My adult daughter and her boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year. He's a wonderful Christian young man and I'm very happy for her. Unfortunately, my husband (her stepfather) cannot get over the fact that he's black and has basically disowned my daughter. I have expressed to him that he's being a hypocrite because my daughter, as well as the rest of my family welcomed him with open arms even though he's of a different ethnicity, but he disagrees because as he says, "I'm not black". This is really testing our marriage. My husband thinks that by me accepting my daughter's relationship, I'm going against him. I don't know what to do. I love my husband and my daughter so much and I don't feel like I should have to pick a side.
: mom Mon Jan 04, 2016 - 17:17:09
My adult daughter and her boyfriend have been dating for a little over a year. He's a wonderful Christian young man and I'm very happy for her. Unfortunately, my husband (her stepfather) cannot get over the fact that he's black and has basically disowned my daughter. I have expressed to him that he's being a hypocrite because my daughter, as well as the rest of my family welcomed him with open arms even though he's of a different ethnicity, but he disagrees because as he says, "I'm not black". This is really testing our marriage. My husband thinks that by me accepting my daughter's relationship, I'm going against him. I don't know what to do. I love my husband and my daughter so much and I don't feel like I should have to pick a side.
You don't. He is wrong. He is in sin. He is showing favoritism, which the Bible forbids.
I think it isn't a good idea no matter which side you pick. Maybe you three can communicate more. The communication among the people is very important. Although the problem can't be solved absolutely, the contradiction will be eased.
Pray to God, and God will lead you! May God be with you.
If your husband is a Christian maybe you can find some resources/books/articles about why mixed marriages/relationships are NOT wrong. My husband was raised in a church that frowned on interracial marriage and dating. I found out about this while we were dating and I was shocked. I was really upset and told him he was wrong and needed to figure out why before we could continue our relationship. The next day he apologized to me and said he was wrong. He had started studying the subject and said the verses he had heard quoted as a child about not marrying another race were from the Old Testament and he had found some resources that explained why those are no longer relevant today. Maybe your husband was taught something similar and has never had reason to study the Bible and find out that as long as two people are Christians (equally yoked), that's what matters to God.