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Christian Interests => Christian Singles Forum => : kevinlude Tue May 11, 2010 - 14:51:25

: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: kevinlude Tue May 11, 2010 - 14:51:25
First of all, good thing is my girlfriend and I are Christians at college. She's been a Christian since she was very little and I came to know Jesus the beginning of this year.

Recently, we've been cuddling a lot at her place and we've been touching a lot. We got to a point where we were both turned on. Kissing and touching that's all we did. That night I was very concerned about what we did. I came to realise that it's definitely not something God wanted us to do. I talked to my Bible study leaders and a few friends. I apologized to her yesterday and told her we should keep this a God-centered relationship. I said I promised her to respect her body the beginning and I've drifted away from it and I want to get back to it.

She's okay with it but she says she doesn't see a problem with me feeling her breasts and bottom. I know it's not okay to touch her like that, but what are the ways to let her know? Biblically?

And also I suggested to her that we should do a short Bible study every Saturday night and she was okay with that I'm kind of excited about that because it'll help to keep us on track to a healthy Christian relationship.
: Re: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: chosenone Tue May 11, 2010 - 15:26:07
My husband wouldnt do anything like that before we married, and while I wasnt quite as strict as him, I respected highly him for his strong morals. It doesnt matter if she feels the same way, if she loves you, she will respect what you ask. Anything that is making it hard for you to stop going further isnt a good idea at all, maybe tell her that?
: Re: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: comfy Tue May 11, 2010 - 17:31:26
Well, I needed to read that, because there was someone I was getting into touching, a little. And I've found I'm doing better by staying with prayer, and sharing with various other Christians and see how she and I do while we are mixing with our different people in our church. The loving, for me, is better now with opening up to loving everyone.

: Re: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: janine Tue May 11, 2010 - 19:55:19
It's a great idea to have a regular Bible study with a girlfriend/boyfriend.

Just make sure it's on opposite sides of the table. :D
: Re: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: JohnDB Tue May 11, 2010 - 20:05:00
Here is a practical rule to follow...

No Kissing unless standing up...

no sitting down to kiss whatsoever.

and definitely no laying down and snuggling.

Then you will be sure to remain pure.

And where I am sure that where both of you got "turned on" by the "heavy petting" the other night...the two of you are more better off than most that I know of. K?

You two are in your twenties and have remained pure...I know of 12 and 13 year olds who haven't.

by the time they reach college age they have already participated in orgies.

But if you are intending to give God your sex life...then be serious about it and do not get into compromising situations...run from them...in fact quit dating all together. Be celebrant...
: Re: Getting back to a healthy Christian relationship...
: IamStefanie Tue May 11, 2010 - 22:10:36
Hello,
I would like to first start off by saying it's awesome that Christ is in your heart so much that you know when you have gone too far.
I think it's a good idea to set up boundaries at this point. And like someone else said, if your girl loves you, she will understand. She may not like it all the time b/c the cuddling and etc feels good but you don't want to sin. And when the two of you get married, then you'll have plenty of time and opportunities for lots of cuddling, and more!

Stay strong in the Lord!

Stefanie