Hi. I've dreamed of getting married ever since I was a little girl. Also having sex (We had sex ed in first grade and I and one boy didn't think it was gross like the other kids did). I'm 25 now. I absolutely have no faith that God will provide me a spouse. Plus I know someone who was shocked it didn't happen yet because he got married at 18. The question is how do I put to sleep my desire for love and my sex drive so I can be happy and single? Thanks in advance.
: cake10 Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 13:31:25
Hi. I've dreamed of getting married ever since I was a little girl. Also having sex (We had sex ed in first grade and I and one boy didn't think it was gross like the other kids did). I'm 25 now. I absolutely have no faith that God will provide me a spouse. Plus I know someone who was shocked it didn't happen yet because he got married at 18. The question is how do I put to sleep my desire for love and my sex drive so I can be happy and single? Thanks in advance.
Where I live in the UK practically no one gets married that young, and to start worrying at the age of 25 is very premature. I know several Christian ladies who are more than 10 years older than you who would love to meet someone, you are so young yet. BTW a guy marrying at 18 is madness, no man is mature enough for marriage at that age.
I would ask you if you are being proactive? Do you have a good friendly church with young people?Do they have a singles group?if not how about you and a friend start one? Are you involved in other things at the church? Do you have hobbies? Do sports? Voluntary work? All good ways to meet people.
Do you go to any Christian events? Have you thought of trying Christian internet dating?I met my husband that way, and I know about 10 other Christian couples who did.
God won't bring someone round to your door.
I don't go to church anymore. I'm in a group with 2 guys and the rest are girls. No one dates within the group and I don't want to lose my friends if I did even if someone did like me. I have tried online dating. I don't tell anyone though because my friends are against it. I also work. Is there a way to numb my desires?
: cake10 Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 18:17:53
I don't go to church anymore. I'm in a group with 2 guys and the rest are girls. No one dates within the group and I don't want to lose my friends if I did even if someone did like me. I have tried online dating. I don't tell anyone though because my friends are against it. Guys there either don't reply or fade away after talking. Is there a way to numb my desires?
No there isn't because the desire to get married is a normal one for nearly everyone. At 25 you have no need to numb the desires anyway. How long did you try online dating? It was 2 years before I met my husband, and a lady I know was on a Christian dating site for 7 years before she met her now husband. That's what I call persistent. :: eek::
Why don't you go to church? Can you try another one that is larger? Do you do things that I suggested?Get out there and meet new people?
Why bother what your friends say? I/3 of relationships now begin online, and for Christians it's even more important as we often don't meet anyone in our own churches. It's no different from meeting someone any other way.
The 30-year-old son of a friend of mine always complains that he has no girlfriend, but he refuses to go online or join any groups etc, and as his dad says, you aren't going to met anyone sitting in your bedroom. Sometimes we need to be proactive.
I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.
: cake10 Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.
Tell us about this group.
Why do they think that dating is desperate and pathetic.
I can guarantee you that not all of them are chaste and celibate. At your age the natural urges are what drive people to seek each other out. It is the way God made you.
Be wary of others your age who you think to be living a moral life and do not want you to get married and then have the right to explore your physical feelings.
As to being 25. That is an okay age to marry. But you are still young.
YOU will change over the next 5 to 10 years and not necessarily the way your spouse will.
I can't count the number of times that I have been tallking to "divorced" people and asked them why, ( I am nosey), only to be told "we grew apart".
It is a great risk when you are too young.
As to dating and looking for the right one.... Absolutely. I give that 2 thumbs up.
But do not be in a hurry, and try as best as you can to ignore your hormones.
: cake10 Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.
its no more desperate and pathetic than meeting someone in a bar, or at work, or in a church or anywhere else. It's just one more way of getting to know people. They don't sound like very good friends to me.
: cake10 Wed Jun 21, 2017 - 19:55:17
I tried since I was 18 so 7 years. I've had bad experiences. Yes I go out and do things. They think it's desperate and pathetic so I don't tell them.
Yes, I had bad experiences with online dating also, as many also do with normal dating. However I also met many lovely people. Choose one that is just for born again Christians and that isn't free, as there are too many scammers on free sites.
Find a good church though you need a church family.
I meant I've had bad experiences with church, not online dating. They don't date so they can meet the right one (I don't get it).
The main part of my post was that I know God doesn't have anyone for me and how to deal with it but you guys haven't given me ways not to think about my desires so I guess I should delete this thread but Idk how.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 10:07:41
I meant I've had bad experiences with church, not online dating. They don't date so they can meet the right one (I don't get it).
The main part of my post was that I know God doesn't have anyone for me and how to deal with it but you guys haven't given me ways not to think about my desires so I guess I should delete this thread but Idk how.
That's because we are much older than you and realize that you can't possibly know at such a very young age that God doesn't have anyone for you. You are so very young, there are millions older than you who are meeting their partners.
When God has given you a desire to marry, then why does He want you to suppress that?
I have 2 friends who didnt marry their now husbands till they were nearly 40. To give up now is madness.
BTW don't let a few bad experiences of church put you off. None of us are perfect, but God says we must all meet together and all the more chance for you to meet a special man.
I know he won't as punishment for my sins.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 12:28:30
I know he won't as punishment for my sins.
Nonsense! The Bible promises believes that there is no condemnation for those that are in Christ. Are you in Christ? Do you believe Him as your Savior? If so, you are His joint heir and God waits on high to have compassion upon you.
If God only blessed those that were sinless, none of us would have anything.
I have a sorted past. God forgave and blessed me anyway. I don't say that flippantly, but with great humility and thanksgiving.
Are you the poster Hello?
No I'm not and who's hello?
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:26:48
No I'm not and who's hello?
Another poster here who was gone for a long time, but I see is now back at the same time as your name came.
Her posts and yours are very similar. ::pondering::
ok
Cake, instead of seeing this issue as confirmation that God is punishing you, why not take it as a sign that He loves you so much, He is protecting you from something that would be unhealthy for you? Why not use it as a time to get to know Him better and forge a real and healthy relationship with Him?
Your view of Him isn't a healthy one, IMO. He is not waiting to smite you, nor is He sitting with His nose smugly in the air; He loves you! He has good plans for you! He is jealous for you! He died for you! Let Him be your truest love and let His love sustain you.
I remember being so sick of myself and my choices, that I asked Him to keep my heart from desiring anyone until *I* was who *He* wanted me to be. I went several years with no boy to hang my heart on, but I grew up a TON, learned that His love was very different than human's conditional "love" and when I was ready, my husband came along. Even if he hadn't, I wouldn't regret fully surrendering to God and letting myself be changed by Him.
No thank you
I just don't want that or believe all that but thanks anyway for the offer.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:44:15
I just don't want that or believe all that but thanks anyway for the offer.
Why are you here then? You don't want godly advice, so what do you want?
I wanted to know how to kill my desires for a spouse
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:47:32
I wanted to know how to kill my desires for a spouse
But, why did you choose to come here? To a Christian forum? I gave you advice on how to "kill" it (or at least postpone it) and you said, "No thanks".
What do you WISH we would say?
Is there some medication I can take for my sex drive?
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:51:21
Is there some medication I can take for my sex drive?
Sure. I've heard that antidepressants can kill it.
are you a believer?
I'm on an antidepressant. It doesn't kill it. I just don't want to want sex if there's nobody to have sex with. I believe in God and Jesus yes.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 13:56:34
I'm on an antidepressant. It doesn't kill it. I just don't want to want sex if there's nobody to have sex with. I believe in God and Jesus yes.
Have you talked to your doctor about this concern you have? What have they said if so?
You believe? As in, you believe the exist? Or you believe that Jesus is the only way to the Father and trust Him for salvation?
I haven't said anything to her. I believe He is the only way to God
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:01:28
I haven't said anything to her.
How come? She is the one that is best equipped to help you through this, IMO.
I believe He is the only way to God
And do you believe that He will or has saved you? Do you believe that He loves you?
Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single. I believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.
Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:10:46
Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single.
Well, that's just silliness. no offense. Your singleness does not define you. Are you *sure* you are not Hello? She has the same issues exactly.
I believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.
What scripture do you use to prove those bolded things to be true? Or is it just the rantings of some person that has convinced you of these things?
Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.
I'm just Cake10.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:12:32
Idk if I'm allowed to post links but if you youtube God Hates You by Mark Driscoll, it describes it.
Mark Driscoll is not God.
God is who you should trust on this. He says He loves the whole world, you are a part of that. He doesn't hate you. Not even a little bit. ::hug::
I just don't believe that but alright.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:16:20
I just don't believe that but alright.
Why? Why do you call God a liar, but Mark Driscoll (who is a fallible man) a truth teller? For all we know, if he is right that God hates some of us--Mark *himself* might be hated, because he is a liar and telling people falsehoods about God.
Idk maybe
1John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
1John 2:2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.
Mark Driscoll thinks he's clever, but he's foolish. He is quoting Scripture way out of context. Mark Driscoll is known for trying to shock people. I've seen folk here say that we should be saved so we don't have to be sentenced to a burning eternity. We should love God because of what He has done for us. He is seeking a people who will love Him. There is a proper fear of God but promoting God as a tyrant is not presenting Him as He truly is.
Jesus took the sin of mankind upon Himself and He bore God's wrath for us. That is often referred to as "the Great Exchange." He is our Mediator, Intercessor and Great High Priest. He stands before the Father and calls us righteous because He was our Victor for us by shedding His blood and dying on the cross for us. We are joint heirs with Jesus and God does not hate us. He chose to make a provision for us when He did not have to.
Read the Book (Gospel) of John and read the Book of Hebrews. You may have to read them a number of times but please do read them.
The Gospel of John explains who Christ really is. The Book of Hebrews explains how there is no redemption in following the Law, but that Christ came Himself to do what was necessary to reconcile mankind back to God Almighty.
: notreligus Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 15:06:14
1John 2:1 My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
1John 2:2 He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.
Mark Driscoll thinks he's clever, but he's foolish. He is quoting Scripture way out of context. Mark Driscoll is known for trying to shock people. I've seen folk here say that we should be saved so we don't have to be sentenced to a burning eternity. We should love God because of what He has done for us. He is seeking a people who will love Him. There is a proper fear of God but promoting God as a tyrant is not presenting Him as He truly is.
Jesus took the sin of mankind upon Himself and He bore God's wrath for us. That is often referred to as "the Great Exchange." He is our Mediator, Intercessor and Great High Priest. He stands before the Father and calls us righteous because He was our Victor for us by shedding His blood and dying on the cross for us. We are joint heirs with Jesus and God does not hate us. He chose to make a provision for us when He did not have to.
Read the Book (Gospel) of John and read the Book of Hebrews. You may have to read them a number of times but please do read them.
The Gospel of John explains who Christ really is. The Book of Hebrews explains how there is no redemption in following the Law, but that Christ came Himself to do what was necessary to reconcile mankind back to God Almighty.
Did you watch the video?
I don't conpletely agree with his tactics. However, the "God Hates You" video is aimed at non-Christians. Those who do not believe will face judgement.
That's terrible
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 12:28:30
I know he won't as punishment for my sins.
You have to make a decision as to whether you believe what God says or this nonsense that you believe. None of what you have said is Gods truth. Start reading about God's promises and replace the lies that you believe.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:10:46
Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single. I believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.
Again you are rejecting what God says and believing lies. The Bible clearly says 'If anyone is without sin He deceives himself and the truth is not in us' So we all sin. Please listen to loads of good Christian teaching and get to a good church.
: MeMyself Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:13:09
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 14:10:46
Idk why I haven't. I'm embarrassed that I'm still single.
Well, that's just silliness. no offense. Your singleness does not define you. Are you *sure* you are not Hello? She has the same issues exactly.
I believe He saves people but they must not sin and I believe He tolerates people.
What scripture do you use to prove those bolded things to be true? Or is it just the rantings of some person that has convinced you of these things?
Well spotted memyself, it is her.
Are you calling me a liar? I said I'm not hello
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 17:25:04
Are you calling me a liar? I said I'm not hello
Same IP address. Its ok its not against the rules to change your name unless its to avoid moderation.
Its pretty clear apart from that that you are the same person, you have exactly the same issues and way of writing.
I'm not her. Probably my cousin. We are both on here
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 17:31:19
I'm not her. Probably my cousin. We are both on here
Do you live together then? You seem to have the exact same attitudes, beliefs, problems, and issues.
no she told me about it. visiting. what's with the 3rd degree?
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 17:39:30
no she told me about it. visiting. what's with the 3rd degree?
The IP she used for a LONG time under the name 'hello' is the same as yours. Weird eh? How old is she?
I don't appreciate you interrogating me like you're superior to me. I already feel inferior. Good bye.
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 17:45:00
I don't appreciate you interrogating me like you're superior to me. I already feel inferior. Good bye.
'Hello' was on your ip for over a year, then 'hello' disappeared and you are now 'cake 10' with the same ip.
As I said it's not against the rules to change names, but why lie about it?
BTW your inferiority makes you think that others are trying to be superior, we aren't.
People here have tried to encourage you to do things that will change the lies you believe for Gods truth, but you are the only one who can make that effort to do them.
That's terrible
Yes. It is. Heartbreaking too.
God takes no pleasure in the destruction of the wicked and wishes none to perish, but because of pride, they will not surrender to the idea that they've sin and need the Lamb of God to save them.
Terrible, all that Christ went through because He loves the whole world and some say, "no thanks".
I don't care
: cake10 Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 19:41:43
I don't care
Well, whoever you are, your username and this thread reminds me of this song by Cake -
! No longer available (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5KmB8Laemg#)
: MeMyself Thu Jun 22, 2017 - 19:55:54
I don't care
About what?
Either about what Jesus did or that so many perish. ::shrug::