Would I be going to far to say that there has to be a physical attraction for a relationship to work?
People tell me to look at someones heart, not how they look. It baffles me that people don't see the need for there to be physical attraction.
God already has someone in mind for most of us, someone he matched perfectly to us. I would think physical attraction would be apart of that process.
The reason I say this is because alot of people tell me I am too picky. I know what I like and I am sure God does too since he designed me. But I have also been accused that it's not Christian like, and sometimes I quarrel with myself about it.
I guess my stand point on it is im not gunna settle unless she is perfect for me, and as vane as it sounds to some people, physical attraction is apart of it.
Sounds like a good plan to me, but don't be too surprised if your own human nature trips you up. One of these days you may be in a grocery store buying a bag of dog food when all the sudden you notice her standing there. Once you make eye contact, it's over, done, no turning back. She "is" the one whether she fits neatly into your preconceived plan or not. :)
Yes, I think physical attraction is important. Most of us would not pursue a relationship with someone they personally found to be repulsive. But the question is, what is physical beauty and who gets to define it?
Do you define beauty as what is presented as such by the media, after spending hours in makeup, with modeling training on how to walk, tilt their head, etc. After spending months recovering from all kinds of plastic surgery. After spending tons of money on clothes and accessories. Is that the kind of beauty you're looking for?
Real beauty is a personal thing and is in the mind of the beholder. The beauty you look for can't be defined by a list of predefined attributes, but rather you just accept it where you find it. As OneLung says, once you see that certain someone, probably by serendipity, your list goes in the trash can.
Tom M.
This is were the problem arises. People assume, when I try and talk about it in my church, I have some predefined list of certain physical qualities.
I simply look at someone and there is either attraction or thier isn't. It's not something I can help or train. There is no grey area. I'm not saying they are not attractive by any means, im just saying "I'm" not attracted to them. By all rights it is a personal thing, but why are so many so quick to label you wordly because you say your not attracted to the way someone looks?
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 10:01:01
...but why are so many so quick to label you wordly because you say your not attracted to the way someone looks?
When people start saying things like "worldly" and "of the flesh" to me, it triggers a red flag and I usually disassociate myself from them.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:25:18
...I know what I like...
This is were the problem arises. People assume, when I try and talk about it in my church, I have some predefined list of certain physical qualities.
That sounds like a contradiction to me. Nevertheless, perhaps I did make an unwarranted assumption. But I do still think the media leads most of us to believe that their presentation of "beautiful" is real, leading to unrealistic expectations in real life.
Tom M.
: OneLung Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 10:11:40
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 10:01:01
...but why are so many so quick to label you wordly because you say your not attracted to the way someone looks?
When people start saying things like "worldly" and "of the flesh" to me, it triggers a red flag and I usually disassociate myself from them.
Yeah, sadly im not real good at avoiding conflict. I am more of a lets debate and try to learn from it kinda guy.
Sorry MrQuietGuy it wouldnt let me quote you, or I might be doing it wrong lol, in any-case.
Beauty to me is like art, you either find the picture attractive or you don't, but it dosnt mean its not beautiful. I don't favor certain colors or shades. In turn I don't favor hair color, eye color, bust size, clothing or anything like that. I can find people beautiful and not have an attraction to them. If the media does have control over what I find attractive im in trouble because I find most of the women I see on television not attractive at all, beautiful in thier own right, but not my cup of tea.
King Solomon had quite a bit to say about female physical beauty, yet his dad, King David, physical attraction got him in a whole lot of trouble.
love,
sopranette
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 10:39:24
King Solomon had quite a bit to say about female physical beauty, yet his dad, King David, physical attraction got him in a whole lot of trouble.
Oh, so it was David's fault that all those women made themselves available because their husbands were out of town? rofl
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
OK to clarify, I am not trying to make a line on what is beautiful and what isn't.
I trust God, that when I meet who ever he has destined for me, attraction will not be a problem.
The problem arises when I speak the truth and say I will not marry someone I am not physically attracted too. To me when God promises me something, it will be perfect in every regard. I understand the easiest way out when someone asks for an opinion is to label it as worldly or of the flesh because of the automatic assumption that they are only attracted to some beautiful blond bay watch babe. The reason this troubles me is because I hear time and time again that looks shouldn't matter. My point is if we wait for who ever God designed for us, it wouldn't even be an issue.
I could settle for someone that I'm not attracted too, but get along great with and label it as "well its the Christian thing to do because I should only look at their heart", or I could wait and marry the person God has designed for me, witch will rock my world in every way. It makes me wonder how many people have married out of pressure from their church and peers, instead of waiting for God's plan.
You probably don't have freedom of choice when it comes to who you will fall in love with, but you do have freedom of choice when it comes to who you associate with. Maybe you should consider exercising that freedom.
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
just shows you that no matter how many wives a guy has, he is never satisfied...................
Some things never change and probably never will. :)
: chosenone Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:14:26
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
just shows you that no matter how many wives a guy has, he is never satisfied...................
Perhaps it started out as a simple anatomical comparison study of the various social classes of the eastern meditarrean.
I do think that there has to be that 'something' that we are attracted to, but sometimes the person who we meet isnt the 'ideal' looking person that we thought we wanted, but to us they are attractive.
Also a person can become more or less atrractive after we have known then for a while according to their personality. Some times very attractive people can be very arrogant and will use their looks to get what they want , you see it all the time, yet a slightly more average looking person can become more beautiful becuase they have a beautiful character or personality.
I dont agree that many people get married becuase of pressures form the church, that would be a very bad reason to marry
.Yes wait for that special person but she may look nothing like what you are imagining. I do think that most men want to have this beautiful women that is on their mind, but most fall in love with someone who is just like them, ie normal and usually average,and they are very happy.
: OneLung Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:17:39
Some things never change and probably never will. :)
why is it that most women are happy with their one guy and men often arent? Greed I guess, and sometimes we as human beings are never satisfied are we..
: zoonance Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:18:50
: chosenone Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:14:26
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
just shows you that no matter how many wives a guy has, he is never satisfied...................
Perhaps it started out as a simple anatomical comparison study of the various social classes of the eastern meditarrean.
well I've never heard it put THAT way before.................
Some studies suggest that young men have a tendency to fall in love with women who are emotionally similar to their mother. Kind of creepy when you think about it. :)
: zoonance Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:18:50
[Perhaps it started out as a simple anatomical comparison study of the various social classes of the eastern meditarrean.
Yes, I once conducted a similar study on the West Coast of Southern California. :)
We're not blowing you off, Archibald. When you find her, you'll know it. Until then, enjoy the game. :)
No worries, the mind wanders.
I do agree with chosen on personality and character can affect our attraction to someone. There are a variety of things that contribute to it.
It just boggles my mind that a Christian can say "Well I just don't like his/her personality." and thats acceptable, but as soon as a Christian says "I am not attracted to the way he/she looks.", you get questioned and acused.
: chosenone Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:22:14
Some times very attractive people can be very arrogant and will use their looks to get what they want
Not true. I work very hard and I am the poster-boy of humbleness. ::bueno::
Archibald (I apologize, I don't know your name), I completely agree with you on everything. Physical attraction is what generally catches your attention first. And everyone is attracted to different types of people.
I've been attracted to men before when others around me begged to differ. Some times it's not even their facial features that we find attractive, but their character and the way a person moves, and their body language.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:54:20
No worries, the mind wanders.
I do agree with chosen on personality and character can affect our attraction to someone. There are a variety of things that contribute to it.
It just boggles my mind that a Christian can say "Well I just don't like his/her personality." and thats acceptable, but as soon as a Christian says "I am not attracted to the way he/she looks.", you get questioned and acused.
lol. yeah it's hypocritical isn't it. You might think it, but you don't
say it.
(Or risk getting sat on.)
Yeah, I think physical attraction is important. But that being said - arranged marriages have a higher sucess rate then non-arranged, apparently.
Also falling in love with someone can make them more attractive to you.
I think just go with the flow and ignore people who try and pressure you into settling for someone you're not happy with - but also realise that God isn't going to give us anybody better then us. (Because it wouldn't be fair to them.)
: OneLung Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:35:37
Sounds like a good plan to me, but don't be too surprised if your own human nature trips you up. One of these days you may be in a grocery store buying a bag of dog food when all the sudden you notice her standing there. Once you make eye contact, it's over, done, no turning back. She "is" the one whether she fits neatly into your preconceived plan or not. :)
This is 100% correct. Your mind will give you an idea of what you think is pretty (and a lot of it probably comes from media: tv, magazines, etc.)...but when you meet the right woman BAM...she is it. If she is brunette...and you were convinced you liked blondes...you'll have no idea what changed...but it did.
Have fun waiting for the right woman. Ball is in your court to decide who you marry...don't let anyone pressure you.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 10:01:01
By all rights it is a personal thing, but why are so many so quick to label you wordly because you say your not attracted to the way someone looks?
Because they are upset that you don't desire them...or whomever they are talking about. Everyone wants to be a matchmaker.
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
I believe Bathsheba was bathing in the King's line of sight first ;) I have a hard time believing they didn't have some form of cloth to shield their bathing area from society.
: fanuvmxpx Thu Apr 16, 2009 - 12:20:53
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
I believe Bathsheba was bathing in the King's line of sight first ;) I have a hard time believing they didn't have some form of cloth to shield their bathing area from society.
David was on the roof of the castle...high up. And it was night time with only the moon to light the area. He had a bird's eye view whereas others couldn't see over the fence.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:54:20
No worries, the mind wanders.
I do agree with chosen on personality and character can affect our attraction to someone. There are a variety of things that contribute to it.
It just boggles my mind that a Christian can say "Well I just don't like his/her personality." and thats acceptable, but as soon as a Christian says "I am not attracted to the way he/she looks.", you get questioned and acused.
Yeah, that's stupid. God made us mind, body and spirit. So why would we not want to be attracted on all those levels? It was God who made our eyes attracted to certain looks, so tell them to take it up with HIM.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:25:18
Would I be going to far to say that there has to be a physical attraction for a relationship to work?
People tell me to look at someones heart, not how they look. It baffles me that people don't see the need for there to be physical attraction.
God already has someone in mind for most of us, someone he matched perfectly to us. I would think physical attraction would be apart of that process.
The reason I say this is because alot of people tell me I am too picky. I know what I like and I am sure God does too since he designed me. But I have also been accused that it's not Christian like, and sometimes I quarrel with myself about it.
I guess my stand point on it is im not gunna settle unless she is perfect for me, and as vane as it sounds to some people, physical attraction is apart of it.
Don't sell yourself short! And don't listen to people who say physical attraction should not be part of the equation. It is, and you can't fake it. It needs to be there, please believe me.
I recently tried the internet dating scene, at a Christian website. I met a guy from my state and we talked for about a month and a half over the phone and exchanged emails. We decided to meet because we lived only about 2 hours from eachother. What I didn't count on was that my first impression of meeting him in person was one of disappointment. He was somewhat homely looking. (Not cute.) I knew instantaneously from the moment I saw him that I was not interested in him in a romantic way...at all. It was unfortunate, because I had developed an emotional connection with him, by talking with him over the phone. At least I have a good friend now, but I was still very disappointed.
My one Christian girlfriend was trying to tell me that because we had a good relationship over the phone, that I should basically give him a chance, regardless of what he looks like. I was upset at that, because he really kindof grosses me out!!!! What bad advice! At first, I thought maybe she was right, but I'm like, c'mon, your husband is a good looking guy... why should you tell me to compromise on looks. I got the same bad advice from my best friend, initially...and then over time she told me that he was a complete psycho, and she was "scared for me". Uy yi yi! I told her she did not need to be that worried. Anyways. Use caution when "internet dating".
And please, don't settle for someone you are not attracted to. You have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life. You have to be intimate with them. Don't settle! Think about it...God knows who would be attractive to us, so He has that person waiting for us. Did God give Adam an unattractive Eve, who He was like: Sorry, Dude, I know she's not the hottest, but it's the best I could do? No! He was like, there you go, Dude! I created only the best for you! I know you well! (God has that person for you, too! )
Love your Sister in Christ,
Kristina
Of course, God probably doesn't use the word "Dude" LOL
: OneLung Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:29:42
Some studies suggest that young men have a tendency to fall in love with women who are emotionally similar to their mother. Kind of creepy when you think about it. :)
Yeh my husband did that with his first wife and that is why their marriage wasnt good. Both are controlling, manipulative and bossy. Fortunately I am very different from his mum.( I hope) ::smile::
: kristinaf Sat Apr 25, 2009 - 15:28:09
Of course, God probably doesn't use the word "Dude" LOL
Haha, I ALWAYS use "Dude" when I'm talking to God. I'm like, "Oh dude, no way. You do NOT want me to really talk to that person, do you? Aw man... I gotta do it..." and then laugh to myself.
Back on topic: This is one of the reasons I've kind of held back from dating. Guys have written me notes before asking me out and saying that they think I'm cute. When this was happening, I was kind of... too tomboyish, and I never believed that they thought I was cute, so I'd turn them down. That, or I'd turn them down for the simple reason that the first thing they'd mention was their physical attraction to me. Kind of made me think they were shallow or something.
So it's odd that I've made those decisions because I really do think that there needs to be a certain level of physical attraction. I think it really depends on the two people of how important that the initial physical attraction is.
Yeah. Because people can be more attractive on some days then other days and extra weight and bad haircuts can make a difference too.
That's why getting to know someone is so important. If you can't picture them as old and ugly and still love them then it's probably not very deep. And if you can't picture yourself liking them more if they suddenly skyrocketed into model status through a workout program and a professional makeover then it's bad too. (And if you can, then somethings probably wrong ::looking around::)
otherwise we could end up like this
::beatingdeadhorse::
lol. had to use that smiley
I think for initial attraction, looks can be a lot more important - but after that - nyer. If it doesn't get deeper then it has to be time to move on.
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:50:34
OK to clarify, I am not trying to make a line on what is beautiful and what isn't.
I trust God, that when I meet who ever he has destined for me, attraction will not be a problem.
The problem arises when I speak the truth and say I will not marry someone I am not physically attracted too. To me when God promises me something, it will be perfect in every regard. I understand the easiest way out when someone asks for an opinion is to label it as worldly or of the flesh because of the automatic assumption that they are only attracted to some beautiful blond bay watch babe. The reason this troubles me is because I hear time and time again that looks shouldn't matter. My point is if we wait for who ever God designed for us, it wouldn't even be an issue.
I could settle for someone that I'm not attracted too, but get along great with and label it as "well its the Christian thing to do because I should only look at their heart", or I could wait and marry the person God has designed for me, witch will rock my world in every way. It makes me wonder how many people have married out of pressure from their church and peers, instead of waiting for God's plan.
It's your choice at the end. But if you choose to ignore God's plan for you, you could end up in troubled water. Looks fade. So, you better have something of substance that is more important to you than a woman that is comparable to the thousands of subliminal messages you get every day. You know, the ones that say what a woman should look and act like. Follow God's message, you'll find the future you thankful and content.
looks do fade like 20 years before you die, there are like 20 to 30 years inbetween where looks are a big deal, so 20 to 30 years of time not being attracted to someone is a big deal.
: Fem2009 Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:13:25
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:50:34
OK to clarify, I am not trying to make a line on what is beautiful and what isn't.
I trust God, that when I meet who ever he has destined for me, attraction will not be a problem.
The problem arises when I speak the truth and say I will not marry someone I am not physically attracted too. To me when God promises me something, it will be perfect in every regard. I understand the easiest way out when someone asks for an opinion is to label it as worldly or of the flesh because of the automatic assumption that they are only attracted to some beautiful blond bay watch babe. The reason this troubles me is because I hear time and time again that looks shouldn't matter. My point is if we wait for who ever God designed for us, it wouldn't even be an issue.
I could settle for someone that I'm not attracted too, but get along great with and label it as "well its the Christian thing to do because I should only look at their heart", or I could wait and marry the person God has designed for me, witch will rock my world in every way. It makes me wonder how many people have married out of pressure from their church and peers, instead of waiting for God's plan.
It's your choice at the end. But if you choose to ignore God's plan for you, you could end up in troubled water. Looks fade. So, you better have something of substance that is more important to you than a woman that is comparable to the thousands of subliminal messages you get every day. You know, the ones that say what a woman should look and act like. Follow God's message, you'll find the future you thankful and content.
: rppearso Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:32:35
looks do fade like 20 years before you die, there are like 20 to 30 years inbetween where looks are a big deal, so 20 to 30 years of time not being attracted to someone is a big deal.
: Fem2009 Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:13:25
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:50:34
OK to clarify, I am not trying to make a line on what is beautiful and what isn't.
I trust God, that when I meet who ever he has destined for me, attraction will not be a problem.
The problem arises when I speak the truth and say I will not marry someone I am not physically attracted too. To me when God promises me something, it will be perfect in every regard. I understand the easiest way out when someone asks for an opinion is to label it as worldly or of the flesh because of the automatic assumption that they are only attracted to some beautiful blond bay watch babe. The reason this troubles me is because I hear time and time again that looks shouldn't matter. My point is if we wait for who ever God designed for us, it wouldn't even be an issue.
I could settle for someone that I'm not attracted too, but get along great with and label it as "well its the Christian thing to do because I should only look at their heart", or I could wait and marry the person God has designed for me, witch will rock my world in every way. It makes me wonder how many people have married out of pressure from their church and peers, instead of waiting for God's plan.
It's your choice at the end. But if you choose to ignore God's plan for you, you could end up in troubled water. Looks fade. So, you better have something of substance that is more important to you than a woman that is comparable to the thousands of subliminal messages you get every day. You know, the ones that say what a woman should look and act like. Follow God's message, you'll find the future you thankful and content.
I'm sorry but I beg to differ. Each person ages differently. I've seen 30 yr olds wrinkled and 50 yr old with lots of melanin without a wrinkle anywhere. So, since you never know what you'll end up with, your list should not put looks first. To stick to the subject (this is a christian site so you need to remember that) If you have a horrid accident tomorrow-burned face, severed body part-I'd hope you have a wife who will stick to her vows and not leave you. Because life is about supporting each other, putting looks first leaves room for much disappointment. The most beautiful woman can be the ugliest person inside. Personality, kindness, devotion to God, loyalty, intelligence are all attributes that can improve both partners lives IMMENSELY.
So im guessing if someone disagrees with you there a non-christian, so a requirement of being a christian is you must be in agreement with Fem2009, is that short for feminist or female. I did not disagree with anything you said, I would not leave a wife if she was injured and I agree there are things much more important than looks but physical attraction has to be part of the equation to some extent at least to the extent that you are able to lay with them in a marriage bed otherwise there will be alot of problems and seting yourself up for problems is foolishness.
: Fem2009 Tue May 19, 2009 - 21:24:40
: rppearso Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:32:35
looks do fade like 20 years before you die, there are like 20 to 30 years inbetween where looks are a big deal, so 20 to 30 years of time not being attracted to someone is a big deal.
: Fem2009 Tue May 19, 2009 - 20:13:25
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:50:34
OK to clarify, I am not trying to make a line on what is beautiful and what isn't.
I trust God, that when I meet who ever he has destined for me, attraction will not be a problem.
The problem arises when I speak the truth and say I will not marry someone I am not physically attracted too. To me when God promises me something, it will be perfect in every regard. I understand the easiest way out when someone asks for an opinion is to label it as worldly or of the flesh because of the automatic assumption that they are only attracted to some beautiful blond bay watch babe. The reason this troubles me is because I hear time and time again that looks shouldn't matter. My point is if we wait for who ever God designed for us, it wouldn't even be an issue.
I could settle for someone that I'm not attracted too, but get along great with and label it as "well its the Christian thing to do because I should only look at their heart", or I could wait and marry the person God has designed for me, witch will rock my world in every way. It makes me wonder how many people have married out of pressure from their church and peers, instead of waiting for God's plan.
It's your choice at the end. But if you choose to ignore God's plan for you, you could end up in troubled water. Looks fade. So, you better have something of substance that is more important to you than a woman that is comparable to the thousands of subliminal messages you get every day. You know, the ones that say what a woman should look and act like. Follow God's message, you'll find the future you thankful and content.
I'm sorry but I beg to differ, you non-christian. Each person ages differently. I've seen 30 yr olds wrinkled and 50 yr old with lots of melanin without a wrinkle anywhere. So, since you never know what you'll end up with, your list should not put looks first. To stick to the subject (this is a christian site so you need to remember that) If you have a horrid accident tomorrow-burned face, severed body part-I'd hope you have a wife who will stick to her vows and not leave you. Because life is about supporting each other, putting looks first leaves room for much disappointment. The most beautiful woman can be the ugliest person inside. Personality, kindness, devotion to God, loyalty, intelligence are all attributes that can improve both partners lives IMMENSELY.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Physical attraction is important, and I dare say those that say it isn't are full of it.
And there are different strokes for different folks. Some guys like the BBW's. Other's like skinny minnies. Some like em in between.
Looks are like a college degree, it gets you an interview, but it won't get you hired. And it's natural, God made men and women to be attractive to each other.
Substance is what seals the deal.
I could not agree more with that.
: Gary Wed May 20, 2009 - 00:21:02
Physical attraction is important, and I dare say those that say it isn't are full of it.
And there are different strokes for different folks. Some guys like the BBW's. Other's like skinny minnies. Some like em in between.
Looks are like a college degree, it gets you an interview, but it won't get you hired. And it's natural, God made men and women to be attractive to each other.
Substance is what seals the deal.
: Gary Wed May 20, 2009 - 00:21:02
Physical attraction is important, and I dare say those that say it isn't are full of it.
And there are different strokes for different folks. Some guys like the BBW's. Other's like skinny minnies. Some like em in between.
Looks are like a college degree, it gets you an interview, but it won't get you hired. And it's natural, God made men and women to be attractive to each other.
Substance is what seals the deal.
I agree Gary. However, my husband isnt my 'ideal' rugby player type of build, and I am not my husbands ideal 'ultra skinny' type of woman and yet we have a brilliant marriage and are really happy, so while there does have to be an attraction, that 'certain something' that we cant always define, we dont always end up with the type that we thought we wanted.
So I would say. have an open mind and dont get too narrow in your preference.
if we allow God to find our partner, He ALWAYS knows who is the best one for us, and the marriage is far more likely to work than if we rely on who WE think we should have.God has far more sense than we do and he also knows that we often choose someone who is totally wrong for us. This is proved by the numerous posts on forums about those whose marriages have failed after a very short time.
: Gary Wed May 20, 2009 - 00:21:02
Physical attraction is important, and I dare say those that say it isn't are full of it.
And there are different strokes for different folks. Some guys like the BBW's. Other's like skinny minnies. Some like em in between.
Looks are like a college degree, it gets you an interview, but it won't get you hired. And it's natural, God made men and women to be attractive to each other.
Substance is what seals the deal.
He also made us with ears, mouths, brains and souls. As a christian, I would not put physical attraction high on my list bc I believe it is worldy. Here is your statement on the flip side:
Beautiful women find money important. Can you provide an extravagant lifestyle? Do you drive a six figure car that will "get you an interview with her?"
: chosenone Wed May 20, 2009 - 04:34:30
I agree Gary. However, my husband isnt my 'ideal' rugby player type of build, and I am not my husbands ideal 'ultra skinny' type of woman and yet we have a brilliant marriage and are really happy, so while there does have to be an attraction, that 'certain something' that we cant always define, we dont always end up with the type that we thought we wanted.
So I would say. have an open mind and dont get too narrow in your preference.
if we allow God to find our partner, He ALWAYS knows who is the best one for us, and the marriage is far more likely to work than if we rely on who WE think we should have.God has far more sense than we do and he also knows that we often choose someone who is totally wrong for us. This is proved by the numerous posts on forums about those whose marriages have failed after a very short time.
Sometimes you can tell when people are attractive even without athletic figures. I used to have an athletic body playing sports and my wife used to have striking curves before 'the pill' got to her (My wife's cooking was too good to pass up, as evidenced by the gut I have going).
We may not currently be "hot" according to society...but I think we're both pretty good looking still =). The Mrs. doesn't have the body of a model...but she is prettier than 90% of the models I see hands down.
: fanuvmxpx Wed May 20, 2009 - 15:41:22
: chosenone Wed May 20, 2009 - 04:34:30
I agree Gary. However, my husband isnt my 'ideal' rugby player type of build, and I am not my husbands ideal 'ultra skinny' type of woman and yet we have a brilliant marriage and are really happy, so while there does have to be an attraction, that 'certain something' that we cant always define, we dont always end up with the type that we thought we wanted.
So I would say. have an open mind and dont get too narrow in your preference.
if we allow God to find our partner, He ALWAYS knows who is the best one for us, and the marriage is far more likely to work than if we rely on who WE think we should have.God has far more sense than we do and he also knows that we often choose someone who is totally wrong for us. This is proved by the numerous posts on forums about those whose marriages have failed after a very short time.
Sometimes you can tell when people are attractive even without athletic figures. I used to have an athletic body playing sports and my wife used to have striking curves before 'the pill' got to her (My wife's cooking was too good to pass up, as evidenced by the gut I have going).
We may not currently be "hot" according to society...but I think we're both pretty good looking still =). The Mrs. doesn't have the body of a model...but she is prettier than 90% of the models I see hands down.
I'm sure your opinion on your pretty wife comes from the deeper connection you have built with her over the years. It's great that you are still attracted to her.
: kristinaf Sat Apr 25, 2009 - 15:25:58
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:25:18
Would I be going to far to say that there has to be a physical attraction for a relationship to work?
People tell me to look at someones heart, not how they look. It baffles me that people don't see the need for there to be physical attraction.
God already has someone in mind for most of us, someone he matched perfectly to us. I would think physical attraction would be apart of that process.
The reason I say this is because alot of people tell me I am too picky. I know what I like and I am sure God does too since he designed me. But I have also been accused that it's not Christian like, and sometimes I quarrel with myself about it.
I guess my stand point on it is im not gunna settle unless she is perfect for me, and as vane as it sounds to some people, physical attraction is apart of it.
Don't sell yourself short! And don't listen to people who say physical attraction should not be part of the equation. It is, and you can't fake it. It needs to be there, please believe me.
I recently tried the internet dating scene, at a Christian website. I met a guy from my state and we talked for about a month and a half over the phone and exchanged emails. We decided to meet because we lived only about 2 hours from eachother. What I didn't count on was that my first impression of meeting him in person was one of disappointment. He was somewhat homely looking. (Not cute.) I knew instantaneously from the moment I saw him that I was not interested in him in a romantic way...at all. It was unfortunate, because I had developed an emotional connection with him, by talking with him over the phone. At least I have a good friend now, but I was still very disappointed.
My one Christian girlfriend was trying to tell me that because we had a good relationship over the phone, that I should basically give him a chance, regardless of what he looks like. I was upset at that, because he really kindof grosses me out!!!! What bad advice! At first, I thought maybe she was right, but I'm like, c'mon, your husband is a good looking guy... why should you tell me to compromise on looks. I got the same bad advice from my best friend, initially...and then over time she told me that he was a complete psycho, and she was "scared for me". Uy yi yi! I told her she did not need to be that worried. Anyways. Use caution when "internet dating".
And please, don't settle for someone you are not attracted to. You have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life. You have to be intimate with them. Don't settle! Think about it...God knows who would be attractive to us, so He has that person waiting for us. Did God give Adam an unattractive Eve, who He was like: Sorry, Dude, I know she's not the hottest, but it's the best I could do? No! He was like, there you go, Dude! I created only the best for you! I know you well! (God has that person for you, too! )
Love your Sister in Christ,
Kristina
If God has that person for you, then it is not your choice to say whether their gross or not. That man may not have been Brad Pitt but he could have turned out to be a loyal, honest loving person-isn't that worth more than looks? Aren't you aware that LOOKS FADE?
How many ways are to express the thought,Beauty is in the eye of the beholder? I`ll refrain from a long dissertation. The quick true answer 'as many as there are people'. If there were only one true ideal woman or man consider how terribly disappointed the rest of the wold population would be. ::tippinghat::
I agree walker starr
I see "physical attraction" more in mannerisms.
Overall, though, it was one thing I learned to see God's way. "Beautiful" is described by Peter (in the feminine sense) as "quiet and gentle spirit," and of COURSE, "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (and this is in the context of looking for the right spouse, Proverbs).
Women who are unnattractive to me are "loud and defiant." (Proverbs--the woman who's out to make a jerk out of you.)
But mostly, I find dating and shopping to be silly beyond a certain point. You get to choose her, granted, but once you have her it should be seen like your dad, you mom, your brother or sister--family, that stays your family whether you like it every single day or not.
On the other hand, Paul advised some people to get spouses because there is so much immorality. Which tells me that if getting seduced is a higher risk than usual (like it was to his audience) getting married is a remedy. You figure out what that means. ::reading::
Amen to that! ::clappingoverhead::
: Cally Wed May 20, 2009 - 21:07:46
I see "physical attraction" more in mannerisms.
Overall, though, it was one thing I learned to see God's way. "Beautiful" is described by Peter (in the feminine sense) as "quiet and gentle spirit," and of COURSE, "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (and this is in the context of looking for the right spouse, Proverbs).
Women who are unnattractive to me are "loud and defiant." (Proverbs--the woman who's out to make a jerk out of you.)
But mostly, I find dating and shopping to be silly beyond a certain point. You get to choose her, granted, but once you have her it should be seen like your dad, you mom, your brother or sister--family, that stays your family whether you like it every single day or not.
On the other hand, Paul advised some people to get spouses because there is so much immorality. Which tells me that if getting seduced is a higher risk than usual (like it was to his audience) getting married is a remedy. You figure out what that means. ::reading::
: Fem2009 Wed May 20, 2009 - 18:02:22
: kristinaf Sat Apr 25, 2009 - 15:25:58
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:25:18
Would I be going to far to say that there has to be a physical attraction for a relationship to work?
People tell me to look at someones heart, not how they look. It baffles me that people don't see the need for there to be physical attraction.
God already has someone in mind for most of us, someone he matched perfectly to us. I would think physical attraction would be apart of that process.
The reason I say this is because alot of people tell me I am too picky. I know what I like and I am sure God does too since he designed me. But I have also been accused that it's not Christian like, and sometimes I quarrel with myself about it.
I guess my stand point on it is im not gunna settle unless she is perfect for me, and as vane as it sounds to some people, physical attraction is apart of it.
Don't sell yourself short! And don't listen to people who say physical attraction should not be part of the equation. It is, and you can't fake it. It needs to be there, please believe me.
I recently tried the internet dating scene, at a Christian website. I met a guy from my state and we talked for about a month and a half over the phone and exchanged emails. We decided to meet because we lived only about 2 hours from eachother. What I didn't count on was that my first impression of meeting him in person was one of disappointment. He was somewhat homely looking. (Not cute.) I knew instantaneously from the moment I saw him that I was not interested in him in a romantic way...at all. It was unfortunate, because I had developed an emotional connection with him, by talking with him over the phone. At least I have a good friend now, but I was still very disappointed.
My one Christian girlfriend was trying to tell me that because we had a good relationship over the phone, that I should basically give him a chance, regardless of what he looks like. I was upset at that, because he really kindof grosses me out!!!! What bad advice! At first, I thought maybe she was right, but I'm like, c'mon, your husband is a good looking guy... why should you tell me to compromise on looks. I got the same bad advice from my best friend, initially...and then over time she told me that he was a complete psycho, and she was "scared for me". Uy yi yi! I told her she did not need to be that worried. Anyways. Use caution when "internet dating".
And please, don't settle for someone you are not attracted to. You have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life. You have to be intimate with them. Don't settle! Think about it...God knows who would be attractive to us, so He has that person waiting for us. Did God give Adam an unattractive Eve, who He was like: Sorry, Dude, I know she's not the hottest, but it's the best I could do? No! He was like, there you go, Dude! I created only the best for you! I know you well! (God has that person for you, too! )
Love your Sister in Christ,
Kristina
If God has that person for you, then it is not your choice to say whether their gross or not. That man may not have been Brad Pitt but he could have turned out to be a loyal, honest loving person-isn't that worth more than looks? Aren't you aware that LOOKS FADE?
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
: kristinaf Thu May 21, 2009 - 14:08:38
: Fem2009 Wed May 20, 2009 - 18:02:22
: kristinaf Sat Apr 25, 2009 - 15:25:58
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 09:25:18
Would I be going to far to say that there has to be a physical attraction for a relationship to work?
People tell me to look at someones heart, not how they look. It baffles me that people don't see the need for there to be physical attraction.
God already has someone in mind for most of us, someone he matched perfectly to us. I would think physical attraction would be apart of that process.
The reason I say this is because alot of people tell me I am too picky. I know what I like and I am sure God does too since he designed me. But I have also been accused that it's not Christian like, and sometimes I quarrel with myself about it.
I guess my stand point on it is im not gunna settle unless she is perfect for me, and as vane as it sounds to some people, physical attraction is apart of it.
Don't sell yourself short! And don't listen to people who say physical attraction should not be part of the equation. It is, and you can't fake it. It needs to be there, please believe me.
I recently tried the internet dating scene, at a Christian website. I met a guy from my state and we talked for about a month and a half over the phone and exchanged emails. We decided to meet because we lived only about 2 hours from eachother. What I didn't count on was that my first impression of meeting him in person was one of disappointment. He was somewhat homely looking. (Not cute.) I knew instantaneously from the moment I saw him that I was not interested in him in a romantic way...at all. It was unfortunate, because I had developed an emotional connection with him, by talking with him over the phone. At least I have a good friend now, but I was still very disappointed.
My one Christian girlfriend was trying to tell me that because we had a good relationship over the phone, that I should basically give him a chance, regardless of what he looks like. I was upset at that, because he really kindof grosses me out!!!! What bad advice! At first, I thought maybe she was right, but I'm like, c'mon, your husband is a good looking guy... why should you tell me to compromise on looks. I got the same bad advice from my best friend, initially...and then over time she told me that he was a complete psycho, and she was "scared for me". Uy yi yi! I told her she did not need to be that worried. Anyways. Use caution when "internet dating".
And please, don't settle for someone you are not attracted to. You have to wake up next to this person for the rest of your life. You have to be intimate with them. Don't settle! Think about it...God knows who would be attractive to us, so He has that person waiting for us. Did God give Adam an unattractive Eve, who He was like: Sorry, Dude, I know she's not the hottest, but it's the best I could do? No! He was like, there you go, Dude! I created only the best for you! I know you well! (God has that person for you, too! )
Love your Sister in Christ,
Kristina
If God has that person for you, then it is not your choice to say whether their gross or not. That man may not have been Brad Pitt but he could have turned out to be a loyal, honest loving person-isn't that worth more than looks? Aren't you aware that LOOKS FADE?
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
I can understand not wanting to be with someone who doesn't take care of themselves (exercise, healthy diet). That would probably be a turn off for me, as well.
: Cally Wed May 20, 2009 - 21:07:46
I see "physical attraction" more in mannerisms.
Overall, though, it was one thing I learned to see God's way. "Beautiful" is described by Peter (in the feminine sense) as "quiet and gentle spirit," and of COURSE, "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (and this is in the context of looking for the right spouse, Proverbs).
Women who are unnattractive to me are "loud and defiant." (Proverbs--the woman who's out to make a jerk out of you.)
But mostly, I find dating and shopping to be silly beyond a certain point. You get to choose her, granted, but once you have her it should be seen like your dad, you mom, your brother or sister--family, that stays your family whether you like it every single day or not.
On the other hand, Paul advised some people to get spouses because there is so much immorality. Which tells me that if getting seduced is a higher risk than usual (like it was to his audience) getting married is a remedy. You figure out what that means. ::reading::
If she's going to 'fear the Lord' then she'd better be pretty defiant when it comes down to what really counts. Including your marriage.
A quiet and 'gentle' spirit is nice only when it denotes someone who is kind. Weak is not an advantage (and not trying to put words in your mouth here, but I've just seen the same sorts of phrases used many times on christian forums by guys who want a wife they can dominate.)
(And 'quiet' is only good when it's in the context you described as being the opposite of.)
Also if you look at the entire context of the passage above that you quoted regarding burning with passion. It was during a time of persecution. In the same chapter he also advises married people to 'live as though they were not'. However if in those times someone preferred to be married because of an active sex drive Paul says it's fine. The persection of the early church continued on and off up until the time of Constantine from my understanding which was for a couple of hundred years.
If you can't respect your spouse, it's going to affect your love for them. And external beauty, regardless of how good it might make us look (in terms of being married to it) can't make up for deficiencies in a persons soul. And that's what we live with.
If you can respect someone you can love them. But if you find that difficult.....
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
I don't think you're being too picky. What's wrong with not wanting to marry someone who grosses you out?
: Archibald Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 12:54:20
No worries, the mind wanders.
I do agree with chosen on personality and character can affect our attraction to someone. There are a variety of things that contribute to it.
It just boggles my mind that a Christian can say "Well I just don't like his/her personality." and thats acceptable, but as soon as a Christian says "I am not attracted to the way he/she looks.", you get questioned and acused.
I've known a couple women over the years who I did not initially find attractive, but upon conversing with them, found myself attracted to their intellect.
Conversely, I've talked to more than a few who were physical goddesses, and after 2 minutes of conversation I was looking for a reason...ANY reason...to get out of there as fast as possible.
Perhaps I just have a low threshold for chitter-chatter.
: yesult Mon May 25, 2009 - 04:06:34
: Cally Wed May 20, 2009 - 21:07:46
I see "physical attraction" more in mannerisms.
Overall, though, it was one thing I learned to see God's way. "Beautiful" is described by Peter (in the feminine sense) as "quiet and gentle spirit," and of COURSE, "a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised" (and this is in the context of looking for the right spouse, Proverbs).
Women who are unnattractive to me are "loud and defiant." (Proverbs--the woman who's out to make a jerk out of you.)
But mostly, I find dating and shopping to be silly beyond a certain point. You get to choose her, granted, but once you have her it should be seen like your dad, you mom, your brother or sister--family, that stays your family whether you like it every single day or not.
On the other hand, Paul advised some people to get spouses because there is so much immorality. Which tells me that if getting seduced is a higher risk than usual (like it was to his audience) getting married is a remedy. You figure out what that means. ::reading::
If she's going to 'fear the Lord' then she'd better be pretty defiant when it comes down to what really counts. Including your marriage.
A quiet and 'gentle' spirit is nice only when it denotes someone who is kind. Weak is not an advantage (and not trying to put words in your mouth here, but I've just seen the same sorts of phrases used many times on christian forums by guys who want a wife they can dominate.)
(And 'quiet' is only good when it's in the context you described as being the opposite of.)
Also if you look at the entire context of the passage above that you quoted regarding burning with passion. It was during a time of persecution. In the same chapter he also advises married people to 'live as though they were not'. However if in those times someone preferred to be married because of an active sex drive Paul says it's fine. The persection of the early church continued on and off up until the time of Constantine from my understanding which was for a couple of hundred years.
If you can't respect your spouse, it's going to affect your love for them. And external beauty, regardless of how good it might make us look (in terms of being married to it) can't make up for deficiencies in a persons soul. And that's what we live with.
If you can respect someone you can love them. But if you find that difficult.....
rofl
I have some great news for you: Women are fearfully and wonderfully made! Good women that I have known have been the most amazing blessings (in the ways I see described in the Bible) being soothing, relaxing to be around, and empowering, and have amazing power to cause all the difference in the world. I count myself fortunate to know what it's like to feel "respected." The kind that would listen to me talk and reply with a valued (to me) insight, and we would both consider ourselves mutually benefited. What's more, I drove them crazy with whatever modern garbage is left in me about "are you SURE you want to do this?" They really wanted me to give direction. It works, it makes incredible sense, and it's extremely efficient. And (on the subject), feminine mannerisms I consider extremely beautiful (the good ones, not the evil ones). Right now I'm talking about good, close relations with women (not girlfriends) and times that we worked together (even in the spirit).
Also, sometimes "quiet and gentle" women acknowledge that they are rather deviant from today's trends (
"defiant")--and that in acknowledgment of God! And I
"respect" them for that, or anyone else who acts in faith and out of consciousness for God. Some of the quietest/gentlest, submissive women I've known have had the strongest wills, contrary to our cultural expectations, while louder ones were often much less stable. Honestly, I attribute that to overwork--every working woman I know (and I know a lot) have suffered "wear and tear" sorts of pains (yes, some people might get after me for "anecdotal evidence," but that's my personal observation).
In some ways men and women are "human," for sure. But overlooking the harmonius male/female design of God is a TERRIBLE tragedy.
I really let myself go a little this time. ::noworries:: But as long as people keep on busting out the torches and pitchforks I may as well have a little fun. ::clappingoverhead::
What pitchforks? Do tell.
My husband always told me he thought I was "beautiful"............long story short.
He told me I would make a good wife for someone but not for him because he did not want a Christian wife..........he wanted someone to drink and party with him and that was not me.
I rededicated my life to the Lord several years after we were married and it all went down hill from there..............EXCEPT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD..........IT IS THRIVING !!!!!
He has the "right" one for me somewhere !!!
Our divorce will be final next month.
: yesult Mon May 25, 2009 - 04:10:47
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
I don't think you're being too picky. What's wrong with not wanting to marry someone who grosses you out?
It's vain. People aren't gonna ever be 100% what you dream about. They change, life throws curve balls at you. We all have our down & out moments where we need the support and devotion of loved ones. If you know what babies are like, then you'd understand that you're gonna get grossed out once in a while by people you claim to love. What happens when your guy decides you gross him out? Especially when you're older we go right back to that helpless stage. Would it be wrong for him to walk out on you? You can have a true caring heart or you can let little things get to you. It is your choice, after all.
: BornAgain Fri May 29, 2009 - 08:45:29
My husband always told me he thought I was "beautiful"............long story short.
He told me I would make a good wife for someone but not for him because he did not want a Christian wife..........he wanted someone to drink and party with him and that was not me.
I rededicated my life to the Lord several years after we were married and it all went down hill from there..............EXCEPT MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD..........IT IS THRIVING !!!!!
He has the "right" one for me somewhere !!!
Our divorce will be final next month.
Best Wishes to you!
In a way, I am in the same boat as you were. Except he wants me to be super slutty/sexy looking. It started innocently with requests for heels instead of flip-flops, hair down instead of up, why don't you ever wear make-up for ME? Then the requests became larger. I was blinded at first. Now I am aware that is just not who I want to be. It took a while to catch on. Nevertheless, God loves me unconditionally and when HE comes first I am at my happiest!
: sopranette Wed Apr 15, 2009 - 11:37:32
David was peeping where he wasn't supposed to be peeping.
love,
sopranette
Yep... "At a time
when men went to war, David stayed home"... If David had been where he belonged... ::swordfight:: He would not have seen Bathsheba to begin with.
: Fem2009 Fri May 29, 2009 - 23:24:01
: yesult Mon May 25, 2009 - 04:10:47
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
I don't think you're being too picky. What's wrong with not wanting to marry someone who grosses you out?
It's vain. People aren't gonna ever be 100% what you dream about. They change, life throws curve balls at you. We all have our down & out moments where we need the support and devotion of loved ones. If you know what babies are like, then you'd understand that you're gonna get grossed out once in a while by people you claim to love. What happens when your guy decides you gross him out? Especially when you're older we go right back to that helpless stage. Would it be wrong for him to walk out on you? You can have a true caring heart or you can let little things get to you. It is your choice, after all.
But that's basically saying 'either/or'. I (and other people on this thread) are saying that you can have both.
Someone who you find physically attractive as well as someone who has good character.
: yesult Sat May 30, 2009 - 03:52:18
: Fem2009 Fri May 29, 2009 - 23:24:01
: yesult Mon May 25, 2009 - 04:10:47
Maybe I am too picky, but I did "try" to like him, because I liked his personality over the phone. In person, he was slightly repulsive and overweight. I am probably being picky, but I feel that I am allowed to be picky, as I will have to sleep with the person that I marry, and don't want to be "repulsed" by this person, I want to enjoy that intimate relationship.
I will agree that it is very important to find someone loyal, loving and honest, but I also feel that the person that God has for me will also be someone that I am not grossed out by. I did not say he has to be "Brad Pitt". I do think he has to be "somewhat good looking". Not perfect, but at the least not someone I am slightly repulsed by. I don't think God would want me to settle for someone and end up unhappily married.
I don't think you're being too picky. What's wrong with not wanting to marry someone who grosses you out?
It's vain. People aren't gonna ever be 100% what you dream about. They change, life throws curve balls at you. We all have our down & out moments where we need the support and devotion of loved ones. If you know what babies are like, then you'd understand that you're gonna get grossed out once in a while by people you claim to love. What happens when your guy decides you gross him out? Especially when you're older we go right back to that helpless stage. Would it be wrong for him to walk out on you? You can have a true caring heart or you can let little things get to you. It is your choice, after all.
But that's basically saying 'either/or'. I (and other people on this thread) are saying that you can have both.
Someone who you find physically attractive as well as someone who has good character.
Listen, don't flip flop with ME. This is what I was responding to. NOT what you just typed:
"I don't think you're being too picky. What's wrong with not wanting to marry someone who grosses you out? "
Don't flip flop with YOU. Didn't realise I had. And not quite sure what you're trying to accuse me of either.
I was agreeing with the post YOU quoted and you were disagreeing with both us.
Where is the mis-understanding?
And if you want to answer a specific person and not several quotes at once (that agree) then don't post the added quotes.
: yesult Fri May 29, 2009 - 04:25:17
What pitchforks? Do tell.
Oh, I should never be afraid of anyone who could kill the body, but after that, do no more, should I? ::smile:: I fear God much more.
: yesult Sun May 31, 2009 - 03:02:35
Don't flip flop with YOU. Didn't realise I had. And not quite sure what you're trying to accuse me of either.
I was agreeing with the post YOU quoted and you were disagreeing with both us.
Where is the mis-understanding?
And if you want to answer a specific person and not several quotes at once (that agree) then don't post the added quotes.
Don't tell me how to post. Your "what's wrong with not being grossed out by someone?" was directly above my response: IT IS VAIN. So, don't act confused.
: Fem2009 Mon Jun 01, 2009 - 08:06:07
Don't tell me how to post. Your "what's wrong with not being grossed out by someone?" was directly above my response: IT IS VAIN. So, don't act confused.
If you cannot control your emotions & speech, you will be reported to moderators. We're trying to keep things civil here. Please stop issuing others commands.
You can always ask a poster to clarify a point if need be, without resorting to attack speech. And I agree with Yesult, why should I have married an unattractive person instead of my hot wife? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
: fanuvmxpx Tue Jun 02, 2009 - 19:02:16
: Fem2009 Mon Jun 01, 2009 - 08:06:07
Don't tell me how to post. Your "what's wrong with not being grossed out by someone?" was directly above my response: IT IS VAIN. So, don't act confused.
If you cannot control your emotions & speech, you will be reported to moderators. We're trying to keep things civil here. Please stop issuing others commands.
You can always ask a poster to clarify a point if need be, without resorting to attack speech. And I agree with Yesult, why should I have married an unattractive person instead of my hot wife? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Please stop issuing others commands? Like this command below??
: yesult Sun May 31, 2009 - 03:02:35
Don't flip flop with YOU. Didn't realise I had. And not quite sure what you're trying to accuse me of either.
I was agreeing with the post YOU quoted and you were disagreeing with both us.
Where is the mis-understanding?
And if you want to answer a specific person and not several quotes at once (that agree) then don't post the added quotes.
Fanuv: Please follow your own rules and deal with these matters through personal messages. Also, did I report you when you were getting explicit in the "Will I Go to Hell" thread? No, I did not, I politely corrected you.
: Fem2009 Mon Jun 01, 2009 - 08:06:07
: yesult Sun May 31, 2009 - 03:02:35
Don't flip flop with YOU. Didn't realise I had. And not quite sure what you're trying to accuse me of either.
I was agreeing with the post YOU quoted and you were disagreeing with both us.
Where is the mis-understanding?
And if you want to answer a specific person and not several quotes at once (that agree) then don't post the added quotes.
Don't tell me how to post. Your "what's wrong with not being grossed out by someone?" was directly above my response: IT IS VAIN. So, don't act confused.
Excuse me. Who's telling who how to post. And you're the one confused here. You answered both my post and somebody elses post. You listed them together. So I answered you.
Then you started getting agro.
I answered by pointing out your error and you're still attacking me.
Is the attack because I disagree with you? Or are you still confused?
: Fem2009 Tue Jun 02, 2009 - 19:57:34
: fanuvmxpx Tue Jun 02, 2009 - 19:02:16
: Fem2009 Mon Jun 01, 2009 - 08:06:07
Don't tell me how to post. Your "what's wrong with not being grossed out by someone?" was directly above my response: IT IS VAIN. So, don't act confused.
If you cannot control your emotions & speech, you will be reported to moderators. We're trying to keep things civil here. Please stop issuing others commands.
You can always ask a poster to clarify a point if need be, without resorting to attack speech. And I agree with Yesult, why should I have married an unattractive person instead of my hot wife? Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
Please stop issuing others commands? Like this command below??
: yesult Sun May 31, 2009 - 03:02:35
Don't flip flop with YOU. Didn't realise I had. And not quite sure what you're trying to accuse me of either.
I was agreeing with the post YOU quoted and you were disagreeing with both us.
Where is the mis-understanding?
And if you want to answer a specific person and not several quotes at once (that agree) then don't post the added quotes.
He was explaining how to use the quoting feature on the forums. I don't see any commands, only a friendly explanation/reminder to be careful of who you quote.
: Fem2009 Tue Jun 02, 2009 - 20:21:59
Fanuv: Please follow your own rules and deal with these matters through personal messages. Also, did I report you when you were getting explicit in the "Will I Go to Hell" thread? No, I did not, I politely corrected you.
No thank you, I don't follow commands from humans well. But I always defend my brethren when they are misinterpreted.
Regarding the explicit speech in the other thread, I didn't need correction. Your emotional response to a word in the English language (with few synonyms) was immature to the point being made in the thread.
And as you have referred to my brother yesult as satan, simply because you have poor reading comprehension, you will now be reported as a disturber of peace.
Please be civil in your future responses.
: fanuvmxpx Wed Jun 03, 2009 - 14:10:14
: Fem2009 Tue Jun 02, 2009 - 20:21:59
Fanuv: Please follow your own rules and deal with these matters through personal messages. Also, did I report you when you were getting explicit in the "Will I Go to Hell" thread? No, I did not, I politely corrected you.
No thank you, I don't follow commands from humans well. But I always defend my brethren when they are misinterpreted.
Regarding the explicit speech in the other thread, I didn't need correction. Your emotional response to a word in the English language (with few synonyms) was immature to the point being made in the thread.
And as you have referred to my brother yesult as satan, simply because you have poor reading comprehension, you will now be reported as a disturber of peace.
Please be civil in your future responses.
And as you have referred to my brother yesult as satan, simply because you have poor reading comprehension, you will now be reported as a disturber of peace.
All I have to say to you and your display of anger is:
I did not call ANYONE satan. Retract your statement, if you have any respect for God's law.
Please be civil in MY future responses?
simply because you have poor reading comprehension
That is FAR from civil.
To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.
Isaiah (ch. VIII, v. 20)
Hypocrisy: is the act of being less critical of oneself than of others. A well-known example is the smoker criticising someone else for smoking (except in this case that someone else is not guilty of what they are being accused of).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypocrisy
: Fem2009 Thu Jun 04, 2009 - 12:01:04
All I have to say to you and your display of anger is:
1. I did not call ANYONE satan. Retract your statement, if you have any respect for God's law.
2. You need Jesus
I don't get emotional in conversations, I am an engineer. I am always level headed on this board and in my responses. You have now said that I am not a Christian, and as such I will ask the moderators to remove you from the board.
: Fem2009 Thu Jun 04, 2009 - 12:06:28
Please be civil in MY future responses?
simply because you have poor reading comprehension
That is FAR from civil.
What was uncivil about my statement? You misunderstood one of our Christian brothers here and were attacking him openly.
The reason you attacked him is because you did not comprehend what he typed on the forum (poor reading comprehension). This is not to say anything negative about you as a person, merely that you did not understand what yesult was saying, and responded as if he said something negative towards you.
This thread needs a cool down.
: Arkstfan Thu Jun 04, 2009 - 13:00:42
This thread needs a cool down.
I quite agree - if a civil tone and reasoned discussion cannot take place, it may be time to lock this one up. Let's give it a little while to see if folks can get their keyboards back under control.