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How do you save a marriage when your spouse thinks you want out but you don't?

I'd have a sit down with my spouse and ask what about my behavior makes them think I want out.

Thanks

I have sent an email to reach out. Let's see

Friend told me tonight that I am not good at enforcing her own consequences. I'm always bailing her out.

I need help with this. Any tips?

Quote from: ForATime on Tue Jul 07, 2015 - 06:46:34
Friend told me tonight that I am not good at enforcing her own consequences. I'm always bailing her out.

I need help with this. Any tips?

Take her advice and stop bailing her out and let her face her own consequences. Totally.

Quote from: ForATime on Tue Jul 07, 2015 - 06:46:34
Friend told me tonight that I am not good at enforcing her own consequences. I'm always bailing her out.

I need help with this. Any tips?

It is the hardest thing to let someone you love bear the weight of their own consequences.  I feel for you.

I have learned to be aloof when the reports come in about how "bad" things are going for them.  I listen, empathize and then limit myself to 'How do you feel about that?  What do you suppose you will do now?'

SO SO SO HARD, but please, for your own sake, let yourself off of her hook.  Let her experience how life goes at her own hand and PRAY like crazy for God to open her eyes so that she will make better choices.

God bless.

Quote from: ForATime on Tue Jul 07, 2015 - 06:46:34
Friend told me tonight that I am not good at enforcing her own consequences. I'm always bailing her out.

I need help with this. Any tips?

if she wants out of the marriage, then you must enable her to see what it will be like to be single. At the moment you are protecting her from the consequences of her own sins. It may even help if you tell her that being she wants to leave the marriage, you will no longer be bailing her out. From now on she will need to look after herself and pay her own way. 
BTW she wont like it and will get mad. 

Quote from: ForATime on Tue Jul 07, 2015 - 03:59:51
Thanks

I have sent an email to reach out. Let's see

You can't communicate with your spouse face to face?

We do (again) when we handover kids.

Previously she wanted email only.

This week we chatted calmly for over an hour.

We are also having mediation soon.