How do you know when you are in love?

[starla]

How do you know when you are in love? How do you tell the difference between a crush or infatuation and real love?

Beth, 30, San Antonio, Texas
The simple answer is, you just do! It's like no other feeling you have ever experienced. You can't stop thinking about the person; your heart skips a beat every time you see them. You don't care about anything else, and would do anything in the world for that person. You click on every level: hobbies, personality, likes, dislikes. It's the most amazing feeling in the world! I don't believe there is such a thing as love at first sight. I think there is attraction at first sight but you truly have to know a person to fall in love with them. That is the difference between love and a crush. Chances are if you are infatuated with someone or have a crush on them you don't really know that person and the street is one way (you have feelings but they don't feel the same). True love is a two-way street -- the other person feels the same way about you as you feel about them.

Trevor, 30, Boise, Idaho     know I'm in love when I feel like the one I'm with was made for me by God himself. They're designed to be your other half and you question everything in your life that has every happened up until the point you meet them and everything in your life changes. Your every sense is heightened as if you're intoxicated with this feeling of total bliss! You'll know when it's real. 

Cathy, 46, Moorpark, California You know you're in love when there is no hesitation in expressing yourself. When you feel you can share anything and everything. When you are not anxious about making a commitment. Mostly, you don't feel the need to look around for greener pasture. You don't think that maybe the next man you meet may be better. You are willing to check this relationship out...see where it goes. A crush or an infatuation doesn't last long -- it's not satisfying and doesn't usually turn into a long-term relationship.

Michael, 45, Sacramento, California When you are in love you will just know it. There is no formula or logic to love. You just feel it in your heart, your mind, and your soul. The feeling is something you can't describe but can arise at any moment, triggered by a memory, a word or a thought of that special person. The difference between a crush/infatuation and real love is that a crush is someone you may forget about during the course of a day/week/month. Someone you may think of a few moments from time-to-time that you can do fun things with such as dates, dinner, and movies. A real love is someone that you cannot live without, someone who is constantly on your mind, day in and day out. It's someone you can't wait to talk to next. Someone who you can't wait to see for whatever reason!

Being in love is an exhilarating feeling, and it has the potential to become real love. Being in love is like the hook for the opportunity of real love to present itself. When you are in love with someone, you feel very attracted to the other person, in several different levels: physical, mental, emotional and yes, spiritual. From getting to know the person with whom you are in love, real love has the opportunity to flourish.

Real love, unlike an infatuation is realistic. Real love is a complete acceptance of the other person, and of oneself. Because if you can't love yourself, who can you love? Or who will love you? Complete acceptance does not mean that we don't find shortcomings in the other person, as that is not possible, we are humans and we are not perfect, we all make mistakes. Complete acceptance means discernment with no judgment. It means that we accept the whole package just as it is, without trying to change the other person to meet our every need.

Real love resides in knowing one another. In knowing what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are, what our potential is. In knowing these things we come to respect, and admire each other, and out of that, real love is born. In the words of Wayne Dyer, " Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you." 

Sharena, 34, Placentia, Calif. I know I'm in love when I feel an overwhelming sense of complete surrender and awe for another person and a feeling of completeness when we're together -- and incompleteness when we're apart. Real love can only be achieved through the test of time and mutually getting to know each other. I don't think real love is ever a one-way street. A crush or infatuation is a feeling of desire for a person based on my fantasy of what could be, should be, or might be, but not necessarily what is. It's kinda like my relationship with Rick S.

Lei, 40, Broomfield, Colo.    When I'm in love I feel that I'd like to do anything to make him happy. I think that the difference between a crush or infatuation and real love are taken - you want someone badly and given - you're willing to let him/her go.

Can some of these relate with something a Christian would think. To me some of these make kind of sense and some I am not sure, I like what Sharena, 34, from Placentia, Calif says, I am kind of like the I don't know what do you think smiley

[Petals]

 Well, according to the most reliable source the TV show (Ugly Betty), you'll also have sweaty palms.

[janine]

In some ways you cannot know whether those feelings you are feeling, those feelings that are giving you actual physical symptoms and making you happy and messing with your head --

In some ways you cannot tell if it's "real" until you and the beloved dedicate yourselves to each other and commit to sticking together no matter what.

IMO.

[spurly]

You know you are "in love" when you are willing to lay down your life for the other person and sacrifice yourself for their good, and they are willing to do the same for you.

[starla]

You know you are "in love" when you are willing to lay down your life for the other person and sacrifice yourself for their good, and they are willing to do the same for you.

Making a sacrifice like husband watching a lifetime TV movie with his wife or husband agrees to go shopping with his wife and enjoy it.

[shoshanarose]

Just had to look into the Singles forums...I was happy being single (happy now as a married but singlehood definitely has advantages!!!)

Well, being that I have "been in love" more than once; I recognized when I was truly "in love" with my husband...

We were at a nursing home ministering to the mother of a Jewish believer in Christ...my husband (just a friend at the time) led her to her Messiah and she prayed with him to receive Christ Jesus as Savior...I had his/now our 8 yr old daughter sitting upon my bended knee when I told myself "I am afraid to say this but I have to...I love him"  

IMHO...Love is not just a physical reaction...it is a perspective that changes the color of everything that we look at. I love his character (Christ Jesus in him...) and knew that no matter what...I loved that, whether or not I was ever going to be involved with him or not was not the question in my mind. The question that I felt that was answered that day was "what does love feel like?"...I felt it that day and every day since.

I hope you all find this kind of love...

[Mere Nick]

You know you are "in love" when you are willing to lay down your life for the other person and sacrifice yourself for their good, and they are willing to do the same for you.

A wife once asked her husband if he was willing to die for her.  He thought about it and said his was an undying love.

[janine]

Hee hee.

"Willing to die for" the loved one is nice... but it's not often gonna be exacted.

"Willing to live for", now, that I will take.

[saved by grace]

It's really tricky when you try to base it with your feelings. Feelings eventually fade. Feelings are changing. Infatuation is also one that gets to be mistaken for true love.

But based on the Bible, you are in love when your goal is directed towards the welfare of another person (the object of your affection). The LORD sets the standard. One of these is found in the Love Chapter of the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. Try this checklist to test if you're really in love. We all fall below the standard but we can always think about it, make up and change to make the relationship grow. Try the followig.

Substitute your name to the words pertaining to love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
It's like this:

Shalomar is patient towards .... (the name of the person)
Shalomar is kind towards .....
.
.
.
.

Just wanted to share. I read that somewhere back in High School and I kept that in mind up to now.

[janine]

I find that a good exercise.  It sure can show us where we need to improve!

Actually, I find that a good study technique if you do it anywhere in the whole Bible, if it's a place such a thing would fit grammatically.

[archaeologist]

you know when you are in love when your spouse opens your wallet removes some money and you know he/she is going to buy food for the two of you with  it.

seriously, you will know.

[sweetgal]

You know you are in love when he becomes your best friend. You think about him constantly. When something good or bad happens  you want to share it with him. It is hard to put into words.....there is a connection that goes much deeper than you have ever felt.

[janine]

It might also be a factor when you can easily forsee you and the love interest walking hand-in-hand in God's service.