1. Marrying a non-believer is not God's best for you. If she believes and grows in her faith , then marriage could be a consideration and in God's will.
2. God can forgive premarital sex.
3. Her past isn't a hindrance to God working. But your different cultures, religious differences, moral differences, etc could be more challenging to get through, especially as you have a family.
4. I'm a little worried about the "reward" issue.
God can forgive your and will lead you away from your sins I you follow Him, this does not mean you will not be perfect. Marrying an unbeliever is often a bad idea and leads to troubles. Premartial sex is a sin and because you admitted that it will be easier for you to get past it. For you to truly commit this relationship to God you need to stop having sex until you get married.
God can, and will, forgive you for premarital sex. God forgives ALL sin. You both can, and will be, forgiven, if you ask God to do so.
The question is whether or not you should marry this girl. I am not much of a "fan" of "easy-believeism". I think Dr. Phil has it right, that the most reliable predictor of a person's future behavior is his relevant past behavior. I don't think "Christian" or "Non-Christian" has anything to do with it.
I am living testimony to this. I once married a "Christian" (I mean, church-going, bible-believing, expressed faith in Christ Christian) who had multiple adulteries during our marriage. I observed that her past was in-and-out of relationship after relationship, sometimes carrying on more than one at a time, but I believed that "God can do anything" and that I needed to marry a "believer" instead of a "non-believer".
Guess what? Dr. Phil was much more right than the TV preachers, and I should have run like hell from her.
If your girl has demonstrated faithfulness to you in the past, if she has demonstrated love for you in the past, then the most likely future will be her faithfulness and her love.
I believe that expressed faith in Christ is a BEGINNING of God's work in us. All of us have a beginning, and all of us "stray", follow our own will instead of God's at various times in our lives. We all get "seduced" by other doctrines, other belief-systems, and may even adopt some tenets of those for periods.
There is NO GUARANTEE that if you marry a Christian, that she will not ever start behaving like a heathen. However,
if her past behavior is "Christian", then the most likely future behavior will be "Christian".
And, if a person's BEHAVIOR is Christian, then he/she is a TRUE Christian. If his/her behavior is of the devil, then no matter what he/she says, he/she is NOT a Christian.
We need to look at WHY premarital sex is condemned by God.
If the premarital sex is between partners other than those who marry, these things can occur in the marriage:
1) sexually transmitted disease
2) jealousy, comparisons, hurtful memories
3) misadjustment of sexual response which is hard to "un-learn"
If the premarital sex is between partners who marry:
1) demonstration that marriage means nothing to either of them. If they'll do it with you, they'll do it on you.
2) bondage. Sex causes "addiction" to the person. Sometimes, this addiction drives a marriage which would not
otherwise have taken place
3) a premarital pregnancy and a "shotgun" wedding
For you to truly commit this relationship to God you need to stop having sex until you get married.
I wholeheartedly agree. Stop having sex, and only "date" for 6 months. If the both of you still want to marry after 6 months of celibacy, and there has been no sex with others, then it's probably right that you marry each other.
God forgives everything.
If you are writing on this, it's good that you still have some sense to ask for help. Just like the Prodigal Son, you are astray.
Why? Maybe you were wound up too tight and didn't know why. Now you love your freedom and doing whatever you want. Pleasure leads you.
Hopefully, your next stage would be to come back to God, start a new relationship.
Sex can disrupt a relationship. It becomes addictive and you don't think straight. It is advised above that you date and restrain from having sex. Good idea. That way you build your relationship and know if this person is meant for you.
Marrying a non-Christian is not advisable, but not bad, especially since you aren't really a Christian right now. Slowly work God back in your life.
Also focus on college. You don't want to mess it up. Partying seems fun, but it gets boring and then when you look back at it, you wonder what you were doing. It's all about not thinking and celebrating.