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I am 19 and engaged to a 16 year old. We are talking about getting married when she turns 17. What do you guys think about this?

I know this isn't something you want to hear. But you are too young.  You have your whole life ahead of you and a lot of growing up to do, I am not saying this to insinuate that you are immature, but you are extremely young.  There is so much out there.  I know I sound like a parent, but you would be surprised at how many things there are out there.  And one other thing, you two need to get an education..it's priceless.  Being out in the real world is tough a lot tougher than you think...I know I was where you are..I can't wait until I get out into the real world..but it is hard and being prepared for it makes it a lot easier..at times.  You will be able to have so much more in life with an education, and I am not just talking about money. 

I know that when I have kids, I would like to give them somethings that I didn't have as a child, it's a natural inclination.  And without having an education and a career it's hard.

I know you could get an education while married, I know that, but juggling marriage and work and college is very difficult.  You need to be prepared for that.  And it will be real easy to quit and just get by. 

I hope it works out for you regardless of when you get married.  Take care.

Quote from: Rand_McNally on Tue Apr 01, 2008 - 01:24:51
I am 19 and engaged to a 16 year old. We are talking about getting married when she turns 17. What do you guys think about this?

What does your parents think about this?

.

I knew a young man of 27 who loved a girl of 16. He joined her church to be near her, and they eventually married. They have three wonderful children and a good marriage. Ages are not what matters as much as putting the Lord's will first in your lives. If it's His will, it will work out. If not, then it won't. Be sure to seek God's will, and her parents since she's a minor.

My parents think we are young but they said they will support it and her parents are okay with it.

.

Hi Rand... my question is this. Why do YOU want to be married so young? Does it feel like God's calling for you both to be eternally together or is it sexually driven? You need to examine your motives, because saying "I DO" means a lifetime, or should mean a lifetime. Many, many young marriages end in divorce because people out grow eachother. They don't mean to, it's just a natural progression to continue growing and changing your mind about a lot of things.

I was engaged at 19 also... and my Grandmother talked me out of it. I'm 43 now with a wonderful husband that I married at age 27. And looking back, I'm glad I didn't marry the first guy. I'm glad your parents are supportive, but they must be giving you some food for thought also.

Think of God, yourself and your wife to be, and decide it this is an instant gratification thing, or a lifetime commitment.

okay. now, I am a firm believer of young love. some people find love in highschool, some when they are in their 30s and 40s. I was in love when I was 16, but I am no longer with that guy because God redirected me once I grew closer to Him and spun my life around. When  I turned 18 I started dating an amazing guy who I am getting married to in 6 days. We are both 20 now. And we feel God has called us together. The situation is right. He is telling us it is. Financially, spiritually, emotionally ect.
Now where do you draw that line? At what age do you consider to be mature enough to take this huge step?

When youre held accountable to God I think thats when youre mature enough to make decisions like this. When you do something bad and you know its wrong, you'll feel the conviction. Instead of having someone find out you did something wrong, you should be fearing that God already knows you slipped up. Age is simply just a number, but I think its a level of maturity and accountability and conviction.

Just stay in prayer about it. . .

I believe if you are fully aware of listening for God's direction, you are mature enough for marriage.

Marriage is something that can grow, and when you have the right fertilizer, (God's blessing) you can't go wrong.

You seem more mature than I was at 18, and married. I have been married for 32 years. There are always ups and downs, but when you realize that neither one is perfect and that God is the One who can sustain you through all the ups and downs, as you put your trust in Him fully, you will do fine.

Just believe Him.

Blessings, Memmy

Quote from: courtgirl72 on Tue Apr 01, 2008 - 19:37:23
I know this isn't something you want to hear. But you are too young.  You have your whole life ahead of you and a lot of growing up to do, I am not saying this to insinuate that you are immature, but you are extremely young.

My wife and I have been married for almost 13 years, now. On our wedding day, I was 21, and she was 18.

Quote from: James Rondon on Sun Apr 20, 2008 - 22:07:51

Quote from: courtgirl72 on Tue Apr 01, 2008 - 19:37:23
I know this isn't something you want to hear. But you are too young.  You have your whole life ahead of you and a lot of growing up to do, I am not saying this to insinuate that you are immature, but you are extremely young.

My wife and I have been married for almost 13 years, now. On our wedding day, I was 21, and she was 18.

Hubby and I were the same age as you and Annie, and are in our 29th year of marriage. I would not have changed a thing about our lives, but I don't know that I would recommend to anyone else that they marry so young.

Most 16-year-olds are not ready for marriage.  Not all 19-year-olds are either. 

My brother married when he was 17, and his wife was 19.  They've been happily married about 25 years.  Their biggest struggle for years was finances.  Being he had not finished High School, the jobs he had for the first 8 or so years of their marriage paid little.  It was a tough time for them, but they made it through and are very happy today.

In Israel and through the ancient near east of the Bible, a man had to provide the bride-price before he could wed a young lady.  He gave the father of the bride the bride-price, typically a full year's salary.  Upon reception of the bride-price by the girls father, the marriage covenant was established and the couple was considered married though they might not cohabitate for a year or more.  The girl's father took the bride-price, added to that his daughter's family inheritance, and this sum total made up the dowry - a significant amount of money.

The dowry then served as a solid financial start for the family, and as a means of support for the wife if she was widowed or divorced for the dowry was legally hers.  So, if she was one of multiple wives and her husband died, she at least was guaranteed the value of the dowry from the family possessions.  If her husband divorced her, the judges judicated how much of the dowry the husband had to pay her.  The worse her infraction, the less the husband had to pay.  If the husband was divorcing her for immoral reasons, he had to pay the full dowry. 

Anyhow, I encourage you to be as fiscally responsible as possible.  Taking on a family is no light responsibility.

Blessings,
Sherman

i think its against the law...sorry

Quote from: Disciple24 on Thu Apr 24, 2008 - 15:15:42
i think its against the law...sorry

depends on the state

Quote from: Rand_McNally on Tue Apr 01, 2008 - 01:24:51
I am 19 and engaged to a 16 year old. We are talking about getting married when she turns 17. What do you guys think about this?

What are your future plans?  Have Kids or No Kids, continued education, place to live, income and what do each of you envision the future to be like?

Have these things been discussed?  What about premarital counseling?

Just some things to think about before saying I Do.