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Instructions and promises for husbands.

"Husbands love your wives, and be not bitter against them"(Col 3:19) You must realize that after all your wife is a human being. She may make mistakes but you must show kindness and love even when your wife makes a mistake.

1.Due benevolence's I Cor 7:3. It is true that the husband is the head of the family. But you should not use your authority to destroy the confidence of your wife. You must love her help her when she is in difficulty.

2.Fear the Lord. Psalms 128:3-4. Some men blame their wives when something goes wrong at home. But if you fear God, He will bless your wife and she will be fragrant and fruitful at home.

3.Make provision.(I Timothy 5:8) You should work hard and meet all the needs of your family.

4.Live joyfully.(Ecclesiastes 9:9) You will not live in this world for ever and therefore it is your responsibility to make your wife happy.

5.The head of the family.( I Cor 11:3) You must realize that Jesus is your head.Similarly,you must take responsibility to be head of the family. It is not enough that you play a leadership role in managing the things of the world. You must be spiritual head of the family. In other words, you must lead your wife and children to eternity.

6.Exercise authority.(Gn 18:19) If you want to enjoy the blessings that God promised to Abraham, you should exercise spiritual authority over all the members of your family as Abraham did.

7.Honour your wife.(I Peter 3:7) You must realize that your wife is weaker than yourself.Therefore,you should support her and honor her so that the spiritual atmosphere of your home is not spoiled.
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That first verse you quoted in Corinthians isn't about a husband's authority. It's about sex.

Chandrus - First, I am wondering if this is your response to the request to post a "Model Husband" piece? If so, thank you. I appreciate your effort.

I want to challenge some things you said here. I hope you will respond. This is how I see things, how I understand Scripture and God's desire for the husband/wife relationship:

1) 1 Cor 7:3 is about mutual responsibility to and respect for each other in the bedroom, both having, and not having, sex. This section of Paul's letter was in response to the pagan teachings of basically not having sex at all being pleasing to the gods. Women who had not been taught the Truth were gullible to these false teachings, and were shutting their husbands out of the bedroom. I'm sure this did not set well with them. Imagine the chaos of a bunch of frustrated men!

2) From point #3, 1 Tim. 5:8 is in the middle of a passage about caring for those who are "true" widows, who have no family and are left financially destitute if they had no dowry. The verse you quote tells us that we are to care for widows within our own families who are financially destitute, so the church can care for the "true" widows. If this verse has anything to do with husbands responsibilities to wives, it would be that they are to provide financially for their wives after their own deaths.

3) Point #4: "... it is your responsibility to make your wife happy." ouch. No, it is each person's own responsibility to find/make their own happiness. Happiness is not guaranteed in Scripture. Happiness comes from things, and is fleeting. We can have joy, joy in Christ, joy in each other. In Ecc. 9:9, the Hebrew word used in this verse is ra'ah, and it means to see your wife, to look deeply into her eyes. To see her, really see her. IOW, the husband is to choose knowing his wife, and in so knowing, being joy-filled with her. Quite a different perspective.

4) Re: #1, 5 and 6. "head", kephale, does not mean ruler or leader, not even "spiritual leader", of the family. But that's a whole different discussion. God did not create a hierarchy when he made the man and the woman. He made them one. As one, they care for, provide for, and lead their family together.

And finally, (whew - bet you're glad we're at the end!)
5) Point #7. 1 Peter 3:7. "weaker" does not mean the wife is physically or spiritually weaker. It refers to the cultural disadvantage of the woman's ability to be financially able to provide, to be in a disadvantaged position to earn a living. The husband is to recognize that his wife is at least partially dependent on him for financial needs, and as they are joint-heirs in the spiritual life, so to they are to be joint-owners of their finances. This shows honor and respect to her.


Chandrus, I hope you will consider these thoughts, and how they fit into the way you see God's desires for the husband-wife relationship.
-phoebe

Thanks for shaing your views.

Can you expound a bit on what being the kephale does mean, phoebe?

I believe man is the head of the woman and the spiritual leader.  The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife.

Like an elder, he is responsible for his family.

Quote from: janine on Sat Jul 28, 2007 - 23:30:55
Can you expound a bit on what being the kephale does mean, phoebe?

Yes.

kephale is the source of something, in this case, the source of life.


kephale is defined in Scripture:

Col 2:19 GWT:

QuoteHe doesn't hold on to {Christ,} the head [kephale]. Christ makes the whole body grow as God wants it to, through support and unity given by the joints and ligaments.

same passage in TSNT:

QuoteSuch a person does not take hold of the Source. It's the Source that more than fully supplies the whole body, knits it together and makes it grow with growth from God through the ligaments and sinews.

Then when we read 1 Cor. 11, it takes on a different meaning:

TSNT:

QuoteI want you to know that the source of every man is the Anointed One, the source of woman is man, and the source of the Anointed One is God.

If this had been a pattern for patriarchal hierarchy, Paul would have listed them in order of hierarchy: God over Christ, Christ over man, man over woman. But we know that isn't right, because woman only has one authority head, one cannot have two heads without there being conflict, and that head is Christ. Instead, Paul is saying that the source of eternal life for all humankind is Christ, that woman came from the side of man, and that Christ came from God. It is a description of the inter-connectedness of us all.

Scripture itself defines "head", kephale, as being the Source of life. kephale CANNOT mean "head OVER someone" in the Greek. There are other Greek words that Paul would have used that would have better described this idea of authority and ruling if that were what Paul meant.

Does this tell you what you wanted to know, Janine?

Quote from: Gary on Mon Jul 30, 2007 - 13:51:53
I believe man is the head of the woman and the spiritual leader.  The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife.

Like an elder, he is responsible for his family.

This was awesome: "The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife." And so the wife to the husband. This is mutual submission.

We'll work on the rest. 

Quote from: phoebe on Mon Jul 30, 2007 - 14:14:35

Quote from: Gary on Mon Jul 30, 2007 - 13:51:53
I believe man is the head of the woman and the spiritual leader.  The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife.

Like an elder, he is responsible for his family.

This was awesome: "The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife." And so the wife to the husband. This is mutual submission.

We'll work on the rest. 

I read Gary's second sentence as an explanation of the first:
I believe man is the head of the woman and the spiritual leader. [and he does this by]  The man is to put his wants and desires on the backburner and serve the wife.

Maybe that's not how Gary meant it? 

Quote... Does this tell you what you wanted to know, Janine?

Yes it does --

What I wanted to know was, if phoebe would provide the details that portray no man as having authority over her (at least from that passage).  I was right.  One can depend upon phoebe.

QuoteColossians I Corinthians 11:1-16

Strong's Number:  2776   kefalh
from the primary kapto (in the sense of seizing)

Decapitation, anyone?

Quote... Transliterated Word:  kephale
Phonetic Spelling:  kef-al-ay' 
Parts of Speech:  noun Feminine

Definition:

1. the head, both of men and often of animals. Since the loss of the head destroys life, this word is used in the phrases relating to capital and extreme punishment.

2. metaph. anything supreme, chief, prominent
         1. of persons, master lord: of a husband in relation to his wife
         2. of Christ: the Lord of the husband and of the Church
         3. of things: the corner stone

Amazing how man-centric these dictionaries and study tools are.

Colossians 2:19 more of the same.

Also

Quote... translated KJV (76) - head, 76;
NAS (75) - chief, 4; hair, 1; head, 50; heads, 19; very, 1

No one would argue that there isn't interconnectedness, nor that you can't see the man and woman as sources of and for each other, nor that you can't see the Father Son and Spirit as interconnected and flowing from one to the other.

I just don't necessarily see it right there at those two points you're standing on.

As for I Peter 3:7

QuoteStrong's Number:  772   Original word  { a)sqenh/v } (excuse the font problem)

Word Origin (as a negative particle) and the base of (4599)
Transliterated Word:  Asthenes

Phonetic Spelling:  as-then-ace' 
Parts of Speech: Adjective

Definition
   1. weak, infirm, feeble

Translated Words
KJV (25) - impotent, 1; more feeble, 1; sick, 6; weak, 12; weak things, 1; weaker, 1; weakness, 2; without strength, 1;

NAS (24) - helpless, 1; sick, 6; unimpressive, 1; weak, 12; weak things, 1; weaker, 1; weakness, 2

You're drawing a fairly fine, tight line to restrict that to all and only an allusion to the way society saw women at the time --

Saying (if I understand you) that that's all and only what Peter meant, and what his readers/hearers would have understood.  (Since of course any wise apostle or wise first-century Christian knew better *wink wink* than to think as a woman as weak in any way.)

Amazing how careless and man-centric all the translators of the KJV and NAS were.  To think "asthenes" would ever mean anything but "highly valuable, amazingly strong and totally equal in every way to you, you bonehead".

Of course, any right-thinking Christian man who is trying to build his personal theology and practice with that verse in mind will see that particular reference to a "weaker vessel" and know it means that he should be a mate to, a life-partner to, the woman, knowing she is the Ming vase to his yellow plastic rolling mop bucket.  She is the finely turned and delicately balanced valuable instrument to his crudely crafted Chinese mass-produced sledgehammer.  Painted a cheap safety yellow.  With a nick in it.

That's the Passage According to Janine, you see.