I was in a 3 year relationship and found God when I was in this relationship. We were never perfect, we still had sex and went out, but he loved the lord dearly. He did go behind my back twice to talk to other girls and after that, I could never trust him. I became bitter. We broke up like 10 times, we tried a few times to go the Christian path, but he always had this feeling like he shouldn't be with me. He said God told him to concentrate on him and all would work it's self out with me. He never listened. Well I started going to college and I became very irritable and gained a lot of weight and became unhappy with myself. I lost track of God. We began smoking pot all the time and just arguing all the time. We ended it a week before Christmas, but decided to still spend Christmas with each other. That week we still acted like a couple and everything, so when I asked him if we were going to spend New Years together too, it shocked me he said no and that he was going to go out of state to see his friend. I then became upset and he realized it hurt me, and promised to spend it with me. Long story short, he still decided to go to TN and I freaked out and the fight was physical, we had never had a physical fight. It consisted of me hitting. I was so angry. I later sent him an email apologizing. One night when I was with a friend, I got high and started to panic and realize that this was not for anymore. I needed to make a change. I sat down and begged and prayed for the first time in awhile and I heard God say that he was there. I had never had a close relationship with God and this startled me. Things began to get clear for me and it's like he told me that he was here and that if I followed the Christian path and served him fully, me and my ex would be together again. A day later, I saw him at his work and we talked and both agreed we needed to concentrate on making our lives better and that we would both be there for each other if we needed it. I kissed him and told him that was his New Years kiss and to let anyone steal it, he broke down and told me how beautiful that was! I told him I would see him when I was ready and when the broken part wasn't there anymore.
I have come to realize I really do not like me or my life or the people I have surrounded myself with. I am on a mission to really commit my life to God, no matter who I end up with, because I know that if my ex isn't the one, I will find the one for me. I have accepted this and I am ready for a fight. I know it will be that way. I have taken up exercising and dieting, talking to old church friends and learning how to crochet in my spare time. I am just so scared that my ex will be taken away from me completely. He is battling drug abuse with pot. I begged him to please stop and he said he would. The people he is spending New Years with do drugs too. One of his friends is a girl who he loves dearly and I am scared with what will happen with them also. I am finding it hard to sleep, but I feel much better. I know this is going to be the hardest month for me.
Has anyone ever been in a broken relationship and left it and then it was rekindled later by God?
Please be in prayer for me and if anyone has any thought, please tell me. Thank you and God Bless!
Ok.
Boundaries & choices are the first words that come to mind.
Then:
Your story is a prime example of why we need to be careful about who we give our hearts and bodies to.
You need to run far far away from this guy & become an independent lady again; full of self respect and confidence.
You are kinda running short on those things at the present.
: JohnDB Sat Dec 31, 2011 - 09:21:55
Ok.
Boundaries & choices are the first words that come to mind.
Then:
Your story is a prime example of why we need to be careful about who we give our hearts and bodies to.
You need to run far far away from this guy & become an independent lady again; full of self respect and confidence.
You are kinda running short on those things at the present.
I definitely agree with you. The one thing that needs to be kept in mind, which I forgot to state, is that I do go to the same church as him and that church is my home. I have friends and other people there I consider family! I do not think I will be going there for awhile, to help to situation, instead I am going to be listening to other preachers that I love and studying the bible. I have not done that yet and I have actually agree with a group to participate in a 365 days of the bible. I am really excited about that! I do plan to keep myself busy and such and to try not to think about him, I do know, for some reason, that God will tell me to talk to him. I don't know why I have this thought, but we will see each other again and there will be some kind relationship and it will grow, I don't know if it will be friendly or a romantic one. We have always been attracted to each other and when we get along, we get along AMAZINGLY!!! It's just I know I am not in the right state of mind to decide what I want from him and the same goes for him. That is why we are keeping a distant. I do not a relationship and nor does he. We are both unhappy about where we are in life, we both know we could be doing so much better. I know I am happy about college, I am studying Humanities with a specialization in English and Foreign Language! I want to be able to teach people English in Foreign Countries. I also realize I can use the languages I have learned and go on missions trips and help out. I am also a photographer and I am thinking about name my photography business something else. I want to be able to use my knowledge of Languages and Photography to do Gods work. I know I am suppose to do photography, because when I was at church one morning, my pastor was talking about everyone's gift they have that has been given to them by God to do his work. At the time, I was confused what it was and realized that day that it was my love of photography and taking pictures, because my pastor started naming various gifts and he blurted out photography, which was not n sync with all the other gifts he was speaking of. I knew God was telling me that was what I was suppose to be doing!
I am definitely not confused about things, I am just wondering what God has in store for me and my ex. I know deep down that this is not the end of us, no matter what it is. We have been way to close to just cut the rope and that be it!
With all do respect to JohnDB (I don't say that lightly because he has helped me in the past) maybe you don't need to completely abandon this relationship. If the guy cheats then end it but it sounds to me like he is trying to figure himself out and your relationship out as well. I agree seek God first but let's not completely overlook the importance of male-female relationships. The desire to have a relationship with a person of the opposite sex was put there by God. It is not bad. It is inherently good but like all good things it can be misused and become more of a burden than a blessing.
Hi Paula. Your situation sounds familiar to a relationship I was once in. And like you, I was scared that if I broke up with him, we would be over. But I needed Jesus more than I needed the confusion that was coming with the relationship with my ex. And I will admit that even after coming to meet Christ, me and the ex did try again. But by then, my heart was changed. Things that I turned a blind eye to, I couldn't do it anymore. Long story short, a little over a year ago, we cut ties. I had to apologize to him for my mistakes and move on. I needed God. I tasted just a bit of the Lord, and I knew a unhealthy ungodly relationship was not in His will. I think about the ex a lot, well, I used to. Always thinking we would still be together blah blah. Time and love and a bit of heart check from an old friend have allowed me to keep on God's grace. And, if we are meant by God to be together, it'll happen. But I'm not holding out for that. What I am living for are God's plans. And since I'm trusting Him, I'm also trusting Him to somehow meet me uP with my godly husband (smile). Believe me, it took a lot just to get HERE. If I can offer any encouragement, it would be this: Love is many things. It is not unsure. And trusting a God you cAnt see is not easy; but keep faith from what you have already experienced, and you'll get to experience so much more within yourself and around you. And if u really love this man, pray for his well being and salvation. Trust God with your heart and your life. He has good things in store for you.
Carwhisperer,
The reason I said what I did is because a relationship leading towards commitment needs to be a positive influence in your life. One that boosts you self worth & doesn't destroy it.
One that has an environment that fosters you wanting to be better in all ways & is encouraged.
Someone that assists and compliments you in your ministry for God.
None of what she described of their relationship went to any of those places.
Going to church a few times has nothing at all to do with a life devoted to God and fulfilling his call on your entire life.
I agree with John. Bad choices have been made, bad things done and it has carried both parties further away from God.
That all needs to be repented and healed. That healing can take time. So yes there needs to be a complete break in the relationship NOW. If God wants them together HE will bring that back around after everyone is healed up and walking with Him in enough stability and maturity to not fall back into those same old sins.