I was raised in a christian home by parents with godly principles and yet from the age of `13 i have been a deviant. from the first time i saw my first porn mag i was hooked. i have been able to go long spans since then without needing it, but it always comes back! I am a father now, a beautiful boy and girl. and still with all my responsability i still look at internet porno. I felt as if it was so deep in my veins i could never remove it.tonight my wife found my last binge on the internet history, during my binge i went to adult freind finder, the moment the page loaded i had a check in my heart and i closed it without going further. My poor wife is destroyed, she wants me to leave for awhile. I came to the end of my rope tonight. i and i asked my heavenly father to rip this evil from me once and for all! I layed my evilness at the foot of the cross. I hope this is not hereditary, i want better for my son.
Well having been there done that, I have found that the Lord seldom "rips evil out of our hearts" he usually lets it die a slow and agonizing death. Why? Ya got me, but that has been my experience. It may be different for you however. I once read a book that said God wants us to rely on his power which is made perfect through our weakness to eradicate sin in our lives, rather than Him stepping in and removing the temptation. Why? Again ya got me. Can anyone make any sense of this?
Ben
Brother Ben ...
Perhaps ... just as with the refining of precious metals ... it is only through the refining fire of purification that the waste and slag is burned off ...
GOD uses "trials", "strife", and our personal "struggles" to refine us ... to remake us ... from the wretched mess that we are ... into something ... someone ... that HE can use ... to witness to others ... so that we are tempered by our own "refining" ... measured and blessed with compassion and grace, wisdom and knowledge of what the "fires of life" can bring about ... it has been my own experience that, it wasn't until I had exhausted all of my own "methods" ... and gone through the "refining process" ... that I was ready to be what GOD knew all along I could be ...
Just a thought ...
Ray in Florida
::prayinghard::
I am in agreement with Ben and Ray in Florida,
Maybe this will help.
My son and i watched a movie about time travel. He said "wouldn't it be cool if you could go back in time?". I got to thinking about if God would allow time travel.
I'm thinking He won't. I believe God is interested in maturing us. He uses pain to break, crush and mould us. He is interested in the finished product. He allows us to roast and simmer in our own choices in order to change our corrupted hearts to where we have no taste for gratifying ourselves with sexual sin.
If we were able to "go back", we would know that we really wouldn't have to change and our deviant minds would continue down the path until we destroyed our marriages and families, then we would hit the "reset button", promise God that we would do it right this time, but we wouldn't. When i was into porn, when the urge got strong enough i was able to justify my actions. There was no change until God allowed me to be put over a barrell. Then He had my attention.
I can tell you that if you don't change, you will destroy your life, your marriage(multiple marriages) and your children's lives. It will follow you until you realize that there is no reset button and that God is very serious about getting this sin out of your life. The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. God is our dad and He will get the belt out if He needs to ::cryingtears::
I had a problem with this very thing, but by the grace of God, He has cured me! The first step I took was finding out the truth about porn. I have a daughter, so I had to ask myself if I would like it if she took her clothes off for money. The obvious answer is, NO. So then, why is it ok for other women to do it? Here is a web site that really opened my eyes over a year ago. Glory be to God!