I have been married for 17 years and love my wife. I stopped believing in God about 8 years ago and when I did it really opened the door to porn, strip clubs, massage parlors and even prostitutes on 2 occasions. I told myself then that its not cheating if I dont have a relationship with them or care about them its just sex.
I have recently come back to Christ and really want to change but I keep going back to that. My wife doesnt know about it and I feel it would destroy her faith and would never forgive me. So I have chosen not to tell her.
I mostly struggle with massage parlors and since I have come back to Christ and trying to avoid these things I have had constant back leg and arm pain since I came back to Christ which I never had before and I know if I go to a massage place it causes an itch that I have to scratch and my mind will not let it go until I do.
I can go for a little while if I stay busy, but staying cause more stress and puts me back in the trap.
I cant tell anyone about this for fear it could destroy there faith and will damage my witness and the friends I had before say there is nothing wrong with it and encourage it so I try to stay away from them.
Looking for some solid Christian advise
Have you truly repented? Genuine repentance seeks to right what is wrong. It seems to me you are still covering your sin, which is a sign of false repentance.
Of course you are still tempted, you have no accountability. You need to confess to your wife, and to a godly man you can trust. Confessing your sin won't damage someone else's faith in God.
After 2 encounters with a prostitute, have you at least been tested for disease?
That was over the last 8 years Ive been tested and thank God have no Issues. I just came back to Christ in the last 3 months and my wife is just now trying to start a relationship with Christ.
I feel telling her would do nothing but make me feel better to get it off my chest and do nothing but hurt her.
I did this during a time when I didnt believe there was a God and was in a strange season in my life that I felt I had complete a bucket list and I told myself that I was going to die so I better have fun.
I just joined a new church and dont know any one I can trust with that yet
I don't know the answer. The first thing that occurs to me is to do what you enjoy with your wife. Would that make it weird?
Jarrod