advice for a christian friend

[KRISSY]

Last week a friend of mine called up in tears. She is a friend I have had now for over a year, and is a new Christian. She joined a Christian dating site. She put on her pictures, and was very honest in her profile, but she said everytime the men saw that she was over weight they took a hike, and as a new christian she wanted to know why Men that called themselves men of God were acting like ungodly men, and I honestly could not answer her, any advice I could give her that might make her feel better?

[starla]

Last week a friend of mine called up in tears. She is a friend I have had now for over a year, and is a new Christian. She joined a Christian dating site. She put on her pictures, and was very honest in her profile, but she said everytime the men saw that she was over weight they took a hike, and as a new christian she wanted to know why Men that called themselves men of God were acting like ungodly men, and I honestly could not answer her, any advice I could give her that might make her feel better?

What's the name of the christian dating site?Maybe I can get a discenment and a idea of which men are in the spirit of truth and in the spirit of error 

[KRISSY]

I believe she said she used eharmony and requested christian men only.

[starla]

I believe she said she used eharmony and requested christian men only.

Ask her has she ever tried Real Christian Singles.com

[smokey]

Guys are shallow. I know because I'm one of them. I used to have an overweight girlfriend and it was hard because my friends wouldn't stop making fun of me. At least she has the advantage of knowing when she does find someone he isn't just using her for her appearance. Thats not very good advice, but its the best I could do. Sorry.

[KRISSY]

Smokey, Christ is suppose to change our attitudes. I can understand your fear of what your friends might think if you are younger, as in not an adult. Peer pressure is hard when your a kid.
I have a hard time believing that all men are shallow. But I can see what you are saying. I think we all desire to have the best mate we can have, but if your really in love with someone you need to look inside because when we get old, both men and women tend to go south.lol Things begin to not look so good. and that is when we remember that we fell in love with who the person is on the inside.
My friend page is a beautiful woman, and I am not just saying that as a friend, I mean she is really pretty, but as she has got older she has packed on a few pounds.
I honestly cannot say why these men are running the other way, she seems to think it is her weight, but it might just be her low self esteem.

[janine]

You know it probably is more her self-esteem (even though I hate that term).

I am fat and I get plenty of appreciative attention.   Being married it certainly can't go farther than a smile, but a woman knows when her appearance is appreciated.

Even if she's "well-rounded", there are actually men who prefer to hug something besides whipcord muscle and bones.  (If they want someone as hard and muscular and toned as they are, they can go hug another man... hah!)

Try to encourage her.  And if she is putting photos up and they can tell she's heavy, and they still want to see her, and they don't run away until after they see her -- it might be that she presents herself as too low in self-esteem.  Or it might be she presents as too desperate to find a mate.

Or it might be that the men don't want another date because they can tell they won't be getting her into the sack any time soon, has she thought of that one?  In which case, good riddance, right?

Please do point her to this website and get her to check out Lee "Admin" Wilson's "net dating site, as mentioned above.

[KRISSY]

Thanks I will share that with her, and see if she has better results. You know what I find funny? I have a male friend that is very big, he must be close to 390, and he is not that tall,but that man has more beautiful women hanging on him then I can count. But he is very sure of himself, and no he is not rich.lol not even close. But I find it funny that men do not have to worry about finding a mate because they are heavy, but women do. Does weight or pounds have a sex to it? lol Isn't fat just that.. Fat???. Yeah I know I am being goofy tonight and quite quizical. hee hee

[janine]

There's a person in here under all that fat, I think.  The women enjoy the person. 

I wouldn't let your friend get away with blaming her size for the lack of success meeting suitable men.  Fat never stopped lots of people.  It's just a matter of finding the right sort of guy.

I guess it can be a long bumpy ride, that search. I have witnessed it but not walked the road myself because my mother picked out my husband for me.  (He was the one she hated least of all my acquaintances as a young woman.)