and 60s and wake up alone. That's the only time they started to accept the fate they have. I don't want to waste my time hoping for nothing. I did it already.

And yes I used to be proactive but only during my late 20s. I was a breadwinner and had to focus on working for my family for most of my 20ish years. Back then that I didn't have time for myself I relied on God to work it out for me. But well His plan is different. This is what he is giving me---a life alone. So no choice but to accept it.

: alwaysme  Sun Jan 08, 2017 - 11:10:38
It's simply because of what God is giving me right now. I'd rather accept it now so I can plan my life alone than hope for another endless years and wake up still alone.

I'm done hoping. It will just disappoint me again.

There are people who kept hoping till their 50s and 60s and wake up alone. That's the only time they started to accept the fate they have. I don't want to waste my time hoping for nothing. I did it already.

And yes I used to be proactive but only during my late 20s. I was a breadwinner and had to focus on working for my family for most of my 20ish years. Back then that I didn't have time for myself I relied on God to work it out for me. But well His plan is different. This is what he is giving me---a life alone. So no choice but to accept it.

You may be alone in this season but that could change at any time, keeping your mind open to what tomorrow may bring is healthy living. You,I, nor anyone else knows the details of God's plan for us, yet you seem to know since He has not fulfilled your desires as of yet and have concluded that your situation is finite. Those are YOUR plans, not God's. 

: alwaysme  Sun Jan 08, 2017 - 11:10:38
It's simply because of what God is giving me right now. I'd rather accept it now so I can plan my life alone than hope for another endless years and wake up still alone.

I'm done hoping. It will just disappoint me again.

There are people who kept hoping till their 50s and 60s and wake up alone. That's the only time they started to accept the fate they have. I don't want to waste my time hoping for nothing. I did it already.

And yes I used to be proactive but only during my late 20s. I was a breadwinner and had to focus on working for my family for most of my 20ish years. Back then that I didn't have time for myself I relied on God to work it out for me. But well His plan is different. This is what he is giving me---a life alone. So no choice but to accept it.

At 32 you have a very negative attitude. There is NOTHING to stop you from being proactive now. Have you tried internet dating and persisted at it? You have another 10 years or so when you could have children.
I have been though terrible times in my past, I could easily have given up hope for things to ever change or getting better. Thank God I didn't.

Have you heard that phrase 'you are what you say?' Thats got a lot of truth in it. If your attitude is that things will never improve, or you will never be happy, then guess what, you are right. If you have a more thankful and positive attitude, if you trust God that He does have good plans for you as He promises, then the world is your oyster.
God isnt going to bring a man knocking on your door. In the end its up to you whether you make the effort or not.