Which is better?

[chandrus]

1. Love marriage.

2. Arranged marriage.

What bible teaches both?

[DCR]

You could say that Adam and Eve's was an "arranged marriage" by God Himself.  I've heard it said before that Mary and Joseph may have been arranged to be married.

Jacob apparently wanted to marry Rachael out of love.  But, he was tricked by his future FIL to marry the sister instead.

Anyway, there were some different cultural practices at work there.  As far as whether the Bible endorses one as being better than the other, I don't think it says.

Though, sometimes I have to wonder if some of us would have had a better shot at getting married if it had been arranged. 

[Sherman Nobles]

There is a difference between Romantic Love and True Love. 

Romantic Love is based on selfishness and one's emotions, comes and goes, one falls into it and out of it, has very little (if anything) to do with one's volition, is often obsessional.  Its theme is "Marry the one you love".

True Love is based on selflessness and one's volition, is birthed and grows or dimenishes, provides a foundation for emotional stability.  Its theme is "Love the one you marry."

When you say "Love Marriage", I believe most such relationships are "Romanti Love."  Whereas "Arranged Marriage" relationships would necessitate "True Love."  In our culture most relationships start off as "Romantic Love" and attempt to change or grow into "True Love."  Sadly this does not occur most of the time, rather the relationship ends.  Why? Because the foundation of "Romantic Love" is selfishness (how he/she makes me feel); but the foundation of "True Love" is selflessness (how can I show him/her my love). 

For the Christian, we are directed to Love the one we have married.  But of course, emotions and sub-concious biological and psychological factors influence our choices.

[ConnieLard]

"Which is better?

1. Love marriage.

2. Arranged marriage.

What bible teaches both?"

I don't think it's a matter of which is better or which does the Bible teach. 

It's a cultural thing.  During Bible times, it is my understanding that marriages were mostly "arranged marriages", which is still true in some parts of our world today.  We in the United States are more familiar with what you are terming "love mariages" and what Sherman is calling "romantic." 

There are attendant risks and benefits with either style of marriage.  In either style it is important to do the work to develop more biblical "true love", as the romantic love soon fades.

[janine]

Which is better depends entirely on the two people being married and the support, and type of support, they get from extended family and culture thereafter.

There is supposed to be a low divorce rate, for example, in tightly-defined communities, those thought of and who think of themselves as separate and apart from the culture(s) around them, enclosed communities where marriages are arranged -- for example some sects of Judaism in the U.S.  If your main criterion for determining "good marriages" is couples not divorcing, that looks great.

Of course it could also be that a portion of those good marriages would quickly end in divorce (if not murder) or murder if an abused partner felt they had any power at all to get out out out of the marriage, any way to have any sort of life after the marriage ended.

On the other hand, take a whole society with mostly arranged marriages.  Maybe India is a good example.  Most people probably get along fine with arranged marriages and dowries and bride-prices and stuff -- but you still hear of the women poisoned and burned after they marry into another family, and that family doesn't like them, or wants them to have children and it looks as if they cannot, or maybe the husband's family threatens to hurt her if her parents don't come up with more money.

So I think that whether people find someone to love and then marry, or whether they are given someone to marry and then love, either way, the success of that marriage and that household still depends on the two in it -- and whether or not they invite God in, too.

[HRoberson]

1. Love marriage.

2. Arranged marriage.

What bible teaches both?

Which is better? An orange or an apple?

[ConnieLard]

 

[zoonance]

Chandrus, are you married?  Why or why not?

[chandrus]

Married, God blessed with 2 children, one son soft-ware engineer, daughter working in Software company as HR & Finance dept, my daughter in law working in consulate as visa officer.

[janine]

And how do you feel about arranged marriages versus random-met marrying for love?

[ann]

To me that is a very unfair question Chandrus because you are mixing up religious beliefs. I call this very unfair!!!

[zoonance]

Married, God blessed with 2 children, one son soft-ware engineer, daughter working in Software company as HR & Finance dept, my daughter in law working in consulate as visa officer.

Interesting.  I wonder how any of the new VISA regs are going to affect people I know and ones who want to come work with me at the zoo from out of the country?  Sounds like you have a great family.  What does your husband do?   Sounds like a computer savvy family!

[zoonance]

Married, God blessed with 2 children, one son soft-ware engineer, daughter working in Software company as HR & Finance dept, my daughter in law working in consulate as visa officer.

Interesting.  I wonder how any of the new VISA regs are going to affect people I know and ones who want to come work with me at the zoo from out of the country?  Sounds like you have a great family.  What does your husband do?   Sounds like a computer savvy family!

Oops.  You are the husband!  What does your wife do? You didn't mention her.    (I get the feeling you aren't employed?)

[spurly]

If I were to choose one, I would say arranged marriages.

[Arkstfan]

In our culture with our expectations for marriage, arranged marriages would never work.

I love the play Fiddler on the Roof (warning straight guy who really enjoys musicals here) and one of my favorite parts is the daughter marrying for love rather than through match-making / arranged marriage. The daughter goes on about romantic love and later Tevye asks Golde if she loves him. That is a very different worldview, where marriage isn't about your soul-mate but a good match that will work together and maybe love will follow.
http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/483457.html

[angeleyes]

I think that all marriages in some form or another are arranged. They could either be pre-ordained by God or if you allow the enemy to have his way it is arranged by him.