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I'm just curious to know if kissing is an issue in many marriages.  IOW, does one partner want and like kissing more than the other or does one want different kind of kissing than the other such as one may just want a short sweet kiss and the other wants long passionate kisses even when there will be no sex.

Any comments?

Certainly there are times in my marriage when one wants the long passionate kiss and the other just wants a short sweet one, but most of the time we are in sync. 

 




carry on.

i just had to do that.

Quote from: Serenity432001 on Mon Jul 30, 2007 - 12:11:56
I'm just curious to know if kissing is an issue in many marriages.  IOW, does one partner want and like kissing more than the other or does one want different kind of kissing than the other such as one may just want a short sweet kiss and the other wants long passionate kisses even when there will be no sex.

Any comments?

I saw this right after it was posted. It amused me then, and it still amuses me.

Is this a good-kisser, bad-kisser issue? a female-male issue? (IOW, women are more likely to want the long passionate kisses w/o the sex than most men. Not that they don't want sex. It just isn't the means to an end with most women. Kissing - really good kissing - can totally stand alone and be totally satisfying. Our culture has taught most men to think that everything leads to and ends with sex.)

That's one of my questions.  Do most men not want passionate kissing unless it leads to sex?  I know it's a little silly but I just thought it might be a fun topic to discuss

I like to kiss my wife and I really really like it when she wants to kiss me passionately.  Makes me feel loved.  It doesn't have to lead to sex - then.   It will eventually because we love each other!  Our 25th wedding anniversary is coming up on 13 aug.  It has been a long time since we just "made out" though after a date!

That's great zoo! Thanks for sharing!  It's good to know the men like that to feel loved as well.

Quote from: phoebe on Tue Jul 31, 2007 - 09:49:21

Quote from: Serenity432001 on Mon Jul 30, 2007 - 12:11:56
I'm just curious to know if kissing is an issue in many marriages.  IOW, does one partner want and like kissing more than the other or does one want different kind of kissing than the other such as one may just want a short sweet kiss and the other wants long passionate kisses even when there will be no sex.

Any comments?

I saw this right after it was posted. It amused me then, and it still amuses me.

Is this a good-kisser, bad-kisser issue? a female-male issue? (IOW, women are more likely to want the long passionate kisses w/o the sex than most men. Not that they don't want sex. It just isn't the means to an end with most women. Kissing - really good kissing - can totally stand alone and be totally satisfying. Our culture has taught most men to think that everything leads to and ends with sex.)

I don't know if culture has taught men that.  I think kissing can be arousing, and then sometimes autopilot takes over.

OK, kick me out if you have to!!!

I am not married, though I have been...twice.

The first time I was young and he was younger. The second time I was still young and he was OLD!! Everytime we kissed passionately, we had sex. That's just the way it was.

This time around, not married, just dating, but I hadn't dated for over 12 years, dating someone who had recently lost his wife, was used to having sex whenever they wanted...we started dating and when we kissed passionately it was wonderful!! It never lead to sex, but it sure was hard. But, I now know it can be done without leading to sex. Sometimes it did get a little scary and we'd have to stop kissing and discuss our boundaries, but that kept us from going too far.

Little love pecks are nice, too. I think it would depend on where you were or what was going on to know if you were going to give or get a peck or a nice long one!!

Am I kicked out??

Kicked out for what?

Quote from: janine on Tue Jul 31, 2007 - 23:15:49
Kicked out for what?

Are we kicking people out for passionate kissing in marriage?

I missed that session, what chapter and verse is that in?  I'm so far behind in my adding to and taking from the bible!!  I can't seem to keep up! 

We likes the long wet passionate kisses that lead to nowhere... but keep us in mind for later!

Maybe msbradley meant we'd kick her out for enjoying big fat sloppy passionate kisses when not married, but dating.

Heck, I'm just so thrilled to hear that she or anyone discussed their boundaries and how far was too far -- I'm certainly not gonna ride her out of the forums on a rail because she schmmmoooched her boyfriend.

(Of course I can be the biggest Miss Priss in the world when I'm telling other people how far is too far...)

 KISS...................Keep It Short Stupid.

msbradley,

I for one am very glad you shared.  You're always welcome to share as far as I am concerned.  You bring a lot to the table and I appreciate it very much.

I'm so glad you have found someone who is sharing your boundaries.  I know from experience it is very difficult to stick to those boundaries.  To be honest, I didn't do so good with them when I was divorced so my hat is off to you

Quote from: chandrus on Wed Aug 01, 2007 - 03:35:33
KISS...................Keep It Short Stupid.

Are you being comical or do you really believe this?   Sorry, usually I'd think comical but from some other things you've shared, I'm just not sure.  Care to elaborate?

Chandrus has a funny bone too.    Keep Inquiring Sweet Sister!

Janine and Serenity,
Thank you. Yes I was talking about getting kicked out because the subject was married kissing and my kissing wasn't married.
I was just discussing with a friend tonight about how it is so wonderfully safe being a Christian and knowing where your boundaries are.
Serenity, I really appreciate your kindness.
Janine, I really love your candidness.

When I started dating Greg, I couldn`t believe how short and dry his kisses were. At first I didn`t really like it, because I like big, wet, open kisses, and I figured he was just being shy, because he is a shy person. But as we became more comfortable with each other, he did start to open up a little, but never kissed as passionately as I would have liked. But I got used to it, and now I`ve come to crave his kisses. So anyways, my point is, when 2 people get together who have different kissing styles/preferences, it is possible (and even probable) to adjust to one another, and it`s even kind of nice. Greg and I are totally adapted to each other in our kissing, and it`s one more way that we fit together so nicely.

Quote from: phoebe on Tue Jul 31, 2007 - 09:49:21
Our culture has taught most men to think that everything leads to and ends with sex.

It ain't culture that "teaches" this, but it is the way men are wired.  Plain and simple.

It's not like there's only one way to kiss.  And it's not like there's no way to adapt or change along the way.

Quote from: janine on Thu Aug 09, 2007 - 11:39:58
It's not like there's only one way to kiss.  And it's not like there's no way to adapt or change along the way.

Amen!!
I found another great kisser!! He says he like my lips. I don't have pretty lips. So it must be something else.
By the way. I don't really think I found anther great kisser. I think it just depends on how you two feel about each other.
But, at the same time, sharing stuff like that with someone has always been minimal for me. So, it could be if I'd kissed a hundreds of men, I'd think there were hundreds of men who were good kissers. (and maybe hundreds of men would think I was) Ha Ha. I am being funny here.
Personally, since I'm a personable kind of person, I think it depends on how you feel toward the person you are kissing. I couldn't do a passionate kiss with someone I barely knew or didn't have great feelings for. "IF" they got a kiss from me, it would be just a peck. 
But, so far this year, the 2 people I have kissed were really great kissers!! Too bad the way a person kisses doesn't prove good or bad with the rest of their traits and qualities!! 

Shoot.  That would be a great thing.  If "It's in his kiss..." were only true!

If you had the chance to go to Faulkner and Brecheen marriage seminars you may remember good old Carl saying that everyday he would give his wife a deep passionate kiss.  It would gross out his kids but even with morning breath it was worth it.

Thinking about him having a deep old passionate kiss grossed me out as well, but it is good advice for any couple. 

*Sigh*

It's not so much Mike's morning breath, or even mine -- it's the combination that's lethal.

First the toothbrush, then the big ol' passionate kisses.

 

Kissing is wonderful; one small kiss can deliver so much it is amazing.  I love kissing!

Quote from: janine on Thu Aug 09, 2007 - 11:39:58
It's not like there's only one way to kiss.  And it's not like there's no way to adapt or change along the way.

I have a secret I've never shared with anyone before.    Billy and I have been married for more than 20 years, and he is a kind, considerate partner--always concerned with what pleases me--in other words, (to be a tad crude) he's a great lover!    But, I have never enjoyed his kisses.  I would never want to hurt his feelings or his ego, and I have no idea how I would go about telling him that I don't enjoy the way he kisses or asking him to change his technique in some way.  Since he is so awesome in every other way, I put this down as not being able to have everything just the way I'd like for it to be.

Quote from: charli on Tue Nov 27, 2007 - 14:45:30

Quote from: janine on Thu Aug 09, 2007 - 11:39:58
It's not like there's only one way to kiss.  And it's not like there's no way to adapt or change along the way.

I have a secret I've never shared with anyone before.    Billy and I have been married for more than 20 years, and he is a kind, considerate partner--always concerned with what pleases me--in other words, (to be a tad crude) he's a great lover!    But, I have never enjoyed his kisses.  I would never want to hurt his feelings or his ego, and I have no idea how I would go about telling him that I don't enjoy the way he kisses or asking him to change his technique in some way.  Since he is so awesome in every other way, I put this down as not being able to have everything just the way I'd like for it to be.

Do you mind if I ask what it is about them you do not like?  IOW, are they too passionate or not passionate enough.   Does he do tongue and you can't stand it or don't do tongue and you want him too?    If I'm getting too graphic or personal you can tell me it's none of my business but I'm just curious because my husband and I have had this discussion and feelings were hurt in the process but I think it was good to clear the air and let each other know.  I personally crave the much more passionate kisses than my husband and was just wondering if that's the norm or do most men like the passionate kissing?

Serenity,

I'd definitely like for his kisses to be more passionate.  I didn't date a lot a guys before we married, because I was so young when we married.  But the few guys I had dated were great kissers!  Now, even though our affection doesn't have to stop at kisses--to me, kissing could be a very enjoyable "main event," if I enjoyed his kisses more, you know?  I guess the best way to describe his kisses would be perfunctory--just a necessary step along the way to more important things.  More important to him anyway.

Thanks for your reply Charli.  You and I are on the same wave length here.  I just wonder if it is the differences in male/female as a general rule anyway.   I'm sure there are exceptions though.