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Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

Are you married?

About to be.

If you both enjoy it, by all means, indulge.  After you are married.

It is my belief that any mutually consented activity between husband and wife is acceptable.

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 18:26:28
Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

I believe your phrase "borrowing from the world" is revealing and accurate. I've never seen anything in scripture directly pointing to this subject. I would say what a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God. At the same time, I can't see God giving permission to do so. It would be easy for some to see it as perversion.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 18:26:28
Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.   ::eatingpopcorn:

We had a guest speaker a few years ago that did a series of sermons on the sexual symbolism in the Song of Solomon, including oral sex symbolism.

Jaime said:
"We had a guest speaker a few years ago that did a series of sermons on the sexual symbolism in the Song of Solomon, including oral sex symbolism."

Was the speaker ever invited back?

Thank you all for both the deep and funny responses.

The speaker was well received. i wish I could remember his name. He had written a book on the subject.

Charlie24,
                 I think if my parents found out that marrieds did this in church and it was condoned, they would run out from that church traumatized.

I also apologize to everyone for my absence. I've had no time and after I'm married, I may still have no time. You may hear from me from time to time, but I think my strong presence days are over.

e.r.m. said--

>>>I think if my parents found out that marrieds did this in church and it was condoned, they would run out from that church traumatized.<<

I think a lot of people would be traumatized. Oral sex should definitely not be done in church, but should only be done privately at home.

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 21:44:06I also apologize to everyone for my absence. I've had no time and after I'm married, I may still have no time. You may hear from me from time to time, but I think my strong presence days are over.

That's what married life does Edward...But, then again, you should for one years spend as much as time you can with your wife and CHEER her up, including whatsoever you both enjoy in the marriage bed, it is undefiled before God.

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 18:26:28
Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

The Song of Solomon describes oral sex several times (in a positive light).  Usually it is on her (2.16, 5.18, 6.3) but one instance is on him. (4.11)

So AFAICT, biblically it is ok.  But whether you so enjoy or not is up to the 2 of you.  Talk about it.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

Each generation?  How many generations have there been since 900 bc?

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 18:38:16
About to be.

Hey, congratulations!  ::smile::
One of the greatest gifts each person can bring to the marriage is the trust that each is respected by the other for their open honest communication with one another.
Talk to her about this. Ask her how she feels.
Are you a virgin?
I ask because you said you find the idea of oral disgusting. Idea. I take that to mean you've not had the experience.



Also, my advice from years of marriage, never go to bed angry with one another. Resolve any disputes before you go to sleep. Harboring upset can be like a seed that germinates in the quiet and blossoms into ugly weeds that spew themselves next time an argument comes up and those past acts or unresolved issues then get regurgitated because they weren't settled last time.
"Yeah? Well, what about that time when you...." Like that. It's ugly and it's baggage that can pile up and crush a lot of things in a couple.

My wife and I learned this when we were dating and talked about what went wrong in our other long term relationships. We've been together for a very long time, married for a shorter period than the best friendship span of time, so we have a deep awareness of who we are as friends first. Which for us is a perfect evolution toward marriage. Best friends entering into something more intimate.

Just throwing that in there.


Per the Solomon scriptures and a pastor speaking to the oral sex contained in those, the only thing of that nature I'm aware of is a video I saw on YT featuring a presentation on the subject by now former pastor Mark Driscoll.

Fish153,
You know what I mean, lol.

Red Baker,
Thank you.

Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

DaveW,
I will look at those verses, thank you. I was advised by a brother in church to pray about that revulsion.

Just curious e.r.m. but have you ever discussed this with your wife to be? Perhaps inappropriate conversation, but I wonder how she feels about this topic.

: e.r.m.  Fri May 29, 2015 - 08:24:22
Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

As I mentioned earlier, have a discussion with your fiancée and know her honest feelings first. If you're not on the same page about sex it can be an issue later on when passions in the marriage take over.

Do you like to receive oral? Or is it simply a matter of you don't imagine ourself giving?

: Alan  Fri May 29, 2015 - 08:59:36
Just curious e.r.m. but have you ever discussed this with your wife to be? Perhaps inappropriate conversation, but I wonder how she feels about this topic.

Not inappropriate by any means.  In fact NOT talking about it would be inappropriate. 

This often elicits strong feelings and should be discussed WELL before the "I DOs"

: e.r.m.  Fri May 29, 2015 - 08:25:52
DaveW,
I will look at those verses, thank you. I was advised by a brother in church to pray about that revulsion.

Good.  Remember the passages are couched in 3000 year old metaphores.

I hope you guys went thru some rather invasive premarital counseling. Esp since you were married before.

I agree with that bro.  It may indicate some other underlying issue that you will want to get resolved.

Alan & Buster D Body Crab,
we did discuss it before, and we were both on the same page before, but she seems to be moving away from that position and seems more willing to explore such things. We'll have to discuss this again. I don't like either receiving or giving. I know in this generation, it may seem weird not to want to do that, it's almost expected to be done, but I can't help how I feel.

DaveW,
             It used to be that when people found oral sex repugnant, that was normal and expected. I don't think it's an internal issue. I just don't think the human mouth belongs down there. I overheard heard a woman at work voice the same opinion (years ago). I don't think this is abnormal. It's just some people like it and others don't.

wow the quote thingy stopped woriking again ......3

DaveW,
             It used to be that when people found oral sex repugnant, this was normal and expected. I don't think it's an internal issue. I just don't think the human mouth belongs down there. I overheard heard a woman at work voice the same opinion (years ago). I don't think this is abnormal. It's just some people like it and others don't.

No - I get that.  But not everyone from our generation felt that way. I certainly don't. 

But I would spend some time in prayer to MAKE SURE that it is just that.  And DO PLEASE talk to her.
If she really wants it and you are   EWWWW!!! YUCK!!!    it will cause problems.

For many women intercourse does not bring them to orgasm, extra means of clitoral stimulation is necessary for them by another method. That said I certainly could not deprive my wife of that satisfaction, we would need to mutually discuss this and make efforts to accommodate each other. 

DaveW and Alan,
Yes, I'm aware there was variety in the older generations also. I will spend time in prayer over the situation. I will definitely look for other ways to stimulate her clitoris. I'm hoping that we will be able to do so without oral sex, but I will still be praying about that. Thank you both.

Texas Conservative,

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.

Now that is a caricature of the theological position of some of the posters in this forum.  The accurate way of applying this form of reasoning is to forbid these activities during church meetings.

I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

: Link  Fri May 29, 2015 - 19:51:57
Texas Conservative,

If it is not specifically authorized, I would not do it.  Everyone knows that oral sex leads to instrumental use in worship and the denigrating of baptism.

Now that is a caricature of the theological position of some of the posters in this forum.  The accurate way of applying this form of reasoning is to forbid these activities during church meetings.

It was meant to be a caricature.

: e.r.m.  Fri May 29, 2015 - 08:24:22
Buster D Body Crab,
I'm not a virgin, but my ex wife and I both agreed we didn't like the idea. Its just my constitution. I can't tolerate the thought, and I can't understand how anybody else can either.

Thank you for the advice.

You have an ex wife?  What is the ICOC position on MDR?

: Link  Fri May 29, 2015 - 19:54:22
I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

I hope you don't "french kiss."  If so, you are eating bodily fluids as well.

: Link  Fri May 29, 2015 - 19:54:22
I don't see where the Bible mentions it clearly.  Some people say it is in the song of Solomon, the wife's navel being like a goblet full of mixed wine, or the woman eating from Solomon's apple tree.  I'm not completely convinced either way.

But I don't see where it is forbidden.  If a couple can do this without sinning against their conscience, and they are rightly married, I'm not going to say it's wrong.

The idea of eating bodily fluids is gross to me, but that doesn't necessarily have to occur.

Unless a dental dam is used by the woman in oral cop. , the man is going to 'eat' bodily fluids if he gives her oral. Which is to say, sans the dental dam, 'eating' bodily fluids does occur.
And it is true, if someone French kisses they're also exchanging bodily fluids, i.e. saliva.

Which is to say, sans the dental dam, 'eating' bodily fluids does occur.

That's not necessarily true.  There's a northern alternative.

But I was thinking more along the lines of a female eating live reproductive cells, which doesn't have to happen either.

: Link  Fri May 29, 2015 - 22:37:35

Which is to say, sans the dental dam, 'eating' bodily fluids does occur.

That's not necessarily true.  There's a northern alternative.

You've lost me there. "Northern alternative"?

But I was thinking more along the lines of a female eating live reproductive cells, which doesn't have to happen either.

I understood that part.

You are thinking just a little further south. 

Texas Conservative,
What is MDR?

: Link  Sat May 30, 2015 - 03:15:10
You are thinking just a little further south.

Cryptic responses don't help. We're all adult men here. Please speak plainly. The topic of this discussion focuses on the southern regions. If you're speaking of the northern region, a woman's breasts, please say so. If not please clear up the murky waters.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 08:43:48
Texas Conservative,
What is MDR?

I'll hazard my guess since he has yet to respond and say, Married Divorced Remarried = MDR ::shrug::

Thank you. I'm only guessing the ICOC sees it as damage done, unless I had file for divorce previously without the reasons of adultery or abandonment, in which case, divorce is not allowed.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 10:38:30
Thank you. I'm only guessing the ICOC sees it as damage done, unless I had file for divorce previously without the reasons of adultery or abandonment, in which case, divorce is not allowed.

I take it those two or one issue was the grounds for your divorce?

I'd hope domestic abuse would be an allowed grounds for divorce. Then again, and this is not to disrespect anyone's church and is offered as a personal opinion being I am happily married, I would not let a church dictate what I would tolerate in a bad marriage.
God would know all that transpires and being merciful he'd understand an exit strategy for the good of both parties.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 10:38:30
Thank you. I'm only guessing the ICOC sees it as damage done, unless I had file for divorce previously without the reasons of adultery or abandonment, in which case, divorce is not allowed.

Some Church of Christ (non-instrumental) churches view remarriage as not allowed after divorce until the death of the "former" spouse.  There are those even within my brotherhood that feel this way. 

Texas Conservative,
The Bible is silent on the divorcee of unBiblical reasons.

Buster D Body Crab,
My ex-wife was egregiously abusive and unbeknownst to either of us until after we were married, she is mentally ill. She would do things like yank the shower curtain while I was taking a shower and start punching me in the face, threaten to crash the car on the highway and kill us both unless I complied with her demands, and when I would grab her arms to defend myself, she would dig her nails into my skin, causing many cuts. It would take a lot to discuss the mind games and relentless bouts of criticisms. I scoured the NT for a way out of the marriage. There is none. My friend looked as well and didn't find anything. The church can't override the bible and give me a way out, since the bible doesn't. What I didn't understand is that God would have watched out for me and perhaps even rescued me if I had faith in him. I allowed my faith to suffer once I woke up to the reality of the situation.

 ::hug:: I'm sorry to read of your suffering. Thank God you came through it.
I pray your ex-wife finds healing and peace as well.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 14:32:10
Buster D Body Crab,
My ex-wife was egregiously abusive and unbeknownst to either of us until after we were married, she is mentally ill. I scoured the NT for a way out of the marriage. There is none. My friend looked as well and didn't find anything. The church can't override the bible and give me a way out, since the bible doesn't. What I didn't understand is that God would have watched out for me and perhaps even rescued me if I had faith in him. I allowed my faith to suffer once I woke up to the reality of the situation.

I will be officially divorced here in a few weeks or less.  My divorce is because of adultery and possibly her being a non-believer as her actions above and beyond the adultery would be hard for a believer to commit without remorse.

Buster D Body Crab,
Thanks. I hope so as well.

Texas Conservative,
My condolences.  This goes against the the stereotype does it's the men who cheat and leave the Lord. It goes both ways.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 14:55:32
Texas Conservative,
My condolences.  This goes against the the stereotype does it's the men who cheat and leave the Lord. It goes both ways.

I would say with feminism and today's society that this kind of behavior is becoming more common.  At least the preacher in my current congregation believes that one is bound to their spouse for life, and that remarriage is not acceptable.  Eventually, that will become a conflict in my life as I do not hold to that teaching and it will not stop me from getting married again.

I also offer my condolences for your loss. God be with you. And may he bring his light to your soon to be ex-wife.

: Texas Conservative  Sun May 31, 2015 - 14:47:16

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 14:32:10
Buster D Body Crab,
My ex-wife was egregiously abusive and unbeknownst to either of us until after we were married, she is mentally ill. I scoured the NT for a way out of the marriage. There is none. My friend looked as well and didn't find anything. The church can't override the bible and give me a way out, since the bible doesn't. What I didn't understand is that God would have watched out for me and perhaps even rescued me if I had faith in him. I allowed my faith to suffer once I woke up to the reality of the situation.

I will be officially divorced here in a few weeks or less.  My divorce is because of adultery and possibly her being a non-believer as her actions above and beyond the adultery would be hard for a believer to commit without remorse.

Texas Conservative,
Use the Bible.

Buster D Body Crab,
Wait, what do you mean my soon to be ex-wife?!

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 16:27:40
Buster D Body Crab,
Wait, what do you mean my soon to be ex-wife?!

I was speaking to Texas Conservative's post. "I will be officially divorced here in a few weeks or less.  My divorce is because of adultery and possibly her being a non-believer as her actions above and beyond the adultery would be hard for a believer to commit without remorse."

I'm sorry, I got mixed up.

: e.r.m.  Sun May 31, 2015 - 16:36:57
I'm sorry, I got mixed up.

No problem brother. Sometimes the quote boxes make it hard to pick out who's saying what.  ::smile::

Thank you.

Of course.  ::hug:: We're brothers here.

: e.r.m.  Fri May 29, 2015 - 10:45:10
DaveW and Alan,
Yes, I'm aware there was variety in the older generations also. I will spend time in prayer over the situation. I will definitely look for other ways to stimulate her clitoris. I'm hoping that we will be able to do so without oral sex, but I will still be praying about that. Thank you both.

You are quite welcome and congrats on your upcoming nuptials. 

I am so sorry to hear about your past marriage.  I do not know the position on remarriage in your branch of the CoC but I see in 1 Cor 7 that Paul allows for the dissolution of marriage in the case of abandonment.  It would seem that your former wife's behavior certainly qualifies. 1 Timothy 5:8 says that a person who does not take care of their responsibilities to those in their own home, deny the faith and are to be considered an unbeliever. 

And if she has remarried (or started a sexual relationship of any other type); she has committed adultery against you and there should be no scriptural roadblocks to remarrying.

DaveW,
I'm not going to be so hard on her. She honestly didn't have it all there. Thank you though.

Cryptic responses don't help. We're all adult men here. Please speak plainly. The topic of this discussion focuses on the southern regions. If you're speaking of the northern region, a woman's breasts, please say so. If not please clear up the murky waters.

You are sailing way too far north. 

Let's change the topic and talk about what's for dinner on the voyage.  You are probably thinking of eating clams for dinner, rather than beans.

: e.r.m.  Mon Jun 01, 2015 - 11:53:11
DaveW,
I'm not going to be so hard on her. She honestly didn't have it all there. Thank you though.

OK, That's cool.

Congrats again!

Thank you.

Deleted wrong post.

DaveW,

The Song of Solomon describes oral sex several times (in a positive light).  Usually it is on her (2.16, 5.18, 6.3) but one instance is on him. (4.11)

I Iooked them all up and from what I can tell, they would only suggest oral sex to those who already have it in mind. The lillies Are in context of the garden and lips like honeycomb could easily suggest something else. There's nothing confirming oral sex. It's all inferred.

Red Baker,

That's what married life does Edward...But, then again, you should for one years spend as much as time you can with your wife and CHEER her up, including whatsoever you both enjoy in the marriage bed, it is undefiled before God.

Hebrews 13:4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

undefiled
μίαντος,a  \{am-ee'-an-tos}
1) not defiled, unsoiled  1a) free from that by which the nature of a thing is deformed and debased, or its force and vigour impaired.
http://www.greekbible.com/l.php?a (http://www.greekbible.com/l.php?a))mi/antos_a-----nsf-_

Defiled is that by which the nature of a thing is deformed.

Nature intended sexual organs for other sexual organs. They weren't designed to go in the mouth.

That seems to me like defiling.

: e.r.m.  Fri Jul 10, 2015 - 22:08:14That seems to me like defiling.

Brother, you said it correctly: "That seems to me" ....Then, that's okay with God, and your conscience, but another good brother, does have LIBERTY to use his marriage bed as it seems good to him and his wife. God's word is totally silent on this subject, (unless you accept Dave's understanding on SoS, which I do not) so that within itself cannot be called SIN.  What is sin?  It is the transgression of GOD'S LAW, not of others view of sin based upon their conscience. 

Brother, I love and respect your conscience of sin~but that within itself will not be what I will judge right or wrong upon, but will use God's perfect law of LIBERTY to judge what is sin and what is not sin.

God's word DOES NOT give us a list of do's and dont's of "foreplay"~but has given us liberty within the marriage bed between a man and his wife.  NO MINISTER has the right to pry into the bedroom of a man and his wife, not even the angels of God....God's word has spoken, and told us that the bed IS UNDEFILED~period!

The ONLY thing that we are not permitted to do in the bed with our wife is to lay with her while she is unclean.  We have clear scriptures concerning this law.  I am sure you know them.

Red Baker

Red Baker,

Brother, you said it correctly: "That seems to me" ....Then, that's okay with God, and your conscience, but another good brother, does have LIBERTY to use his marriage bed as it seems good to him and his wife. God's word is totally silent on this subject, (unless you accept Dave's understanding on SoS, which I do not) so that within itself cannot be called SIN.  What is sin?  It is the transgression of GOD'S LAW, not of others view of sin based upon their conscience. 

Brother, I love and respect your conscience of sin~but that within itself will not be what I will judge right or wrong upon, but will use God's perfect law of LIBERTY to judge what is sin and what is not sin.

God's word DOES NOT give us a list of do's and dont's of "foreplay"~but has given us liberty within the marriage bed between a man and his wife.  NO MINISTER has the right to pry into the bedroom of a man and his wife, not even the angels of God....God's word has spoken, and told us that the bed IS UNDEFILED~period!

The ONLY thing that we are not permitted to do in the bed with our wife is to lay with her while she is unclean.  We have clear scriptures concerning this law.  I am sure you know them.

Red Baker

I agree, I do not accept DaveW's take on SS.
I'm not trying to interfere in anyone's bedroom.
But whether it's sinful or a silent matter is still being determined.

Hebrews 3:14 is the only place I found that seems to say something on the matter. It defines defiling as against nature. The genitals were not made for the mouth, nor the mouth for genitals.

: e.r.m.  Sat Jul 11, 2015 - 12:09:06I'm not trying to interfere in anyone's bedroom.

I know that you are not, and neither did I insinuated that you were~I was only making a point that no minister should pry into the bedroom of married people, which I have witness some trying to do, and have succeeded doing so.

You said:

Hebrews 3:14 is the only place I found that seems to say something on the matter. It defines defiling as against nature. The genitals were not made for the mouth, nor the mouth for genitals.

Edward, you are not reading Hebrews 13:4 correctly.  You are reading what you think it is saying, based upon your conscience toward such thing, but the writer of Hebrews is not saying that defiling is "against nature", but that the BED IS UNDEFILED, and if the bed is undefiled, and it is, then who can say what is allowable as "foreplay" and what is not?  No man can, if he does not have clear scriptures supporting him~as a matter of truth, desiring the opposite sex is far from being against nature, such as sodomy (defined as man with man, and woman with woman, per the scriptures) would be, but not adultery, which actually works in our nature, and must be mortified, so that sin does not have dominion over us as children of God.   

Let us read that scripture again:

Hebrews 13:4~"Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

Now does the writer of Hebrews defines defiling as something against nature?  No, he clearly makes a statement (a position of righteousness if you will) that the marriage bed between a man and his wife, is undefiled; he is not saying that that certain acts of foreplay is against nature and is defiling and sinful.  Many men and women have taught that if they believe something is wrong, then the god that they have created in their hearts, thinks that it is wrong, and generally close their minds to what the scriptures does say....that's how false doctrine has found its way into the professing churches of God from the very beginning.

Brother, if you and your wife thinks that it is defiling, then that is between you and God and your conscience, by which you serve God....then you have a right to that position, and must keep it between you and God, and never look at a brother who may practice otherwise.  Christian liberty must be practice by us in area's that God does not say: Do NOT do this, or that~which on this subject he does not.  Whether you practice such things, or not, does not make one more, or less godly in God's eyes and according to his word.

Brother a woman's breast was created by God for babies mouths not yours, now, whose to tell you or me, that we cannot enjoy them also? By trying to tell men that they cannot, would only be causing them to sin before God, for I am pretty sure that every man has found his way there before little junior did!

Your conscience, or mine, is not what we can judge others by, to determine if they love God or not~we live by faith, using the scriptures as our rule of righteousness to live by, not other men's likes or dislikes.

Brother, we BOTH agree that whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.  I do love your tender conscience and respect it.  But it is your conscience that you have up until now, and it is always subject to change based upon God revealing his truth to us as we grow in grace and knowledge of him and his will.  Mine has changed over the years.

A good friend of mine worded it this way, and I agree. Don't bring another into it, and nothing as obscured as BTSM, but beyond that... whatever a consenting husband and wife decides to do with each other in their own bed, it should be their decision. If one couple don't want to try a bj, it's entirely up to them and they shouldn't have to. If another choose to get more intimate that way, it's their bed and they have that choice.

Have you guys ever read Song of Solomon?

How beautiful are thy feet with shoes, O prince's daughter! the joints of thy thighs are like jewels, the work of the hands of a cunning workman. Thy navel is like a round goblet, which wanteth not liquor: thy belly is like an heap of wheat set about with lilies. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus. Thine head upon thee is like Carmel, and the hair of thine head like purple; the king is held in the galleries. How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!

You can't tell me the lover here don't intend to have fun with his wife's body. I see oral sex as another part of that, it's another means for a wife to be intimate with her husband, and vice versa.

Let me ask a question. If a husband visits a wife at work, and the wife decides to unbutton a bit to show her body, but she does it in such a way where only her husband sees and no one else, would you consider that sin against her? She did tease, but she teased her own husband.

Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

: johndoo  Mon Jul 13, 2015 - 05:48:41Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

There are certain laws under Moses that are not blinding upon NT Christians~such as the dietary laws, which based upon Acts 10 only stood until the reformation period of the apostles.  But, there are many laws/commandments under Moses that will forever stand as a perfect rule of righteousness for saints to live by~and approaching a woman that is unclean are one of them.  The dietary laws represent the Gentiles who were unclean for the Jewish people because of their wickedness, yet under the New Covenant, God has brought them into the fold of Jesus Christ, thereby, what God has cleansed, no man can call unclean....not so with a woman during her menstrual period~she is unclean during that period of time, and temperance must be used to abstain from them.  There will be times when intercourse will cause a woman to start, and God knows that, and no sin is committed, yet going in unto a woman during that time is an act of uncleanness, and God is not pleased when this occurs...it IS sin.

: johndoo  Mon Jul 13, 2015 - 05:48:41
Regarding intercourse during the menstrual period, I certainly know about these instructions in the old testament under Jewish law, but do not find them binding for new testament believers.

In Acts 15 the apostles handed down a decision from God for gentile New Covenant believers - 4 prohibitions that are binding. 

One of them, usually rendered "fornication" or "sexual immorality," is pornia in the Greek.  My own research (and later I found a few commentators who agree) says that pornia was used in the diaspora Jewish community to mean anything that violated Torah sexual prohibitions; and that would include sex during menses.

Oral sex and sex in general isn't done for its primary purpose any more. The youth of today (this is where I'm old fashioned) are obsessed with sex and oral sex; I went to college with someone who had around 16 different sexual partners; this is a monstrous amount as she wasn't 21 at the time I don't think and unmarried.
People can't wait to have sex and oral sex nowadays and I find that troubling; also people having sex and children is happing at a younger age.

There was a scientific study done that shows that arousal reduces the capacity for revulsion.

So, what you find revolting in the light of day, may not seem quite so gross behind closed doors.

Jarrod

: Charlie24  Thu May 28, 2015 - 19:50:54

: e.r.m.  Thu May 28, 2015 - 18:26:28
Is it Biblically appropriate for christian married couples to engage in oral sex or is it just sinful borrowing from the world? I find the idea totally disgusting. Thank you.

I believe your phrase "borrowing from the world" is revealing and accurate. I've never seen anything in scripture directly pointing to this subject. I would say what a married couple does behind closed doors is between them and God. At the same time, I can't see God giving permission to do so. It would be easy for some to see it as perversion.

It seems each generation that comes finds less perversion in oral sex. Whatever it is, one should pray about it before indulging.

depends on how one interpret the Songs of Solomon

but according to some, there is inferences of wife giving her husband oral and enjoy him that way......

but either way, God gave us His word so we know where the boundaries are.

if God did not say anything on the matter

and He allows intimacy between husbands and wives

I don't see problems with it.

: Wycliffes_Shillelagh  Thu Oct 29, 2015 - 16:24:32
There was a scientific study done that shows that arousal reduces the capacity for revulsion.

So, what you find revolting in the light of day, may not seem quite so gross behind closed doors.

Jarrod

Interesting.  ::pondering::

Thank you Solomon

Husband's are commanded to 'love their wives'.  A part of fulfilling that requirement is meeting her sexual needs.  It is your duty to please your wife to the best of your ability.

Scripture also states that the 'marriage bed is undefiled'.  Nothing is forbidden when it comes to your sexual acts to please a spouse out of your love for them.

: Alan  Fri May 29, 2015 - 10:36:49
For many women intercourse does not bring them to orgasm, extra means of clitoral stimulation is necessary for them by another method. That said I certainly could not deprive my wife of that satisfaction, we would need to mutually discuss this and make efforts to accommodate each other.

Before my wife and I got married (back in !970!) we both read a very helpful book on the intimate side of marriage.  In that, as a prelude to full copulation the book suggested men caress their partner's body gradually moving down to the more intimate parts. Then men were urged to spend some time gently "dipping" a finger into their partner's vagina entrance - like dipping an old style pen into an inkwell - and then transfer the (now wet) finger across to the clitoris and massage it gently for a while, then "dip" the finger back into the vagina again, to get more fluid for lubrication. Keep on repeating this several times, till one's partner is sufficiently excited and wants to proceed with full male penetration.  In the following mutual pelvic thrusting action, there is normally little contact with the clitoris (the hand gets in the way!) - so the ladies excitement may wane a bit - before both experience mutual orgasm. 


The idea of placing one's mouth down at one's partner's "privates" seems disgusting to me, and happily my wife never mentioned it - "but it takes all sorts to make a world!"

I don't want to sound "prissy" shooting off my mouth about something that my wife and I ceased being "interested in" a long time ago due to mutual physical problems (i.e. my incurable erectile dysfunction due to prostate resection problems - on strong medication after heart surgery, and my wife's affliction - a failed remedial op for a bad bowel prolapse/bleeding haemorrhoids. She has enough problems down in that lower area even if I was "potent" - I am 81 and she is 74 now - so it's been some 25 years since we last had "intimate contact"!)

I usually skip over "The Song of Songs" when doing my Bible readings - let's face it, the love of many foreign women was Solomon's downfall - led astray by them!  (There are a few other places in the Bible that I find a "strain" when I come back to them as part of my cyclic re-reading of different sections - Psalm 119 is one of them , IMO rather OTT - but maybe that's what it will be like in heaven, endless exuberant praise, and gratitude for being admitted to that place of absolute purity!  Don't forget what Jesus said about men and women in heaven - "They do not marry, but are like the angels", so sensual passion is "out" fellas!  ::frown::  My wife reads out Christian books aloud for our mutual edification - and one she read some months ago, described a young army chap's "testimony" in which he died from pneumonia - "temporally"  - and became disconnected from his body.  He described being transported to various places, in one of which people were trying to "make love" - but were frustratingly disappointed that there was no physical sensation whatever.  In another place the people were fighting each other - but again, there was no physical injury or harm done to one another!  A sobering thought if the "after-life" is like that - no physical sensation of any contact with others!

As a footnote, I'll tell you about something I saw years ago, while taking my previous little dog for walkies around the edges of a big recreation ground.  You know how we love and care for our pets - but sometimes they do things that are natural to them, but disgusting to us! (I wonder if the Lord loves us in a greater but similar way - and we often do things that disgust Him "Whose eye is too pure to look upon iniquity.")  I saw 2 unattended dogs, one obviously a male and the other a bitch, the bitch was probably "on heat" and stood with a hind leg raised to allow the male dog better access to lick her private parts - oral sex and all that!  I know we are physically part of the animal kingdom - but are supposed to be governed by a reasoning and more considerate mind, supposedly not at the mercy of "base" passions - so that's why I feel a sense of disgust at human oral sex, cunnilingus, fellatio and blow-jobs or whatever it's called! (Doesn't the Bible tell us "Those who belong to Christ have crucified the lower nature with it's passions and desires.")  I would have thought that basic hygiene principles, would have kept people from running unnecessary risks of a bad throat infection or worse.

A "Parthian Shot" after my previous post - some points to consider : -

(1) As a 15 year old apprentice/engineering student in a massive Dockyard factory - where the language was mainly one of lewd profanity - the communal toilet cubicles had walls and door paintwork "decorated" with (what as a Christian I now call lewd) doggerel verses (amusing to me at the time) and crude "sketches" of men and women engaged in various sexual practices - e.g oral sex etc, so it didn't take long to corrupt me!  A few years later after the furore over Lawrence's book "Lady Chatterley's Lover" died down, out of curiosity I got a copy, and in it came across the telling phrase "The Freemasonry of Filth" - the common "dirt" that in general, we men at times sn****r about!

(2) Later when I became a Christian, I heard of a pastor ministering to some lady for resolution of problems which she had.  The Holy Spirit gave the shocked pastor a "mental picture" of a man's erect penis in front of the woman's open mouth!

(3) I was surprised to see in a TV program about some artifacts from an early civilization (can't remember if it was Sumerian or Ancient Greece), a small figurine of a woman - but strangely different as the program presenter pointed out.  Instead of a horizontal marking to indicate the mouth, - there was a vertical one representing the labia each side of a woman's vagina!  So there's nothing new about oral sex!


I don't believe the Lord approves of, or is pleased, with such behaviour.  It is putting "self-pleasing" (or possibly "pleasuring" one's partner) before communion with Him, and may invite demonic oppression, because it is (arguably?) not in the Lord's "ordinances" for us.  OK so it's not mentioned explicitly in Scripture - but does the Holy Spirit indicate it's OK, or is there a "suspicious" silence about it? The Lord is jealous of mis-spent time/activities "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me"! It smacks to me of what early Baal worship might have included - a people paying more attention to sexual matters than was good for them. At our final judgement, imagine our horror/shame if such activities (and other wrong actions) we had indulged in during our time here, are re-played on a "giant celestial TV screen" for the redeemed to see!

I have already in an earlier post, having seen a male dog licking the genitalia of a bitch dog, commented on the separation between the behaviour of beasts and Man.  One could take that a step further : -

I understand that in some (early?) cultures the so-called "missionary posture" for copulation has not always been the norm, and that some men achieved vaginal penetration in the same way as beasts (a man's front bent over woman's back - similar to homosexual anal penetration)!  I cannot believe that this is God's good plan for us, and although the Scriptures do not explicitly mention such matters, there are clear guidelines that we ought to follow - am thinking of Paul's advice :-

"...This is the will of God, that you should be holy. You must abstain from fornication, each one must learn to master and hallow his body, not giving way to lust like the pagans who are ignorant of God..."

If one cannot "hear" the correcting/leading voice of the Holy Spirit - because one has become "dull of hearing" due to continually ignoring "the still small voice" - then one is in big trouble.  Remember the continual practice of something can breed addiction - and if that something is not "proper", we run the risk of opening a "portal" for the dark forces that seek to draw us away from the Lord and destroy our lives!