Why do some women entertain two-timers.

[unluckyinlove]

I'm still single, and i have been in love with this woman for a long time, recently i found out that she is in a relationship with a man who already has a girlfriend, and she is only waiting for the man to break up with his girdfriend before it is officially them.

My question is why is she having a relationship with this man who is two-timing ( or even three timing) his girlfriend, i mean why do some women still entertain the courtship of a man who still has yet to break up with his girlfriend, does this mean that she is desperate, so desperate what she would even consider a man who already has a girlfriend?

I find it hard to believe that she is desperate,  she is a very beautiful woman, in fact in her friendster page, she put in single.

I have always thought that is woman was a beautiful but nice girl, it really shocked me to discover that she would engage in such an evil relationship.

I mean if this man can cheat or two-time his girlfriend now, then he can also cheat or two-time or even three-time her tommorrow.

So why do women still entertain or consider such men?  In my opinion women should never entertain or consider any man who is clearly not the faithful type.

Why do women do that? Why would such a nice and beautiful woman do that?

[Bon Voyage]

I don't know why people do things that hurt themselves, but they do.

[msbradley]

Here I go!! I'll try to use fewer words than normal since you are new.
Just because a person has good looks, doesn't mean anything about their character!!
That's the first thing that would solve a bunch of relationship problems. A person's beliefs and actions depend on what is inside them, not what they look like!!
If people would look for character rather than all the outer stuff, I believe there'd be less emotional pain in relationships.
I know, I know, people say they have to find physical attraction...If something about someone grosses me out about them, I'm not interested. But, they don't have to meet any predetermined physical standards. I look for the way they act and live. What they love and choose to do to and for others. How they do with what they have been given, not outer stuff.
If you are still interested in someone who has shown such bad character, you are in this "relationship" for all the wrong reasons.
This just might be my shortest opinion/advice post ever!!
Unluckyinlove, re-evaluate what you look for, look "IN" people, not just "AT" them.

[Jon-Marc]

What happens when he gets tired of her and wants someone else? He will drop her like a hot potato. Men or women who want more than one partner at the same time cannot be trusted. I was married to one so I know.

[unluckyinlove]

That's the thing that has really shaken me up, she was a classmate of mine when we were young, and the impression that i and almost everyone got about her was she is a nice level-headed girl and not the type who would just go out  with any man.

That's why i was shocked to find out that she is in such a relationship recently.

I do have reason to believe that the two-timer is already seeing a third girl, and i believe she found this out already and has already decided to walk away from the relationship, but i have not confirmed this yet, the thing is i want to ask her out, something i have wanted to do for a long time now.

Should i try to ask her out?

The problem is, she is my first love and i have not fallen in love with any other woman since.

There is supposed to be a school reunion  within the year, and i have this strange feeling that God wants me to wait until the reunion before i try to ask her out, but i have had contact with her ( which is how i know about her relationship) and i am thinking about asking her out before the reunion.

What should i do?


Thanks to all those who  replied.

[janine]

Compromise.  Make the date with her now to go to the Reunion together.

I do want to know what you mean by your phrases.

What does "ask out/go out" mean to you?  Simply seeing if she will go to an event with you, or something more?

What do you mean by her being "in a relationship with" a bad guy who had another girlfriend or even two?

Why is this bad?  Is it bad because you feel that people should only go out to events with one person only ever one person always one person?  And if they go different places with different people, that's somehow bad?

Or by "relationship" are you meaning a sexual relationship, some sort of twisted pre-engagement-pretty-much-married sort of relationship?

I need to know what's in your head.

If there is any sort of cheating or stupidity or low character in the woman because she dates a man who may or may not date other people --

What is she messing up?  How is she cheating?

Line up for me your definitions of a "relationship".

And what do you mean by you being "in love with" her?

Have you ever told her this stuff?  Like when y'all were in school, did she have any idea?

How old are you today?

[unluckyinlove]

Thanks Janine, i like that idea, but i think i'd have to ask her out first on a date before i can ask her if she will go to the reunion with me.

Ask out/go out, you know, on a date, to see her again, to see if she'll let me court her( assuming she even agrees to go on a date with me).


She's in a relationship with a bad guy because  she's seeing this guy and she's in love with him and she was just waiting for this guy to break up with his girldfriend so they it will be officially them. The guy is two timing his girlfriend. And she knows this of course. The guy promised her that he would leave his girlfriend for her.


And that's really bad. She should have dumped the creep the second she found out he still has a girlfriend. She left the relationship only after the guy had a third girl already, that's how bad that creep is.


I don't know  if there is/was a sexual relationship, but i certainly hope to God there wasn't.  Getting into a relationship knowingly with a two timer is bad enough, having sexual relations with a creep like that would really be bad, it would take away any chance i have for real love.


I'm in love with her, as in i want her to be my girlfriend and if everything works out then i'm hoping to marry her someday.

She's known that for a few years now, and she also knew back in school. But i only had a chance to try and ask her out recently but i didn't ask her out because i found out from her that she was  seeing someone, someone who already had a girlfriend.

I'm in my late twenties now.

[janine]

Thanks for filling me in.

I was just wondering what exactly there is that could be called cheating or two-(or three)-timing, if there is neither a "we are a couple engaged to be married" relationship, nor what passes for shacking up and all the attendant loyalty issues of sleeping with no one else.

That is, I have needed people to explain to me what kind of relationship exactly they are talking about when they tell me about stuff like this --- because, for example, I'll have youngsters like mid-teens talk about someone "cheating", and I'm like, "What the heck are you talking about?"

"Cheating how?  I have underwear older than you!  You can't mean you consider that guy/that girl to be "loose" because they went to a movie with one person this week and a party with another person the next week?  People your age should not be doing the "courting" thing yet -- and people your age had better not be in any kind of relationship where one needs sexual loyalty! --"

But I am glad to have you clarify that your disillusionment is about this girl because she thinks so little of her value that she should basically aid this crummy guy in being a dog among bitches.

And I'm very glad you've a level head and that you have such standards.  Not super-human-impossible standards -- just plain good Godly standards.

I'm not saying to not hope things might one day work out.

And I'm not saying you should cut off communication with this girl, you've known her since school -- and frankly, you might be the one young man she knows who has her best interest in mind.

No, not that her best interest is just exactly that she should end up with you!  Hah!  Although I am sure you are quite the catch --

But I suspect you want a better way for her even if she never falls into your lap.

So don't nag her about it -- and you SURE do NOT need to mope around sighing waiting for things to bust up with Mr. Dog so she'll be all clear-minded and maybe you can get her attention.

Relax. Go about your business.  Live.  If the opportunity arises, speak with her, but do not make yourself look pitiful by wallowing around wishing she'd finally see the light.

You go on and meet other ladies and live.

But do not be shocked if she does warm up to you later on, because you know odds are Mr. Dog won't stick around long.

[janine]

Oh, and P.S., to answer the question -- "Why do some women entertain two-timers?"

Because hope springs eternal?

Because there are not enough good men to go around?

Because some women sell themselves short?

I like the third one.

[unluckyinlove]

Thanks for your nice posts Janine, i'm still praying and hoping for the best, one day, whatever happens, im going to have to ask her why she did what she did.

I think i have to ask her out as early as possible, after i confirm that she has left the two-timer. I'm afraid if i don't she might end with another creep.

Thanks.

[janine]

It might be she's one of those women who somehow feels she MUST have a man?

[unluckyinlove]

She never struck me as being that kind of a woman.