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Christian Interests => Christian Marriage Forum => : christlike77 Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 12:10:45

: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: christlike77 Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 12:10:45
I used this forum a bit a few years back and only occasionally since. However, I wanted to share my good news, since most topics on here are sadly provoked by problems.

I am getting married next Saturday (ten days!!) to my beloved fiancée. Whoopee! We are in a pretty good place at the moment, having openly shared and moved on from anything (secrets- there weren't many!) that could get in the way of a healthy marriage. We have also rediscovered God quite significantly, having been through a barren patch.

My question boils down to this: what is your advice for me as we move in together into a new house in a new city (with new jobs) after the wedding, beyond the obvious (trust and obey God, respect and love each other, find godly friends etc.)?? What things did you do or wish you had done during your manic first few weeks living together as a married couple?

Oh and another little question on the end - any unique ideas for a show of love (non-sexual) on the honeymoon?
: Re: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: MeMyself Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 12:22:57
: christlike77  Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 12:10:45
I used this forum a bit a few years back and only occasionally since. However, I wanted to share my good news, since most topics on here are sadly provoked by problems.

I am getting married next Saturday (ten days!!) to my beloved fiancée. Whoopee! We are in a pretty good place at the moment, having openly shared and moved on from anything (secrets- there weren't many!) that could get in the way of a healthy marriage. We have also rediscovered God quite significantly, having been through a barren patch.

My question boils down to this: what is your advice for me as we move in together into a new house in a new city (with new jobs) after the wedding, beyond the obvious (trust and obey God, respect and love each other, find godly friends etc.)?? What things did you do or wish you had done during your manic first few weeks living together as a married couple?

Oh and another little question on the end - any unique ideas for a show of love (non-sexual) on the honeymoon?

What I wished I had done MUCH sooner, was not allow either of us to be emotionally blackmailed by our mothers.  Its time to truly leave them, concentrate on building YOUR relationship together and put the mommy's desires to "mommy" you away. Make it clear that advice is only appreciated when asked for first, don't allow them to talk down about your spouse, don't allow your life to be lead by guilt, manipulation or fear...

my dh and I struggled so very  badly with feeling like we dishonored our parents if we told them no.  Our lives were not our own when extended family was involved.  Sucks the joy out of a relationship, let me tell you!

Good luck and God bless!
: Re: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: chosenone Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 13:46:16
I agree with memyself, and also dont expect it all to be a bed of roses. After the big build up to the wedding and honeymoon, many women especially can feel quite low after wards, as if they have nothing to focus on, but as you are moving to a new home in a new area with new jobs, you will have quite a bit to think about.

The first 2 years can be pretty hard as both are adjusting to living with each other and getting used to each others habits and wishes and ways of living.
One priority in the new area will be to find a good local church to be part of.
: Re: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: Carey Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 19:30:02
I think for many those first few weeks are so busy and infatuating and loving that it is near impossible to do it wrong.  Remember those moments, imprint them on your mind, and in the future when your spouse aggravates and annoys, you can refer back to them and smile.

: Re: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: Mere Nick Wed Aug 13, 2014 - 21:43:36
What the others said.  Our first year was the toughest.  It was still great, though. 
: Re: Wedding in just over a week! Advice...
: SarahMckay Sun Aug 17, 2014 - 21:38:26
You said yes for a reason, always remember that! Congratulations :)