What is the easiest way to give my not fully christian wife SPACE. By not fully i mean she know the Lord, yet is not to familiar with scripture or christian living, especially in the area of how to be a christian wife?
How do you define "being a Christian wife"? Do you keep complaining to her about her behavior?
Seemly as the bible dictates; There are several verses in Ephesians, the fifth chapter that you should read, beginning with verse 22. Let me read only three of these for you. Verse 22, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord". Then verse 24, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything". Then verse 33, "nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband". Then in I Peter 3:1, "Like wise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands". "To love their husbands" is a command. Too often this is equated by men to believe it is only a sexual relationship and in the mind of some women, that is all they think they are good for. To love your husband means that you are a partner with him, working together toward a common goal. Then you can be appreciative of his actions, efforts and work in supporting the family. You will do all that you possibly can to see that they are comfortable and happy when they come home.
: Jesusmakesfree Fri Aug 27, 2010 - 12:48:07
Seemly as the bible dictates; There are several verses in Ephesians, the fifth chapter that you should read, beginning with verse 22. Let me read only three of these for you. Verse 22, "Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord". Then verse 24, "Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything". Then verse 33, "nevertheless let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband". Then in I Peter 3:1, "Like wise you wives, be in subjection to your own husbands". "To love their husbands" is a command. Too often this is equated by men to believe it is only a sexual relationship and in the mind of some women, that is all they think they are good for. To love your husband means that you are a partner with him, working together toward a common goal. Then you can be appreciative of his actions, efforts and work in supporting the family. You will do all that you possibly can to see that they are comfortable and happy when they come home.
Jesusmakesfree
I hope you agree that we all sin, we all fall short of God's wishes. It's also good to remember to take out the wood from your own eye before you start judging the splinter in your wife's eye.
Love the wife you have, not the wife you wish you had. Your post seem very "legalistic" to me. Like you have a checklist with all the things the pefect Christian wife should do and you start judging your wife against that list. This is the totally wrong way to go in a marriage.
Love your wife, cherish her and gently ask her what she thinks you can
both do to improve your relationship. The biggest commandment is about love...but
you need to earn that love
Thank You sooo much for Your advice it is very helpful. My main concern is HOW to ask her what she thinks what we both can do to improve our relationship without sounding like im trying to control her or Our marriage. Words fail me. i have a very sensitive spirit and her's is not as sensitive at least WE both have agreed on this. WE have also agreed that i am a more humble christian that her, as contrasting as that may sound coming from me. HOW does a person laid down their views or just share their views on a certain topic without sounding controlling
Could you go on a christisn marriage course, or read some good books on marriage together? Also you say your wife isnt fully a Christian then say she believes. She either is or she isnt a believer.
Also pray for her and your marriage but dont give her a list of things that she should be doing, that will put her off entirely. Remember that you are both imperfect human beings, and will have weakness and will never be the perfect husband or wife.Part of marriage is accept our spouse as they are.
: Jesusmakesfree Fri Aug 27, 2010 - 13:44:50
Thank You sooo much for Your advice it is very helpful. My main concern is HOW to ask her what she thinks what we both can do to improve our relationship without sounding like im trying to control her or Our marriage. Words fail me. i have a very sensitive spirit and her's is not as sensitive at least WE both have agreed on this. WE have also agreed that i am a more humble christian that her, as contrasting as that may sound coming from me. HOW does a person laid down their views or just share their views on a certain topic without sounding controlling
OK let me give a simple example (it might be off base). Let's say you come home and she totally ignores you and keeps watching TV. You can gently say "Hey honey, I have some cool news to tell you, and I'd love to know how was your day". That could go much better than "I can't believe you're watching TV again!!"
or if she spends too much money on clothing you can say "Honey, we only have $3000 we can spend every month, outside the mortgage - if you keep spending $1000 on clothing, we would need to cut something else, any suggestions?" You can include her in the decision making, but still set some parameters