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why did this start? Why do you keep doing it?  Ask yourself if you would feel comfortable with your husband doing this.

This kind of activity is off limits in my opinion and should stop immediately.


Perhaps both of your spouses should also have their say in this on-line relationship, maybe that would clear the fog a little.

I completely agree, Alan! I would NOT be ok with my dh doing this...so I would NEVER allow myself to either.

Quote from: MeMyself on Sat Oct 10, 2015 - 14:38:09
I completely agree, Alan! I would NOT be ok with my dh doing this...so I would NEVER allow myself to either.

Yes, secrecy is a huge part of why relationships fail these days....don't do it, be transparent, especially with your spouse!

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Quote from: angelsmith262 on Sat Oct 10, 2015 - 15:03:08
I am not really sure why it is a problem emailing as long as kept strictly platonic.    I would not have a problem telling my  husband I email a Pastor.     We have been emailing each other off and on for last 4 years.  If anything was going to happen, it would have by now, don't you think?    We both  always keep it strictly  platonic.   I was more less wondering what you thought about what the Pastor said ?  That is all.    It kind of threw me off guard.  Like I said, maybe I am reading too much into it.  thanks for you input.

Discuss this with your husband and have the pastor discuss the relationship with his wife, then come back here and we can chat about this pastors motives.

Quote from: angelsmith262 on Sat Oct 10, 2015 - 15:03:08
I am not really sure why it is a problem emailing as long as kept strictly platonic.    I would not have a problem telling my  husband I email a Pastor.     We have been emailing each other off and on for last 4 years.  If anything was going to happen, it would have by now, don't you think?    We both  always keep it strictly  platonic.   I was more less wondering what you thought about what the Pastor said ?  That is all.    It kind of threw me off guard.  Like I said, maybe I am reading too much into it.  thanks for you input.

WHY are you doing it?  You wouldn't have a problem telling your dh...so he's been in the dark about this for FOUR years.  Yeah. I'd be ticked if I were him.

Would you be fine with your husband doing this with another woman, even if it was platonic behind your back? 

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Quote from: angelsmith262 on Sat Oct 10, 2015 - 15:17:55
It is not 4 years straight emailing.  It is off and on. (like 6 months apart)   Just lately been more back and forth (about 3 weeks apart) between each email.     I like emailing him, as I do consider him as a friend, as much as he considers me a friend.    We both bounce off each other spiritually speaking and we each get alot of insight and encouragement spiritually speaking.   I have said "our" referring to my household and he said "our" referring to his household as well.       

Then why have you NOT let your husband know of this? Just doesn't ring innocently to me.  If it were purely platonic, there would be no reason not to talk to your dh about it and include him.  This is fishy big.time. IMO.

My dh knows who I post to here on a public board, he knows what we talk about and when I get the occasional PM, I tell him about those too.
Why? Because I do not want even a *hint* of the appearance of evil, him feeling like I have a secret from him with another man *and* because I respect him and want him to be included in the happenings of my life.

Angel, did you bring this up with your husband prior to posting it on here? It seems like if you have concerns about the guy's words and how they're used, your husband would be the one to talk to about this.

Speaking honestly, I would understand if my wife was speaking to a brother platonically. However what would upset me is if she had concerns about something like this and didn't bring it up to me first.

I should also mention, married or not, I wouldn't want to be kept in the dark about my wife chatting with a brother online. If it was a few days or even a week and it was a topic on spiritual growth or whatever that's fine to me, but 4 years? And me not knowing about it?

Angel, if your husband is a righteous man, you should be ready to face anger, and you should accept it and try to move on with better openness.

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Well your husband is a man, if he knows the guy maybe he can give you better insight. Point is, let him know.

It really seems like you're waiting for our approval here rather than our guidance.

 

Clearly you didnt like being told it was wrong.

So many wrong relationships have started this way, and if you know it is innocent then why havent you already told your husband long ago?